Rhonda Louise Pens Humorous Debut Chick Lit!

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"The woman appears to be in her early forties but we later find out is well into her fifties. She is wearing a kimono and her shiny black hair is pulled back off her face into a complicated and painful-looking configuration at the back. She is a stunning doll-like creature. We are suddenly all painfully aware that in comparison we look like the chick in the Exorcist... "I Mamasan," she says in a voice so smooth you could iceskate on it. "Mamasan," she repeats with a smile and a nod...
"You tlouble," Mamasan says nodding "talk Mama." Maamasan nods her head at the end of each sentence. We all nod our heads vigourously to indicate a) that we understand, and b) that we too like to nod a lot...

"Mamasan sits silently in her sea for a few moments while we fidget uncomfortably on stage. Finally she approaches us. She comes up on stage and walks over to Phoebe, who is the nearest. She points to the top of Phoebe's costume which is a bikini top covered in sequins.
"Off?" She looks around at all of us. Ok, it seems like she is asking Phoebe to take her top off, but w got this wrong before. We say we don't understand.
"This." She takes hold of the bikini top. "Off." We are all too tired to play this game again, so we repeat that we don't understand. Mamasan goes behind Phoebe and unclips the back of her top. She starts pulling it off her shoulders. "Off," she says firmly.
Phoebe is dumbfounded and clutching the unclipped top to her bosom. "No." We all yell. "No no no."
By now there is no doubt. Mamasan is asking us to dance topless.
                                                                       ~~~

Wombat Sushi

By Rhonda Louise

Chick Lit Lovers who enjoy Humor must take a look! Let me quickly add that I had to look up Wombat and found WOMBAT is a "Waste Of Money, Brains, And Time"... LOL  Now that was on a Internet Slang site... It also is an animal in Australia... Eat it as Sushi...??? Oh Well, you may get the idea that this is going to be a confusing book suggesting that you eat Wombat raw...or that you're wasting a part of your life on this book... Hey, I'm just sharing a little about the title... After all, I figure you were as unsure about it as I was... But if you want to enjoy a smart-mouth woman who talks to her body parts and characteristics, you're gonna love this one...

Especially when you read the recipe on the back cover...Well, that just about says it all! 

Take 6 Australian dancers and one singer...

The book is written with Samantha (Sam) sharing the story. She is a competent dancer with experience--not so for all of the troupe! But she won't go topless... In case you immediately say, What?, I just thought I'd throw in that the contract called for "16 topless dancers..."

Oh Wait! It was all probably a language problem...

You see, the book opens when Sam is auditioning for a dance position in "exotic" places... Well, it turns out to be Japan! And none of them can speak Japanese, except one with some street language...

So when the girls get off the plane in Japan, there is a man with the usual sign, but when he sees the low number and the individuals involved, he doesn't believe it is the right group...

Not a good start...  

Because when they go to the first audition and meet Mamasan, she immediately begins to point to their tops, saying "off." None of them planned on that! Finally, three girls agree to go topless, one of them a ringer brought in later. This also puts the more qualified dancers in the back, because the topless theme is what is most important0--not the dancing...

Now the interesting thing about Sam is that she makes body parts "pretend people" with whom she then discusses what to do. So when Paranoia had suggested she not apply for the job, simply stating that Sam would be out of her league, it turns out to be a fun conversation for the readers...

But Sam was totally out of money and even Paranoia couldn't do anything about that...

The mix of dancers is also somewhat strange. Annabelle has been professionally trained... And is quite a pain...
Carly has barely learned to dance, but drinks a lot and so keeps going, taking her vodka drinks wherever she goes and, ahhhh, she's not too bright, but knows it, so that helps...??? 

Janey is the singer... Marie was added because she's not afraid to go topless. Phoebe is the prettiest and is talked into going topless. And then there is Jodi... Jodi has been on a number of trips and has been named as the captain of the troupe. She quickly agree to go topless...and is quick to say that she will do it just about any way they want...

A Denny's restaurant in Tokyo, Japan.
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In fact, Jodi provides a running commentary of what follows each night with the guys that she picks up, explicitly sharing each act with the members of her troupe... Well all of the other girls soon get tired of that, but they, too, go out nightly and take care of that "pinch of stupidity, dash of naivety, with loads and loads of alcohol." Drinking takes place in bars, and even Denny's in Japan...the drinking resulting in absolutely no self-restraint as also advertised on the back cover...

Actually, Denny's was found one night when they were all driving around trying to find their hotel. It seemed fairly easy to get local men to give them rides... Kaz had been driving when they finally saw Denny's and they all had stopped for something to eat...and drink...

Other than Jodi who manages to find a companion every night, and Marie, whose lover has come there to be with her during the tour, all of the other girls do not get involved... But, of course, they all have the club customers seeking their company after the shows to drink and talk--in fact, Mamasan requires this! LOL And each admitted later they were asked for private parties...

Sam had one night saw across the room that Jodi was with two men...One immediately caught her attention!

http://www.zimbio.com

But she was so involved with his good looks, that she could hardly speak! Finally, they did go on an afternoon drive and while out of the car, it was hauled away! This led to a wild fiasco with Japanese police with Roberto not having his passport or drivers license and then having to admit he didn't own the car...he stayed in jail while Sam did make it back to work, afraid to be fired if she had gone to get his papers! Not a great first date.

But Kaz who had driven them home that first night had become interested in Janey
had spent a lot of time with Roberto and it never worked out for Sam or Janey since they were always late, getting ready after their last shows...

You know, it is always difficult to talk about a humorous novel. The fun is in the total context of the story and is built up from the first page. For instance, if I say that one of the girls ate some chips that belong to another girl and that started an ongoing feud that continued...Telling about it just doesn't work, right? But Rhonda Louise's Sam, as the lead character, can whip out those "slide-ins" that you might almost miss if you weren't paying attention to the total narrative. And the fighting girls, well, they were quite able to share their fury!

Actually Sam is an interesting character and does well in keeping peace with most of the others throughout...but she also causes or initiates most of the things that turn out bad (though funny). Except it was Janey that decided that Sam and Roberto should take advantage of those 2-hour hotel rooms that were, first, explored...but I already told you...it just didn't happen...thankfully!

Now I haven't even mentioned that the girls were asked to do a traditional Japanese Dance and Tito who was to teach them, with Janey singing in Japanese, although she didn't speak it... Nor have I told you about the Sumo wrestlers, the Wedding...or Jabba the Hut (their manager)...

The characters are just what you'd imagine if women who danced professionally were forced to also lived together for weeks and months... Especially when they had never known each other or danced together before! The men in Japan...hmmmm... They were friendly (?)... but I'll bet they had never met a group like these Australian girls! And you won't have either! I did enjoy Sam's snappy discussion with her body parts, and her snide or sarcastic feedback, even though at terrible times...but she really was somewhat of a wimp until Janey told her about it...

Somehow I doubt Sam is going to change much... but she sure can tell it like it is in her books! 'Cause I'm just betting that Sam is a lot like the author--what say you Rhonda?! Take this on vacation as the weather turns warmer! Enjoy!

GABixlerReviews

Rhonda Louise lives on the South Coast of England with her amazingly tolerant husband and their naughty daughter. Wombat Sushi is her first novel...