Sunday, November 27, 2022

Every Reasonable Doubt - First in Series - By Pamela Samuels Young!


One of the advantages of being on Facebook or other sites where you are surrounded by writers, is that you're bound to pick up a free book from time to time! And, guess what, as of today, this book, Every Reasonable Doubt is still free, so I recommend you take a hop over to Amazon, because you will enjoy this one!

The brain is a funny thing. Sometimes it’ll just go numb for no apparent reason. Like when you’re in the middle of a conversation and whatever you were about to say just tumbles out of your head. That’s exactly what happened when I heard the jury’s verdict. My brain went totally numb. “Congratulations, counselor,” beamed David Winslow, my ever-arrogant second chair and a fellow associate at O’Reilly & Finney. He was smiling just like Howdy Doody. “Think this verdict’ll get us a
multimillion dollar book deal?” he whispered. I took exception to his use of the word “us” since he’d been nothing but a pain during the entire trial, and shook his extended hand anyway. I could smell the stale scent of the three double lattes he consumed each morning before eight. 
Turning away, I gripped the edge of the plaintiff’s table and tried to steady myself. I’d just won the biggest verdict of my career and I felt faint. The entire courtroom was one big, beige blur. The judge was speaking now, but I didn’t hear a word he was saying. I was buzzed from a strong blast of adrenalin, but trying hard to play it cool. As if juries handed me five-million-dollar verdicts every day. 
I suddenly remembered my client, Roland Hayes, standing next to me. He was gasping for air like an elderly asthmatic. The verdict obviously meant a whole lot more to him than it did to me. He’d be set for life. I pulled out his chair and motioned for him to sit. When I saw the jury rise, I assumed we were done. I sloppily stuffed papers into my Coach briefcase, hugged Roland for the second time, and watched as he ran off into the arms of his ecstatic wife. 
David, meantime, was flashing our despondent opposing counsel a gloating smile. As we headed out of the courtroom, a gang of reporters rushed toward us, nearly knocking us back inside. “Vernetta Henderson,” somebody shouted, “the jury’s five-million-dollar verdict is a pretty hefty award in a single-plaintiff race discrimination case. How do you feel?” 
I looked to my left and saw that the question came from the skinny blonde with the bad split ends from Channel 7. Before I could answer, another reporter hurled a question my way. “Ms. Henderson, why do you think the jury went so heavy on the punitives?” Because my client worked for a bunch of racist yahoos. I squeezed through the crowd, chin forward, shoulders erect, ignoring them. Just like they did on Law & Order. 
I looked over at David. His thin lips were tightly pursed. No one had bothered to stick a microphone in his face and he was pissed. When we reached the elevators, we found the down button blocked by a fortress of reporters. The hot, gleaming lights from a small TV camera nearly blinded me and somebody’s microphone kept nudging me in the back of the head. “Ms. Henderson, were you surprised at the verdict?” yelled a voice from the rear. I brushed passed the inquisitive mob, determined to ignore them. 
“No questions for now,” I said finally, as David and I escaped toward the stairwell. “We’ll talk to the media later this afternoon.”

Right from the first page, I was thrown back into the first sign, to me, that I was in trouble... It was a flashback where I was the facilities representative in a meeting with representatives of all vice-presidents of West Virginia University... I don't remember what I was talking about, but all of a sudden, my mind went blank. I still don't know how long everybody sat waiting for my next words... At some point, I began presenting my message again and the meeting went on.
I asked one of the women with whom I routinely worked and felt comfortable to open the topic. "Was it really noticeable when I stopped in the middle of a sentence?" She, I knew, was being kind, when she responded that it wasn't too bad... But, as anybody would have been, I was both embarassed, and frustrated that it had happened in front of one of the most important groups I could be meeting with: Those who led the direction for facilities planning and management for each related office across the campus. I had attended many other meetings with them, and many more with deans and directors of those administrators to whom space was allocated for their educational and other campus programs. I'd been interacting in this position for many years, but one thing had changed. A new Assistant Vice-President position had been created, and I had been told that I should not, as in the past, continue to work with the academic administrators. Yet, that was impossible given my overall job responsibilities. (more on another page...)

Vernetta Henderson, on the other hand, was driven to her mind stopping because she had just won a difficult and important racial discrimination case that would help her client, who had become disabled, be able to live comfortably for the rest of his life. Perhaps, it was difficult for her to react when her legal partner for the case, who had done little of the work which led to the successful verdict... Again, I flashbacked onto those who had also acted in the same vein, yet had no real concern that they actually were not effectively doing their jobs...

Needless to say, Vernetta received recognition within her office, which was great, since she hoped to one day become partner. Her boss was supportive and had assured her that she would be able to expand upon her present role into other areas of law. What she didn't imagine, however, was that it would happen immediately after the win of her present case!

She had several concerns, first, that her husband was pushing her to not work so many hours...and to work with him to start a family. Second, it was a murder case, for which she had no significant training or experience. And, finally, she did not have a good relationship with the other lawyer who was known for her criminal legal expertise and high-profile cases.

In fact, not only had the client asked for Neddy McClain, the other lawyer, she was fine not having another lawyer, until she learned that Vernetta had just won another high-dollar case... What was really bad, however, was that the leader of the company had made a big news splash about having a top-notched Black Women's team for a high-profile Black female client, who was being accused of murdering her husband... All the women had a right to be offended they were being used purely for the firm's publicity!

The husband, who some would say actually deserved being dead. He was an egotistic, womanizer who did not know what the word monogamy meant!  

Soon the normal activities for murder cases were underway, but it certainly was not the smooth sailing that would normally happen with a big-name law firm. Especially when the client seemed to evade the truth whenever she could get away with it...

One bright spot was a character named Special, who was the best friend to Vernetta... As Vernetta admitted, and I had to agree, just seeing her and hearing the outlandish guidance she would be giving made her, and me, smile... But the tension between Netty and Vernetta was palpable right from the start and reminded me that, oftentimes, women do not appreciate it when another has also moved upward in rank within the same company... For my own background, I had heard the gossip that I must have "slept" my way out of the clerical role to move upward... The only thing you can do is ignore that type of situation... However, Vernetta realized that she had to work with Netty, whether she liked it or not... And the ups and downs of not only the case investigation began, but also the ups and downs of the interactive communications between all those involved was, as mentioned earlier, quite extraordinary... especially when the news reporters honed in on the "dream team" not being such a dream... Netty quickly began to act on her own, as she would for handling a case, while Vernetta knew that if she allowed that to happen, she would not be able to learn as well as participate as she needed to in this important case.

As all great legal thrillers are, readers are kept guessing what and who was doing what and when. But slowly Vernetta was picking up on many details that would affect the outcome of the case. And awareness that a lot of lying was going on by many!

I admit that I watched with a great deal of interest as Vernetta had to deal with her husband wanting more of her time, especially when he heard that, right after the completion of a big case, she was now going into another highly visible and time-consuming murder defense... All the way through, I was wondering if their marriage was going to make it... 

This was an interesting first book in a series. One reader commented that the first was ok but the next was going to be great... Well, I was fascinated by the first book and no doubt will be heading for the next in series! So many great books, So Little Time! LOL! But I think you'll enjoy this one. The characters are well developed and readers will be drawn to each as the story moves forward... Do check it out while it's free and enjoy!

God Bless


Friday, November 25, 2022

Sharon Sala Responds to School Mass Shooting in Novel, The Next Best Day - A Beautiful God Incident in Less Than 400 Pages...


"When in God's Name, will we do what we all know needs to be done!?" asks our President as he speaks to America after still another school mass shooting which occurred recently in Texas... 

And then the video above goes on to share that the governor, the past president and a congressman were heading for the national NRA convention where there would never be, if that group has its way, that the ban of military-style automatic guns and, more, a registration of guns in America, for instance, will never take place. All those things that republicans continue to refuse to even consider talking about and negotiating to bring about REAL responses to the horrendous reputation for America being the only country that "hosts" mass shootings!

And the video goes on to say that those suffering from so many deaths are tired of hearing "we will be thinking and praying for you..." THAT IS JUST NOT AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE ANYMORE... Yet those of us who want gun reform know that unless the republican party is zapped into a major change--perhaps one that is based upon God's Judgment of those who refuse to stop the flood of dead children down the river of republican stubborness and selfish concern for themselves and power... We have no words that can be given to those with unforgettable and unforgivable hate that has encircled those in power of the party... 

And, once again, a writer takes up her pen to spotlight the pain and suffering and the real inability to put such trauma aside and return to a former life that has been so drastically changed... Sala has done an excellent job of placing this last horror and many others school shootings into each reader's memory--a memory that will stand strong as the nation, and each of us, are fighting to force A STOP TO KILLING CHILDREN, just by being willing to acknowledge that the proliferation of so many guns, available anywhere and everywhere...MUST be accepted as the PROBLEM to be solved!

What the hell am I supposed
 to be learning from all this crap?

The silence within the walls was broken only by the sounds of weeping. Boyd French cleared his throat and continued, and so did the slide show, as he move on to the recognition of each of the twelve students who’d been wounded, and then the last picture was one of Katie. 

“All of you…those who were not wounded, and those who were…those who we lost, and those who were saved, are heroes because you did everything right. It was the stranger who did everything wrong. But in the midst of all the tragedy, first-grade teacher Katie McGrath shielded two of her students with her body, took the bullets meant for them, and saved their lives, and for that we come today to also honor Miss McGrath. Katie, would you please come forward?” 

Katie stood, her knees shaking. And as she began walking toward the podium, everyone in the gym began chanting her name. “Katie! Katie! Katie! Katie!” Boyd held up his hand, then pulled a plaque from a shelf beneath the sound system. “Katie, on behalf of the Albuquerque public school system and Saguaro Elementary, it is my honor to present this award. It reads: ‘To Katie McGrath, for courage, bravery, and sacrifice in the line of fire.’” He handed it to Katie, who was visibly overwhelmed as she clutched it to her. 

“Are you okay to say a few words?” he whispered. She nodded, then moved to the microphone and took a deep, shaky breath. “Thank you. This is unexpected, and such an honor. But it feels strange to accept an award for doing the same thing every other teacher here was doing that day. We were all putting ourselves between your children and the danger they were in. Every year, your children, who you entrust to our care, become ours for a little while each day. We work hard to make sure they are learning what matters. 

“Some days we want to wring their necks. Some days we are so proud of them for how hard they try. And every day we love them. Enough to die for them, which is what happened here. I don’t know why I’m still here, but all I can assume is that I am supposed to be. Again, thank you for this recognition, and thank you for the hundreds of letters and well-wishes that were sent to me.” 

The audience gave her a standing ovation as she walked back to her chair, wiping tears as she went. The principal ended the program with a final announcement. “Earlier this morning, we unveiled five wooden benches on the playground. Each bench has a name etched on it to commemorate a precious life that was lost here. Yes, the names will be reminders of our tragedy, but as time passes, the benches will also come to represent a place to rest from the innocence of play, and for teachers to sit while they watch over your children on the playgrounds. 

We will not forget. 

“Now, this concludes our program. Students, unless your parents are here, you will return to your classes. Parents, if you wish to take your children home with you at this time, they will be excused. Just notify their teachers before you leave with them. And…Katie, I think your class is going back to their room with their parents and teacher in hope that you will stop by to visit with them before you leave...”


Sala's main character is a school teacher in a small town school and is beloved by her students. In fact, when the shooting started, you could tell, just as many brave souls are doing across the nation, that this school teacher was prepared and willing to strive to save all of her children, even to the point where she might be killed in acting to do so. 

Katie McGrath, the teacher and main character, was looking forward to being married in her near future. One of the important reasons she was so happy was that she was, in addition to gaining a husband, she was also gaining a family... Katie had been a foster kid and by 12 realized that there were few, if any, people who really cared about her...Her attitude started to reflect what was surely a defense mechanism against being hurt...again...

Once she graduated from high school in Chicago and left the foster care system, she knew exactly what she was going to do. She wanted to be a teacher, and with the help of a couple of grants and working two jobs for four years, she put herself through college. 
Coming to Albuquerque to teach, which was where she was now, was also where she met Mark Roman. He was a farm boy from Kansas who had a junior position in a CPA firm, while Katie taught at Saguaro Elementary. Now, three years later, here they were, ready to take that next step in their relationship, and she couldn’t be happier. She was just getting out of the shower when she got a text from Lila Reece, a fellow teacher who’d become her best friend, and today, her maid of honor. It was a “good morning, good luck, see you at the chapel” kind of message, but it brought reality to the day. 
It was time to get moving. After breakfast, Katie loaded up her things, made a quick trip to her hairdresser, then hurried off to the chapel to meet Lila. Lila was short, blond, and curvy—the opposite of Katie, who was tall with dark shoulder-length hair and the metabolism Lila longed for. When Katie pulled up in the parking lot, Lila helped carry in the dress and everything that went with it. “I love your hair!” Lila said, eyeing the smooth, silky strands as they headed inside. 
Katie smiled. “Thanks. This style works really well with the veil,” she said. They spent the next couple of hours getting ready in one of the dressing rooms, laughing and talking. Gordy Thurman, Mark’s best man, arrived early, too, and popped in to give her a thumbs-up. “Hey, Katie, you look beautiful. So do you, Lila,” he said. 
“Thanks,” Katie said. “Is Mark here yet?” “Not yet, but we both know Mark Roman is never going to be the early bird. He’ll be here soon,” Gordy said, then waved and went to find the men’s dressing room. The wedding chapel was a popular venue, even though the wedding wasn’t going to be a large one. Just Katie and Mark. A maid of honor and a best man…and fifty guests.

And that young woman, who once had a chip on her shoulder, and who had opened up her heart for love, finally...was left at the altar, or at least at the church...

Lila reached for Katie with both arms and pulled her up and then hugged her so hard. “I’m so sorry, Katie. I’m stunned. I can’t believe he just—” 
Katie pushed Lila away and took a deep breath. “I should have known. I should have known. I have never been enough,” she mumbled. “God give me strength.” Then she tore off the veil, tossed it aside, yanked up the front of her skirt with both hands so she wouldn’t trip, and strode out of the dressing room.

Her only salvation was to continue working, teaching her little children, knowing that they loved her, they never thought to lie, but openly expressed all that they wanted to share with their loved ones and that, included, their teacher... She would get over this latest rejection...

And then just as she was thinking that it couldn't get worse, she was still happily discussing whose turn it was to lead her class to the lunch room, and as they walked, she heard shooting. Quickly turning the children around, she moved toward the nearest classroom, which, thankfully, was her best friend's room, who immediately unlocked the door and let the children move through the door. It was then that Katie saw that two of her children were still in the hall. They were crying; one boy had fallen and the other was trying to help him. Another teacher came up beside her to help... Only to be shot. Katie did not think, concerned only for her two students, she fell on top of them and lay there as she began to feel the shots that entered the back of her body...

It was not hard for me to realize what would come next for Katie. Though the tragedy might be different for Katie and me, I knew that she would be going into PTSD... and it didn't take long before it began...right after she had been recognized as one of the heroes that day...

He offered her his elbow, and she slipped her hand beneath it. Together, they made their way through the exodus of guests. 
They were about halfway there when Katie realized where they were and immediately looked down. When she did, she stumbled and would have fallen if the principal hadn’t caught her. 
“I’m sorry,” Katie said. “I just realized where we were. It took me off guard.” 
“I don’t know what you mean,” Boyd said. Katie shuddered and started walking, almost at a run, as if to get away from the area, and Boyd hurried to catch up. 
“That’s where Coach Lincoln was shot. We were running,” Katie said. 
“Oh my,” Carl said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” 
Katie shook her head. “It’s not your fault. Everything in this building triggers a memory now. It is what it is.” 
And then they were at the door to her room. 
“I can take it from here,” she said. “What’s the substitute teacher’s name?” 
“Um…Abby King,” he said. “Thank you,” Katie said. She took a deep breath and knocked, then pushed the door ajar. There were parents lined up against the walls, and a short, thirty-something woman wearing a yellow smock and purple pants standing beside the desk. She had a turned-up nose, pink hair, and a pencil stuck behind her ear. She looked like a living, breathing fairy. How absolutely perfect, Katie thought, and then smiled. 
“May I come in?” Abby King turned and opened her arms wide like she was going to hug her. “Yes! Yes! Welcome back!” Abby said. 
Katie waved at the parents and barely got the door closed behind her before she was engulfed. Twenty familiar little faces were turned up to her. Hands were touching and petting, and all of them were talking at once. And then she saw Alejandro and Kieran pushing their way through the crowd, and they were crying. When they got to her, they just wrapped their arms around her legs and held on. 
Abby King immediately took control of the situation. “Children, let’s give Miss Katie a little room, okay? You will all get a chance to talk to her personally. Each of you find your spot on the floor in the reading circle, and Miss Katie can sit in the teacher chair, okay? Parents can listen in, but I think today is for Miss Katie and her class.” 
At that point, Katie put her purse and the award aside and dropped to her knees, hugging the boys to her. “We thought you died,” Alejandro said. “I’m sorry I fell down. You came back for us.” Kieran nodded. “You sure can run fast, Miss Katie. Thank you for coming back.” 
Katie knew if she cried now, everyone in the room would be in tears. “Of course I went back to get you both, and Alejandro…everyone falls down. It’s the getting back up that matters. And we all got up and ran, didn’t we? And we’re safe now. Okay?”
“Okay,” they echoed, and then hugged her again. 
“We heard you tell us not to talk and not to move, and we did just what you said,” Kieran whispered. 
“I’m so proud of you for following orders. It was important, wasn’t it?” she said. 
Alejandro nodded, then reached up and patted her cheek. “You said you loved us. Just like Mama says when she tucks me in at night.” 
Katie’s eyes welled. “And I do love you. All of you. You are so precious to me. Now. Let’s go find our place in the reading circle, okay?”

And then something wonderful happened. A wonderful writer, with both sympathy and empathy, brought the characters and readers all into one closed circle of sharing. Sharon Sala knew by page 36 of a novel that held 399 pages, that all of us were totally involved in a reality where little childrens and adults can be murdered by somebody who has been incited to hate... And to act on that hate...

And she then began to weave a story, recognizing the trauma experienced by both the characters and we readers who have experienced that reality on today's news--of one mass shooting after another. Sala wrote exactly what we readers needed to see. We saw, first, the aftermath of a school shooting, and the dreams that left her main character, waking, frightened, and running--running, trying to get away from the shooter. While at the same time, being afraid for her students... And like I did, finally, Katie realized that she could not stay in a place where so much had happened that she could just not, in any way, forget and...get over...

The 300+ pages of the  last part of the story is what I remembered after finishing the book. This author has a wonderful ability to create charactrs who we can easily think of as our neighbors, or our friends made while working... Her writing becomes smooth, a lovely flow of quietly moving forward from what cannot be forgotten, yet, in a most beautiful way allow a new life, far grander than could be imagined, to begin.

“Yes, they do, Billy, and thank you for letting me wander about in here. It was such a pleasure to meet you.” 
“The pleasure was mine,” he said, and then took an object from beneath the counter and set it before her. “I would be honored if you would accept this little gift from me to you. The figurine sitting at her dresser reminded me a bit of you. While it is within a globe, it is not a snow globe. It is a music box. If you wind it up, it plays ‘Clair de Lune,’ which is one of my favorite music-box tunes. I don’t know who it belonged to, and you don’t know who you belonged to, and it’s quite charming, as are you. I wanted you to have your own antique. 
I have cleared it and blessed it, so there are no lingering entities attached…but who knows? It may be the trigger to an antiques addiction of your own.” Katie’s eyes welled. Tears rolled before she could stop them, and then she couldn’t get her emotions under control. “I don’t know… Nobody ever… Oh my God…thank you. You have no idea how treasured this will be.” 
Billy wrapped the music box in layer after layer of tissue, then boxed it up and slipped it into a gift bag. “Your joy is my joy,” Billy said. “Enjoy. And if the music box quits playing, bring it in. I know how to fix them.” 
“Yes…oh my…thank you,” Katie said, blinking back tears. She carried the bag clutched to her breasts as if it was a newborn as she left the store. Billy Arnold hadn’t just given her a gift. He had acknowledged her existence. Katie’s real identity was a mystery, as was the original owner of this music box. They’d both been lost by fate and time until Billy had become their intermediary. Billy had cared enough to give Katie her own antique, and the music box was no longer lost. She felt grounded by another woman’s history—a woman she would never know. 
She drove away, still blinking back tears. She was too full…spilling over from the love she’d been given. She’d been acknowledged. She felt seen. She drove until she found an empty parking lot, then pulled in and parked before she realized it was a church. She sat for a few minutes, trying to pull herself together and wondering at the irony of ending up here at this moment. Katie’d quit talking to God years ago because she didn’t think He was listening. She would pray for a family. She’d pray to be removed from one bad foster home to another. She’d prayed to be rescued…somehow…in any way He saw fit. But it never happened. And the broken broken child she was believed God could neither see nor hear her because she did not matter. 
Now, when the most wonderful thing had just happened to her, she found herself here. She laughed, but in it were the sounds of anger and disbelief. “What am I supposed to do here?” she cried. “Bow down at Your feet when You left mine bare? Join a church and listen to a man I don’t know start telling me how I’m supposed to live? If You’ve been following the shit show that has been my life, what about it do You expect me to thank You for?” She closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat, choking on sobs...

A lovely story by Sharon Sala will, if you allow it, grace your heart and home with a presence that, often, many of us feel will never come to us...and, yet, at the perfect time, it seems, brings us back into a very real awareness that God is indeed watching us and that he does have a plan, even though it may take years before the life unfolds before us, as if, it was always meant to be... That is a gift that Sala has given to me and, I hope, to you...

For when we see the hate right now in America, incited purely for a show of power as opposed to any real feeling except selfishness... We must find solace. For me, it was reading The Next Best Day. A truly memorable book of God's Love and His Plan...

God Bless,


spotlighting Memorable Quotes

Thursday, November 24, 2022

Musical Thanksgiving Wishes To All Of YOU!



Lord, In the midst of chaos
Let us Stop, even if just for a day,
to rest and know that You Are With Us...
And we Give Our Thanks!

God Bless to All!


Wednesday, November 23, 2022

With Continued Incitement of Lies and Violence, Republican Party Continues to Provokes and "Use" Americans to Gain Power


Each morning as I awake, I start thinking about writing about the wonderful books I've been reading, only to turn on the News and Learn of Still Anothr Mass Shooting!

Have you noticed that many television stations are pulling out specific past programs to highlight what is now happening in America... All over America, there are people striving to stop what has and is happening to America... Many writers are also using topics that are on the nightly news in one way or another, again, normally to show the "good over evil" theme... For surely, there is indeed a fight between good and evil... and right now, evil is winning... In my opinion, because they are allowed to, for whatever reason... And, it appears that, also my opinion, most of this incitement is coming from the republican party...

Take for instance, the Law and Order program last night. (The third video aboves highlights the theme.) Freedom of Speech Versus Use of Speech to Incite Hate and Violence. Let me just say that the man who incited hate and violence in white boys, was found guilty!!!

Yet republicans continues  to incite... Mike Pompeo chose to name One Woman the most dangerous person in the world... Is this garbage dissemination for real? 

Former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo speaks during a Republican Jewish Coalition Annual Leadership Meeting in Las Vegas on November 18, 2022.

Weingarten pushed back hard on Twitter. “I know that Mike Pompeo is running for president, and frankly, I don’t know whether to characterize his characterization ... as ridiculous or dangerous,” she wrote.

Weingarten accused Pompeo of defending “the Middle East’s tyrants,” “undermining Ukraine,” and kowtowing to Trump instead of “fighting 4 freedom.”

“So Mike, let me make it easy for you,” Weingarten continued in her Twitter thread. “We fight for freedom, democracy, and an economy that works for all. We fight for what kids & communities need. Strong public schools that are safe and welcoming, where kids learn how to think & work with others. That’s the American Dream!” (Click to read the rest of the news story...

Of course, all those running for office, or those who are now in congress or will be coming on board in January...are telling lies and spreading and inciting disinformation...

It is quite easy, therefore, to immediately tie all of the recent mass shootings to the republican party as well. Why? Well, we all know that answer don't we? But, just to clarify...I'm sharing what happens when the republicans refuse to stop assault guns used to murder in large numbers 

 Mass Murder at Walmart last night

Mass Murder at Community social club November 21

Mass Murder on college campuses days ago...

And it's extremely hard for me, especially, to see that supposed Christians have supported all of this such as January 6th!

The thing is, most of us are so confused because of the lies and disinformation, that we cannot know WHO TO BELIEVE! When I was told that if I was a Christian, I had to vote for republicans... Then, I've sat watching all the incitement of hate, prejudice, and so many lies... One thing I cling to is that God Is Love. Surely, He does not expect us to believe those who claim being a christian when at the same time, we see that republicans have for many years refused to do just one thing: Ban the military style guns which have and are being used to murder innocents, including our children... I find only one solace, I see those speaking out, those voting out extremists who claim to be christian, but talk of war, hate...instead of loving our neighbors...

I have NO choice. I must believe those who seek to eliminate the hate, the violence... Can we justify to ourselves, our God, doing something differently?

Bottom Line for me, though is this: Where were the Christians' outrage when ball games began to be played on our supposed Sabbath, and so many watch or play and even left church early (where I attended) to get to games! 

Or consider that Christians have made no public concern about the fact that TV and Movie, and Game stars pull in more of an audience than do church leaders...

Or consider that many Christians have allowed and made Santa Claus and the Bunny Rabbit more important on two of the most important Christian celebrations...allowing their children to see just how much parents supposedly follow Christ our Savior...

Or consider that sexual abuse, human trafficking of children and teens, especially, and drugs are part of many lives of those who claim to be Christians... No wonder young people are having more and more problems with mental issues, given the hypocrisy seen... while their parents scream and even kill for changing laws on abortion, while supporting political leaders who "approve" of incest, rape, and lack of medical care for women... How could we possibly expect Americans to believe that we should be a "Christian" nation?!

God Bless



Monday, November 21, 2022

Open Memoir: A Single Christian Woman: Is Sex THAT Important?! Preface

SOMETHING happened to me in early life. I have blocked it. But it involved an older man. When he died, he was viewed in his home, with which I was very familiar. I walked around the house from living room to kitchen to dining room and then into the room where his casket was located. I cried harder each time that I walked through that room... I could hear somebody say, she is really upset... But in my mind, I was saying over and over and over and over: "I'm glad he's dead!" And I was crying for feeling guilty for those feelings for an uncle as well as a church leader...

SOMETHING happened to me in early life. I remember a boy looking up my dress, trying to see up my dress, telling me to stand this way or that way. I knew what he was doing. Was it part of playing?

SOMETHING happened to me in first grade. Dale Clark gave me a note: I like you, do you like me? I smiled at him--my first boy friend... Nothing happened... It was nice to have a friend who liked me.

SOMETHING happened to me in grade school. The girls got together to plan to wear shorts under our dresses...and swing on the limbs down in the woods... Boys watched...

SOMETHING happened during grade school... My Mom was working and my aunt and uncle started caring for me. I remember my uncle who called me Shorty, would tell me to clean up this plate or another. Maybe he thought he was helping since my mother worked so hard to feed us... I started to gain weight...

SOMETHING happened when my aunt and uncle moved into a larger house, maybe when I was around 5 or 6. My uncle wanted to know if I wanted to see his new barn. I remember he took my hand as we walked out the driveway. We looked around downstairs and then he took me to the second floor. Nothing was there except one chair and he said I could sit there. He bent down in front of me, and put his hands on both of my legs. He never did anything else that day. But I never went back out with him to the barn. When I told many years later, one sister started to talk about his neighbor women who were, supposedly, lesbians; the other sister declared I misunderstood... Mom was not a talkative woman on any subject; she was always working...

SOMETHING happened around fourth grade. A neighbor, Kenny, gave me my first kitten... He would sit up in the lawn of his uncle's home and wave to me on my porch--things like that... a nice "third" boy friend in my life... (Jimmy was a neighbor's grandson and we later went to school together, he was second for me to enjoy as a boy friend.)

SOMETHING happened to end that friendship. He was allowed to date and I knew I would not be...

SOMETHING happened in my teens, a cousin who carried newspapers came into the house, I was ironing. Before I realized what was happening he was saying, as he rubbed up closely against my back, "I think I'll take a break..." I stopped ironing and went to another room until he left. He was the son of that first uncle I talked about first above.

SOMETHING happened when I was visiting my grandmother. I can remember my grandfather but he died before I really got to know him. That day, an uncle was there with his children and we were all around the front porch. Dale called, "Hey Fatty"...and then asked a question, never heard because I had turned away. I remember my mother said, "Dale, your Uncle spoke to you..." I was irritated and turned to look at Mom and said, "That is not my name!" And walked away... No followup of what I did happened.

SOMETHING happened later that day, across the road. A grange building was located there and all the kids were in back of the and somebody decided to play like we were on a stage... I remember Joyce and I were at the top of the steps and moving around, lifting our skirts... I thought my sister Dee was there; she doesn't remember...

SOMETHING happened when I started Junior High. I became friends with two girls on the bus we rode to Masontown, PA. Carolyn was Catholic; Marian was the first Black person I had ever met. We became close friends. Carolyn had a boyfriend, Clyde who had a friend named Robert. I quickly developed a crush on him... We all were a group of friends... My weight remained high... I had many boy and girl friends during junor and senior high but no boyfriends. I had learned that being overweight made you..." different..." I never dated in highschool.

SOMETHING happened when I started to work in July, 1963. I had taken the standard employment tests and was offered a job in Personnel! Apparently my weight did not affect my test scores... (which I later looked up, of course! LOL)

SOMETHING happened when I started to become friends with the Director's secretary, Bettie. We became friends and she scheduled an appointment at the Student Clinic on campus... She and I were going to help me lose weight. Which I did...

SOMETHING happened as I started working and also losing weight... I began to get attention... At one time, I remember I counted that 13 men, all married, were flirting with me whenever they saw me or would even call me. knowing I answered the phone...

SOMETHING happened to me. I became aware that I must be attractive... For the first time, I saw myself as a woman "interesting" to men...

SOMETHING happened as I was answering all calls coming into the office at that time...A man said, "Will you Jack me off? "I'm sorry sir, I don't understand you, this is Personnel"...  "Will you jack me off? I repeated my question. I could understand his words but didn't know what he meant. By that time, one of the employment officers had walked into my office and was listening. The guy asked again and I responded again. Finally he hung up in frustration, I guess. It happened to be that the guy in my office was called Jack. He asked me what was said and I told him. Jack started laughing, so much that he turned and left, saying I'll talk to you later. Jack and I were about the same age, but he quickly realized that I really didn't know what the guy was saying... When I later went to his office, Jack started laughing again, which bothered me, and he handed me a piece of paper. It held a word that I did not know and he told me to look it up..."

SOMETHING was very wrong. My life had been full of what you would call, perhaps, sexual abuse... (these are just the highlights of early years) And I realized when I read the meaning of the word that I was given to look up, that I was really not prepared to work in this world... And I realized something else... Everything that had happened in my life I had judged as The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, based upon WHO the person was... Even if what was happening probably was bad for a Christian (I was baptized at age 13), but that because I loved the person, I considered it good--playing, touching, caring...

SOMETHING happened to me and I had learned that Sex was ALWAYS going to be part of it all... It seemed that Sex was THAT important in the world, and starting with my small community and church in which I grew up...

SOMETHING happened when the METOO Movement Started. I, for the first time in my life, openly stated that I was a victim! Just like so many other women and some men...

SOMETHING happened at that time. I realized that none of my family or the church had prepared me for what had happened or even seemed to care...

SOMETHING happened when a candidate for our president, was heard to say that he could grab "me," or any woman, and they wouldn't mind because he was famous... Me and thousands spoke out telling him he was wrong!


SOMETHING happened to me; I had become a woman! And I wasn't going to take anything that was made to make me feel inferior to any man... and I expected respect!

SOMETHING HAD INDEED HAPPENED... I've learned that Christian Men were NO Different that anybody else related to SEX.

And as a single Christian woman, I had already and would continue to have to deal with... S E X...

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Open Memoir: A Single Christian Woman - The Day For Music! God So Loved the World!


Now in my elder years and with mobility issues of one kind or another for the last five or so years, I've not been in church... That was not the case for more than 70 years, so, I've found that I wind up worshipping My Way... It works for me...and seems to be ok with God. There may have been a few nudges from time to time to get back into a church, but then, again, I've established online friendships and shared about my life as you would do within a church community.

No matter what age I am, I tend to remember the songs that I learned while singing in church and within the church choir. Many time I may search for a specific song, such as John 3:16 God So Loved the World. Often such as the one above, I find that it has been adapted for special use for children so that they can better understand and learn.. For me, that means that I still have by memory of the words that we most  sang as a child.

Often, we are able to "see" the Bible rather than reading... all based upon a basic set of words: For God So Loved the World...

We can always be sure to find peace with God, Our Father, no matter what is happening here on earth... Here we can find that Christ wants us to look at ourselves first, rather than to speak ill against others... Knowing that, without Love, we are nothing.

But now, we are caught in a world that is filled with hate, prejudice, judgment, bias--without mercy, without consideration for those who are in some way different from us... Did not God ask that we go out to tell people about Jesus? Did He not talk of Loving our neighbors as ourselves? And, do we not also see that God's name is being used by those seeking power? And do we not see that those who are supposed leaders mock and turn away from anybody who does not worship their commandments? Yet, did we not hear that Christ died for our sins? Because God So Loved the World?

Lord, Rip the Hate from Our Hearts
And Show Us All YOUR Love
For All Creation!




Open Memoir: Sleeping with 4 Kittens and Stevie, the Mother! Wonderful! Thank you Anonymous! The Cycle of PDST is Over

Hi Everybody, I'm feeling great this morning, and out of the cycle of PTSD... If you made it through yesterday's post--Thank you those who allowed me to vent, and especially, to Anonymous with her one word comment, which was all I needed--Wonderful! If you made it, let's move on to what I've decided about my second book. A Single Christian Woman: Is Sex So Important?!

One thing I have learned by the later years of my life, is that nobody can separate their lives into "parts." You all know what I mean, if just one part becomes an issue--for example, dealing with a major construction project on your home--all parts of YOU are affected--mentally, physically, emotionally... We ARE What We ARE...

I happen to like me...In a recent conversation with Rachel, my great-niece and now caregiver when I need help, also decided she liked herself as she was too...

Along the way, we'll be talking about that more...!!! It's important! If God loves me and if you believe He created us with a plan...which I "kinda" do (more on that later), then, in my humble opinion, I think we should also like, and even love ourselves!

So, here's the plan... I will be writing both books at the same time, based upon, mostly, events of today that affects my daily living. And leads to flashbacks of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of my life...

I will identify each book via Hashtag: which is a process used in computereze to, essentially, file a document within the that you can then find and assemble information on one topic. 

The book(s) will be divided into Early Life, School Daze (spelling intended), Adult Life, and Memory Times.

I will be identifying each part of my life with a song that for me represents my personal life during that period. 

As usual, music will accompany most anything I write, if at all possible. Most will be favorites of the time period; but in the retirement period, I'll be seeking out new songs in the religious area. You might have noticed that, for instance, on election day, when I wrote it...I wanted to represent I used songs from various denominations, also Jewish, Muslim...I'm not sure if there were others...

One of the things I can alert all of you to is that, as you get older, plan ahead to deal with a natural occurrence--forgetfulness... we can talk about that later... But, my important first message: Forgetting does not mean that you are incompetent! You know, folks, it really irritates me when those who lie and think nothing of denigrating another with personal attacks on mental acuity, age or disability of an individual! It's happening far too often within the MAGA group, so you can bet I will be calling it out from time to time.

This song popped into my mind first, so I'll use it for my adult life. By now, most of you know, I'm a pretty good listener to that small voice inside that speaks to guide us.. For, of course, the adult years does deal with fascination--attraction, sexual and friend, as well as for things, ideas, sports, and entertainment...

One of the things I was thinking about early morning, deciding whether to get up or not, was that I do not recall ever seeing the Bible read in our early lives. My father was killed in a mine accident (1944) while my mother was carrying me; and I was born and named after him, Glenn. in 1945. 

What all of us--2 sisters and 1 brother most remember was that Mom was working ALL the time. She worked during the day to care for an elderly woman, clean and cook, and after that day, she would do other LPN care for neighbors, such as giving shots to the elderly. She also did clothes washing/ironing. But what she did do, was provide food and housing and made sure we were clothed, ready to go to church every time the door opened. My Mom taught us Love through her actions not words. My Mom taught us the work ethic and moral obligation to care for others... A true role model for all who knew her.

As we near our years when our work life or whatever has occurred during our earlier years, is affecting our lives--you know what I mean, it may be your knees that start bothering you, or you, for the first time, need to wear glasses to see a little better... or, bottom line, your personal independence is no longer a viable way of life, for me, in one way, I find comfort in knowing my Lord Jesus is with me... But, that, my daily life of being able to do what I want, when I want to, is no longer possible--I recognized that I needed help...

It's hard, I know, believe me, I do know. Even during the last two weeks, when I tried to surprise my niece, I failed... I knew I could not deal alone with the lies, the disinformation, the human mistakes for which I didn't receive any acknowledgement but rather an attempt to throw it back to my memory failure, or that I did't understand... We do it this way...Period... And what you want or need is really not relevant anymore... 

Please, Please, Please, recognize that you may be older, you may be forgetting some things...but you are YOU and GOD Loves You and everybody else... SHOULD! lol  

Well, maybe not everybody, but I mean, we all must work together if we are to survive today's world... For me, I have seen America going backward rather than forward... That greatly bothers me... But, for me, most of all, I have seen during the last years that people who call themselves Christians (Jesus Christ died for us because of Loving Us) hate those who also call themselves Christians...just because we have different opinions... or because they have not met Jesus and have different beliefs... or... simply because they have a different skin color... or a different language... or because they were born poor and were never able to change that, even though they wanted to, needed to, wanted to... They are different from us.. because what we want is based on the philosophy of ALL FOR THE LOVE OF GREED OR DESIRE FOR POWER!


Think about it, if we didn't all have different talents, interests, and capability, we would not be able to function as a nation. Each individual has something to contribute, if it is nothing but a smile, or giving us the sound of laughter, or planting beautiful flowers and trees, or even keeping our earth clean... Cherish you, the life you have...and like my Mom prepared me, teach your children about love...all else comes after that...

In God's Love


Saturday, November 19, 2022

Hashtag: Open Memoir: Emotionally Damaged: Living With Job Burnout/PTSD :... Prologue: Thrown Into PTSD by Online Roofing Company


I've learned enough to know that when your brain is stressed to the point that you are unable to function, and if that happens from your working environment, then you should consider that you are beginning or already into Job Burnout. It is not my intent to go into any part of the actual physical ramifications to your body--rather to just share what happened to me. One point though, I do want to mention, is that when you move into either clinical depression, which is what I was originally medically classified under, there is a permanent change to the chemical balance of your brain. For me, that imbalance has remained and results in flashback stressful activities from my past. And outward emotional reactions will be either to cry or become angry. If continued, it will become both.

The feelings of frustration, helplessness, aggression become so overwhelming that, sometimes, I am unable to do anything more than just...react! And, sometimes, perhaps, for the object of my emotions, over-react. But I have little or no ability to curb those emotions at the time... I have been Emotionally Damaged by Job Burnout. And Left With PTSD.

I'll be sharing most of this book through the use of what is commonly used in fiction, which I have found, after reading hundreds and thousands of books in my life, to be an effective way for me to create my story. At first, I had thought I would try to give a formal non-fiction format a try, but stewing over it overnight, I just didn't think it would work. Reading a story by Carolyn Arnold, one of my favorite writers, give me the clue that I needed...

Events in my present life, which have thrown me into PTSD, will be presented, thereafter, I will be sharing about the types of work experiences that have filled my life and which, in turn, led to, ultimately, Job Burnout.

Given my life span, I have a fairly broad expanse of music that fills my mind when I'm writing. And I knew the musical that included the representative of my experience with the online company, "Genius." Some of you may remember the story of an old-time snake-oil salesman who came into town, selling this thing or that thing...and swept through telling lies and charm, and a slick story, only to be found later, that the individuals in the town were suckered in by the shyster... Well, that's how I now saw the first contact of this roofing company...

I needed a new roof... Again...

Interestingly, as I look back, I don't recalI that I'd had any real problems with my roof; however, when my sister had to have a roof replaced of the house in which we both grew up, she had received a recommendation from my niece's husband, who lived across the street from my sister... Yeah, a "fly-by-night" type of company, for which I never knew a company name.

Looking back on it, I figure that this company did a good job because it was a different type of roof (higher) and that my niece's husband was probably watching them work...

My sister was happy and quickly recommended them to me, so I, of course, decided that it might as well get done now because I knew my roof was the original one when my cabin was built...

So, the crew came out and looked at my cabin's roof. I spent some time talking about specifics that I would also like done during the project. The leader shook his head, nodding "yes" and went on into that he could do it right away...if... 

I had the money...

My little cabin is about 1400 square feet, with a split level roof, due to vaulted ceilings on one side of the building and a flatter level on the other side. 

I choose not to include the details of that fiasco, except to share that I finally had gone into PTSD, exploded and fired the crew. They had completed the roofing, had done none of what I had asked for, and, we found, had used different shingles, which appeared to be old one. They had also damaged the roof when they replaced the satellite dish for my television. Note that I had told them that I would call the company at the appropriate time to relocate. They "assured" me that they had done hundreds of moving and relocating them into the exact same spot.

As an aside, over the last, say, 25 years, I have lost a very important thing in life... Trust... I'll be talking about it later in more detail. Let me just say that, after that, I had little trust...

After having done attempts to repair what damage was left by the first crew, the satellite finally had come through underneath and I was getting water damage to the wall and ceiling in my bedroom. I knew I had to act.

It was suggested that I look at a tin/metal roof. I had no preference at that time, but since the suggestion came from my niece, who will inherit the cabin, I started looking.

My caretaker brought a slick brochure picked up at the local county fair...It looked good; I contacted them. No response. I called Lowe's; they were efficient in the contact, but only did shingles...

I had put in a general online search for metal roofers. Several contacted me. I scheduled an onsite review with the first. Two other individuals were there for the first meeting. Their primary jobs were for shingle. The company could not deal with metal until at least March because they only had two crews for metal; however, he said he would do an estimate for both types and send to me via email. I never got it.

"Genius" was the next contact. I scheduled a meeting. My caretaker was late but was there during his presentation. Interestingly, I watched as a drone was used over my roof to gather data. The name of the company is more than I'm using; however, I remember thinking of DT* and his words, I alone can do this or that... I should have listened to my first thought for a company who includes genius in their company name... 

As I said earlier, and look back, I think of that old-time slick salesman... 

Zach came and presented an excellent presentation, show and tell… Steve was there for the latter part of the part of it. The on-line show presented his company and what they did and would do, of course...

One of the issues that was discussed was the damaged part—that the satellite had come down through the roof and that the water damage had extended on the roof and down below the roof. I was told that it would be taken down to the base, each part of the roof would be checked and a tarp would be used to catch the old roofing material, plus a metal detector would be used thereafter to ensure that all nails were picked up…There was no indication that the part underneath the roof, damaged by water could not be done.

Then we talked about cost. It could be just about the cost of double of what I had saved, which was $16,000. There was discussion about financing. I was told that the company had a special arrangement with a good/better cost…8% which would come out to about a $308 payment for 3 years. I agreed to finance the remaining cost of the project and was presented with an agreement seeking financial approval. Several places were initialed and one signature... 

I need to stop for clarity to provide MY assumption of what was to happen next... Once I gained approval for funding, then the next step would be the actual planning of the project. 

During the financial discussion, we had talked about the possibility of finding something later that could change the cost beyond that which was estimated...He also rattled off a percentage deduction if I proceeded that day. My caretaker confirmed that he also had the same assumption. He has since pointed out to me things that he expected to be included in the project that were not done... Zach told me that I would be receiving a call from Lauren who would be working to finalize the details such as color, metal as the roofing material...

My background was as part of the leadership of the facilities planning and management of a leading land-grant university. That included ALL planning, including the architectural activity if the project was large enough to require that service, and the cost estimating, prior to actual beginning of the construction project. Only at the point of final approval of the planning specifications would the actual project begin... 

Then he wanted a copy of my deed. At that time, my mind went blank and I looked in the one place I would have it and it wasn’t there. He asked for a copy of my SS#. Again, my mind went blank. I had earlier purchased a condo and had never been asked for this type of information at that time. 

He wanted info on insurance and I explained about trying to finish the back wall before I applied. Telling him State Farm was my insurance; we got online and purchased the insurance based upon a base set of questions…So I now am insured. Which was a good thing.

However, the company would not finance without SS#. This I couldn’t quite understand… I was later told by Jason that they would never ask for the Social Security No. In any event, when I was being pressed for copies of my personal information, I had a chance to think through what I was being asked to provide, so I went to my bank. Within 15 minutes, I had the money in my checking account… 

At that time, I was told that I could have a short term loan and he quoted the exact same dollar figures that Zack had. In other words, it was NO special cost savings…and I could have gone immediately to my own bank for financing. I was lied to, in my opinion…and wondered if they get a kickback for business referrals… Why else immediately talk about funding through a special company?

But what actually happened during that meeting got much worse--in fact, ugly...later...

I was told that Lauren would be contacting me. When she left a message, she referred to my “shingles” and what color I wanted… That was the first mistake. When I got back to Zack to tell him I would be paying cash, I also told him that Lauren had referred to shingles rather than metal...

When I got back to Lauren, she had been corrected, I am sure by Zack. She then proceeded to want to schedule the next day. I said that was for measuring the roof, right? She laughed, oh no, we do that another way. I was told the project would be started on Tuesday! 

Yes, in the funding discussion, I had given a check as part of upfront payment for materials (which I had done before for the first roofer. you know, that guy who at least listened to what I wanted done as part of the project, but never did)... Fool me once, sorry to say, the second time was My Bad!

I got a call from a Walter who told me that they would be here around the break of day, whatever time that might be. So I was up and waiting. I assumed he was the project manager for the roof... Another assumption...I was now certainly the ass in Assume means making an ass out of YOU and Me... The thing is, nothing that they did was ever acknowledged...

Soon in rolled a man from a garbage company. I went out to meet him and asked him if he had been told where it should go for staging the project. His reply, “They don’t tell me nuttin’” I replied, "I know exactly what you mean." The garbage bin was placed on the parking area side of the cabin, in front of the living room. At that point, I was really beginning to be frustrated, upset, because I didn't know what was going on! And, it seemed, that many of the people with whom I was talking to didn't either...especially when the crew showed up!

I waited and waited…Finally, I went in and did an entire blog post for Election Day. That post was published at 9:07 AM, well after daybreak. I heard my phone ring which I had left in the living room. I was still on the computer. A man was leaving as I tried to hurry with mobility issues, and opened the door which had been left slightly opened… He claimed he had knocked, so I immediately wondered why I didn't hear that since I heard the telephone... He came back and said he was Walter, the project manager. That the crew had been called to another project. That he would be back to meet the crew and start them off. Nothing further was explained...of anything, by anybody... 

I have text messages which included, for instance, how payments would be required to be paid...Never got a response...

I told Walter, I could go ahead to vote and get my meds then and referred to seeing him later… He said he had knocked, but the knock should have been as loud as my phone ringing, right? Anyway, he didn’t give me a card, I had to ask him his name and said something about my older sister dating a Walter, so I would remember his name. 

I never saw him again. And, yes, I had later told the company I refused to work with a liar...

When I returned home, there was a truck there. The guy introduced himself as he was heading for the roof  and said he was here to do measurements… (note that I was told there would be nobody doing that)… Also, Walter did not tell me that this would happen, possibly while I was gone…That unnamed man left without any further contact. But I was feeling that my assumption of getting into the details of the project was actually beginning... NOT!

Later Walter called, because I had called Zach asking where he was. He told me he said he would try…and I immediately stopped him and said, no, you told me you would be here to start the team off. He never mentioned that there would be a language barrier. He never mentioned anything about Covid. He just started arguing with me and I argued back, getting angry. Who was he to be arguing with me, the client?!

So a group of guys started coming in. The first one I saw, I called from the door and he came over. I asked him if Walter was here yet. He just looked at me. He had a plate of food in his hands. I looked down, pointed, said eat…Go! He grinned and left and the rest of the crew came with their lunches and ate… First, I had no problem with their being, perhaps, Mexican... I did have a problem with not being able to communicate!

Once again, the company had failed me. I had already scheduled the Direct TV to come in at somewhere around noon, based upon a supposed starting daybreak time. The Direct TV should be congratulated for helping me through this crisis--more on them later... However, because the roof was to be worked on, the representative told me to tell them to be careful not to touch or move it in any way...

At that time I was still awaiting Walter... I had no idea what this group of men were going to do. Were they going to review the roof, specifying what needed to be done? Nevertheless, I knew they were going up on the roof. I pointed once to the NEW SATELITTE. AND SAID "DO NOT TOUCH."  I was speaking to one who seemed to have a little English. After he shook his head nodding up and down. I then pointed to the damaged part. "Be careful, don't fall through." pointing downward. As he was going up the rest of the ladder, he pointed toward the other side, pointing downward to the rest of the men. From that gesture, I assumed he had understood...the last part... Only later finding he didn't understand about the new placement.  

Adding bin and non-speaking crew, I knew my assumption was leaving me once Ass. For shortly, all four of them were ripping the old shingles off! At that point I gave was underway! The crew was hardworking and friendly. They were not the problem. The white man who failed both me and the crew was the problem!

Again, the men themselves were good workers, I could see their work in action. Speedy…except that they never put down the tarp, and was throwing things from the roof, sometimes hitting the bin, most of the time not. Asbesbos popped into my mind! Would that first layer possibly be a danger to them? Were they told about the possibility when I had explained that we were firmly sure than the first roofers simply laid new shingles down over the earlier roof? There was no way that I could bring that discussion up through sign language!

Steve was watching from across the yard, he saw the hole and the size. He continued to watch and try to point to issues through the day, but admitted he wasn't too successful. When I heard the work was in the damaged area, I decided that I had to go see what was happening.

Since there was nobody dealing with the crew, I got both canes and struggled out of the door, where the ladder to the roof was now partially covering. got around the cabin and had to try to negotiate the ups and downs of the ground to get far enough back to see what was happening. For those who do not already know it from previous posts, I had a complete left hip replacement just months ago! Zack was aware of my mobility problems as he had mentioned that I should take my time... but, apparently, did not think that was an issue that should be shared with others...

One of the guys saw me, I think it was the one that could understand a little. He glanced up, saw me, pointed down… “Plywood BAD.” I yelled "I warned them" and told him to "call supervisor." He must have understood since I saw him get his cell out, and go off toward the other side of the roof.

Steve later reported that he saw the guy return with plywood, so I was somewhat relieved… But I had thought they were almost done with taking the roof off, but now there was a lot of pounding… Steve told me they would be putting on the first layer before they finished so covering would be there for the night. Of course, there was nobody to actually go up and check the job right after the damage was supposedly handled…nor to “accept” the job being adequately done.

I was furious! Not only was there no planning done. I remember that Zach had never even took notes of what Steve and I were detailing to him. This was the most important part of the project to me and it was now totally covered, except for the few additional concerns we wanted addressed while doing a major replacement/repair project. None of those issues were handled. And we certainly were never told by Zach, who apparently was "the planner for the company." ??? I had no idea what to do at this point.

But I was quickly feeling like I once again had been screwed royally...or should I call it for how I felt. I was raped... everything had happened without my approval...

Except that I was later being told that they had my approval!!!!!!!!

The guys started cleaning up, one came to the door and knocked. He was drinking Gatorade or something like that. Stuck out his hands and said water. I was NOT going to let him in. And I COULD NOT CARRY sufficient water to him… I took one of the large containers of hand cleaner I had from during COVID. He realized what it was, started cleaning and I went back and got paper towels…I told him to take the bottle/towels… “Take” and gestured away from the house. That was the first time I began to realize that not one thing was discussed about Covid precautions. For it was obvious that, by merely coming to the door, he was near me, both of us without a mask. Although I have been fully vaccinated to the max, I still wore a mask when leaving my home...

They left for the day about 5. Steve came in and he watched the clock while sitting here and said 5 on the dot…

In the meantime, Walter said that I had hung up on him.

Justin, also a project manager called and introduced himself and asked me to tell what happened. He noted that Walter said I had hung up on him. I told him that, no, I did not just hang up on him…and then told him that he had lied and tried to say that he told me that he would be back if he could make it. I told Justin that I had stopped him and told him what I had said, "No, you told me you would be back to get the crew started" …and he started arguing. So, I said, I cannot deal with you anymore, I am going to hang up…THEN I did.

Justin proved to be a knowledgeable manager and went through my concerns. He showed up the next morning and introduced himself. I smiled and said so you decided to come yourself. He said Yes… At no time did he talk about the scope of his involvement. Nor, in fact, that the project would be in stages and that each stage would be a different crew with a different manager… In fact, I was later to comment to Zach that nobody seemed to have considered me in the equation… and what I wanted the project to include!

During my first conversation with Justin, I explained that I had ttold “somebody” that I would be scheduling the satellite. We agreed that if they didn’t come before project started, they would take the satellite down and set it aside. However, the ONLY day I could get somebody scheduled in without weeks of waiting, was that same day, Tuesday, the 8th.

A man came from Hughes. I explained the issue, that the satellite had come through the roof and had to be removed before repair. I then sought to have the relocation to the hillside… and talked about the higher part of the hillside. He said we can’t do that and explained the issues. I said I was told that a pole could be used. Note: I got the impression that they are hiring extra staff to deal with need. He suggested that the satellite be put on the chimney. I registered surprise, thinking to myself that the bricks didn’t look good… So, after a while, I followed him out and he was testing the site. It was clear that the signal was strong, and probably was a good location. I agreed to placement there. He cautioned quickly that if the roofers didn’t anything to move it, it would mean another call back and charge. When I asked about payment, he looked surprised and said it would be billed…that’s when I wondered about his not being a full-time person, since I had been paying the men before, and even had been told that I would be paying the man and she couldn’t tell how much the pole might cost… I had left the tv on and as soon as it was connected, the tv came back on.

So, since the crew were tearing my roof apart, I was watching television...until it went out... I hurriedly, again, had to grab both canes and went out and yelled. The guy looked up, surprised. I pointed to the satellite, "No TV" He looked around, clearly didn't understand, and turned back to shrug his shoulders. Yeah, I've been doing a lot of that, I thought to myself. I looked and clearly the satellite had been pushed backward from the original position.  Steve went out later and said that not all slots for nails or screws or whatever they used, was filled in. I knew there was going to be trouble. The satellite was not touching the roof, but it was close. It had been pulled out of the connection. Later Steve went out, and saw that they were trying to move it, but it was too late and the men couldn’t understand much of what happened. And, of course, Walter had not come back for me to explain about the satellite relocation! Or to tell me what was going on!

At least twice it was implied that I was prejudiced about the crew. I was NOT nice as I explained it was not the crew themselves it was that I was not able to communicate with anybody!

On Wednesday, Justin showed up along with the next crew. He spent time with me. I asked about the removal phase and referred to my being told that each and every piece of wood base would be checked for durability. He explained t
hat the plywood had been replaced. And as we talked, I verified that the, I believe, layer of freeze control(?) was done. However, afterwards, I realized that nobody had actually confirmed the work of the crew. And unless pictures were taken and submitted to supervisors, there is NO documentation of what the roof looks like  underneath. 

At that time, I had assumed that Justin had merely taken over for the project manager. However, after Justin said that each stage was different and that he had nothing to do with the gutters, I, at that time, had to assume that there was NO ONE PROJECT SUPERVISOR. And that the major first stage had been totally done without project scope,  supervision or inspection... Once again, they made me feel like the Ass I apparently was being made of... I know I kept asking Justin about the first stage and he kept telling me that it was behind us and assured me that everything I was concerned about had been handled...

Except it was done by men who had, during that work, disrupted my TV, for the duration of the project...and also, unknown to me, until I finally took the time to check something on the computer and found that, when Steve checked, the wires had been cut! Surely whoever was working there could follow the lines and see that it was connected to the satellite on the hillside!??!

On the other hand, the second crew was just as efficient; however, a final part had not been delivered as scheduled and they had to wait, for a lengthy time. They stood around talking in front of my window, so I suggested, since there was no supervisor, that they go get something to drink...When they got that last part and installed it, they were gone before I could even get slowly up out of my chair and get to the door.

At that point, also, Tracey started asking for the contract, or the materials/estimate... I told her that I had been given one page copy of what was to be financed.

An email dated November 3rd was received. Here is that email:


Congratulations, you’ve been pre-qualified for credit for your project with Home Genius Exteriors - Pittsburgh. *

Below is a link to your account on the EmpowerPortal where you can:

  • Upload required documents securely
  • Track the progress of your financing application
  • Download an executed version of your Loan Agreement which includes a notice regarding our credit decision
  • Submit bank account information to setup automatic payments

Log into your EmpowerPortal

  • Your account username:
  • Your password: The password you created during registration. (If this is your first time accessing your account, you will be prompted to create a new password).

Should you have any questions about your financing application, please call Dividend Finance at (844) 572-7218.
If you have questions regarding the installation process, please contact your contractor.

We look forward to working with you!


The Dividend Team
* As with any financing, final approval is contingent upon our review of your completed application and satisfaction of all underwriting requirements.

By clicking the link and accessing Dividend Finance’s website, you are agreeing to the website Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. If you have any questions or concerns, or if this message was sent in error, please Contact Us.

Questions? Contact us at 844.805.7100 or
Dividend Finance, One California Street, Suite 1500, San Francisco, CA 94111

An email dated November 3rd was from Dividend related to creating password. As you can see by what was covered in the content, I was working with the financial part and working to secure funds in order to proceed. Later, Zack was informed that I would be paying cash, and later texted him that I now had the money in checking... 

I received no feedback and, at that time, prior to working with Lauren, I was still at the financial stage, ready to begin to finalize the planning and scope of the project...

But somehow, supposedly, I was told that I had signed a contract already...

By now I was asking Tracey to talk with Justin. I could hear her talking and told him that I needed to see what I had supposedly signed... Before I would proceed further.

Tracey got a copy and was sharing pieces of the contract, but Justin also brought a copy and I started to read.

I could not deal with the steady statement that I had signed a contract. He showed me the initials and signatures on the contract. I didn't sign them, I explained. I signed only related to gaining the needed funding for the project... The contract said shingles... The contract said that I had days by which I had a right to dispute what was presented...

I looked closely at the initials, they were not my entire initials and not on the line. I pointed that out, agreeing that I had signed the application for financial assistance, but that it was a couple of initials and one signature. I said that, this was clearly, in my opinion, copy pasted...into the contract...

Justin kept insisting that I would have read the contract as part of Zach's presentation. Can you imagine expecting an older person to read six pages of a contract, with some letters so small that I could barely read them (the clause of ability to pull out was in that smaller, nearly unreadable print size.)

I denied what Justin said...even though I felt he felt he was right...But I knew I was right as well. He then said that it would be illegal for me to not know about the contract and signed it... I agreed with that...

Then he started to discuss the fact that he was responsible for closing the project and receiving the check on the final day...which at that time was his part of the project, the metal roofing. I refused, and wrote to Zack... 

It is unimportant that some discussions occurred between Tracey and Justin, but it was clear that when she had received the copy and started to read it, she immediately had problems with its being signed...

For the record... For West Virginia University. I was responsible for the pre-planning staff's project scope, then it went into the architect's hands, either contract or inhouse... Then the financial management was again in my hands... I KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER SIGN A CONTRACT THAT HAD ERRORS! The copy that was sent to Tracey and me therefore apparently was a standard format, which had never been updated for my specific project??? or Some of it was updated??? Who knows! What I do know is that I was NOT asked to sit with Zack for the length of time it would take me to read...and discuss...the six page contract which I was now being told that I had signed and that I was legally responsible for!!!!!

As an aside, Tracey handled the calls to get my television and computer repairs done and their staff were exceptional not only in listening to my concerns, but in fulfilling all of my project requirements for both locations. 

By the time I received this financial packet, I had already changed funding arrangements. Indeed upon checking, there was a message that I no longer had access to that email connection. Since I had been offline after the 8th, I constantly was told that they send the client information and then "assume" if they don't hear anything that it is approved!!!!!

I was told that the bin was scheduled for Thursday. . It was not. Guess that guy was right… nobody tells/verified that the actual workers are also scheduled and told their part in the process. The men came for the bin on Saturday in pouring rain and had to put a cover on the bin, although I had mentioned that it should be covered.  At that time, the shingles were sticking up and over the sides and they had to work to relocate in order to put the cover on...

Saturday morning, I looked out and saw what appeared to be a new delivery. I gather though that with the trucks parked all over, I had not earlier seen it. There was a substantial amount of long wood…at least 12 (can verify number) there… There was also metal which I had assumed were the gutters trying to view it from my doorway and hoping I would not have to once again goes outside. Justin was on the phone and said that was impossible. That the gutters were made onsite. 

At some point, I looked out and saw metal roofing lying in the driveway... I was concerned enough, thinking that it would undoubtedly have some sharp edges, to once again go out and with one arm using my cane to help me walk, I picked up each of the sheets and dragged them out of the driveway and away from the garbage bin.

Now seems a good point to insert that, based upon my having to deal with the project because of lack of a stage supervisor, I have been forced backwards in my earlier improvement to just one cane, and had to use my walker in order to have the ability to walk, etc.

Bottom line, I had to go out and get close enough to actually see what the metal was. They were extra covers for the roof peaks… He told me they always overorder to ensure they have the materials. So I immediately said, then this is mine. It is well known, that in paying for that extra amount of materials, that it is "normally" taken away from the project site and then used for other projects, thus increasing the cost to each client and never actually paying for that overage estimate... by the company... unless you claim the overage materials as your own...

Justin at some point talked about his coming back to go over the site for anything left to deal with. At some point to somebody, I tried to make a joke about you city guys might call this scrap, but we country people have uses for a lot of this scrap… Rachel and I talked with the crew onsite and explained her work with furniture…We pulled out sheets of metal, etc., from the garbage…and after I hung up, I told Steve and Rachel we needed to move everything we wanted to keep. All of project materials that were either in the garbage to be tossed or that which would have been taken back by the company, were immediately moved away from the front area.

Later, Justin called to schedule about meeting for a final signoff. My response was disbelief, "We are no where near to signing off on this project. What about the gutters?" It was only then that I truly realized that there was no coordinator for all things for the project. Essentially, I was doing it! He explained that the gutters would be separate…And I got hyper admittedly, saying that we were far from closeout of the project. He calmly said that’s how we do it… And asked for a time to come the next day, Friday. I do not recall that I had told Justin I would see him Friday, although on Friday he said I had. The following is what I did after call with Justin.

I immediately sent off a nastygram to Zack who was the only other person I felt that knew about the entire project… I believe I still have that text. But, anyway, I told Zack I was unwilling to sign off on the roof, that there was apparently no overall supervisor except me and I knew that the gutter men could be on the roof, thus the possibility of even more damage done. At that point, It was at that time I had learned and reported that the wires had been cut by one or the other team, I didn't know which, but guessed the first.

At that point, I was still hoping to surprise my niece Tracey with seeing the new roof for the first time. But I knew that I could not continue dealing with this fiasco. I admitted that I could not make it through the rest of the project. Tracey and Wes came that day. During the time I was talking to them, getting the questions from them and their agreeing that it was indeed totally mismanaged, I was talking about another issue and went into some sort of physical reaction--my upper body was shaking from the stress. Pictures was later taken to verify what Tracey and Wes saw. On Wes’ inspection, he said he could tell that work had been done on the roof but that nothing had been done to correct the damage on the back wall.

Note: I believe this was partly a problem created by Hughes net. The wires to the connection and the satellite were left laying or low hanging across the back of the cabin. Steve has been careful, but with nobody to talk to, I never thought about trying to communicate that another satellite was also NOT to be messed with. My guess is that the first crew did it, but am not sure. 

After my nasty gram, Zack wrote back and said there is an overall manager, and here is his number!

I wrote back and said, so that at the nearly completed project, you expect ME to contact the man who should have contacted me as the first person I talked to.

From my standpoint, there had been a total disregard of keeping the client informed unless I initiated it, and except for one project supervisor who refused to even consider that I had never read or signed the contract. But even he didn’t provide a plan of action, except after the fact, which included that it was only after the fact that I learned that he was NOT the project manager of the total project.

On the day that I met with Zack, while he provided an excellent presentation, including listening attentively to the project issues, such as the damage. However, nothing other than a copy of my agreement was ever given to me. There was NOTHING to show any agreements made. Etc., in other words, I had given the go ahead, handed him a check for $12,000. And nothing more in writing. No plan of action. No confirmation of scope of project.

Since Justin told me that he was only responsible for his team/roofing, although he had earlier briefed me on the first stage of the project, I am positive that there was NO review of the work done in the first stage, after the shingle cover had been removed, which of course, was my major concern because the roof had been leaking and sinking…If I had had something to review for scope of project, I would have made sure that the total damage was included as I wanted!!!

Somewhere along the line, someone told me that the gutters would not go all around the building. My understanding was that, in approving $2000 for that work, which I now understand is not considered part of the project, per se., I had to ask why was I told that the gutters would go completely around the building. I remember the discussion because I referred to the fact that we had not yet installed the gutter in front, but had it available. I was then told that the size was different for metal roofs… And all gutters had to be replaced with a deeper cut. To date, since I have no idea when the gutters will be installed, I have not been able to confirm exactly where gutters will be placed, if they do not go all around the house per Zack. My assumption, which was not confirmed to me was wrong, was that the installers for the gutters would be on the roof working…and therefore closeout of stage 2 could not be done, in my opinion.

Additionally, I have never been provided complete information about how Hughes Net and Direct TV will be paid. If I have to pay them first, I believe that I should be able to make that a deduction of the final payment.

Payments, I have at least once brought up a question as to how billing will be handled, although Zack did cover the potential of change order(s) if they find something that would be a negotiated cost increase.

Re cost. At first, I was going to finance based upon the statement that it would be a lower rate told to me by Zack. The cost info, therefore, on the one page I got listed the amount, I assumed, that would be the financed amount. I have not at any time, been given a list/written statement of the breakdown of the costs, other than the added $2000 for the gutters with the safeguard that I approved.

By that time, I was into significant emotional trauma and could not deal with anything more. I asked help from Tracey and Wes.

In my opinion, no final payment should be requested until and at such time as Hughes Net and Direct TV can be scheduled. The lines to the satellite for Hughes were cut on either of the two days by crews onsite. the day of project beginning (with no supervisor onsite). I had been online immediately prior to actual beginning and KNOW the internet was functioning. The relocation of the TV satellite was scheduled based upon my being told that the crew would be starting at daybreak. The fact that this time was changed and included no supervisor to allow me to discuss the actions of Direct TV, change was made by the company and that the relocation of the TV satellite should have been done after the work, and assuming that a project manager had been there, and ensured that the work was done before that relocation is, in my opinion, the fault of the company. Therefore, not only the first cost, but also the second cost because of an inability to communicate with crew is also the responsibility of Genius… Why either team chose to cut the lines for the computer has no explanation, other than, again, lack of the ability for the building owner to discuss issues, such as this with a supervisor or at least the crew members. It should be noted that Direct TV had indicated that the only day they had available within weeks was on the 8th.

On Thursday, when Justin called asking for a signoff, I had JUST got done, having to pull two large pieces of the roof metal from my driveway. At that time, I also saw new materials and thought it was the gutters. So when Justin called, and he told me that the gutters would not start until I have signed off, I became agitated. I took the phone and cane and walked out what it was and described it to Justin. There was considerable new materials there. The trucks apparently closed the stack off from my vision. Once I knew that they were extras that routinely was purchased to ensure project could be done quickly, I then said that, then this material is mine. He said, if I wanted it, or something like that… Given that we were all aware of this overbuy, I did not intend to have company take it away. We had already talked to the second crew and when we saw materials being thrown out, we started to take it out.

One other thing during that discussion, Justin said that the only thing scheduled for Thursday was the bin removal. It was not removed.

It was Saturday before the bin was picked up. They were upset that they had to use a cover from their truck…and that the materials were hanging over the bin (shingles) so that, in that hard rain we were having, they had to work to tucks shingles in. I explained I had already commented about there not being a bin cover to the company…As everybody should know now, all of the roof metal had already been pulled aside for retention.

The project began on Election Day, I had been following the election carefully, even blogging about it. I lost 5 days of television and feel I should have a cost reduction for that lost time. For the computer, which will hopefully be fixed Wednesday, I will have lost 8 days. I am behind at least 3 or 4 days of book reviews due to the loss of the Internet. It is extremely hard to wait that long before a book review then writers the review immediately after reading it. I will be behind for days given the unexpected loss of the Internet. As mentioned earlier, I had published my latest blog article the morning of the 8th, waiting for the team which were to be here by daybreak. Therefore, the cut of the line was clearly done after that. And, given that I was trying to handle the fact that there was no onsite supervisor for me to review everything, I asked my caretaker to stay until they left. I had to pay him, in essence, to ensure that the damage was discovered, and that they actually got new plywood to replace it. Because of his expertise of what was actually happening, he was able to point and attempt to comment as much as possible. But it was only when I walked outside myself and looked up, that a man pointed…and I yelled up to call supervisor!

There has also been quite a bit of consternation on delivery of materials. I’VE RECEIVED THE COMMENT THAT NOBODY TOLD DRIVERS ABOUT THE PROJECT SITE AND WHAT WAS NEEDED TO GET INTO THE SITE. SURELY(?) a site plan was shared???

Finally, absolutely NO comment was ever covered re Covid… At least two of the Mexican crew came to my door, stood close (I had my mask on). Direct TV on the other hand, texted their policy on Covid along with their confirmation…

Finally, My niece told Justin that I was upset that I have received nothing in writing. He said that they sent email…I have NO idea if that happened, or what was sent…NOTHING is NOTHING when a crew cuts off email!!!

And no job is finished when it's been done badly from the start. On the last part of the job, using a different crew, the problems never stopped. The truck was, again, not informed of the site issues. Major ground damage was done (and left, of course) when the equipment truck tried to get into my driveway. My caretaker was there and could not get out of the driveway, so tried to help in getting the truck backed out. The gutters are cut onsite, I had been told, and the crew proceeded... Nobody approached my door to introduce the crew/supervisor. Indeed the entire process I saw no supervisor and the last contact from the company, came after dark and definitely could not check to see the job was done properly.

It was clear that our initial concern that wood be replaced as needed was not followed...So now I have a nice roof with an old bee-infested board immediately under that roof. Also, a part of the gutter was installed backwards... and, of course, the crew had left without any contact whatsoever. I had expected Jason or somebody there to receive final payment.

Finally, in my opinion, it is quite obviously that any type of client profile was not developed. Zack was aware that I was semi-disabled at this time. It was obvious that it was expected that I would be able to deal with the crew in lieu of an onsite supervisor… How else could the client know what was happening if nobody could speak English… Additionally, every single delivery presented problems for entering onto the site. THIS IS PART OF THE PLANNING PROCESS!!! The last crew did considerable damage to the grounds near the roadway. It was quite obvious as I talked to these people that "nobody tells us nuttin'"

And finally, when I was once again online, I looked for the emails that supposedly had been sent... There were none other than those coming from the financial group dealing with financial approval. 

What I know… after dealing with about 10-15 years of this type of construction people is that they have a mindset that they know everything and just let them be… that when that happens, problems arise. Each project requires a unique planning process that deals with the owner of the property, the issues that individual wanted to have addressed, and an assurance that the job was being done properly. So, I have a question to readers. How would you feel to have a brand new roof, with damaged areas which needed to be addressed not attended to, and a facing board that was left? Plus a part of the last phase not correctly done? 

I have had PTSD flashbacks through the entire week…and find that ALL project staff proved to me that they knew absolutely nothing about communication and project planning (which was my part of the job) prior to construction!

Forgive me for such a lengthy post, but I needed to get a chronology completed, before deciding whether to sue the company and/or report them to the Better Business Bureau. I may have also duplicated some things...know that I appreciate your partricipating again, with me on Book Readers Heaven...

Next, I will be using this project to explore the three issues that I believe are being forgotten, or more likely, ignored, by companies in this chaotic world, where companies proceed to act, once they see the green is available... and easily forget about the old slogan, The Customer is Always Right...

A final note, I am very happy with the exterior vision of my new roof...but at what cost to my own emotional stability... 

What I know is that this is just one more time that it has been proven to me that there is no way to trust anymore... 

Thankfully, I can turn to the one friend I can always know is with me...and wants the best for me...

And let's work together to figure out how to protect ourselves from those who dictate what we want, and lie to us, or trick us... never admitting that mistakes have been made...or trying to blame US for them!

God Bless,