By Jeanne R. Kraus
Diana R. Arneson
Somehow with retirement, I've developed more of a sense of humor than I ever had, especially about myself! So it was a fun, easy choice for me to accept Wrinkles, Waistlines, and Wet Pants by Jeanne R Kraus to read and review. Her sister Diana R. Arneson provided cartoons to complement the book and added greatly to its enjoyment. I warn you though, if you're not yet at the point where you are ready to laugh at your life--you just might wind up crying. Forewarning complete!
The author asks that we keep in mind:
Your outward body is showing signs of wear and tear.
Inside, you are probably rhe same fool you always were.
The difference is that now you don't have to care. (p. 3)
Kraus begins talking first about dignity, asking "What's That?" And then proceeds to share her own story of slowly losing hers--through no fault of her own! Noting that this loss begins during child-bearing years and continues on with mammograms. She admits to trying to sound cool--"Read any good boobs lately?"(p.7); but not many medical staff have participated or assisted in her attempts at nonchalance.
Then Kraus tells us not to even try staying healthy. For instance, going to the doctor, she notes that by the time that we have filled out the medical record form that's required, only to not have it used by the doctor/nurse who attends us, she thought she would solve this problem for the next time so she created a doctor visit organizer to "attach" to the form. Now she had really done it, she had saved time for herself, but, by being efficient, had ruined the entire day's schedule. They were not happy--until they decided to keep her waiting for the half-hour she should have used to complete the form!
Noting that her ob-gyn had grown old like with her, Jeanne points out that he reminded her of Old Tim Conway as he shuffles into the exam room while Jeanne climbs onto the exam table...Well, you can imagine what Jeanne has to share after that!
And then there is the times when you compare with your mother (or sister or best friend) about being dizzy, sometimes falling and then having to figure out how to get up from the floor...
Let's not even go to the issue of "wet pants!" But she did give a helpful happy tip... singing "Gotta Pee" to the tune of the Willian Tell Overture...Try it, you'll realize how gratifying it is to finally get to the bathroom...
And then, she started sharing about going out to eat. Did you know that they now measure waistlines to ensure you are placed at the right table--thus avoiding the embarrassing possibility of getting stuck in a booth?
Of course, every discussion about what is happening to us ultimately includes a decision to begin an exercise regime--and then finding a trainer who is willing to put up with her idea of the program to be used!
Realizing that our memory is not as good as it once was is one of the things that isn't funny to me, I don't think--perhaps because it is the one thing I fear the most? Krause notes that we will all have memories, though, of those annoying things from childhood! "Itsy, bitsy, spider, went up the water spout...Down--well, you know the words, don't you?
Finally, she really got into the good stuff--that's when she and the Bunco Babes go out for the evening! Now, I really could get into some of those preparations--like, "bring your own toilet paper, don't eat the food", just feast your eyes on the men...(p. 177) BTW, that's at Abigail's Bar on Tuesday nights and don't forget to take lots of dollar bills...
Krause ends her book by looking back to childhood for those of us who are baby boomers. Yes, I enjoyed those memories along with her! In fact, I enjoyed the entire book and had my cat coming around to find out what was wrong whenever I LOL'd!
Want to have a book handy when you're singing the WT Overture? Add Wrinkles, Waistlines, and Wet Pants by Jeanne R. Kraus as a part of your permanent bathroom library...then, when you laugh, and pee, it won't be so bad...
You're goin' love this one!
Book Obtained Via
G. A. Bixler