If He Died
November ‘00
I don’t know how to love him
At least not anymore
I don’t know who he is
And I don’t know how to care for him
At least not with my heart
I can’t say I know this man
Though at one time I thought I did
I’m only familiar with his exterior now
The soul I once knew is no longer there
He talks to me harshly,
He touches me coldly,
Dismisses me swiftly,
Pushes me away boldly
If he were to pass on
I don’t think I’d be blessed
with the tears to cry
Because the man I once knew,
The man I still love,
Unfortunately has already died
Leaving nothing but a selfish, cold,
thoughtless stranger inside.
~~~
Also on...https://soundcloud.com/tytaytai?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
His Ph.D. is in Hypocrisy
May ‘00
An alum of Boston University
where you majored in
Psychology and Philosophy
Yea, your Bachelor’s degree
is in those subjects
But your Ph.D. is in hypocrisy
How else do you explain why it’s Ok
for you to have messed with two girls
when we first started out
yet my kiss in Boston still haunts you
Guys who are just my friends
calling me plagues your mind
But it’s cool for you to keep in touch
with girls you know...
In the Biblical sense, of course
You lecture anyone who drinks
Yet chill with those who smoke weed
Preaching alcohol is wrong
According to the Q'uran
But if it bans drinking
I’m sure weed is out of the question
But apparently for that,
You’ve made a concession
See, Jesus turned water into wine
Never did Mohammed
turn roses into trees
But there you go
having at least one blunt a day,
Please, All the while preaching about Islam
Praising yourself because of your beard
And because you make most of your prayers
And fine, so you don't eat swine
Only animals with split hooves
that chew the cud
But how funny is it that afterwards
you sit back and smoke bud
Granted alcohol is banned
But the Q'uran also does not
condone premarital sex
or making money
rhyming on a microphone
after which you’re gonna again
sit back and smoke marijuana
Double standards run your mind
But as long as you’re the beneficiary
You don’t seem to care...
I just know your ass
better not say another word
about me not covering my hair
or what I should and should not wear.
~~~
Tayo Oredein is one of the writers with whom I'd been working when my health issues got in the way of my providing reviews upon request. When I came across her request I tried to get back into contact...but couldn't... I decided to go ahead and read her book. I'm certainly glad I did! It became one of my Personal Favorites for 2024! Some of you may recognize, her first line in the above poem was the first line in the song, of the same name, from Jesus Christ Superstar... It's rather ironic, don't you think, that a Christian teen falls in love with a Muslim boy and realizes that she, too, didn't know how to love him?
...At least now I’m in control Of my situation and my destination I’m doing me with no apology...
Actually, I'll wager, if I were a betting person, that over 50% of women in today's world have said that line for their own relationship at one time or another...
...Guys who are just my friends calling me plagues your mind But it’s cool for you to keep in touch with girls you know... In the Biblical sense, of course...
Oredein presents a memoir of the time she was very much in love. The book is written through poems; however, they are ordered chronology so that readers may feel, as I did, like we were reading a novel--a story that the author needed to write as a catharsis of how deeply she was hurt by "her man."
...I don’t know why I feel this way, or why his past is causing me such agony and pain The only thing I do know before I fell in love with him I was sane...
What makes her story more unique is that her boyfriend was a Muslim while she was Christian. From her standpoint, she had fallen in love and religion did not interfere in her love for him. That is, until she started to "feel" his words and actions. As you can see from the title, she ultimately saw him as a hypocrite!
...It’s four in the morning I’m having a nightmare I wake up in a panic You’re next to me, but you’re not there... (Wow, this quote is so powerful, don't you think?)
Other than the religious angle, her story could have been written by any girl who begins to discover that the individual with whom she had fallen in love was not who she thought he was... Or, in this situation, he had evolved from being very attentive and loving at first and then, while her feelings were growing, his seemed to be waning. The couple were racially different and there is one reference that this seemed may be part of the ultimate breakup.
Interracial TroublesJanuary ‘00
Interracial that’s for sure
I wonder if our relationship can endure
the tests that will be put forth
I know I like you,
I know I like you,
race and skin color aside
but I wonder why you’re with me
because I’m black?
An experience you’ve never had?
Or do you think dating black is “cool”
If that’s the case
I want out I’m not your guinea pig
But what’s this?
You want to be with me for me?
And you’re interested in my history?
You can appreciate black culture,
without trying to adopt it as your own?
You don’t belittle my concerns
and instead
encourage me to talk about them?
I guess I underestimated you,
I underestimated us
I’m glad I found someone I can talk to
Someone who will listen to me
Someone I can trust
~~~
One of her more powerful poems is about 9-11. Here's a small part:
...Muslims attacking America, in the name of Allah Islamic extremists using religion as a means to their end Making threats to attack us again Leaving Americans scared and seething with rage at the people who pray to the east, not knowing the literal root of Islam…Peace.
Tayo was able to be very open in telling her story, so be prepared for a little explicit parts in a number of the poems. What I found most intriguing, though, was the references to the Q'uran... At one point, she even took the time to do research on his religion and provides it for her readers... Of course, that is the basis of the title. Tayo's lover was very open about suggesting changes to her... While he was open in continuing interactions with his former lovers... So, here's her thought, he obviously was involved with multiple women. (Indeed, the Q'uran allows multiple wives...) However, let's just say that he started before he was married and had not offered marriage, apparently, to any of his lovers...
I think I admire her most for not being willing to lose her own faith. Yet, on the other hand, she had fallen in love and didn't care about his faith being different. I found this an important issue to be addressed as we all, here in America, are having religion intertwined with politics--which has caused considerable concern and frustration. Reading Oredein's experience may be just the thing for teens and older women to think through how she decides to approach religion within any new relationships...
As I do with most writers, I spent some time searching online for what the writer may have that complements her book, her life. I found several locations where she is speaking her words. I've asked her to share more here, but will wait to see if she responds... I admire Tayo. I wasn't so open with my words as I lived during a different time. It is good that women are speaking out more earlier in their lives. I know that hiding my truths as I felt them in my earlier life served nobody, especially myself... I hope you will support her book. At this time, there are no other reviews so I do recommend you read this wonderful and open commentary on a subject, hypocrisy, which is even in the news headlines these days...
God Bless
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