Monday, October 29, 2018

Guest Blogger, Guy Graybill, Shares With Us Today - Ruminations or Just Plain Thoughts?


I went to a party the other night.  At the party I met Wilbur, who had told me earlier that he, too, would be “attending the pending soiree.”  Wilbur says that he is “an author and a member of the literati.”  The only writing that I do is an occasional letter to the editor of our local newspaper (or “journalistic enterprise” as Wilbur always call it).

During the evening, I spent a fair part of the time talking with Wilbur.  He said that he appreciated having someone with whom he “could share a smidgen of nocturnal tète-à-tête.”  As usual, I had more to eat than I should have; although Wilbur, the author, also admitted that he, too, “had gormandized and was now woefully bloated, having consumed more gastronomic delights than is cricket.”

Later in the evening, I began to act a bit silly.  When Wilbur told me that I “must be bloated with glucose and performing indecorously,” I decided to leave.

When I said “goodnight” to him, Wilbur said that I shouldn’t “depart so peremptorily,” since he needed “conveyance, not wishing to peregrinate at such an advanced hour,” and that he was also ready to return to his “motley domicile.”  I offered him a ride.

As I drove toward Wilbur’s house, he said that I “should moderate the velocity of that powerful mechanical contrivance a mite,” so I cut the speed.  Since I hardly spoke during the ride, he eventually suggested that my “bloated condition must be the principal cause of the inscrutable silence.”  When we finally arrived at his house, Wilbur turned and said that he would be “eternally indebted for the gesture, so generously proffered.”  He also said that he was grateful for having been so “expeditiously and safely transported to the intended destination.”

As I drove away, I kept asking myself what it is that bothers me about my friend, Wilbur.  He seems pleasant enough; but, I just don’t enjoy being with him.  Whatsoever it is about Wilbur that irritates me, I just hope that it isn’t something that is communicable and, perhaps, deleterious to one’s acquaintances….  

© Guy Graybill

I was quite deliciously taken with this
tidbit of a mischievous look at the spoken word...
As a reader, I enjoy such excursions into
the breadth of our English language,
Indeed, it was a wonderful adventure--
for a party, you said!!!

Thanks to Guy Graybill for this fun contribution!
Check out his latest non-fiction book!

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