Welcome to Dr. John Van Dixhorn, Author of Prisoner of Belief. a Life Story...One That Affected Mine...

“What would it take to change
 your mind about things you think
 are true at this time?” 

Good Morning Dr. Van Dixhorn! Thank you so much for visiting with me here at Book Readers Heaven. First, do you mind if I call you John since we're of the same age range? LOL

Please feel free to call me John in the same way I call you Glenda.

You've already read my review, but like I said when I first contacted you, for some books, I like to go further into the book and discuss important issues you covered. Prisoner of Belief is certainly one of those books! I love the title, but, still, would like to hear how you came to name your book? And also, what led you to write your book?

I define a “prisoner of belief” as someone whose mind is controlled by a dogma that cannot change with new information.  If you ask someone who thinks Evolution sets forth certain truths, “What would it take to change your mind about things you think are true at this time?” They immediately could point to a number of discoveries that could be made that would change things for them.

To the prisoner of belief no new information would change anything.  They are locked into a box and cannot think outside of it.  All their intelligence goes into defending the dogma.  And the more absurd the dogma the more intelligence it takes to defend it. We do not have scores and scores of church councils for nothing.  They were badly needed to defend orthodoxy and nothing more.  There are a few very special theologians I have studied who have said, “It is very possible that God doesn’t exist, but here are the reasons I think he does.”  I do not call these Theist, “prisoners of belief.”

Or, perhaps like me, many had rejected the dogma and just went on from there???

Going public with a book about my psychological journey of discovery was more a personal record of my religious journey, than a desire to get involved with a lot of public discourse.  I felt if I did not define myself around these difficult issues, many people I know would like to define me in ways that were not true - like "John really wasn't an atheist, he was more..." and after I die I have no power over how people would define me.  Isn't this the sad story of Jesus?  He never wrote anything.  We only have a record of how he was defined 50 years after his death, by those who only heard from others and heard what they wanted to hear.  I didn't want this important part of my life to get distorted, by those who would want my truth to be something else than what it was... 


  

Your sub-title also gave me a nudge for a question... Specifically about reclaiming your soul... The first definition I came to in a computer search was "the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal." 

My question then is, why was it important to you to reclaim your soul? And, for clarity, how do you define "soul"?

The Greek word “psyche” from which we get our word “psychology” doesn’t always mean a spiritual element that is immortal.  It is sometimes translated mind or spirit.  I use it as a psychological entity that involves the inner life of emotions, instincts, motivations, desires, integrity etc. that determine what is real rather than false in a person. The human spirit of course dies when the brain dies.  I think that all things have a natural explanation, and that when we can’t come up with a natural explanation we create a supernatural explanation, that involves our imagination or superstition, void of any real evidence.  When we encounter something that appears to lie outside the natural world that is imperfectly understood, we hope eventually to understand it within the natural.  Some things belonging to the natural world will never be understood by the human mind.  I like the word “soul” in describing the most real longings of the human heart.  Now I’m using the word “heart” in the same way I use the word “soul.”  I’m not thinking of the heart as that which is pumping inside our chests.

I admit that the concept of immortality (heaven) has never really made a major impression on me...I wanted the "personal spiritual connection" that came with the Holy Spirit...as the primary goal of being a Christian...

John, if I'm following your line of thinking, then humans have evolved to possess such abilities to "imagine" that we just happened to arrive at the stage where we have such abilities of thinking, without benefit of a superior being ever being involved in our creation?

I think I did a bad job in explaining what I meant by how our instincts create the Gods we do.  If I have insights and don’t deny my instinctual jealousy, desire for power, need to be admired, want to make people feel guilty when they don’t do what I want from them, the need to stand out and be the only one, be disappointed with imperfection, etc. then I realize I’m going to project those traits on a supreme being.  God is all those things and more.

That certainly would help to begin to explain wars based upon religions, prejudice, and many of the crimes that occur daily...

I think the biggest shift from the supernatural to the natural, Glenda, was the development of science – Galileo, Darwin, Einstein, the Curries, are only a few who discovered a much larger world.  The world just got bigger and bigger.  The natural world is so much bigger and wondrous than the supernatural world revealed in holy books – creation and man 6,000 years old vs a world millions of years old – all of life can be put in an ark some 5,000 years ago vs Darwin’s discoveries of just how much life in lived in and under the dirt – the rainbow, why we have different languages, etc. all make the supernatural so simple compared to the complexity of the natural.  We now know that life can evolve from non-life (rocks that create a kind of chemical reaction in certain situations for example).  The more we learn about the things once thought supernatural leaves us with no need of the supernatural.  Things we can’t understand now will be explained in the future naturally.

Not totally comfortable that our world just popped up out of nothing...


Moving on to your Foreword and on into the book, could I ask you to define yourself as the type of spiritual person, if any, that you consider yourself now? This is partly asked based on your statement, "The person who knows his own instinctual heart soon realizes that God did not create us in His image, we created God in our image." I guess the bottom-line question that still burns for me is, "Do you believe in God?"

I believe in the gods of history, like I believe in temples and churches.  I see them everywhere and I see the gods they created everywhere.  All of us are unbelievers when it comes to all the gods throughout history.  Many make one exception that I do not make.

I'm not making light of what you are saying, but I just read a book about Egypt where, at the time, they had a god of crocodiles, for one. I'm not quite sure I can accept that "accepting" that the Egyptians "believed" in that god, would equate to my believing it that god or where he was worshipped... If we were truly having this discussion, I'd be calling for further discussion on this one! LOL...

I love how you express yourself, while standing firm on your statement. It shows the length and breadth of your study in arriving at your present life...

While recognizing that much of what you say here is true, I'm not sure it fits totally ...Accepting that God did not create us in His image, does not then mean that my instinct that there is a God is not correct. In fact, for me, most of my "God experiences" have totally taken me by surprise and could not, in my opinion, have  been generated by my own mind... Do we not have to naturally think of something before it enters our mind?

Moving into the body of the book must first start with the family and religion into which you were born. For some of us, when we read how strict your life was, we would today consider your family fanatics...  Calvinism (also called the Reformed tradition, Reformed Christianity or the Reformed faith) is a major branch of Protestantism that follows the theological tradition and forms of Christian practice of John Calvin and other Reformation-eratheologians" My question then relates to your opinion of your family environment versus the overall membership of the Church during your lifetime. It seemed to me that your strict home life surely led to the specific actions that finally evolved into your life today. Would you be willing to elaborate or hone in to specific issues that finally broke you away from your early beliefs?

Religious culture changes with the time and today we live in a much less authoritarian culture, than the culture of early Calvinism.  Calvin was a brilliant theologian, but also a fanatic in every sense of that word as we look back.  He put to death people who did not keep the Sabbath when he was ruler supreme in Switzerland.  Calvinists burned witches in New England and created Hawthorn’s Scarlet Letter.  The Dutch Calvinists that came to America in the early 1900’s were not that cruel, but were humorless and authoritarian, especially with children.  My parents were not cruel, but the God they presented to me was scary.  I think you bring up an interesting point.  If the psychological need for religion partly comes from our helplessness and the need for strong father, it creates a conflict.  The stronger the father the better the protection and the stronger the father the more he is to be feared when disobeyed.  I think for many the comfort of protection outweighed the fear of disobedience.  I certainly prayed to the strong father and received some comfort of protection, but the fear of punishment was stronger.  So when I realized that God was an illusion, it wasn’t as hard for me to give up the illusion of comfort to be rid of the fear of punishment.  I sometimes wonder if my religious life did not become so oppressive in time, would I have found the courage to confront the truth of it as I did.  It’s not a pleasant thought.  




How hard was it for you to finally accept that the Bible was not the Word of God?

That too turned out to be a conflict in the end.  After immersing myself in the Bible since childhood, I zealously defended it for years.  But when I became a minister I had to preach from the Bible two times each Sunday and teach it every Wed evening for 15 years.  The last few years became difficult.  I was continuing my education and my thinking was maturing.  There are many passages of the Bible that are very distasteful to human sensibilities and I mention many of them in the book.  The Bible began to shrink in terms of what I could preach about.  I found less and less helpful passages that I could bring to my congregation, but what choice did I have as a “prisoner of belief.”  Yes it was very difficult to confront the limitations of the Bible and see it as a very human book by ancient writers with ancient values.  But again, as it became more oppressive to my growing sensibilities it became a relief when I no longer had to treat it as the authoritarian message from an authoritarian God.

For me, I'm sure because of the lesser ties to religion itself, it was not hard for me to see the Bible as a historical book, written for the time...What was hard for me, however, was the "guilt" I've experienced because of the conflict between my intellect and my beliefs... 

You obviously were having trouble within your own family--what made it important enough to break with family and move in a different direction than your early life...

I never broke from my family.  My family broke from me, but they would see it the opposite.  When my critical thinking evolved I came to different conclusions than what was presented to me as the absolute orthodox position.  To question orthodoxy is to be disloyal and a betrayal of your religious team.  I had no problem with members of my family thinking differently than I did.  But to them I was betraying God and my Family and they had to relate to me accordingly.  I notice that Evangelicals among the young today are much less separatist as older evangelicals.  My siblings do not have any mutual friendships with non-evangelicals.  Their entire social life revolves around their church community.  They reach out to unbelievers and non-evangelicals to try and convert them.

Agreed! This is one of the things I've never been willing to accept...When each and every church or temple segregates from others, how, then, can we ever be a world of peace???

May I get a little more personal at this point by bringing up the issue of sex, not only within your own family, but as you began to consider your own sexuality. Your mother's guidance was extremely harsh, even during the years when we were growing up--to consider sex as not a meaningful part of family love which was only to be endured for the sake of having children--you were faced with an almost impossible situation to approach your own teen years, was it not?

The history of Christianity is the history of hating your natural desires.  To be holy is to be non-sexual or un-natural.  Christianity does not celebrate the sexual Mary who brought Jesus into the world, but the Virgin Mary that brought Jesus into the world.  The dogma of the Virgin Birth is something Fundamentalists and Catholics will die for.  Again with the sexual revolution of the ‘70’s and ‘80’s, where sexuality became fun and an essential part of being human, forced the church to loosen up a little.  But saving sex for marriage, not even living together with the partner you intend to marry, is still huge for evangelicals.  But as Mark Twain quipped, “The world has corrected the Bible.  The Church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail end of the procession – and take credit for the correction.”

Today evangelicals can celebrate a vital sexual life among married people, but only among married people who don’t get too kinky with each other. That could not be considered in the Victorian period which influenced my parents.  Of course Freud was the psychologist who discovered that this repression, hypocrisy and guilt was making people sick – both mentally and physically.  That’s interesting to me because Freud is thought of as this sexy guy when he was extremely sexually repressed by today’s standards. Living in a modern world with the weight of Victorian oppression and guilt was extremely crippling of my developing true self.  Developing a false self is not a joyous and free life. 

I have long wondered how the church has gotten away with the sexual ideas they've established... Especially when, there has always been sexual corruption of individuals within the church, initially hidden for many, many years by the Catholic Church... and later non-Catholic church leaders... And then brought to light as more and more denounced these actions.

As a single person, not necessarily by choice, many people face a life lacking intimacy, according to the church...or suffer guilt for even considering violating the rules!  Then there is the concept that "suicide bombers will get virgins in heaven for killing themselves and others."! My heart cries for those young people who are seduced by such lies... I once started to accumulate some books about the issue of sexuality in modern times...but was not successful in finding possible references (except for what you just said above, LOL) for justifying dogma-free sexual activity...

Still, the extent of abuse, degradation, and flaunting of sexuality across today's world, in every way appears to me, at least, to be based upon a lack of appropriate and understanding guidance from the church, the family, and all who are involved in making decisions. The explicit nature and the dangers of sex in today's world infuriates me! (By the way, I'll be sharing more on this area during the next week based upon another book...)

  
Given your own personal experiences, would you be willing to share your basic philosophy--your guidance--to teenagers and young adults regarding sexual activities?

Sexuality – Forget the rules, enjoy it.  It’s one of the most physical and emotional pleasures we can experience and it’s free, burns calories and keeps our minds and body stimulated and healthy.  When we lose all sexual interest (and I’m not talking just about intercourse) we become boring.  We are sexual beings and it’s a tragedy that religion and our puritanical roots can still make us feel guilty about it. But we can change that – not all at once of course, because our intellect is no match for early prohibitions that made no sense.

I raised 5 teenagers; 3 daughters and 2 sons.  I talked to them openly and realistically about sex.  I wanted them to be well informed about the psychological and biological realities of sex.  I wanted them to be in total control of how they explored their sexuality and to do this in a safe and healthy environment, both physically and emotionally.

Becoming a Christian and accepting Jesus as your personal savior was your first significant move away from your family's beliefs. From my reading, you seemed to really become more involved at this time and tuned in to the beliefs and gifts of the spirit. Tell me, if you would, how did you ultimately explain to yourself that speaking in tongues was not real, or if that is incorrectly stated, how did your thinking process allow you to ignore something that some call a supernatural event?

Becoming a Born Again Christian was something meaningful to me and somewhat outside the Calvinistic framework.  It was not my parent’s religion as such.  It was mine and appealed to young people.  It was a way of embracing a spirituality that facilitated an individuating process.  I’ll always appreciated it for that, though I find it hard to appreciate my fanaticism that came with it.  All my mental and psychological experiences were still thought of within a

religious framework.  How could it be any different?  When I realized the supernatural was really an activity of my own brain, I was awe struck at the beauty and depth of the natural world.  I still love to speak in tongues.  I do it when playing with my kids and wife and they try to shut me up with little effect.   

OK, I've already mentioned to you that this is a problem for me. I do not turn on tongues, nor did I set out to speak in tongues, nor have I expected them, when they actually occurred. Additionally, in my experience, I have had other experiences that had no explanation... 

For instance, once there were special missionary speakers coming to a local church and a friend invited me to attend. Prior to being invited, I had felt anxious, like something was going to happen... It did, after I had come home, I spoke in tongues and had a visual experience of being in a prison when apparently I was "filling in" for a loved one for a Siberian prisoner. I wrote to the individuals and they totally scoffed it off, setting about to prove that it was purely in my mind... and sexual in nature, which it was not... By the way, I had asked a friend to come be with me that night because I didn't know what to expect--so actually had a witness to the event... Soooooo, if this is really all in my mind and not supernatural, then, why oh why would all of these come to me from outside, as opposed to from my subconscious... I guess I'm disagreeing with you that there is not a supernatural experience that happens to people across the world... seemingly from a supreme being...

I began to speak in tongues after I heard it many times.  At a moment when I was so filled with joy and gratitude I just let myself go – like in a good orgasm.  Forming words were too restrictive.  It was a wonderful way to glorify God, who at the time was responsible for everything good in my life.  Allowing myself to be completely uninhibited and just letting unformed words to pour out of me was freeing and felt spiritual.  I can get in that state anytime, even playfully. 

It sounds it was very different for you, like being taken over by a spirit talking through you.  Of course it all goes on in our own brain and our brain is especially wired for seeing thing and hearing things and feeling things that seem outside the natural.  I have a good friend who is an intelligent mystic and he has all kinds of mystical experiences that cause him to totally disagree with me.  I think mystics are a certain breed who have a hard time realizing how their brain works.  If you are prone toward mystical experiences, it’ll be hard to see it in the natural world, but in cases like you, so what?  Maybe I’m still too ignorant in this area.

Ok, John, I allowed myself a little chuckle on "mystic" and then promptly went to the dictionary..a person who seeks by contemplation and self-surrender to obtain unity with or absorption into the Deity or the absolute, or who believes in the spiritual apprehension of truths that are beyond the intellect. 

For me, I've never questioned "what" it was...although every time it has happened, I've been told to, for instance, provide money to a stranger, or have gone into tongues when I've tried to pray for somebody about whatever was their health problem... Once I even read a book, perhaps something like yours, that threw me into total darkness, aloneness...After it was over, after having shared the experience with a friend who prayed for me, I got the message that the feeling was what people feel who do not believe in God... which, I acknowledge, could have been my own thoughts???

So I've always felt it was merely one of the gifts of the Spirit--The Word of Knowledge-- that had been given from the Holy Spirit..."The Word Of Knowledge, therefore, is knowledge received from the Holy Spirit to enable us to more effectively minister to the needs of people, to know and understand situations, circumstances, strategies of the enemy (kingdoms of darkness), etc. It enables us to knowhow to speak in the above situations with a knowledge that can surprise, baffle, dis-arm, open-up, bring answers, healing and understanding. The Word of Knowledge is one of the nine Gifts of the Holy Spirit which we read of in 1 Corinthians12:1-11. All these gifts are of the Holy Spirit, and are Spirit-inspired. They are supernatural in nature, to help the Spirit-filled believer to bring the presence and reality of the Living Christ into a situation, as well as to bring answers to humanity — both individually and collectively."

Since I do not know the source of these experiences, however, I would not argue with you, John...But I think I know why your friend has disagreed with you on his own experiences...Perhaps you should spend more time with him...discovering...LOL Teasing you a little... Maybe even we'll learn more Farther along... and, yes, the words are in another language on purpose...having fun on this! Perhaps at your and some other expense if you don't know the song, "Father Along..." (check for it on Utube if you want to hear the English.)

I found it interesting that, in studying for your early careers as minister, you were able to research sufficiently that you came to discredit much of what you were being taught. Knowing that few conduct research like you have done, do you think that your book will impact the "average" Christian?

I hope so because I think “Truth” is still a very important value.   The pursuit of it not only makes one more connected with the real and more alive (not always the most fun) but also any real advancement in the quality of human life depends on it.  My book certainly does not contain “the truth” but I hope it shows how satisfying it is for the average person to become a “lover of wisdom.”

As you have mentioned, we do seem to grow wiser as we grow older. You have written your book, but I find little about you anywhere on the Internet... Do you feel that having shared your story is sufficient:

I love how much the internet has given to my life, but my life is about connecting deeply with people.  To do that I need to see the facial expressions that change by the second, to smell the smells,  hear the tones, feel the touch of the skin if nothing more than a handshake, hear the quietness, experience the experience and encourage people to live a less robotic and mechanical life.  I think there is a danger to value efficiency more than slowness and I don’t want to live in a world where slowness disappears.  The man on the street slows down when he starts feeling and thinking.  The man who wants to get away from his inner thoughts quickens his pace.  I want people to hurry and read my book, a book about my slowness.  I want to engage with thinking people, but I don’t want to take the time to do social media.  What a paradox.

Well said. Recently your peer, (a little kidding there) "Dr. Phil" hosted a program about a family whose mother had apparently kidnapped two daughters...Her brother calmly claimed that he had put everything out on social media so everybody could be involved... I thought...What in the world are we coming to that everybody wants to share those most intimate details on the Internet for everybody to know about... Reality shows, to me, are scary and reflect a psychologically infected society... I wish you well in finding those who are willing to think about whether they, too, are prisoners of belief and allow your book to speak to them...

No, John, it makes perfect sense to me, especially given your primary purpose in writing your book... Still, as I said yesterday, if I had the money and ability, I'd see that everybody in the world would have a copy...not kidding... If we humans cannot wise up and question, this world will continue further into the depths of war and depravity--just my opinion, of course...

I agree with you that each of us have been indoctrinated into a belief system long before we could think for ourselves. I remember back in the early 60s I wrote a response to an article for the campus newsletter about confirming and/or finding your own beliefs. For me that has worked fairly well. But, tell me, why did you feel you had to totally separate yourself from religion, if indeed that is what you've done.

I don’t know if totally separating myself from religion captures it for me, Glenda, though you have a right in your perceptions of course.  I would say when I came to the end of the road with religion I just kept going.  For many explorers of what’s real, religion becomes part of the process that wears itself out in time, and one must go on without dragging it along.

An excellent response...

You've struck upon an issue for myself that continues to haunt me...Having a personal savior is, in a worldly term, a security blanket. I never feel alone. The Holy Trinity is there...always... Tell me why you see this as a problem. Consider the groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous who have a Higher Power as part of their programs. Every group of people throughout the ages have "created" a God to worship. To me, that says that we humans see that there is something more powerful than us, that we have an inborn need to recognize that "other."
Intellectually disproving many of the world's religious books, including the Bible, doesn't to me, change that very personal human need... Thoughts?

As a psychologist I want to help people see that the power they often attribute to God is really a power they can access in themselves, but if someone is helped in kicking a destructive addiction through appealing to a higher power, do we really want to argue with that?  I still have all the mystic experiences I had when I was a believer.  But knowing that these are a part of my natural brain and the wonders of the natural world, seems to make them more wondrous for me.  

But there is this trap that religious people fall into that does not serve them well.  All the good things that come into their lives they attribute to God and his blessings and all the bad things they attribute to their lack of faith etc.  (Or the Devil...) They rob themselves of feeling good about what they have accomplished, but take all the responsibility for the bad; not a good psychological outcome for a person. I totally agree! 

But there are no atheists in foxholes they say so in moments of terror it is quite natural to call out for the great protector.  Again, so what?  I think we must respect another’s religion in the same way we respect a child’s belief that her father is the strongest man in the world.  Of course we fear our legitimate helplessness as we fear death.  But once we acknowledge that fear, it becomes less fearful.  We can face those fears and live with them without ruining our lives.

If I had more time to argue, then I would ask about all the violence that has and is still being caused by religion against religion...for me, it is hard to accept that everybody who believes that America is "lost" since we do not believe as others, means that our "religions" MUST be viewed as the main problem in the world... Actually, I would not be arguing with you, but wanted to clarify my thoughts about violence based upon religion...any religion...

I recognize that your experiences has allowed you to see "the difference between knowledge born out of loyalty to a belief system and knowledge gained through self experience and insight. I have no problem with agreeing. Again, there would be a lot less violence world-wide, if all of us did more of this, rather than following the mandates of authoritarian leaders. But, don't you think that your book, itself, can lead to doubts and questions that some people cannot deal with alone?

Of course.  But haven’t you experienced the difference, as I have, between a teacher who insists on thinking for us and a teacher who inspires our own good thinking?  Thinking through our own lives and being grounded in our own earned realities gives us great confidence and psychological power.  We become a voice instead of an echo.  We have a kind of earned wisdom we get to share in any serious conversation.  Most people don’t listen to people who are right, but they listen to people talk about things that have captured their best mindfulness.

Well said...

Your turning to psychology, in your desire to help people, is a perfect alternative for you in my opinion. Your experience and self-reflection now allows you to be more objective in evaluating and helping to respond to the needs of others. I wonder though, most of us are uniquely alone in facing some situations, even if we are in the midst of a family. Is there not somewhere a balance between faith and religion? Can we not acknowledge that man-made rituals and symbols have proven to be not only false, but many times dangerous--leading to wars, suicide bombers, hating anybody different, etc. without "throwing out the baby with the wash water?"

The idea that religion helps raise the morality of a person and society is a great myth.  Parents with little religious convictions want their children to have some sort of religious training for that reason.  What we really mean is that for people to be moral they need policing. Unfortunately that is not a myth.  I think history and empirical research has shown that religion has little to do with morality.  Human morality is a part of our evolution as well as cruelty.  A religious person who has achieved a morality that needs not be policed, will use his religion to motivate great moral sensitivities and action.  The person who is cruel will use his religion to support his cruelty.  It’s not religion, but the person behind the religion. Is there anyone more religious than Isis or the Pope?  Isis uses their religion in a way that make other Muslims cringe.  The present Pope is the only Pope ever to address the dangers of unregulated capitalism and environmental responsibility.  Is it because he is Catholic or the Pope?  I don’t think so.  Catholicism has been around a long time and there have been many Popes that were silent on these issues. It’s because he seems to be a very decent human being, who also happens to be a Catholic and the Pope.  If he were a secularist, he would be concerned with the same things, because that is who he is morally, not what religion banner he does or does not fly.  Of course we all need policing at junctures of our lives, but to achieve a morality that needs little policing will not come from the religious police.  We have it in ourselves to be good and fair to one another. Why not keep working on that reality?      

I thing we agree more than disagree and your book has certainly been of help to me as I move forward in discovering my own reality... I remember a former boss of mine who had rejected his religious background...but he was such a moral man... I just knew that because he was no longer involved with the church did not make him a changed man. Most time, logic works for me when I stop to consider--except, of course, when my emotions overrule...LOL... I admit it! Will I be able to settle my contradictory thoughts on Christianity and religious dogma in particular, the thing is I'm not sure I want to...even if my logic tells me what you have gone through is similar to what my life's inner thoughts have been... What I do acknowledge is that I have some strong feelings that much attributed to religion, no matter which, is ridiculous and many are not strong enough to consider that the religious doctrine is the problem, not their own minds... Myself included in that, though still working on it!

Thank you so much for taking the time to share with me and readers here at Book Readers Heaven...  Let me know how you are doing in light of your book being out...and keep me involved when your insight...changes... Perhaps you might even come to visit here again in the future! Thank you, most of all, for your book and patience in answering my questions about the concept of Belief!


Glenda

John Van Dixhorn, PHD, Presents Personal Memoir, Prisoner of Belief... Author Discussion Next...

John Van Dixhorn started his professional life as Basketball Coach and Athletic Director at Trinity College in Deerfield, IL. He did his theological training at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and was ordained with the Evangelical Free Church of America. He became a pastor to churches in New City, NY, Naperville, IL, and Orange, CA.
He went on to get a master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He did post-doctorate work in psychoanalysis and became a Certified Psychoanalyst in California.
He was an award winning faculty member and Training and Supervising Analyst for the Newport Psychoanalytic Institute in Tustin, CA and for five years served as the director.
He lives with his wife, Jana, in Palm Springs, CA where he has a private practice.
~~~
From the Back Cover...

Prisoner of Belief by John Van Dixhorn is the tale of a man who fights for his soul against the crushing power of religious orthodoxy and evangelical zealotry to become a modern man in the modern world. Raised by rigid Calvinists, Van Dixhorn became an evangelical minister, a successful pastor with prosperous churches. But intellectual honesty and emotional longing led him to challenge his faith, his church, his family, his friends and his vocation...and to eventually leave the ministry and become a secular psychologist.

To live this life and write this book takes courage. Prisoner of Belief, then, is a memoir of a courageous man. Through the numerous sharp and painful (and sometimes very funny) anecdotes we begin to realize what it means to confront all the significant figures and forces in one's life, from self to mom, to brother, church, faith, ideology, Jesus, and finally to God...and the world-view that holds all this together in one neat theological package.

Van Dixhorn provides enough historical background so that otherwise obscure theology may be understood. As a psychologist, Van Dixhorn takes us deeper to see how doctrine affects emotional life, how belief affects our psyche, our sexuality, and our sense of self. As Van Dixhorn leads us through his life, we learn so much from this honest and courageous story. --Geoffrey Sarkissian Graduate of Fuller Seminary

Prisoner of Belief
One Man's Odyssey to Reclaim His Soul--
From Evangelical Minister to Searching Psychologist

From John Van Dixhorn, PHD

              

Christianity from the beginning was a religion that feared the passions and showed a hatred for--being human.  It was a utopian religion, in that humans could become more like God. My mother tried to make that utopian myth a reality. She took seriously what the church fathers called "Christian marriage" (marriage without sex) and compromised herself only enough to have children.

My mother knew well that sex outside of procreation was shameful. When sinless Adam and Eve sinned, the first thing they experienced was sexual shame and had to cover their nakedness. Nothing shows our sinfulness more than sex.

What she didn't know that that a culture obsessed with sexual purity has a great potential for violence. Classical civilization and Judaism had long taught that sexual pleasure was harmless as long as it was free of cruelty and force. But the greatest periods of violence by the early church were always accompanied by demands for sexual purity and severe punishment of the violators. The Victorian and Puritanical age exemplify this concept. Fortunately my mother's piety avoided cruelties. How much her inner life suffered with an unavoidable shame I only know by reading her teenage diary, which I found buried in one of her drawers when my curiosity about what was in my parents's bedroom got the best of me. It was a diary of her unworthiness before God, even more severe than mine.

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who
fears the Lord, she shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

I was twelve years old when I was taken to the bedside of my Grandpa Kranendonk. I was told he wouldn't make it through another night. This was my first real encounter with death. It was scary and I could see he was dying. I wanted to get away, but my mother said, "Pa, it's your grandson, John. He wants to say goodbye to you."

She put my hand on his and he grasped it saying nothing. In my emotiional state I blurted out, "Grandpa, I know I'll see you again in heaven."

In that tender moment his weak voice, in broken English and in a strong Dutch accent, rebuked me and said I should be careful saying that. Only God determined that and if he ended up in hell he would glorify God from hell. I was flooded with shame and felt foolish. He was a stoic Calvinist to the end...

Sometimes I wonder why this type of book reaches me, don't you? Over 1000 of you came to read the review and discussion with Lee Harmon, author of The River of Life... Many other fiction books regarding issues that concern me also brings readers to Book Readers Heaven. We are curious humans, if nothing else...

As a child in the late 1930s and 40s, little did I know
that I was sharing a common experience, not only
with my American Christian peers, but also with
most of the children of devout Jewish parents in
Europe and the children of devout Muslims in Asia.
We were taught that the existence of God was
obvious--beyond demonstration--though we were
shown demonstrations everywhere. We had our
Holy Books, the direct revelations from the one
true God. It was beyond belief; it was fact.
Unquestionably true.
Those who denied these "truths" were not just
mistaken or misguided. Oh no, it was much worse
and more disastrous, and unbelievably so. Our
forefathers killed and were killed for it. For
Christians and Muslims, at least, there would be a
literal Hell to pay if we did not submit. At best,
we'd be permanently separated from our loved
ones and from God. We could not imagine it
being any other way. We were Fundamentalists.
We were Orthodox. The details of our religions
were somewhat different, but we shared the same
psychological makeup. We were of the same
spirit, the same essence in spite of outward
appearances and linguistic and cultural
differences.

But many of us specifically seek answers about our spiritual lives... As has author, John Van Dixhorn... He wrote the book at the age of 76, to confirm his thoughts and actions throughout his life and to ensure when he was gone, his truth would be available...

He said,

If you want a religion that brings comfort to your fears and peace to your soul, become a true believer and don't question it.

Yes, I wanted that, but... then he said,

If you want a religion that is true, become a questioner and let unfold what must...

And that's when he hooked me, as early as in the Introduction...

As you can see, I've spotlighted his education and experience background to highlight Dr. Van Dixhorn's expertise in writing the book he's sharing with you, the readers. This is always important to me. In this book, written in memoir form, there is both the story of the author's life, as well as documentation and discussion as to why and how the changes were made in his life, to present role of, psychologist...

Using the format of memoir allowed the author to speak openly and honestly about how his life evolved. It is an excellent story that, I believe, will capture the hearts and minds of anybody who reads it... For some, like me, it might mean much more than just reading another memoir or about a man's religious philosophy...

Much of what is Prisoner of Belief may hit you directly where you've been struggling...

John Van Dixhorn was born into a religious family structure that was mandated by the faith of their fathers' religion... Much like, my guess is, you and I. For many years he lived within the role established for family members. But John had a mind that started to think for himself... and he questioned the specifics about those in his religion, learned through his first religion. 

...What a freedom to be the master of your own spiritual life and have your own personal highway to God...

But Martin, why did you kill all those Anabaptists who took their religious freedom beyond your domain?

And John, when you became the ruler supreme, why did you have people punished, even put to death, when they didn't keep the religious laws of Geneva? You had Servetus burnt for not believing in the Trinity. You brought liberation from the Catholic stranglehold on people, only to bring your own style of oppression, so much for religious freedom.
Neighter did John Calvin bring freedom to me, personally...

Asking Jesus into my heart was moving
for me. I meant it. I knew I was a sinner
and felt bad about it. Knowing I could
be forgiven and go to heaven even though
was a sinner was beyond my imagina-
tion. My brother told me I had become
"born again" and now I was saved.
Now I had a testimony to give. I could
get up in testimony meetings and tell
people how I got saved and what it
meant for me...
~~~

He went on to later "be saved" into knowing Christ as his savior...and received many blessings during that time, except that, he began to question what the Holy Bible said...

"Flee also youthful lusts...call on the Lord with a pure heart." (11 Timothy 2:22)

As John moved toward his teens, thoughts of sex started... One of the important issues covered is the erotic struggles of a teenager... I have long felt that the church, any religion, has failed miserably in providing guidance and reality assistance to individuals about their sexuality. There is no other explanation for a Christian, in my opinion, to see the present state of the world regarding sex and all it has become! Of course, the Bible does nothing in this regard--there is only one way to remain your entire life, or as some are taught, to become a suicide bomber and receive virgins as your reward in Heaven... Or through some other "story" to explain why to be celibate...

The author's revelations were not surprising in this area--his first sight of the sex act was between animals, he was told that masturbating was sinful and was even told that others would know it because the whites of his eyes would yellow... But what is really the issue regarding sex for Christians, and others...?

Moving into the age of his career choice was the most revelatory... especially, "What about this Bible?"

Sometimes, if our need to believe is great, our best intelligence
is used to defend ignorance. My need to believe was too great
to let these academic realities get in the way.
~~~

One would think that seminary would be a place
in which a young man would become more
convinced than ever of his faith. I went to
seminary to learn how to convinced the world of
true Christianity. I though the problem was that
people weren't aware of that truth, and once
they heard it, they'd have to face it. I never
dreamt I would have to do this with inferior
ammunition. There is a danger in studying
things in greater depth...
~~~

Why would a universal God, whose message was a matter of life or death for all eternity, use such a non-universal means to communicate such an essential message? Jesus was the person who wanted to show us most clearly who God was. If writing is God's way, why didn't Jesus write at least something? He didn't even pay much attention to the scriptures that existed in his time.


The trouble for John really began when he had gone through seminary, was preaching, and found that there were few parts of the Bible about which he could fully create and teach on The Word...

When a man who has chosen to minister as his career no longer finds it is possible, he looks within himself to realize that he still wants to help people. John Van Dixhorn did not quickly make the decision to further his education in Psychology. You will find his deep commitment to searching for the way to be a real and faithful evangelic minister was not an easy road to take. I applaud him for sharing the deep and gut-wrenching thoughts and actions he took to become who he is today. 

I want to quickly say that this book, is in no way, an attempt to bring readers around to his way of thinking...it is his story and his alone to tell. It rings true, I believe, and has not been censored to try to garner great masses of reader attention. Yet, in my opinion, it is his openness and attention to detail of what he went through, that will cause readers to be willing to listen to his story...

You just might find something that I did..a balance against which you can consider or reconsider your own beliefs...  For me, it has to be considered a must-read... If I had the money and the guts, I would place this book into the hands of every person in the world who believes that their holy writings are truly God's words, for each and every one of us to follow...


GABixlerReviews


PLEASE NOTE THAT MY DISCUSSION WITH DR. VAN DIXHORN, WILL BE TOMORROW, UNLESS SOMETHING HAPPENS TO CHANGE THAT...
DON'T MISS IT!

Coming Soon--Prisoner of Belief by John Van Dixhorn, PhD - What's Happening at Book Readers Heaven...

In 1971, I read a book that started to change my thinking process... In those days, I was reading a lot of self-help/how-to books, many of them Christian-based...

This little book was fun to read and although I don't remember much about the actual content (it's now been updated and republished), I remember that one of the main points was that I could be a Christian without being religious... To me that meant, mostly, the dogma of the Church and to some extent, the Bible...

I became somewhat addicted to buying such books and still have many on my bookshelves! Some I have even read, but felt a need to have them--of course, I now recognize that I love having books surround me and as long as I can pick out something that might be of interest at any given time, that I have not already read, then, I am happy...

But it was not until I became publicly an independent book reviewer--that is, I had reviewed many books before then, but had never shared my availability to accept and read, then write, reviews... The first few books that challenged my belief system were extremely hard to do. But I was committed to my desire to be as objective as I could be in creating my reviews. I remember the first book I reviewed...I was disgusted but had to figure out how to review the book...In fact, the basic theme was that a former Christian had changed his profession to psychologist...the same as Dr. Van Dixhorn. That book, however, did nothing but write about all the negative things that was wrong with Christianity and then declared, more or less, that you should follow his footsteps...  

Not so, with the book I'll be showcasing soon, Prisoner of Belief. Watch for it shortly after 8-1!

The last two days have been spent in dealing with medical issues...feeling much better... All of my long-term medications have been changed! I was floored! Apparently it is possible that medication becomes toxic after some period long-term use. The buildup from the toxicity was slow over a year and I didn't realize what was happening until I was almost unable to lift my feet... Would you believe that the day after, and on a new medication, the heaviness went away!? I'm telling you this because some of you may have similar experiences with medication and this might be something for you to check out with your doctor--or maybe even a new doctor!

It's been a good month with a lot of great books, don't you think?! Hits for the month for both blogs was 18,536 with more visits from South Korea! Cool, right! It's great to have visitors from all over the world, some of who become regulars... I notice that different types of books brings in different and new individuals, hopefully some staying for more than the book they've become interested in...

But back to the review and discussion with Dr. Van Dixhorn. The last similar discussion with Lee Harmon drew over 1000 hits...People are interested in this topic, just as I am! This next one is different since it is in the form of a memoir and shares personally on how he reached the decisions he ultimately made. His book doesn't try to persuade, it merely states the facts from his own life--a fascinating one, I might add... I do welcome and hope you join us as we discuss how an individual becomes a prisoner of belief...you may discover that you, too, may be a prisoner and need to escape...

Special shout-out thanks to the expert who calmed my fears and then helped me understand what an echocardiogram was all about...This poor woman daily has her body abused by helping others gets their bodies in the correct positions in our need for detailed heart information... I am eternally grateful!

More soon!