Peg took a sip of her coffee. “Wow! Were you such a feminist before you transitioned?” Erin grinned. “I wish I could say yes, but probably not. As they say, ‘Perception is reality.’ ”
November 20, 2009 THE CANDLES ON THE ALTAR FLICKERED, THROWING STRANGE SHADOWS across the enormous stained-glass windows that rose up to the vaulted roof of the chapel. Erin McCabe stood among a group of people she had come to know over the last five years. Their journeys were all very different, but they were compatriots nonetheless, joined by a common thread. A thread that also knitted them to the names being solemnly read to the fifty or so people gathered in the pews near the front of the chapel. “From the United States—Caprice Curry, age thirty-one; Jimmy McCollough, age thirty-four; Foxy Ivy, age twenty-five; Kelly Watson, no age; Eric ‘Beyoncé’ Lee, age twenty-one; Paulina Ibarra, age twenty-four; Mariah Qualis, age twenty-one; Carson Stevenson, age forty-seven; Jacqueline Ford, age sixty . . .” As each name was read, it was displayed on a large screen. Each name a life lost, most of them young, most women of color, all of them killed in the last twelve months because they were transgender, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming. Tears rolled from the corners of Erin’s eyes. This was her third year attending the International Transgender Day of Remembrance at the Princeton Chapel, and each year was harder than the previous one, as the list of names grew longer every year. Tonight, she and her companions took turns reading each of the 163 names of the people lost. After the last name was read, they slowly returned to the pews and took their seats among the others in attendance. When they were seated, a Unitarian Universalist minister slowly climbed up to the pulpit and offered a moving prayer about love, compassion, and acceptance. When the minister finished, a singer sat down at the piano and, in a beautiful contralto, offered moving renditions of “Imagine” followed by “I Will Remember You.” As the final chords faded, Erin remained anchored in place, allowing the solemnity of the moment to linger, taking a few more seconds to remember those who had lost their lives, especially those who were remembered simply as “Name Unknown,” a final indignity to lives tragically cut short.
After several minutes, Erin turned to the woman on her right, Rachel Stern, a retired IRS Special Agent, and gave her a hug. “I hope you didn’t mind that I added Jacqueline’s name to the list,” Erin whispered, referring to Rachel’s friend Bradford Montgomery, who had also gone by the name Jacqueline Ford. “No. It was nice,” Rachel replied. “I know Brad spent his life in the closet, but he was one of us. Although, we both know Brad’s murder was politically motivated, and not because he was trans.” “That doesn’t make her loss any easier,” Erin replied, purposely switching pronouns to reflect who Brad truly was. “No. You’re right,” Rachel replied, and sighed. “I still miss her.”
Once they slid out of the pew, Erin gave Logan Stevens a hug. Logan, a self-described biracial, pansexual, genderqueer attorney, had played a huge role in Erin’s last case, and was now dating Rachel. Gathering their belongings, they made their way out into the unseasonably warm evening. They stood outside the chapel in the well-lit area by the walkway to Nassau Street. “A few of us are heading over to the Alchemist & Barrister to grab something to eat. You want to join us?” Logan asked. “Sure,” Erin replied.
“Excuse me,” a man called out as he approached. “Would you be Erin McCabe?” “I am,” Erin replied, catching Rachel and Logan eyeing the man suspiciously. “I don’t mean to be rude, but are you the criminal defense lawyer?” he asked skeptically. “Yes. I’m that Erin McCabe,” she responded with a small grin. “And to answer your next question, as far as I know, I’m the only Erin McCabe who’s a criminal defense attorney in New Jersey.” “I’m sorry,” the man stammered. “I apologize. You . . . well . . . you just look . . .”
“Too young to be the infamous Erin McCabe, criminal defense lawyer,” Logan suggested with a chuckle. Erin tried not to blush, but at five foot five with a dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose and a slim, athletic figure, she was still blessed with a youthful appearance that belied the fact that she was a seasoned attorney with a unique backstory. “Is there something I can help you with?” Erin asked. The man rubbed the back of his neck, appearing uncertain. “Um, is it possible for us to speak privately? I promise I won’t keep you from your friends. I know what today is. I was inside for part of the ceremony. I only need a couple of minutes. It’s about a potential case.” Sensing that Rachel was about to spring into special agent mode, Erin turned to her. “Why don’t you go on ahead with the others and save seats for Logan and me?” she said, hoping that Logan’s presence would reassure Rachel. Rachel gave Erin a sidelong glance, but headed off to the restaurant.
Erin studied the man. He appeared to be in his early thirties, and was significantly taller than her, so her guess was that he was close to six foot. He was a good-looking guy, well-built. He was wearing a black suit, with a white shirt that was unbuttoned at the collar, exposing a gold crucifix hanging from a chain around his neck. And even though Erin didn’t sense any danger, she felt better with Logan standing next to her. “Is this about representing you?” Erin asked. “No. Not me; I have a friend who needs help.” Erin pursed her lips. “Okay, but just so you know, if it’s not about representing you, the attorney-client privilege doesn’t apply.” “What’s that mean?” he asked. “Basically, it means that whatever you tell me isn’t confidential,” she said. He sighed and looked down at the ground, seeming to weigh his options. “Okay,” he finally said. “I guess I don’t have a choice. But can we speak alone?” Now it was Erin’s turn to consider her options. She had certainly pissed off enough rich and powerful people over the last four years to be wary of someone wanting to speak to her alone about representing someone else. Perhaps she was being paranoid, but as she was known to say, “It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.” Then there was also the issue of Logan, who Erin could sense was now in full protect mode. Erin finally landed on being cautious. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I prefer to have Logan here. Logan’s also an attorney and we sometimes work together, so anything you want to discuss with me you should feel free to discuss with them here as well.” “Them?” the man repeated, looking around. “Yes. Logan’s genderqueer and uses they, them, theirs pronouns.” “Oh,” he replied, unable to mask his confusion. “I apologize.
I don’t know your name,” Erin said. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Gabriel, Gabriel DeAngelis. But please call me Gabe,” he replied, offering his hand to Erin and Logan in turn. “How can I help you, Gabe?” Erin asked. DeAngelis seemed to glance around to see if anyone was within earshot. “Like I said, it’s not for me. It’s for my . . . my friend. He was arrested two days ago. He’s charged with murder and he desperately needs an attorney and you come highly recommended.” “Nice to know someone highly recommends me,” Erin said. “What’s your friend’s name and who’s he charged with murdering?” “My friend is Jon Mazer and he’s charged with murdering—” “Russell Marshall,” Erin said, finishing the sentence. DeAngelis took a deep breath. “I guess you saw it on the news.”
“Gabe, unless I was living in a cave on Borneo, it would be pretty hard for me not to know about the case. A white state trooper shoots a Black newspaper reporter, in the reporter’s home—a reporter who allegedly was working on an exposé of the state police. I mean, the governor, state attorney general, and the superintendent of the state police have all condemned your friend as a bad apple in an otherwise stellar law enforcement agency.” “They’re all full of it!” Gabe shouted. “I won’t argue with you about that,” Erin said. “But from what I’ve read, it still sounds like the state has a pretty solid case.” “That’s exactly why Jon needs you. He didn’t do it. He was the one working with Marshall to expose the corruption within the state police.”
“Look, Gabe, let me be blunt. I presume you know that I’m a transgender woman, and generally speaking, law enforcement doesn’t have a great reputation within the LGBTQ+ community. On top of that, my law partner, Duane Swisher, is a Black man. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how sick and tired Black people are of being killed by white law enforcement officers.” “Ms. McCabe . . .” “Please call me Erin.” “Erin. I get it, but Jon’s not just any trooper—he’s gay. He’s the only out gay male trooper we’re aware of, and since he was outed, other troopers have put him through hell. They literally hate him.” He bit down on his lip, closed his eyes, and exhaled. “Jon’s a close friend. Trust me, he didn’t do it. You have to help him.” Erin stared at him for several seconds. “Based on the fact that you’re here, I’m assuming he’s in custody.” “Yeah. Bail’s been set at two million dollars. There’s no way he can make that.” “The case is in Middlesex County, right?” Gabe nodded. “Not to be crass, but does he have money to pay for a lawyer?” “We’ll find a way.” Erin reached into her purse and took out a business card and handed it to DeAngelis. “Let me talk to my partner. Do you have a card?” He reached into his pocket, took out a card, quickly jotted something on the back, and handed it to her. She looked at the card, then at him. “That’s interesting.” “Please don’t call my work number,” he said. “I wrote my cell number on the back.” “Can you call me around ten a.m. Monday?” she asked. “Yeah. Ten will work.” “Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” He turned and headed down the walkway toward Nassau Street.
Once he was out of sight, they made their way down Witherspoon Street to join the others at the restaurant. “You going to take the case?” Logan asked. Erin shrugged. “Don’t know. At this point I don’t even know if he can afford a lawyer. Not to mention, I’m not sure how Duane will feel about the racial overtones of the case. I guess we’ll see.” “How about the fact that, based on what’s been in the press, his friend is guilty as sin,” Logan asked. “Nah. That’s not a consideration. If Duane and I only took on clients who were innocent, we would’ve been out of business years ago.” Logan laughed. “You think Gabe and Mazer are more than friends?” “Don’t know,” Erin said. “But it would explain Gabe’s desire for confidentiality.” “Why?” Logan asked. Erin handed Gabe’s card to Logan. Logan looked down at the card, stopped in their tracks, and screamed, “What the fxxx! Are you shxxxing me? Reverend Gabriel DeAngelis, Saint Raymond’s Roman Catholic Church, Franklin, New Jersey.” “You can’t make this stuff up,” Erin said. “Damn, woman,” Logan said. “You sure do get some crazy-ass cases.”
I decided to read this story based upon the title--Nothing But the Truth--an obvious legal novel which I've always enjoyed. It truly is a fascinating fictional story that comes straight from today's headlines. As soon as I finished, I went out and purchased the first in the series - An Erin McCabe Legal Thriller, to begin catching up on the main character's life.
To begin I want to share a portion of the Acknowledgements section written by the author:
Although this book is critical of some in the law enforcement community, I am sensitive to the fact that there are many dedicated people working in law enforcement—I’ve had the pleasure of working with any number of them. It can be a difficult and dangerous profession. However, those dangers should never blind us to the fact that there is room for improvement in the way the public, and in particular, marginalized communities are treated by members of law enforcement. It is no secret that these are especially difficult times for the transgender and nonbinary communities. Trans and nonbinary folks, especially young people, are under attack by people who deny our very existence and seek to take away our basic human rights. Some have vowed to eradicate us. I am an out, proud, and open transgender woman, and if Erin McCabe as a character offers any lessons, it’s that none of us choose to be trans or nonbinary—it’s not a lifestyle choice or a fad—it’s just who we are. Like everyone else, we are human beings trying to live our best lives possible. So, to everyone in the LGBTQ+ community, and especially those in the trans and nonbinary communities, thank you for your strength and inspiration. Finally, thank you to our allies who stand with us, you are invaluable.
Her words match what I had come to know as truth years ago. Given the ways in which those in this minority community are negatively treated, I knew there was No Way that they would "choose" to become something different than, often, their own family members. And, more importantly, Jesus never listed anybody to be excluded when He commanded us to Love God and Love our Neighbors... In fact, if you believe that God created us, then there really is no justification to treat them differently. And yet there have always been those who do.
You know, folks, from my perspective as a Christian, none of the prejudices that some people develop and attempt to justify hate and violence against others are valid. Nevertheless, as we have seen, it is only on the individual person level that we can truly know who others are... I don't profess to know how others choose to be as an individual, but then, many would never accept that I find fulfillment in reading and talking about the books I read, instead of some other activities that ar available to me... Yes, in my mind, there really is no difference in being called a "Single Cat Lady" as opposed to being a mother, by a vice-presidential candidate than in hearing any other critical evaluation made from one individual toward another... And, in the political world, in my opinion, the extremes that is happening right now in America is totally unacceptable. I didn't know about the characters identities before I started to read. To me, it didn't matter...
Erin McCabe is the main character and is a criminal defense lawyer who is rapidly building a name for herself... Standing tall, literally, beside her is a Black former FBI Agent/lawyer who has become a perfect partner for two individuals who've had some difficult history to go through. Like many of us... BUT, for me, my difficulties may not have been my fault but are the types of things we must all deal with, it seems, especially in the present when after too many years, we are still dealing with those who choose hate, prejudice, fear and violence, to be their life choices. My point? I've never experienced personal hate and violence against me like Erin and those who are "different" in some way. You see, I am a white woman and only recently began to see the total indifference from many who see the elderly as a minority they are not interested in supporting... Or, worse, all women who have had their basic rights for feminine health care taken away from them!
This book centers on those who are targeted...just...because...of...who... they...are... And, all those who love them...just...the...way...they...are!
The book opens when Russell Marshall, a local investigative journalist is murdered in his own home. He was Black and soon an openly gay State Trooper is charged with his death. Marshall had actually been working with this trooper since he was doing an investigation on the targeting of Black and other minorities by a group within the State Troopers known as the Lords of Discipline. Jon Mazer had been working with Marshall on his investigation since he had, himself, filed a Internal Affairs report about being harassed by certain Troopers.
First they discovered his fingerprints in Marshall's home which then led to the fact that one of his guns was used for the murder. Jon's Priest was the one to contact Erin in the hope that she would agree to defend his friend. She took his card and told him that she would discuss the case with her partner. The primary reason to clear with Duane Swisher, known as Swish, was because of the ongoing killing of black men by cops and whether he could handle working closely with a state trooper. But during the initial interview, it was Swish who began to talk about the costs, leaving Erin to recognize that he was willing to take the case.
What they discovered during an in-depth investigation is truly direct from the news headlines. Indeed, Marshall, the news investigator had uncovered the reality that there actually was a group who worked to bring harm to those who were in non-white groups of people. And, verified that the earlier internal investigation had been falsified. The final draft had been shared and ready for publication... That evening Marshall was confronted and murdered!
Erin and Swish are excellent characters. They are loving to each other, totally committed to their professional relationship, and, have to deal with family relationships just like the rest of us... More specifically, they treat each other and their clients as all should be treated--with sensitivity, concern and a dedication to ensuring they have done the best job they could do in defending their clients.
Lots of kids have to deal with issues over who their parents are. But that’s not a reason to shy away. It’s a reason to move forward. Because it’s only when we refuse to be intimidated and we stand up to the bullies that we can move past the hatred and bias to a place of love.”
You will learn that the haters can be situated in just about any position that is available. You will also learn that those who have accepted an oath to protect may willingly choose to break that oath based upon their own prejudices, biases, or because they have been incited to break their oath by those in supervisory positions. And, importantly, you will learn that those who have been targeted feel just as you might feel if you were discriminated against. Rather, that decisions are often made to support their personal drive for power and higher salaries. And, most of all, you will see and read how those who are focused on hate, speak, act, and strive to ensure that their hatred is known and, ultimately, felt by those toward which hate is pointed. You will read language used by the haters that is obscene, yet you will read it as spoken by the haters. In fact, during the trial, you will explore just how much of that hatred spewed by those haters is acceptable, even to prove guilt.
Erin thought. Rule number one—the person responsible will always try to blame someone else when questioned. “Your Honor,” Erin began, “I will represent to you as an officer of the court that neither I, nor Mr. Swisher, has provided any information to the press.
This is the best legal interaction within a novel that I have read. One significant difference was that the judge herself, was much more active during the trial than I had witnessed even through hundreds of hours enjoying television's Law and Order programs! I like to think that this evolved because of recent television court cases that have been shown. Frankly I enjoyed the judge taking a leading role, rather than leaving it to the prosecuting team to control the activities.
One of the areas that came across clearly in the course of the legal preparation was that both sides needed to know much about all forms of computer technology and how it can be used to create, secure and share. In this case, it came to be the computer experts that led to the final decision... For me, I have no concern about how things can be done, rather I want to know what is possible. There will always be those who strive to communicate secretly, for whatever reason. Bottom line, for me, I learned much simply from reading this book!
One final point, there is considerable discussion about women's reproductive issues, including for minority people. I learned much from this book as well. Women's reproductive rights is uppermost in women's minds these days. Given one party's attempts to move us backward, while science has gained leaps and bounds in improving options in this very personal field, I found myself grateful for the author tackling the legal methods by which women can ensure that their needs are met within the laws but in support of what the medical professionals must address as well. Both were exceptionally well presented with specific issues and character involvement.
This was my first book read by author/lawyer Robyn Gigl. Her skills and expertise in both fields is so revealed that she's given me one of the most comprehensive fictional legal book that I've read in many years. It's an important read for women experiencing today's trauma at the hands of the republican party. Women will begin to understand the complexities of just how many issues that can occur in reproductive health! It will provide women with an exploration of how the doctor, lawyer, family dynamic can effectively occur--even without the government!!! I loved it and will continue to at least read this series...and more... Highly recommended as an addition to my Personal Favorites for 2024!
GABixlerReviews
“... think about it. Isn’t everyone’s desire to have a baby inherently selfish? Mind you, I’m not talking about an unwanted pregnancy or someone who’s raped, I’m talking about a mature couple that decides they want a baby. Why do we do that? Why do we think the world will be a better place if we create a child?”
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