Here is my theory as to why it’s difficult for many women to think of female leaders. I have made it into a poem:
Women did not create America’s political system.Men did.If women get a chance to invent a new way of governing—which, of course, we will, and it will be infinitely superior—we won’t have to rack our brains
envisioning
women leaders.Because our leaders will be women.
What women can envision right now—without the slightest hesitation—
is getting rid of men.
~~~
For instance, at the National Women’s Hall of Fame in Seneca Falls, New York, just to jump ahead in our story, Jennifer and Irene, who both work at the Hall of Fame, suggest that “the men” could be “put out on the golf course,” where they can “hit their balls.”
The National Women’s Hall of Fame, by the by, is hung with photos, bios, and plaques of famous women. “While I’m here,” I say, “I would like to nominate Melania Trump and put her up there on your wall of fame with Harriet Tubman, Louisa May Alcott, Susan B. Anthony, Maya Angelou, Lucille Ball, Margaret Bourke-White, and Julia Child.”
“Go ahead!” says Irene.
“If any woman deserves a plaque on your wall,” I say, “it’s Melanija Knavs Trump!”
“It’s a hundred dollars for the plaque,” says Irene, “which we will send to Mrs. Trump. Plus five dollars for the shipping and handling. And then we will display a copy of her plaque on the wall forever.”
I pay without trifling and send the plaque to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.
I want it engraved with the following, if possible: FOR IDIOCIES SUFFERED AS A RESULT OF BEING DONALD TRUMP’S FIRST LADY
I haven’t checked, but I believe the permanent copy of the plaque now resides on the wall of the National Women’s Hall of Fame. Congratulations, Melania!
~~~
On What to Say When a Partner Asks,
"Why Are We Even Together?"
 |
On Navigating Male Attention Post #MeToo
"The only 100 percent guaranteed way to stop men from 'crossing the line' is using a tranquilizer gun. In the #MeToo era, each woman has to decide where her own line is and how firmly she will prevent each boss, preacher, teacher, coworker, old friend, and stranger from crossing it. She alone determines which reaction is 'right' for her. And by each of us choosing for ourselves, we empower all womankind." (September 2019 issue of ELLE)
!!!
When an Advice Columnist (longest running yet) reads all the letters that are sent, finds that most, or all of them, are from women and decides she needs to write a book, how does she go about doing it? I wondered... but then as I started thinking about how to talk about the book, I realized that it was quite simple... Or at least it seemed so, AFTER she had written it...
Then, I was fairly certain about her tone in asking the question, but I went out on Elle's online site and selected just two of those "Asks" that are available there... Yes, they were funny, perhaps a little sarcastic sometimes, but, then, straight to the point! I was smiling even before I started to write...
First, she knew she needed to do research, asking just one question. But where would we begin asking. Well, the author chose to go traveling to every town that had a woman's name as part of the location; for example, Marysville, Ohio... So she planned her itinerary based upon that one assumption... Got in her car, got everything ready to travel for herself and her traveling companion, Lewis Carroll... And she sets off!
Then when she gets there, she might put up her sign on the top of her car, "Free Advice" or she's stopped for a meal and start talking to the women, and sometimes men, who she meets! Cool, Right?! BTW, I've seen some critical comments from men who reviewed the book. I think this is definitely Chic Lit"; but if you're a man who, when his woman asks you to go talk to a woman with a kilt on and a dog with aquamarine hair, and you go...then you are probably the men who will be allowed to stay when we women take over...
Ironically, my caretaker who drives for me, takes me to the doctor, etc., and I had just been discussing that we both felt that women needed to take over businesses, for a start... I, for one, had already determined that men who are involved with service companies, such as Home Depot, or even KFC, have NO empathy (and few skills or ability to learn) with which they interact with their customers! Else we women wouldn't be ranting as much as we do...daily...
So I was prepared to sit back and enjoy the trip...
And, it began with a superb but quite descriptive Prologue for us:
Women! You are fabulous! But for twenty-five years, you have been writing to me at the Ask E. Jean column in Elle seeking advice, and for twenty-five years, no matter what problems are driving you crazy—your careers, your wardrobes, your love affairs, your religion, your children, your orgasms, your finances—there comes a line in almost every letter when the cause of your quagmires is revealed. And that cause is men.
Ladies, I have been thinking about this dilemma. It occurs to me that when men are not passing the Ask E. Jean correspondents over for promotion, they are pestering, groping, pawing, pinching, mauling, and underpaying the Ask E. Jean correspondents. But my concern is not confined to Ask E. Jean letter-writers only. The whole female sex seems to agree that men are becoming a nuisance with their lying, cheating, robbing, perjuring, assaulting, murdering, voting debauchers onto the Supreme Court, threatening one another with intercontinental ballistic nuclear warheads, and so on.
Now, I have weighed the two schemes put forth to solve this problem: arresting the chaps and/or impeaching them. Bah! These measures will accomplish nothing! My scheme does away with the lads entirely. I do, therefore, humbly offer for your consideration the following Modest Proposal: The average American man is five foot nine and weighs 195.5 pounds. I have been assured by female scientists that the male body is roughly composed of 0.00004 percent iodine, 0.00004 percent iron, 0.05 percent magnesium, 0.15 percent chlorine, 0.15 percent sodium, 0.25 percent sulfur, 0.35 percent potassium, 1 percent phosphorus, 1.5 percent calcium, 3.2 percent nitrogen, 10 percent hydrogen, 18 percent carbon, and 65 percent oxygen, and these elements would, on the open market, fetch around $1 per bloke. If we plump the lads up, we could be looking at $1.02 or $1.03! The number of males in America is generally reckoned at 164,628,232. Ladies, I propose that we dispose of our chaps at the $1.03 price and put their elements to better use. Not only would this solve all the problems of the Ask E. Jean correspondents, but since ninety-nine out of a hundred calamities throughout history have been caused by men, and since we will be eliminating a prodigious number of idiots, dickweeds, numbskulls, brutes, weaklings, and dingbats (and that’s just from the US Congress), the benefit to the nation would be infinite. Plus, with the $170 or $180 million we receive, we will be able to purchase, in return, eleven or twelve genuine Birkin bags. But before I feel completely satisfied with offering this plan for your consideration, Ladies, and to make absolutely certain that before we sell their elements on the open market, the chaps aren’t actually needed for anything, I will leave my little cabin in the woods and travel to towns named after women. And when I arrive in each town named after a woman, I will get out of the car and ask people, “What Do We Need Men For?”
Indeed, I plan to leave my little home, which is on an island the size of a mattress eight miles south of Mount Eve in New York, and hit every town named after a woman between Tallulah, Louisiana, and Eden, Vermont (Eden is the #131 most popular name for girls in America so far this year, according to BabyCenter.com. Tallulah, alas, has recently plunged 581 points in popularity to #2,245).* I will be driving the spiteful Miss Bingley, my nine-year-old Prius, named after Jane Austen’s mean girl in Pride and Prejudice; and to keep myself sharp, I will only eat in cafés named after women, listen to music sung by women, drink wines named for-women, read books written by women, and wear clothes designed by women. If I eat a burrito in my motel room, it will be an Amy’s organic hand-wrapped, cheddar cheese-, bean-, and rice-with-Mexican-sauce bitchin’ burrito. Ladies, the time has come.
The date is October 6, 2017. Prepare for immortality! The maps, the wine, the books, the clothes, the Baby Ruths, the Girl Scout cookies are packed. I have said farewell to the cat, Vagina T. Fireball. The dog, Lewis Carroll, has taken up his position in the back seat with his head out the window. I have donned my Korean driving cap, which, to look fashionable, must be worn pulled down over one eyebrow. To look fabulous, it must cover the entire eye, socket and all, plus half the other eye. It was designed by a woman who must have had a chauffeur. I have returned to the cabin to say farewell again, to the cat. Oh, and one more thing.
No one need be carried from the room. For instance, when we get to the section of the book about the president and how he throws me against a wall and yanks down my tights in Bergdorf’s—do not be alarmed, Ladies. As I write, he is still married to the First Lady. Anyway, I assure you that I have been attacked by far, far better men than the president. One of my husbands, the glamorous ABC anchorman, for instance, was a famous choker whom I wore for three seasons. Here we all are in a photo taken at a party. But, happily, not every man we meet will try to yank down my tights—though, in the very first chapter, there is a boy who knocks me to the ground and, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves—it takes more than a bunch of dolts to stop your advice columnist!
So, Ladies, honk your horns! We’ve got a big, big road trip ahead of us! LET’S GO! P.S. Let me assure you that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this Modest Proposal. I have no men by which I can get a single penny when we sell their elements—no current husbands, bosses, etc., etc.—even if the chaps turn out to fetch prices as high as $1.05 or $1.06! I have no other motive than the public good of the nation.
~~~
What I wasn't prepared for was the author's own "list" as part of her book--think personal tell-all memoir... And my tears of sorrow as I read... You see, the author and I are about the same age... We have both experienced sexual abuse as a young child... We are both members of the #MeToo Movement... And have survived quite well!
The Most Hideous Men in My Life...Carroll starts numbering these molestors or otherwise abusive actors as she goes... Personally, I found the break of this sharing about those men who had treated E. Jean horribly needed... The book goes back and forth between her trips and stops, until, perhaps, something sets the author back to a terrible time in her life, when a man was involved. Each time, there is a familiar ring to the words...
Heading to Elyria, Ohio. with Aretha blaring, the author stops at Oberlin College to meet up with some college girls! She puts out her sign, but this time she turns the tables on two students... I Need Advice! And another interview begins... She explains that none of the problems she's been receiving on Ask E. Jean are from men. One student quickly responds that is because all problems are caused by men... Good start, right?!
In fact, except for providing sperm for children, most of the responses were, honestly, that they could get along without men... Some even bragged that they could do anything better than men--this from a proud woman who worked a farm and had discovered that there weren't too many men willing to put in the work! Single, farming and doing fine!
Now this didn't surprise me, nor will it surprise readers, will it? Except reading this part of the book is indeed funny and, she finds one thing that men are good for--fixing cars because hers starts giving her problems and is forced to stay overnight... frustrated... But she finds women to talk to everywhere she goes!
If you can't answer the question, What Do We Need Men For?, I highly recommend you read the book... While it is definitely written to share and have fun between and among women, some men might also enjoy it, although my recommendation is to women! LOL
A few personal comments. The type of events when the author was very young should be read carefully. You might want to consider who your babysitters are after learning what happened--individually or in group settings...
I found the scene where the author was raped by our past president very credible... The interaction was casually flirty, at first... each identifying the other that they knew who they were... And then...the shock of violence mixed with sexual abuse. Given all that I'd heard, including the famous boast that he could grab women by the pussy was totally in line with what happened... Except that this woman didn't accept the grabbing... Nor did we want it...
The other thing I realized that I would be rethinking whether or not I will be writing my own memoir in relation to this aspect of my life. I can probably just say, Read E. Jean Carroll's book and you'll get the idea... Sexual Assault has been going on since Bible times... Sometimes I wonder if, because it is in the Bible, that men feel they have a right to rape a young girl... or any woman... I tried to tell myself No, that probably most men don't even read the Bible... But the thought still lingers...
This book deserves your attention... Read it to reinforce your own opinions or laugh if some story hits a little too close to home, even if you decide to keep the man in your life, rather than sell him... Or put him in one of the camps that will be another option... Or, read it together and be thankful that you are not the type of man that many women...can...do ...without...
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