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Showing posts with label Personal Memoir. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal Memoir. Show all posts
You know Folks, when any one person has a birthday that means that another decade is being passed, it's a bit traumatic, right?
But hey, we all face the same situation. Some just get more decades than others... Me, I was older than my father when I was born... He had been killed in an accident the year before and while my mother was carrying me... My Mother? I'm now older than my mother was when she died...
But you know what? I never thought that I would come into a time of war as I was born... and it "might" be a time of war when I die... especially after I've learned about, if true, what the Secretary of War is telling the troops... More on that once I set the stage...
So I thought I would take the time to point out that It is Sooooo Sweet to Trust in Jesus... because if what they are claiming is true, it really doesn't matter for me.... But I've been through this gaslighting before... It was back--way back--when I read a book called The Late Great Planet Earth that claimed that the end of the world is near--even giving a specific date! Well, I was a young Christian at that point, reading a lot of religious books beyond the Bible that were written by people who had gained a name in that genre of books... My thought at that time was that I'd be gone before it happened... Because of course at that time, the preachers said that all God's children would be taken up to be with him before all that great even was to happen...
How silly I was then... because of course, the date came and went by and not even a newscaster talked about the foretold date... But I had never discussed the book with anybody, so nothing gained, nothing lost??? As I look back, I'm fairly sure by that event, I was already beginning to question just what God and this religion named after Jesus Christ was all about...
On the other hand, for another decade, tomorrow, God has been with me, in more ways than I could ever have imagined back when I was reading Hal Lindsey in the 1970s. So, why all the doom and gloom, it may seem, to be talking about the end of the world--or any of the other names that have been used to declare that doomsday prophecies that have come about whenever something happens that brings fear to those who may find they are not looking forward to what happens after death... Me, I have never felt that I was living only and/or because of heaven and everlasting life. As you all know, I'm kinda of a realistic type of person. When a word means something, I might doublecheck how it's being used, but I'll normally go with and accept the proper definition...
So, of course, when I talk about it's being my birthday and I'm alone except for my cats, who really don't know how to sing a song for me... LOL... I roamed through YouTube just to see what type of celebration video I could add... And was surprised when the following was staring back at me...
For the first time today, I smiled and then I started laughing...
This video is one of the worst pieces of garbage that has ever been created...
Certainly I would not be using such a defective set of words
And certainly God was not involved in any part of this creation...
You see, God is a Living God and has created us to be a part of Him... Each of Us!
What we do after that took place was totally up to us...
In the case of this birthday wishes video above... Garbage In; Garbage Out!
We all have choices to do anything we want...
Take a look at the variety of books just found at Book Readers Heaven... and consider that the variety, the volume, the words used, are monumentally larger than the thousands of books you will find here today...
And there are millions and millions of people, each of whom has their own life story... who plays some part in a universe of possibility... We can look forward to Peace, for Instance...
Something that I've been singing about my entire life...
And it's still not here, except as developed within by having opened ourselves to the Great I Am...
And His Touch...
So, with that background, I'm ready to proceed to share the latest....
Frank, son of an evangelical christian evangelist, left Christianity and began speaking out about what was being planned through support of Donald Trump--Christian Nationalist religion leaders are now preaching and opening new churches. BTW, to my memory, this video reveals more anger at what is going on than I've ever seen.
I am including the next two videos although they may not be true... Still, even if not true, these videos were both on the first page when I opened the site. As you all know, I've been very concerned about the use of Christianity as a tool of manipulation as it relates to political choices, including eletions, based upon the newly created "Christian Nationalist" religion... Still, even though it has not reached the normal news sites, we must be prepared and know that the type of lies that are spread by this administration can move like a wildfire... and then be believed as coming directly... from... Trump... Who, of course, they believe has been appointed by God... What a nightmare scenario of existence...
How about this: Genie’s easygoing intelligence and friendly, unpretentious, graceful kindness always makes her an instant hit with the wisest, most empathetic people. And Genie is my wife, lover, and best friend.
If I’d “repented” and rejoined the fold, we could have used the well-tried model of Christian-leader-screws-up-blames-Satan-repents, then is “called” back to a GOD CASH “ministry.”
I first met Frank Schaeffer on Facebook, when I was there the First Time which lasted about 15+ years. Then I've followed him on YouTube since... His commentaries are always timely, so this latest one on Tucker would not have been known to me and many of us who do not follow "conservative news." We've learned from Fox News what that normally includes--Lies!
Shaeffer has been stead-fast, as with many others, who saw DJT as the man he was right from the beginning... I had finally found somebody who I knew I could trust... Why? because one of the first videos I listened to was his accounting of what occurred at a meeting with evangelical christians related to Trump. Yes, he and his father was there... Soon thereafter, he chose to break away from religion, while continuing to pray and recognize God as part of his life. He says it many other ways, but I saw through his protestations as a cover of his shame in what was being planned...
Since then, whenever I catch his videos, I save them as favorites automatically, knowing that there will be a time when I want to hear his opinion. I don't recall a time when, after listening to the entire video, that I have not agreed with his opinion and/or learned from it. But I never had really gotten to know Frank, the man--the man who daily lived, seemingly for his family and for speaking truth... Learning he babysat daily was an interesting "plus" for this man who had rejected religion without rejecting God's love... So, when he started talking about his latest book, which he was going to give away free on YouTube, I went ahead and bought it to start reading...
The book is written in shorts--as is his videos... Thus you can read a day's writing, or you can continue to read based upon a topic being covered. I found this was a convenient way to also keep reading other books to keep my blog readers busy. LOL It took me longer to read the entire book, but I believe breaking it down to easily come back provided an opportunity to better digest and learn from what was being said...
The basic premise is to Find the joy and happiness in your life through Love... His use of his companion, Zip, to spotlight his message was delightful, but when you read it, you will find that it is, more, a memoir, of his life with his family. Beginning with the time he was still involved with his family's "cult" as he now calls it... which, fully stated, was a "cult of male domination..."
Having never know a father, I found Frank Schaeffer's story to be a compelling one. To be able to find his true love and continue to live a life you'd learned from your family, and begin to see what really loving a woman and a family calls for, is a unique experience from a man who, late in his life, has become willing to share a story which, in my opinion, should be read by every male now alive. The contrast of what is being taught through christian nationalism is so far different that readers will immediately know that Frank is a man you can know and trust. In his family life, he may have his personal opinions, but he would never, after many years, attempt to become the dominant figure of the family--that was never intended. He shares his life with his wife as his primary soulmate we have always heard about... But many never really believed it... Read his story to learn.
His Latest Video... - Re Hate, of Any Kind...
And predictability is what my parents stripped their children of by volunteering us into an “open home” where we had to save our “guests” for Jesus, as they wandered around stoned, awake at all hours, or sometimes threatening suicide during a “bad drug trip.” An animal, be it a human animal child or a dog like Zip, who doesn’t know when the food will appear or what other animal (or mentally deranged human) will wander in, can discern no consistent schedule and so experiences constant distress. That is never what happens to Zip, let alone to my grandchildren I do childcare for, but describes my three sisters’ and my childhood in a nutshell.
Zip doesn’t read but teaches everyone around him by brilliant, generous, and kind example. If Zip could read and write, here’s what Zip might say:
There are no small moments! There is just the time you have— right now! Life is not about some “big plan!”
Your life is about how you interact with others! The “important” meeting you’ll go to is no more significant than the extra moment you spend talking to the woman delivering a package.
ALONE IS BAD! TOGETHER IS GOOD! CONNECT! Alienation and isolation, distrust and disconnection from others never end well. Bluntly: evolution wants lonely people dead. The surgeon general said so.
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an urgent warning about the epidemic of loneliness and social isolation. He said “Loneliness and social isolation increase the risk for premature death by 26% and 29% respectively … lacking social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. … Poor or insufficient social connection is associated with increased risk of disease, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of Stroke. Furthermore is associated with increased risk for anxiety, depression and dementia.”
These days when I hug Genie while we’re standing in the kitchen, in hallways, bedrooms, or on a walk with Zip, my arms wrapped around her tightly, my hands clasped behind her back, Genie makes the most comfortable sighing mmmm sound. This happiest of all sounds of deep contentment makes me feel deliriously joyful.
~~~
Zip leads the family in their acceptance of friendliness and joy, as, whenever the mail comes, and he hears the mail being delivered, Zip runs from wherever he is to say Hi! Barking to say hello to Elena, he will wait to have Frank open the door so they can visit! Everybody in the neighborhood knows Elena and comes out, even if they have a Trump sign in their yard. He is friendly to his neighbors and goes to the local Hispanic church, participating as a leader... It's nice to know that friendliness can override the hate of this administration...
Classical tapes play in the background of Genie's work area, or even children's stories when babysitting occurs. But, it has to be known that this couple also acquired every 1960s rock album made...
By age 6, granddaughter Nora could sing all the songs from two of the albums by the Beatles! LOL
Soon readers will begin to relax and enjoy how this family lives--together always--but in such a friendly environment that you'll begin to feel the "vibe" of living and loving... But Frank admits it took him longer to find the "bliss..."
Isolating someone from friends and family is the hallmark of a controlling abuser. In the earlier days of our marriage, Genie had to travel to visit her family and friends because I denied her the pleasure of hosting family and friends in our home. My anti-visitor phobia took longer to get over than anything else. Get over are the wrong words to describe what happened. I should rather say: I took longer to learn to behave differently. I still regard visitors as intruders. I still love a shut door. The difference is, the older version of me welcomes guests and family these days, for Genie’s sake. My coping and changing behavior was only possible when I learned to separate feelings (unreliable) from actions (measurable). I learned Genie and I did not live in my house but in our home. I learned that life with Genie was not about finding myself, but about finding ourselves. I learned that how I act could (eventually with enough brain-changing repetition) become who I am. I learned that being “happy” all the time isn’t what life is about. I learned to stop excusing my shitty behavior as a reaction to the way my parents trashed our home’s privacy and take responsibility for how I was behaving.
Now, you might question how long that actually took, so I can only say that this was on page 54 and there was still 300 pages to read... I'd say that's a statement that you can go with, especially since, I have to confess, I'm like Frank... I've always been an introvert who enjoys books behind a closed door, more than "some people..." especially right now seeing the hate and violence... Still, there is always time to keep learning... Schaeffer's admissions allow each of us to keep trying...
But there is no doubt about it, Zip has played a major part in changing the public figure of Frank Schaeffer! Cats do that for me--but then I never had a childhood like Frank had...
Why do I interrupt my writing for Zip? Maybe he fulfills a physiological need. As Jessica Pierce says, biologists have discovered physiological explanations for why we enjoy touching and being touched by our dogs. Sensory neurons are found in mammals, including in us. These neurons stimulate the release of the hormone oxytocin when we pet dogs. And oxytocin plays an important role in bonding, trust, and wound-healing. And Pierce says we shouldn’t underestimate how much can be communicated between dogs and humans. Besides holding or petting them we also communicate well with dogs. Pierce writes, “It is how somebody says the words, or when, or with what look in their eye that tells us what we really need to know. They talk with their ears, eyes, face, and body.” Dogs speak to us the same way. They know to follow a pointing finger, and they follow the direction of our gaze. They can make inferences about the reliability of the human giving the cues, responding more consistently to reliable human sources they trust. Pierce writes, “Researchers believe that dogs evolved their vocal repertoire to facilitate communication with us. And we are actually quite adept at reading their signals, too. For example, humans are good at accurately interpreting dog emotions by quality of barks.” And just as dogs follow our gaze they seem to expect us to follow theirs.[21] So I know what Zip needs, and he “reads” me too. That paw on my wrist as I type says, “SEE ME.” I like being seen too. I like Zip’s healing touch. When Zip looks up at me and I hold his gaze, he is communicating. It is not a stretch to say he is saying, I love you. And Zip has made me into a kinder person. Pierce says “a correlation between positive relationships with pets and the development of humane attitudes toward animals in general, as well as the expansion of empathy for other people.” A study found that, in preschool children, empathy for animals is correlated with empathy toward other schoolchildren. Children with strongest bonds to animals showed the highest empathy scores.[22] In our home there is no question that Zip sets a “tone” of caring. He softens the mood. Being with Zip all day puts Genie and me into a certain frame of mind that can be described as cheerful kindness.
Readers will find that Schaeffer is also well read and there will be references documenting the basis upon which he writes--including a list of footnotes in the print copy I have... Do enjoy reading this book. It's free if you wish...below... or if you wish to support this writer's ongoing commitment to helping our world be retained as a democracy... it can be found on Amazon...
I found this book on the Reviewers Roundup Wall at Facebook. I studied the cover carefully. It was unique and I love Unique! I could even tell somewhat about what the book would be about. I didn't read a book description or anything else. I bought it based upon the cover... and those strange little dots and dashes that began on the cover and continued throughout the book. I was hooked immediately.
-... ....-
I once lived in a nice neighborhood in the northern part of Seattle. I was born and raised in that area, but my family moved to a different part of the city which fundamentally altered my life. I attended an expensive private school that didn’t offer sexual education. I was an honors student with straight A’s and brought up Catholic through the influence of my maternal grandparents. In October of 2000, I was accepted to read at Northwest Bookfest, but I attended the Ambaum Recovery Center for inpatient treatment instead. My admission was for using marijuana, which started socially during lunchtime with the kids at my school as I entered my junior year. I toughened up and expeditiously adapted to having no privacy. I learned a lot during my stay as multiple boys grabbed my crotch under the table. One of them was kicked out for it because I couldn’t stop myself from crying hysterically.
When I could get the words out of my mouth to tell the counselor what he’d done to me, they removed him from the premises. I had a roommate named Shauna who had a petite build and curly brown hair. She showed me “the ropes,” as she referred to them. I implored the staff to let me go home if there was any way possible, but there wasn’t. I committed to waiting out my thirty days instead of walking out as I’d watched others do since my arrival, going against medical advice. In mid-November, a girl named Bunny, who I’d become close friends with, used my gel pens to draw the word Bunny in bubble lettering on the blue cover of my Alcoholics Anonymous book. She jotted down her number inside and said she wanted to get together with me. The morning of my release was referred to as a wake-up in the facility. Bunny hugged me and exclaimed, “hit me up on the outs!” I couldn’t have been any happier to be free of that place. We’d used the A.A. books within the center to write to each other when parting, much like yearbooks. The nickname “Lil Bunny” was something we had called each other while in treatment, and it ended up sticking, as she’d later become one of my best friends. Upon discharge, I was transferred to Ambaum continuing care drug and alcohol center in Ballinger for outpatient treatment...
On January 2, 2001, I first met Howie in the outpatient program we mutually attended. The walls of the room were covered in our collage projects for sobriety. The teenagers present took turns giving short introductions about themselves and explaining their artwork. When Howie had his turn to share, he started by saying that he’d had a severe substance abuse problem. He confirmed that his drugs of choice were weed, alcohol, and mushrooms while sitting directly across the long table lengthwise. He had a tremendously confident expression as we held eye contact. I found that his gaze was impossible to break as we stared at each other for a seemingly ridiculous length of time. The fluorescent light fixtures were buzzing above, and it was suddenly as if no one else was in the room but us. Howie stood and held up his project, which had just a few carelessly cut images glued onto the paper. I was fixated on him the whole time he spoke as our eyes stayed locked for the entire time. It was the first day that my mother had let me take her vehicle by myself because I’d just received my driver’s license. It was January 3, 2001, and it was also the initial instance that I dropped Howie off at his house in Seattle. After the group session, some of us had decided to go to Denny’s, the local diner just down the street. Jay would often take the bus from the south end and attend meetings at the EDL, where I’d met him. I suggested that he meet me after treatment, as he did not participate in Ambaum. He’d taken the bus to Blue Diamond Village to meet with both me and my group of friends from treatment. I invited Jay to tag along as a passenger in my parent’s vehicle with my other friends Bunny, Howie, Matheson, and Michael. I let him know that I could either meet him there or that I’d come back and get him. I called him out on being bonkers when he said he wouldn’t mind riding in the trunk as he jumped in and closed it on himself. He’d spared me the extra trip because there wasn’t enough seating in my parent’s vehicle, but the curb had been higher than I’d anticipated as I’d come around the curve into the parking lot at Denny’s. I was fretful as I stopped the vehicle and discovered that the rear passenger tire was flat. All I could think about was if he was all right in the back. I was very relieved when I pulled into the parking space, and he got out and doubled over with laughter at my reaction. I knew that my mother would give me a hard time about the tire later, so at the urging of my friends, I resolved to try and enjoy the restaurant. We went into Denny’s and chain-smoked in the booth section with the patterned sheet metal wall next to the fifties style barstool area. We ordered glasses of soda with strawberry dessert chunks in them and sucked them through the straws, which was Bunny’s idea. All of us delinquent teens at the table formed the straw wrappers into balls and flicked them at each other. The waitress came to the table to take our food order and rolled her eyes at us as she walked away...
~~~
I was not even through the first chapter, and I found I was personally invested in this young girl who had to be in her early teens when she was moved into a private catholic school where, at least it seemed to me, all hell began to break lose and Kelsey was a girl, all alone... I saw quickly that her parents seemed not to be really involved with her life. Yet, I also saw nonverbal signs that I knew were important... The major one that she had been allowed to start taking out the family car as soon as she got her license. All of her friends were jealous because their parents were not willing to do the same. Yet, even as Kelsey wrote, there was not once in her entire story that she ever referred to that vehicle as anything but "her parents car." I would say that even she was unsure exactly why she was being allowed to drive a car, even while she was in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse... Something was wrong! I wanted to stop reading the book right then and try to help...
But it only got worse. As things were happening faster, I could almost see Kelsey trying to slow things down--trying to prevent what she was being pulled into, perhaps because she was the only one that could drive??? I was afraid for her. I had a right to be. If you choose to read this book, please read it because you have a young teen for whom you are concerned. Parents and Grandparents especially. In my opinion, her grandparents acted in good faith when they sponsored her private schooling... But I can guarantee that they did NOT do any checking of references about the quality of the school and its teachers. Note that the reports about sexual assault of children by priests was already well known by the time this was happening...
During the years that Kelsey was going through her teen years, getting deeper and deeper, once in a while her mother would text her that she was concerned that they were no longer as close as they once were... Remember she was in her teens...
I can remember my mother, while waiting for me, wondering what I was doing for so long, she got out of the car and came to find me... Of course, I lied to her, hurrying from the restroom where I had run to, but I knew that I was just goofing off, flirting with a guy I was interested in... I had to be in my early 20s, but I knew not to cross my mother when, I knew, she was right to question... About the lying? I'll wager that every child in America had done that... What is the guidance we may remember--I sure do... but it sometimes takes time for it to sink in, doesn't it?
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. --I Cor.
Now, I have to ask, what in the world would a mother be doing texting a young girl who is in rehab but living at home?! Why was Kelsey on her own so much, with a car, at 16, having just got her license, and thus, with little experience? Notice that in the excerpt above, she wasn't even able to deal with a tire deflating! I was fuming! In fact, I'm more mad now than before. While reading I was so involved in wanting to see something good happen! I think it is relevant, though, that there was little written about either of her parents or grandparents, other than the early reference that she was relocated into a new environment in which she was forced to face everything new, on her own... (She has written two other books, which I'll be reading. Given the quality of writing for this book, I'm confident that the things that confused me will be clarified...)
On the other hand, I hope that, because of its content, that parents will not "ban" the book... It is obviously one that will reveal what teen girls, and boys, are facing in today's world...Reading somebody else's experiences just could save another girl, or boy, from the same problems or mistakes...
Right now, I want you to stop and click to an article on Human Trafficking, that in my opinion, every person in America should be reading and responding to... Here is the cover of the book spotlighted... I know one thing, I never felt a time when I didn't feel that my mother would be concerned enough to help me through anything...
I was therefore very, very disappointed when, when Kelsey needed her most of all, her mother chose not to believe her daughter rather than two young men who were slick liars and conmen...and had just not only kidnapped her from her home, but again abused Kelsey... Please know that this book is not an easy read. However, it certainly is recommended. We all need to know that we are not alone in facing unimaginable issues--but can make it through them--ultimately stronger for the experience. A strong female who can stand on her own and, realize, no matter what, she can and should say No when she wants too! We must work to ensure that happens! I've already downloaded the two other books from this author. Her reviews are good; her bravery is outstanding!
Plan to come back to spend time with Kelsey, Rory and me as we talk about the issues covered in Double Crossed where three women of different ages, explore their early years of becoming women. I was not surprised at what we found...Will you Be?
Here is my theory as to why it’s difficult for many women to think of female leaders. I have made it into a poem:
Women did not create America’s political system.
Men did.
If women get a chance to invent a new way of governing—
which, of course, we will, and it will be infinitely superior—
we won’t have to rack our brains
envisioning
women leaders.
Because our leaders will be women.
What women can envision right now—
without the slightest hesitation—
is getting rid of men.
~~~
For instance, at the National Women’s Hall of Fame in Seneca Falls, New York, just to jump ahead in our story, Jennifer and Irene, who both work at the Hall of Fame, suggest that “the men” could be “put out on the golf course,” where they can “hit their balls.”
The National Women’s Hall of Fame, by the by, is hung with photos, bios, and plaques of famous women. “While I’m here,” I say, “I would like to nominate Melania Trump and put her up there on your wall of fame with Harriet Tubman, Louisa May Alcott, Susan B. Anthony, Maya Angelou, Lucille Ball, Margaret Bourke-White, and Julia Child.”
“Go ahead!” says Irene.
“If any woman deserves a plaque on your wall,” I say, “it’s Melanija Knavs Trump!”
“It’s a hundred dollars for the plaque,” says Irene, “which we will send to Mrs. Trump. Plus five dollars for the shipping and handling. And then we will display a copy of her plaque on the wall forever.”
I pay without trifling and send the plaque to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.
I want it engraved with the following, if possible: FOR IDIOCIES SUFFERED AS A RESULT OF BEING DONALD TRUMP’S FIRST LADY
I haven’t checked, but I believe the permanent copy of the plaque now resides on the wall of the National Women’s Hall of Fame. Congratulations, Melania!
"He wants you to answer, 'We're together because I can’t go on living without you, and because you are a god among men.' When you get bored of saying that, and if he can’t make an effort to hold a real conversation,you should respond, 'We’re not.' And accept his invitation to go." (May 2019 issue of ELLE)
On Navigating Male Attention Post #MeToo
"The only 100 percent guaranteed way to stop men from 'crossing the line' is using a tranquilizer gun. In the #MeToo era, each woman has to decide where her own line is and how firmly she will prevent each boss, preacher, teacher, coworker, old friend, and stranger from crossing it. She alone determines which reaction is 'right' for her. And by each of us choosing for ourselves, we empower all womankind." (September 2019 issue of ELLE)
!!!
When an Advice Columnist (longest running yet) reads all the letters that are sent, finds that most, or all of them, are from women and decides she needs to write a book, how does she go about doing it? I wondered... but then as I started thinking about how to talk about the book, I realized that it was quite simple... Or at least it seemed so, AFTER she had written it...
Then, I was fairly certain about her tone in asking the question, but I went out on Elle's online site and selected just two of those "Asks" that are available there... Yes, they were funny, perhaps a little sarcastic sometimes, but, then, straight to the point! I was smiling even before I started to write...
First, she knew she needed to do research, asking just one question. But where would we begin asking. Well, the author chose to go traveling to every town that had a woman's name as part of the location; for example, Marysville, Ohio... So she planned her itinerary based upon that one assumption... Got in her car, got everything ready to travel for herself and her traveling companion, Lewis Carroll... And she sets off!
Then when she gets there, she might put up her sign on the top of her car, "Free Advice" or she's stopped for a meal and start talking to the women, and sometimes men, who she meets! Cool, Right?! BTW, I've seen some critical comments from men who reviewed the book. I think this is definitely Chic Lit"; but if you're a man who, when his woman asks you to go talk to a woman with a kilt on and a dog with aquamarine hair, and you go...then you are probably the men who will be allowed to stay when we women take over...
Ironically, my caretaker who drives for me, takes me to the doctor, etc., and I had just been discussing that we both felt that women needed to take over businesses, for a start... I, for one, had already determined that men who are involved with service companies, such as Home Depot, or even KFC, have NO empathy (and few skills or ability to learn) with which they interact with their customers! Else we women wouldn't be ranting as much as we do...daily...
So I was prepared to sit back and enjoy the trip...
And, it began with a superb but quite descriptive Prologue for us:
Women! You are fabulous! But for twenty-five years, you have been writing to me at the Ask E. Jean column in Elle seeking advice, and for twenty-five years, no matter what problems are driving you crazy—your careers, your wardrobes, your love affairs, your religion, your children, your orgasms, your finances—there comes a line in almost every letter when the cause of your quagmires is revealed. And that cause is men.
Ladies, I have been thinking about this dilemma. It occurs to me that when men are not passing the Ask E. Jean correspondents over for promotion, they are pestering, groping, pawing, pinching, mauling, and underpaying the Ask E. Jean correspondents. But my concern is not confined to Ask E. Jean letter-writers only. The whole female sex seems to agree that men are becoming a nuisance with their lying, cheating, robbing, perjuring, assaulting, murdering, voting debauchers onto the Supreme Court, threatening one another with intercontinental ballistic nuclear warheads, and so on.
Now, I have weighed the two schemes put forth to solve this problem: arresting the chaps and/or impeaching them. Bah! These measures will accomplish nothing! My scheme does away with the lads entirely. I do, therefore, humbly offer for your consideration the following Modest Proposal: The average American man is five foot nine and weighs 195.5 pounds. I have been assured by female scientists that the male body is roughly composed of 0.00004 percent iodine, 0.00004 percent iron, 0.05 percent magnesium, 0.15 percent chlorine, 0.15 percent sodium, 0.25 percent sulfur, 0.35 percent potassium, 1 percent phosphorus, 1.5 percent calcium, 3.2 percent nitrogen, 10 percent hydrogen, 18 percent carbon, and 65 percent oxygen, and these elements would, on the open market, fetch around $1 per bloke. If we plump the lads up, we could be looking at $1.02 or $1.03! The number of males in America is generally reckoned at 164,628,232. Ladies, I propose that we dispose of our chaps at the $1.03 price and put their elements to better use. Not only would this solve all the problems of the Ask E. Jean correspondents, but since ninety-nine out of a hundred calamities throughout history have been caused by men, and since we will be eliminating a prodigious number of idiots, dickweeds, numbskulls, brutes, weaklings, and dingbats (and that’s just from the US Congress), the benefit to the nation would be infinite. Plus, with the $170 or $180 million we receive, we will be able to purchase, in return, eleven or twelve genuine Birkin bags. But before I feel completely satisfied with offering this plan for your consideration, Ladies, and to make absolutely certain that before we sell their elements on the open market, the chaps aren’t actually needed for anything, I will leave my little cabin in the woods and travel to towns named after women. And when I arrive in each town named after a woman, I will get out of the car and ask people, “What Do We Need Men For?”
The date is October 6, 2017. Prepare for immortality! The maps, the wine, the books, the clothes, the Baby Ruths, the Girl Scout cookies are packed. I have said farewell to the cat, Vagina T. Fireball. The dog, Lewis Carroll, has taken up his position in the back seat with his head out the window. I have donned my Korean driving cap, which, to look fashionable, must be worn pulled down over one eyebrow. To look fabulous, it must cover the entire eye, socket and all, plus half the other eye. It was designed by a woman who must have had a chauffeur. I have returned to the cabin to say farewell again, to the cat. Oh, and one more thing.
No one need be carried from the room. For instance, when we get to the section of the book about the president and how he throws me against a wall and yanks down my tights in Bergdorf’s—do not be alarmed, Ladies. As I write, he is still married to the First Lady. Anyway, I assure you that I have been attacked by far, far better men than the president. One of my husbands, the glamorous ABC anchorman, for instance, was a famous choker whom I wore for three seasons. Here we all are in a photo taken at a party. But, happily, not every man we meet will try to yank down my tights—though, in the very first chapter, there is a boy who knocks me to the ground and, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves—it takes more than a bunch of dolts to stop your advice columnist!
So, Ladies, honk your horns! We’ve got a big, big road trip ahead of us! LET’S GO! P.S. Let me assure you that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this Modest Proposal. I have no men by which I can get a single penny when we sell their elements—no current husbands, bosses, etc., etc.—even if the chaps turn out to fetch prices as high as $1.05 or $1.06! I have no other motive than the public good of the nation.
~~~
What I wasn't prepared for was the author's own "list" as part of her book--think personal tell-all memoir... And my tears of sorrow as I read... You see, the author and I are about the same age... We have both experienced sexual abuse as a young child... We are both members of the #MeToo Movement... And have survived quite well!
The Most Hideous Men in My Life...Carroll starts numbering these molestors or otherwise abusive actors as she goes... Personally, I found the break of this sharing about those men who had treated E. Jean horribly needed... The book goes back and forth between her trips and stops, until, perhaps, something sets the author back to a terrible time in her life, when a man was involved. Each time, there is a familiar ring to the words...
Heading to Elyria, Ohio. with Aretha blaring, the author stops at Oberlin College to meet up with some college girls! She puts out her sign, but this time she turns the tables on two students... I Need Advice! And another interview begins... She explains that none of the problems she's been receiving on Ask E. Jean are from men. One student quickly responds that is because all problems are caused by men... Good start, right?!
In fact, except for providing sperm for children, most of the responses were, honestly, that they could get along without men... Some even bragged that they could do anything better than men--this from a proud woman who worked a farm and had discovered that there weren't too many men willing to put in the work! Single, farming and doing fine!
Now this didn't surprise me, nor will it surprise readers, will it? Except reading this part of the book is indeed funny and, she finds one thing that men are good for--fixing cars because hers starts giving her problems and is forced to stay overnight... frustrated... But she finds women to talk to everywhere she goes!
If you can't answer the question, What Do We Need Men For?, I highly recommend you read the book... While it is definitely written to share and have fun between and among women, some men might also enjoy it, although my recommendation is to women! LOL
A few personal comments. The type of events when the author was very young should be read carefully. You might want to consider who your babysitters are after learning what happened--individually or in group settings...
I found the scene where the author was raped by our past president very credible... The interaction was casually flirty, at first... each identifying the other that they knew who they were... And then...the shock of violence mixed with sexual abuse. Given all that I'd heard, including the famous boast that he could grab women by the pussy was totally in line with what happened... Except that this woman didn't accept the grabbing... Nor did we want it...
The other thing I realized that I would be rethinking whether or not I will be writing my own memoir in relation to this aspect of my life. I can probably just say, Read E. Jean Carroll's book and you'll get the idea... Sexual Assault has been going on since Bible times... Sometimes I wonder if, because it is in the Bible, that men feel they have a right to rape a young girl... or any woman... I tried to tell myself No, that probably most men don't even read the Bible... But the thought still lingers...
This book deserves your attention... Read it to reinforce your own opinions or laugh if some story hits a little too close to home, even if you decide to keep the man in your life, rather than sell him... Or put him in one of the camps that will be another option... Or, read it together and be thankful that you are not the type of man that many women...can...do ...without...
The many changes I dedicated myself to undergo, has taken years of much patience, discipline, commitment and hard work, all for my well being.
Humility was the driving factor.
My art and books have been a healing of sorts for this journey of my life. They have given more meaning and reason to love the work, finding enjoyment and contentment and moments of serenity and peace.
It feels good to be in no competition with anyone. As I get older the most important ambition now is, to evolve into a better human being .
It's that simple. I've learned to follow my heart. And the spirit that moves inside of it, is calm and without hate and anger, and although the world has ways of robbing that, to anger me, it goes away when the sun goes down.
All day my mind is caught up, as I move around taking care of things, going here and there, taking care of this place and Homie the cat, in giving thanks for the blessings. Not for the things, but for the spirits of my ancestors holding me up, and for Grandfather for opening my eyes, and giving me understanding.
Lioj em chiokoe uttesia. Paas into waata.
Manny, thought I'd add one of my favorites which seemed to match and complement your prayer...
Manny Moreno, Author and Artist, is an ongoing contributor and friend at Book Readers Heaven... Thank you, Manny, for your beautiful words from your life!
