All God's children are not beautiful. Most of
God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
We've been trying to have a kid. Well, she was
trying, I just laid there.
The thing that impresses me most about America
is the way parents obey their children.
--Duke of Windsor
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so
ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man
around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much he had learned in seven years.
Children make the most desirable
opponents in Scrabble as they are both
easy to beat and fun to cheat.
A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother.
A happy childhood is poor
preparation for human contact.
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her
middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
The best way to keep children at home
is to make the atmosphere pleasant--
and let the air out of the tires.
It is no wonder that people are so horrible
when they start life as children.