Tayo Oredein Uses Poetry to Talk About Lost Love in His Ph.D. is in Hypocrisy: And Other Poems About My Crappy Ex-Boyfriend

 

If He Died 

November ‘00

I don’t know how to love him

At least not anymore

 I don’t know who he is

 And I don’t know how to care for him

 At least not with my heart

 I can’t say I know this man

 Though at one time I thought I did

 I’m only familiar with his exterior now

 The soul I once knew is no longer there

 He talks to me harshly, 

He touches me coldly,

 Dismisses me swiftly,

 Pushes me away boldly

 If he were to pass on

 I don’t think I’d be blessed

 with the tears to cry

 Because the man I once knew, 

The man I still love,

 Unfortunately has already died

 Leaving nothing but a selfish, cold,

 thoughtless stranger inside.

~~~

Also on...https://soundcloud.com/tytaytai?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

His Ph.D. is in Hypocrisy

 May ‘00

 An alum of Boston University

 where you majored in

 Psychology and Philosophy

 Yea, your Bachelor’s degree

 is in those subjects

 But your Ph.D. is in hypocrisy

 How else do you explain why it’s Ok

 for you to have messed with two girls

 when we first started out

 yet my kiss in Boston still haunts you

 Guys who are just my friends

 calling me plagues your mind

 But it’s cool for you to keep in touch

 with girls you know... 

In the Biblical sense, of course

 You lecture anyone who drinks

 Yet chill with those who smoke weed

 Preaching alcohol is wrong

 According to the Q'uran 

But if it bans drinking

 I’m sure weed is out of the question

 But apparently for that, 

You’ve made a concession

 See, Jesus turned water into wine

 Never did Mohammed

 turn roses into trees

 But there you go

 having at least one blunt a day,

 Please, All the while preaching about Islam

 Praising yourself because of your beard

 And because you make most of your prayers

 And fine, so you don't eat swine

 Only animals with split hooves

 that chew the cud

 But how funny is it that afterwards

 you sit back and smoke bud

 Granted alcohol is banned

 But the Q'uran also does not

 condone premarital sex

 or making money

 rhyming on a microphone

 after which you’re gonna again

 sit back and smoke marijuana 

Double standards run your mind

 But as long as you’re the beneficiary

 You don’t seem to care...

 I just know your ass

 better not say another word

 about me not covering my hair

 or what I should and should not wear.

~~~

Tayo Oredein is one of the writers with whom I'd been working when my health issues got in the way of my providing reviews upon request. When I came across her request I tried to get back into contact...but couldn't... I decided to go ahead and read her book. I'm certainly glad I did! It became one of my Personal Favorites for 2024! Some of you may recognize, her first line in the above poem was the first line in the song, of the same name, from Jesus Christ Superstar... It's rather ironic, don't you think, that a Christian teen falls in love with a Muslim boy and realizes that she, too, didn't know how to love him?

...At least now I’m in control Of my situation and my destination I’m doing me with no apology...

Actually, I'll wager, if I were a betting person, that over 50% of women in today's world have said that line for their own relationship at one time or another...

...Guys who are just my friends calling me plagues your mind But it’s cool for you to keep in touch with girls you know... In the Biblical sense, of course...

Oredein presents a memoir of the time she was very much in love. The book is written through poems; however, they are ordered chronology so that readers may feel, as I did, like we were reading a novel--a story that the author needed to write as a catharsis of how deeply she was hurt by "her man."

...I don’t know why I feel this way, or why his past is causing me such agony and pain The only thing I do know before I fell in love with him I was sane...

What makes her story more unique is that her boyfriend was a Muslim while she was Christian. From her standpoint, she had fallen in love and religion did not interfere in her love for him. That is, until she started to "feel" his words and actions. As you can see from the title, she ultimately saw him as a hypocrite!

...It’s four in the morning I’m having a nightmare I wake up in a panic You’re next to me, but you’re not there...   (Wow, this quote is so powerful, don't you think?)

 Other than the religious angle, her story could have been written by any girl who begins to discover that the individual with whom she had fallen in love was not who she thought he was... Or, in this situation, he had evolved from being very attentive and loving at first and then, while her feelings were growing, his seemed to be waning. The couple were racially different and there is one reference that this seemed may be part of the ultimate breakup.

Interracial Troubles
January ‘00

Interracial that’s for sure 
I wonder if our relationship can endure

 the tests that will be put forth
I know I like you,

race and skin color aside

 but I wonder why you’re with me

 because I’m black?

 An experience you’ve never had?

 Or do you think dating black is “cool”

 If that’s the case

 I want out I’m not your guinea pig

 But what’s this?

 You want to be with me for me?

 And you’re interested in my history?

 You can appreciate black culture,

 without trying to adopt it as your own?

 You don’t belittle my concerns

 and instead

 encourage me to talk about them?

 I guess I underestimated you,

 I underestimated us

 I’m glad I found someone I can talk to

 Someone who will listen to me

 Someone I can trust

~~~

One of her more powerful poems is about 9-11. Here's a small part:

...Muslims attacking America, in the name of Allah Islamic extremists using religion as a means to their end Making threats to attack us again Leaving Americans scared and seething with rage at the people who pray to the east, not knowing the literal root of  Islam…Peace.

Tayo was able to be very open in telling her story, so be prepared for a little explicit parts in a number of the poems. What I found most intriguing, though, was the references to the Q'uran... At one point, she even took the time to do research on his religion and provides it for her readers... Of course, that is the basis of the title. Tayo's lover was very open about suggesting changes to her... While he was open in continuing interactions with his former lovers... So, here's her thought, he obviously was involved with multiple women. (Indeed, the Q'uran allows multiple wives...) However, let's just say that he started before he was married and had not offered marriage, apparently, to any of his lovers...

I think I admire her most for not being willing to lose her own faith. Yet, on the other hand, she had fallen in love and didn't care about his faith being different. I found this an important issue to be addressed as we all, here in America, are having religion intertwined with politics--which has caused considerable concern and frustration. Reading Oredein's experience may be just the thing for teens and older women to think through how she decides to approach religion within any new relationships...

As I do with most writers, I spent some time searching online for what the writer may have that complements her book, her life. I found several locations where she is speaking her words. I've asked her to share more here, but will wait to see if she responds... I admire Tayo. I wasn't so open with my words as I lived during a different time. It is good that women are speaking out more earlier in their lives. I know that hiding my truths as I felt them in my earlier life served nobody, especially myself... I hope you will support her book. At this time, there are no other reviews so I do recommend you read this wonderful and open commentary on a subject, hypocrisy, which is even in the news headlines these days...

God Bless

GABixlerReviews