Friday, December 9, 2022

C. K. Laurence - The Mystery of Jessica Benson - An Extraordinary Dive into Sports, Spectacle and Sex!

 

Led Zeppelin was singing about a stairway to heaven while Kyle was feeling as though he was trapped in hell. Every time he moved, it seemed, he walked into another land mine. The bombs were fragmenting his psyche and it was getting more difficult by the day to think straight or reason right. He ran his months with Jessica over and over in his head. The closer he came to finding some answers, the more devastating the next explosion. ​He had always suspected Jessica’s agenda included men other than himself. James had sure nudged him often enough about it. But after their visit with Luke Arnold, the extent of her betrayal—and Gloria DiAngelo’s as well—overwhelmed him...

~~~


Spending about four years online with C.K. merging our emotional responses of the chaotic political arena in which we found ourselves "fighting" for change, certainly makes one feel like we are trusted acquaintances... But never during that time, had I thought of her life outside of that shall, we say, Obsession...?! LOL

But I was pleasantly surprised when C.K. announced that her book, The Mystery of Jessica Benson, was available... Of course, all my readers know that I love mysteries. Still, there is an entire world in which to set a book, and I had discovered that this writer is not only writing about sports, but has an active career in the field. I admit I learned this at the end of the book, so admit I was shocked when her expertise was very apparent--at least to me, who has little interest in anything using a ball, except, maybe, bowling...LOL

Still, overall, this book was one of the best whodunits I've read for a long time!  The story is fast-paced because of the setting where ball players gain such notriety that their personal lives often are known to the world... Yet, for many, that is only a small percentage of those who actually wish to participate in the spectacle that comes with celebrity... Kyle Sands was one of those figures who normally played it lowkey, as a veteran quarterback for the Miami Demons.

Until he became involved with model Jessica Benson.

Even then he was not totally happy with what he was beginning to hear about her when he had out-of-town games and decided to call it off, unfortunately, over dinner... Which turned into a fiasco that was seen and heard by all participants in the restaurant and by neighbors when he escorted her home... 

Which made him the prime suspect for when she was discovered beaten to death in her apartment--the same apartment where Kyle had left her that evening...

Readers learn early in the book that one of the homicide investigators assigned to solve the case of Jessica Benson, is someone who had been the younger sister of a friend of Kyle's who had died early. It was a traumatic experience for both Kyle and Karen Brandt. So when Will and Karen arrive, to talk to Kyle, who apparently was the last person to see Jessica alive, Karen played it so that she would not seem to know him so she would not be kicked off the case before the investigation even started.

Too soon, there were so many people with whom Jessica had been involved--yes--sexually, that most of the homicide division was soon involved in trying to gather anything that could tie the murder to someone.  And, that, for Karen, meant anybody else but Kyle.

Laurence briefly mentions early that Karen's partner  is in love with Karen, although not ever discussed. But, when Will sees the quick sign of recognition (or, really, a sign of interest in each other by the two), as lead investigator he pulls out all the stops to ensure a quick arrest and conviction of the quarterback...

Playing a bad cop during any and all interviews, including getting quite belligerant toward those who he felt he could threaten in any way; e.g., from a different country, toward a gay witness... Karen was fuming and didn't know how to handle his fixation, except to keep on forcing other options to be considered...

Until a second murder occurred...


A black Jaguar sat in the huge circular driveway at the address Feyzi had given Karen. The ornate wrought iron gate was wide open, like an invitation. She cautiously pulled through and parked behind the Jag but remained sitting in her car for another minute. Only two days had passed since they had first questioned Feyzi Batan. Although he was obviously shaken by their visit, today when she got his call, he sounded like a desperate man. His exact words were he was ‘sick at heart’ since the interview and needed to ‘cleanse his soul’ to rid himself of the bad karma. Whatever, Karen thought. So long as you give up a piece of this puzzle. She got out of her car, quickly surveyed the grounds and headed toward the guest house, which she assumed was somewhere behind the main residence. ​The backyard was a tropical haven. Mango and citrus trees dotted the lawn and multi-colored bougainvilleas lined the gate walls. Banana plants with heavy hanging arms, the hands of which sported full fingers of ripe, yellow bananas. Various fruits were scattered throughout the property, and a twenty yard square was cordoned off with a carefully tended vegetable garden. Slabs of peach and russet slate led down to a wooden dock. A yacht Karen figured to be about a sixty-footer was docked there and quietly bobbed with the ripples of the teal bay. Eden, Karen thought. Just stay away from those nasty old apples and you never need to leave the estate. ​

Feyzi’s so-called cottage was a replica of the main house and sat very close to the dock. She rang the bell and could hear chimes inside. A minute or so passed with no answer so she rang again and called out his name. Still no response. Something wasn’t right. He had been too anxious to meet with her not to be around. She banged on the door a couple of times, and then, suspicious, she tried the handle. It was locked. She stepped through a hedge of plumbago to get to his front windows and peered inside. Nothing. She blew out a stream of air in disgust and turned to leave. It looked like another lead was slipping through her fingers. ​When she was almost to her car, she thought to check the main residence to see if perhaps he was waiting for her there. She muttered to herself that she should have checked the big house in the first place. Yes, he had probably decided to wait for her there and that was why the gate had been open. 

The wooden door was huge, very impressive, as was everything on the estate. She leaned on the bell and again heard chimes sounding very much like parents to the ones in the back cottage. ​In less than a minute the door cracked open a notch. A woman with short, spiky blonde hair and a cigarette dangling from her mouth looked out at her. She was clearly on the other side of fifty, looking a bit annoyed and rather curious. ​“Something you need?” she asked in a raspy, smoke-burnt voice. ​

Karen flashed her badge and said “Detective Brandt, police, ma’am.” 

​The woman’s brows lowered, and she said “Police? Sorry honey, you got the wrong house,” then she started to close the door. 

​“Wait!” Karen snapped. I don’t have the wrong anything. I need to speak with your tenant, Feyzi Batan, Is he here?” ​The door opened. The chunky lady stepped out and asked, “Feyzi? Is he in trouble?” ​“That’s what I need to speak with you about.” ​

The woman beckoned Karen to follow her inside. She introduced herself as Mazie Rose. “I knew it. I just knew it! I told that boy he was going to get himself into a shitload of trouble. Too many women with husbands and boyfriends, and his workouts weren’t just aerobics. So, who’d he finally piss off?” “I don’t know that he pissed anyone off, Ms. Rose. He’s a possible witness in a murder case. He called me about an hour and a half ago and said he needed to talk to me, but now that I’m here, he isn’t.” 

“Hmmm. That’s curious, even for Feyzi. He’s pretty good about keeping appointments. Time is money, you know. How about some coffee. We’ll talk.” ​“Thanks, no. But about Feyzi...” “A Danish maybe? From Epicure, very fresh. Excellent.” Karen shook her head and said she had just had a big lunch. Then she cleared her throat and asked, “Did he mention anything about what’s been going on?” “Like what, honey? Are you sure he isn’t in any trouble?” “That’s what I’m trying to find out. So, has he mentioned anything at all to you about the Jessica Benson murder? Or about anything at all that might be unusual, even for him?” 

"Nah. I’ve been holed up here working on some paintings and haven’t seen much of him lately. Usually we visit two, three times a week. He cooks me up a little of that Turkish coffee he makes, and sometimes we munch some baklava. He even tries to get me in shape when he has some extra time, light exercises, you know? None of ’em are light enough for me, though. I get jazzed up and it aggravates my smoker’s cough.” She laughed, but it was broken up by a fit of phlegmy hacking. “See. Just thinking about it aggravates the cough! I gotta get off these things.” She nodded her head toward the cigarette she was lighting. “My cousin the doctor says they’re bad for my health. But what isn’t bad for you today? Don’t eat red meat, too much fat. Stop the fish, too much mercury. Chicken? Hormones! 

I’m glad I’m closer to going out than coming in. Another couple of years and between the food, the air we breathe, and the terrorist attacks, what do we do? Stay duck-taped in our homes with canned crap to eat, and watch government terror alerts change colors.” Karen nodded, prompting her to continue. Mazie looked down at her watch and said, “Look doll, I’m late for my nail appointment and that’s sacred. A bunch of us old broads have been meeting at Toy’s Place for over twenty years. It’s a religion. Saves a bundle on psychiatry bills. ​“I’ll do you one quick favor, though. Come with me.” She gestured for Karen to follow her and headed toward the back of the house. ​Karen’s eyes were big. Each room was more magnificent than the next. The ceilings must have been twenty-five feet high, but there was a coziness about the place. It was warm, inviting and saturated with class.               

“You don’t live here alone?” she asked. ​“Most of the time. My nephew’s away at school, but when he’s in town he stays with me. And my grandson—only eighteen months old and already a heartbreaker, poo poo poo—comes to me when my daughter’s miserable husband allows it. That’s usually when he wants to go out and they can’t find a sitter. ​“The kid’s a genius. Not just because he’s mine, no one’s more objective than me. I’m telling you, the kid’s a genius!” ​They entered a small sunroom off the kitchen. It was an artist’s studio with canvasses in various stages of finish lining the walls. An easel stood in the middle of the room displaying a brightly colored modern piece. ​“Your work is so Brito,” Karen said, referring to the popular South Beach artist. ​“I guess that calls for a thank you. He certainly has inspired my style. C’mon, stay with me here.” 

She opened French doors to the outside and led Karen around to the side of the house. ​“Ha. I thought so. His motorcycle is still here, so he has to be in his place. Feyzi doesn’t go anywhere without the bike. It’s his car.” ​“I rang the bell and called to him,” Karen replied. “This is strange. Considering that he phoned me and was in such a hurry to speak with me. It took me longer than I thought to get over here, though, and maybe something better to do came along. I don’t know, I’m just not feeling good about this.” 

​“Now this is odd. He usually has his mashugana music blasting. Says it keeps his mood aligned with his body or the moon or some such nonsense. So what’s it to me? If it makes him happy, fine. He’s a good tenant, and today that’s a difficult commodity to find. Aw, truth is, I like the kid. He’s got a good heart.” ​“You got a key?” Karen asked. ​“You got a warrant?” Mazie shot back. ​“No, I don’t want to search his place. I just thought maybe you could go in there and make sure everything’s okay. I think something’s off.” ​

“All right. I know what you mean. He’d almost have to be dead not to have his music blaring.” She lit yet another cigarette and sucked in a chest full of smoke, which threw her into another coughing spell. When it ended, she gasped, “Sometimes I think my cousin might be right.” ​“Well, um, that is a pretty nasty cough you have there.” ​“Yeah, really. Honey, I hear that so many times a day I should write a book about it. 

Let’s go. I’ll get my key and we can make sure everything’s copesthetic with my boy here.” She looked at her watch and said, “Damn. I’m going to have to call Toy and tell her I’m running late.” ​Mazie told Karen to wait in the living room, where she tried to make herself comfortable on a Jean Harlow lounger. But the detective’s mind was racing and none of her thoughts were good. Her sixth sense had kicked in and she was anxious to get into that back house to allay her fears. ​“Okay, doll face. Let’s go see what’s going on at Feyzi’s.” It took a moment to adjust to the darkness in the guest house. The silence was deafening, and it smelled like pot with an overlay of incense. Patchouli, Karen thought. She remembered the scent from her early years. Her mother was a flower child in the 1960s and people were always teasing that she got time-warped and never made the transition to the conservative world of today. Karen couldn’t remember when, if ever, her mother had been without a cause to champion. 

​Mazie’s gravelly voice snapped her from her musings. ​“Feyzi! Hey! You got company.” There was no response. “His bedroom’s just upstairs, I’ll check on him.” Then she stopped and looked back at Karen. “You know what? You should come with me. The exercise’ll do you good.” ​“I’m right behind you.” Karen stayed close. Even in the guest house the appointments were exceptional. A sleek wood banister led up a graceful curve of heavily carpeted stairs. ​Mazie walked into one of the bedrooms without announcing herself. There was a short silence and then she bolted back out and grabbed Karen. ​“Oh my God, no!” She burst into a retching cough and Karen thought for a moment the poor woman was going to vomit. Then she got it together and gasped, “Karen! Come! It’s Feyzi!” And then she continued coughing. ​

Gunpowder. The smell of cordite accosted Karen’s senses. Mazie stood there with her mouth hanging open, her eyes the size of tennis balls. She reached out toward the body. Karen blurted, “Don’t touch anything!”

~~~

Aside from the actual players and associated staff related to football, I wanted to share the above scene which has no ability to give something away, except how wonderfully the author has written this particular character, who I really enjoyed getting to know through her words, and all of the other characters that were so wonderfully designed, as well as the solid, scenic description of those places used within the area where the author writes, such as City Hall (the restaurant).


Seriously, folks, the climax of this book is exceptionally spectacular--extraordinary--and truly unforgettable! Perhaps the best I have ever read--until Laurence's next book, at least...! And, she's done it right, by clearing all the questions that sometimes are left hanging...Hey, C. K. are there other books out there waiting? Without being a sports fan, I've still selected you as a new favorite author!


GABixlerReviews

Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Quoting Dylan Thomas Death Shall Have No Dominion - Featuring Dean Koontz - The Other Emily...

 

“Loneliness, enduring fear, a sense that society has gone mad and I’m falling, falling through the madness of it. That's horror enough for me...

Listen, the world is going to hell. Maybe it’s always been going to hell, but it’s sliding down faster on a steeper slope than before. There’s so much insanity these days, so much hatred and violence. The internet, social media, seems like a poison that makes some people crazy, it’s all about power, everyone wanting to tell everyone else what to think, how to live. It won’t end well.

“Who runs this thrift shop? Satan? There’s a South American gang, as violent as MS-13, their motto is ‘rape, rob, and kill for justice.’ Each of them wears blood from his first victim. But this isn’t that. The chain’s too girly. Only guys allowed in this gang, and they put the blood in an empty rifle cartridge and seal it, not in a glass ampule.”


...in the wake of the countless other electrifying abominations born of the culture of self and sensation, few if any of the morbidly curious would prowl around the property.

You either love the words of Dean Koontz...or you don't. There seems not to be a middle ground where you can pick or choose which of his books you will read... I have no idea when or why I picked this book, although in distant past years, when Koontz and Stephen King were just beginning to write, especially horror, I found that my major word for Koontz was intriguing, while never really getting into King's type of horror--The Pet Cemetery did it for me with him...

...The maze of Ronny Jessup’s dark erotic dreams of absolute power was also the labyrinth of David Thorne’s nightmares. In this cochlea of eerie silence, the narrow serpentine passageways, with their low ceilings and walls patterned by creeping mold, testified to the seed of evil in the human heart— dormant in some, flourishing in others. Where it flourished, there was the narcissistic certainty of being superior and the associated insatiable lust for power from which all other wickedness grew. The need to control others and use them, to intimidate and abuse them, forcing them to submit until eventually they submitted with self-negating eagerness. In the twisting warrens of Jessup’s mind, which were here made manifest, all the varied gods of human history were dead and catacombed and powerless, leaving the new god, Ronny, whose one commandment was Do as I tell you, whose love was insatiable lust, whose grace was terror, whose promise was death everlasting. 

Koontz, however, I found to be more than just a horror writer, his diversity of topic has been great. But you can always count on his books being...unique, different...and, sometimes, so compelling that you are forced to read even though you are not enjoying it...

So it was with the novel, The Other Emily... Indeed, I even tried to share the concept of the book with a girlfriend as we were talking yesterday...and failed to grab her attention... In fact, I had decided that I would just use some interesting quotes from the book and not try to review it... And that's how I started this morning. But then I found a couple of relevant videos that could help and added the poetry that had been quoted at the beginning of the book. The book itself, is broken down into parts, interestingly, in my opinion, mostly for allowing a beautifully arranged flower bouquet to grace the beginning of each part... 

She is lost, and he must find her, but she leaves no trail, no footprints or spoor of any kind, and the way is dark, for she has gone into the forest of the night, where the trees are black and leafless, where the moon and stars do not exist, where the sun will never rise, where the path is ever downward, yet he descends in a desperate search, for she does not belong here among the dead, not when she is so alive in his mind and heart, does not belong here, does not belong here, and although finding her is his only hope of joy, his only reason to exist, there are moments when he senses her within arm’s reach in the blinding darkness— and terror wakes him

David Thorne is a writer and has reached that time of the year, when he moves westward to warmer climates and a lovely cottage in which he is able to rejuvenate his mind, his ideas, and conceptually think through what his next book should offer to his millions of readers...

But this time, something is different. He's nervous, dreaming a lot, and remembering that they have still not discovered the body of his lost love from so many years ago... They found her car and everybody thinks she is dead. Except David cannot accept that, nor can her mother who, while blind, lives alone and enjoys any time that David can spend with her...

But Emily's mother does not know David's secret. In fact, he can barely even think about his past actions without becoming so deeply depressed to, then, begin again searching for answers...

Only one man has possible answers... But the psychopath who is in prison for life, knows how to play David, even to the point of his being willing to provide $500/monthly just so the potential book, as David has offered the prisoner...or that he might one day be willing to tell David more than what has already been shared publicly. During David's search, he has already spent time in the dungeons that had been carved under the prisoner's home, where he kept all of the beautiful women he kidnapped and, when the time suited him, murdered them.

“Well, I guess I got more time for it than you do. I like Westerns and all, 'cause the good guys always win, which is how it ought to be but mostly isn’t.”

He was a homicidal psychopathic sentimentalist whose emotional life was as vivid as it was confused, who was the star of his own soap opera and something of a psychic vampire. His emotions—and the emotions of others on which he fed—were like a mild but continuous orgasm. If he were allowed to feed on David’s memories of Emily and on his feelings for her, Jessup would soon be sated on the subject, and he would have no motivation to answer any questions about her.

Pretty standard plot for serial killer novels, right? Well, not with Dean Kootntz...

For once, David has arrived in his home away from New York, he began his usual routine by visiting a favorite restaurant... and seeing... Emily, the love of his life...

But Maddison, who appears to be about 25, the same age of Emily when she disappeared, denies that she knows Emily... although there are many things that she seems to know from the time David and Emily were together...

The bar was too crowded for David. He tipped the hostess for the window table at which he’d dined the previous night. She seated him and saw to it that his waiter brought a glass of Caymus cabernet by the time that he unfolded the napkin and placed it on his lap. The anticipation that had drawn his nerves taut the previous evening rose in him once more. He expected nothing would come of it. Nothing ever did. Nearby on the harbor, two twentyish women in bikinis, standing on paddleboards, oared their way past the docks, making progress so effortlessly that they were conducting an animated conversation at the same time and laughing with delight. They were beautiful and lithe, with tanned and silken limbs, but though they gave rise to a certain need in David, they didn’t fill him with true desire. The swollen sun was still five minutes from immersion in the sea when he glanced toward the noisy bar and saw her. He froze with the wineglass halfway to his mouth and for a moment forgot that it remained in his hand. She was in that highest rank of beauties that inspired stupid men to commit foolish acts and made wiser men despair for their inadequacies. He thought he must be wrong about her. Then she looked his way and for a moment met his eyes at a distance, and he put down his glass for fear of spilling the cabernet. Her gaze didn’t linger on David or on anyone. She turned her elegant head to the bartender as he placed a martini before her. Balanced on the horizon, the fat sun poured apocalyptic light through the huge tinted windows. The restaurant and bar occupied one enormous space designed to allow patrons to see and be seen by the largest possible audience. Yet as the room filled with the fantastic light of the dying day, David felt as if everyone but he and this woman had been vaporized. The sun sank, the night rose like a tide, and the restaurant dimmed to a romantic glow. Although he considered approaching the woman at the bar, he didn’t dare. She surely couldn’t be true. He ordered a second glass of cabernet and the filet mignon, and he watched her surreptitiously for the next hour. She did not glance at him again...

What was so compelling was that I just couldn't get a handle on what was really happening... for certainly, that's how Koontz wrote the story so that readers, along with David Thorne would be conducting the search for the love of his life, who, really, was probably dead, murdered by a psychopath... But not just any psychopath! Not from Koontz. This psychopath had extraordinary psychological problems, a brilliant mind, and the talents to not only capture women and disappear with them, but totally build an underground playland for his victims!

Reality and surreality were becoming indistinguishable, fiction and fact folding together in a hallucinatory kaleidoscopic moment.

A few selected quotes are provided for your enlightment... Provided in blood...

The ending is our salvation from those who place their need for power over all else...



Evil Must Be Identified - And Eliminated

Just My Personal Opinion, Of Course...



Freedom, Truth, Love

And the Greatest of These is Love

Monday, December 5, 2022

Surely God Sent This Writer to Me, and YOU, at This Time in the World - Sweet Baby by Sharon Sala...



Dedication

I wrote this book for all the children

 who needed a Sweet Baby, but didn’t have one.

 I will say a prayer each night for the children

 who cry and no one hears.

 I will say a prayer each night for the children

 who wake up hungry and go to bed the same way.

 I will say a prayer each night for the children

 who are missing, and for those who are lost.

 I will say a prayer each night for the children

 who suffer alone because

 they have no one who cares.

 I will say a prayer each night for the children

 that no one loves. 

I will say a prayer for the children.

 I will say a prayer each night, 

because when no one else is listening, 

God still hears. 



Prologue 

Rural Arkansas, 1973 

A rooster tail of dust billowed behind the bright yellow school bus as it rumbled down the Arkansas back roads, returning the children of Calico Rock to their homes. It was dry for September. The narrow, two-lane road on which the bus was traveling was bordered on both sides with an abundance of dust-covered greens. Old trees, tall and angular, struggled for space among new growth in the constant act of taking root. On the ground beneath, bushes and scrub brush flourished, hanging on to their place in the mountains with fierce persistence. The sky was pale, a blue so light it almost seemed white, and the sun beaming down on the roof of the bus sweltered the children inside like so many beans in a can. 

Sweat ran out of their hair and down their faces as they chattered away. They didn’t care that it was hot, because it was Friday, and they were going home. But though the noise level inside the bus was high, there was the occasional child, like six-year-old Victoria Lancaster, who sat alone in her seat, quietly contemplating the day’s events and longing for the first sight of home. Last night had been a first for young Tory in more ways than one. She and seven other little girls had spent the night at Mary Ellen Wiggins’ slumber party. For Tory, it was the first time in her life that she’d slept somewhere other than beneath her mother’s roof—and without her dolly, Sweet Baby. And she hadn’t cried. Not even once. 

As the bus began to brake, she looked up. The Broyles brothers were getting off. That meant she would be next. Her mouth pursed as she thought back to last night. She couldn’t wait to tell her mommy about Mary Ellen’s party. Roasting wieners and marshmallows and then telling ghost stories after the house was dark had been scary—but so much fun. Mommy would be so proud of her for not asking to go home. The bus hit a bump, and Tory clutched at the brown paper sack in her lap. It held yesterday’s dirty school clothes, as well as her nightgown. There was a ketchup stain on her dress and marshmallow on the front of her gown, but she wasn’t too worried. Mommy never yelled at her for things like that. 

In fact, Mommy hardly ever yelled at all, and when she did, she was usually yelling at Ollie. She sighed, remembering a time in their life when Ollie hadn’t lived with them and wishing it could be that way again. Ollie was always teasing her about being a momma’s baby. When she got home, she would show him. She’d spent the whole night away from home. Babies couldn’t do that! Right in the middle of planning what she would say to Ollie, a voice suddenly shrieked in her ear. “Tory’s got a boyfriend. Tory’s got a boyfriend.” Tory turned in her seat and stuck out her tongue, glaring angrily at the boy behind her. It was that stupid old Arthur Beckham. After less than six weeks of first grade, she’d already figured out that the older boys got, the dumber they became. When he laughed in her face, she spun back in her seat, red-faced and a little bit shocked by her own temerity. When she got to be a fourth-grader, she wouldn’t pick on little kids like Arthur did, of that she was certain. Once more the bus began to slow. Tory glanced out the window as the brakes locked, then squeaked. When she saw the familiar rooftop of her home, she grabbed hold of the seat in front of her for balance, then stood. Arthur Beckham made a face at her as she passed down the aisle, but she was too anxious to get home to give him another thought. 

As she stepped off the bus, an errant wind lifted the hem of her dress, but she didn’t care. The moment her feet hit the dirt, she began to run. An orange-and-black butterfly fluttered just ahead of her, riding the wind current with delicate ease, and it almost seemed as if they were racing. The fantasy caught in her mind, and she shifted into an all-out stride. The afternoon sun caught and then held in the tangles of her long, blond hair. Had anyone been around to notice, they might have imagined they’d seen a halo above her head. But it was the end of the day, and had one been inclined to consider her an angel, she would have been a grubby one at best. There was a skinned spot on her knee, a smudge from lunch on the front of her dress, and her shoes and anklets wore a light coating of dust as her little legs churned, making short work of the distance to the house. The brown paper bag she held clutched in one fist was torn at the top and about to give way, but it didn’t matter now. She was almost there. Just as Tory’s feet hit the front steps, the butterfly darted off to the left. She laughed aloud, calling out to her mother as she grabbed the screen door and yanked. 

“Mommy! Mommy! I’m home! You should have seen me! I was racing a butterfly and—” She froze as the echo of her own voice moved from room to empty room, drifting like a bad memory that wouldn’t go away. A draft of hot air came from somewhere before her, shifting the hem of her dress and pushing the fabric against her bare legs. Tory took a step farther, then another, and another, unaware when the brown paper bag she’d been holding fell from her fingers and onto the floor. Everything was gone, from the faded blue curtains on the windows to the furniture that had been sitting on the floors. Her heart skipped a beat. Even though her eyes were seeing the truth, her heart would not accept it. 

“Mommy?” She cocked her head, listening for the familiar sound of her mother’s voice, but all she heard was the faint grinding of gears as the school bus climbed the hill on the road beyond. She called out again, her voice trembling. “Mommy? Mommy? I’m home.” The silence beyond the sound of her voice was insidious, amplifying the call of a bird in the tree outside the kitchen window. Somewhere within the house she heard a cricket chirp, and her heart leaped. Mommy hated crickets in the house. Any minute she would come racing into the room to get rid of it. She turned toward the doorway, her big blue eyes tear-filled and horror-stricken. But nothing moved, and no one came. She called again. 

“Mommy… where are you?” All she could hear was the thunder of her heartbeat, drowning out the sound of her own voice. She ran toward her bedroom, the only sanctuary she knew. If she crawled onto her bed and cuddled Sweet Baby, Mommy would surely come home. But it was as vacant as the rest of the house. And as she stood in the doorway, she started to shake. Sweat broke out across her forehead, beading on her upper lip. 

Her little bed—the one with the pale pink spread—was missing. Even worse, Sweet Baby was nowhere to be found. Near hysteria, she began turning in a circle, her fingers knotting into tiny fists as she began to chant, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,” as if saying the word enough times would make her mother appear. Frantic, her gaze moved to the open closet door. Everything, including her new Sunday school shoes, was missing. Gone! Everything and everyone was gone! She began to circle the four small rooms in the clapboard house, racing in and then out again as her hysteria grew, shouting her mother’s name over and over until there was nothing left of Tory Lancaster but a scream. 

The sound of a car going by on the road beyond sent her running to the doorway, but when it went past without a sign of slowing down, she backed up in sudden fear. Alone! She was alone! It was only after she’d backed herself into a corner of the room that she stopped, her eyes wide and staring, her expression blank. Tears were drying on her cheeks as she slowly sank into a squatting position, her gaze fixed on the door. The afternoon turned into dusk, dusk into night, but Tory Lancaster never moved. She was waiting—waiting for Mommy to come home.

~~~


There has been so much happening, mostly caused by MAGA republicans that, sometimes, you can't find your place--trying to consider just what could happen next and when will it stop. For me and for millions across the nation, we were shocked when the Supreme Court ruled against the medical issue of allowing abortion.  Nobody wants to abort a child, but there is medical issues and, even, financial issues... Do you have a child as a single mother who already has three children and can't afford another? My Mom did, but what I remember most about my mother is that she was always working... 

My mother was carrying me when my father was killed in a mine accident. While I am here to tell my story, I also know that, in talking with many women who have found it necessary for parents, if there are two, to both work because of an inability to meet basic needs for the family. My Mom died when she was 72 and had worked her entire life, almost 24-7, to take care of us... 

Now, once again I faced someone close who was pro-life, (no matter what) while I was pro-choice. She again stated her opinion, while I, once again, was caught in the emotional flashbacks that comes with incest... I started to cry and said that, it wasn't about abortion for me--that I had always felt this way (since I was old enough to consider the issue). For me, it was about the failure of the church recognizing and working to deal with the sexual abuse of children from early age on through life! Adding, sometimes, a child should not be allowed to be where they are to live after birth... Pro-life decisions, once made, seem to be the only thing that counts...there is no further concern for the children, even for basic needs... And there is no further proactive concern to ensure that children are given a good home... free of exposure to many issues too adult for them to be listening to or, worse, experiencing...



Then once again, MAGA republicans bring it up purely to make it into a political issue...while, little girls and many others in this type of situation are forced to not only survive being sexually abused, but then are placed into the public eye as abortion issues are used, again, politically, rather than to allow such intimate medical issues to be handled within the family-doctor environment...ONLY!

Sala begins her book, Sweet Baby by establishing that something has happened in the life of 6-year-old Victoria Lancaster as she returns home from a sleep-over with girlfriends from school. There is no sign of her mother and all of the furniture and more--Sweet Baby--is gone... And that Tory was left alone, not knowing what had happened... We also learn that Tory was in an out of foster homes through to becoming an adult, which starts right at Chapter 1...

Victoria has become a photojournalist and travels to many areas, dependent upon the subject to be covered in her article. She has also become involved with Brett Hooker, a former cop who decided to get off the streets and now is an investigator for the DA Office. He is very much in love with Victoria... And, for now, is willing to take her exactly as she was... an very independent woman who has a job which requires that she leaves and comes based upon her job.

Or was she?

Tory still had flashes of the past that bothered her, such as storms. Readers will be privy to her dreams and will learn much about what actually happened to Tory... In many ways this is a mystery, quite suspenseful as we learn through her dreams more and more as we read. And yet, it is the solid loving partner she has found that has allowed her to begin to wonder...and, even, desire to discover what really happened in her past.

For most of the first part of the book, I was in tears--a cathartic time, perhaps, for me as well as for some other readers who have a Deep Awareness, perhaps, that they should not have experienced what they did at an early age, and yet have memories of that period of their life. Certainly the start of the "me-too" movement has revealed just how broadly this child corruption has spread across the world.

Concern for today's children and the realization that this is becoming worse rather than better, for many of our children... is, unfortunately, quite often headline topics to be used politically for, it appears, power and control over, especially, women...

Sala uses the strong tie of love to allow Tory to begin to face that part of her early life that had been forgotten. Tory had grown strong and independent to the world around her, while she suffered internally, believing that she was not worthy to be loved. Her adult solution was to accept life as it came to her, but leave it as she wished--striving to keep control of her emotions so that she could deal with anything and anyone that may cause her fear or pain...

So after empathic or sympathic tears are shed at first, readers are then allowed to watch and realize that love, indeed, can help to heal all wounds... It may be through other people, or, like me, it can be through a sure knowledge that God, indeed, loves all of us and wishes no harm to come to us, even though it may happen. 

“Ruthie… forgive… didn’t mean…  Tory froze. Ruthie? She tried to breathe and heard herself choking instead. Ruthie? Brett was talking to her now, telling her that she was going to be all right. Ruthie? An image flashed in her mind, an image of a woman with pretty brown hair and laughing eyes, a woman who smelled like roses and soap and who made up her own special songs to sing her little girl to sleep. "Hush little Tory, don’t say a word. Mommy’s gonna buy you a honeybird." A tear ran down the side of Tory’s nose. Honeybird. Hummingbird. Sometimes, when you’re only four, one word is as good as another. The room was beginning to spin. She grabbed Brett, desperately holding on...


Somehow, Sala brings sanity out of chaos, light out of darkness, love out of hate. God surely has given this writer a gift that has alreadt been awarded through awards and recognition... But, to the single reader, we are pulled into an embrace of safety and caring,  where she is able to show that, although there is pain, there is also a way to escape that memory and replace it with new ones that are full of joy, contentment, and a feeling of security that might have been missing for some of her readers. She gives us a gift of love...an awareness through her dedication, on through to the final word she writes, that this writer is here to grant us...the right to love ourselves...and others... Surely, God's love is shared through her words... And we thank you, Sharon...




We Never Remember days, only Moments*

God Bless,

Gabbie


*Quote

Personal Thoughts This Color

Friday, December 2, 2022

Open Memoir - About Working.- Having a Professional Career -- Shattered--Emotionally Damaged: Living With Job Burnout... Appendix I


Yeah, right, getting coffee, picking up suits from the cleaners...  that is "really" what every secretary wants to do--NOT! Did I ever tell you I was a professional secretary and belonged to The National Secretaries Association, which no longer exists these days due to technological changes...

Most changes occur for the good, but, often not for the employees and professionals who may have been affected at that time. (one of the hardest parts for me was being asked to lie about putting calls through to people... it was irritating mostly because I knew that most of the time, the individual didn't want to deal with the caller and so I had to "cover" for him or her...)

For one main reason! Time

This issue holds true even in today's world. But, bottom line for the majority of staff employees, their bosses know little about actual time involved in doing those small or large jobs that need to be done. For instance, say you've just been assigned to a busy top-level leader of the institution...

I'm going to use two provosts (academic leaders titles equivalent to vice-president...

! And, unless you are supervisor, like myself, who was promoted internally or actually took the time to learn about what their staff actually does, they fail miserably as bosses!


Sooo, of course, I began by looking back into earlier years of my life when I was a secretary--first as secretary to the Assistant Director of Personnel, then Secretary to the Director...On to Secretary to the University Provost, and then to Secretary to the Vice President for Academic Affairs at West Virginia University. BTW, Provost and Vice-President are similar in level. The VP titles came in when more vice presidents were being added and so they were all appointed as VPs.

In Personnel, while my first job was primarily as Records Clerk, I was also Secretary to S. Thomas Serpento when he was Assistant Director... TJ Wall, the director and Bettie Tucker, his secretary left about the same time. Mr. Wall retired and Bettie joined her husband in Pittsburgh, PA. Mr. Serpento moved into the Director position, as well as I also moving into the Director's Secretary's job...

I really enjoyed being a secretary, even though, with all of the technological advances over the years, the position of secretary ultimately was eliminated. However, during my time in Personnel, I started reading the director's mail, and noticed a routine  mailing from the Bureau of National Affairs...and so I began to become acquainted with the close relationship of the government and the university.... Reading and highlighting for the Director all applicable issues that should be considered at WVU.

Moving into the President's office was interesting. Provost Robert F. Munn, (which was then the only position reporting to the University President) was also the Director of our Libraries. He was a quiet man and so I was a little unsure of myself. The one thing I remember most is when I first started, I would be working, greeting him, "Good Morning... and he would come past my desk and directly into his office... Not a word... Well, that happened a little too often for me, so 
I remember I stopped speaking and would be filing or typing with my back turned... At some point, he started saying Good Morning... I was...relieved... and  was gratified when, as he gave up the Provost position to return to the Libraries, he offered me a job there... I was...honored... 


As Dr. Munn was deciding to leave the position of Provost, I also was asked to consider moving into a position as Secretary to Jay Barton, who was Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs. Trish, his secretary, was the one who approached me, and I can't quite remember how, but all of a sudden I was working for Dr. Barton, Trish had gone home to England, and Dr. Munn had moved back full-time as Director of Libraries.

Being secretary for Dr. Barton was probably the most demanding secretarial position I had. He was a very active administrator and just keeping his calendar was an ongoing endeavor to fit all who needed to see him into any given day. I had always been an individual who arrived early to work, and soon, Dr. Barton realized that I was there...so from about 7:30 to 8:30 AM, he would dictate ( I remember I had scored from 80 to 100 wpm on shorthand tests) but I knew he was moving faster than that... His dictation not only included letters to be prepared, but also the meetings he needed scheduled, travel to be arranged and anything else. It was nothing for him to dictate enough in that one hour to keep me busy the entire week. 

Soon I had to learn how to deal with this individual... He truly had NO idea...nor did he care to know, how much time was involved in doing what he needed me to do. 

How was I able to keep him happy? By little white lies... He would ask about something, such as did you talk to so-and-so... I would routinely say he was out of the office...and then I would call when he was in his next meeting and get the appointment scheduled... or whatever was urgent at the moment... I truly don't know how other secretaries handled an extremely heavy workload. But, having already learned how to cover for bosses, as they needed, I also learned how to cover for myself... Right or wrong, I did what I had to do to manage my time as efficiently as possible.

And so it was that another job was waiting when Dr. Barton was leaving to assume the presidency of Alaska University... I feel confident in saying that Dr. Barton was very instrumental in having a new office created for the instructional arm of the university... It was to that office, I was next asked to apply... for a position in a newly created Office of Facilities Analysis and Utilization. William J. Campbell was named to lead this small unit. There were two technical positions and one secretary. I had moved into a technical position and was responsible for all classroom scheduling, including all meetings, that occurred on campus... 

It was the first time I began to see a clearer career path for myself, moving out of the clerical classification.

I started working on July 17, 1963, and moved  through the above positions into the early 70s... The one major advantage I had was that Mr. Campbell had come to WVU from the University of Maryland and he knew the job I would be doing. In fact, he had created the process by which it would be happning on the WVU Campus... I was now totally responding to the offices of the deans and their department chairs as I worked to ensure each semester of classes would be in a space that was required...

President Harlow was president of the university in my earliest years. His presidency was by direct contact to each of his subordinates, and it was a strict line for most... Except for me. My job dealt with the instructional program and I would be working directly with that individual to make final decisions on those matters. In turn, the Provost/VP delegated some basic issues to the deans heading up the many programs taught at the university...

While the entire facilities group was under another VP and in line authority, my boss reported to him.  Additionally, at that time, the Health Sciences VP wanted to participate into centralized classroom management, so I also reported to his office regarding all things related to the Health Sciences programs...

I worked fine for many years under that broader reporting role ...until...I...didn't... A new hierarchy was to come, which created not only more work, but poorer and tighter communication lines...

Thursday, December 1, 2022

Recognizing World Aids Day - Remembering My Friend, Joseph Michael Fortney - Author of One Man's Madness: Living With Aids

 




When you have the privilege to work with an author to "create" the book he wanted to leave his family, his friends, and the world of AIDS Victims, You tend not to forget that wonderful, unusual experience. I worked with Joseph as the person behind the scenes who does everything necessary to get many different poems together and in a format for publishing. For those interested in reading more of his poems, here's a link to one that includes a copy of the book cover and one of his poems... Searching on his name will bring up all that I've shared, including my Foreword, also in poetic form. 

On this World Aids Day, I'm helping to spread the word that there has been much improvement in stopping the spread of AIDS. But it has not been deleted as a killer of, now, millions. Joe writes about how he first met the killer which ultimately took his life.

Violated

I awoke one morning
no longer being naive
and quickly became wiser.

For you see,
I was violanted.

But I, too, had to understand,
Against all efforts to keep this from happening,
I was silently violated. . .without warning!

Then, as if someone tossed a bomb at me,
and during the aftermath,
I was changed forever.

I did not ask for this,
No one does.
But this is one violater who doesn't care
as he reaps his way into my soul
and setles in to torment me so.

So now I fight harder than before
and I'm now trying to keep him at bay...
For you see, I don't want to be just another victim
or a number on a slab

I've always wanted to leave a legacy
of who I was,
But now
I'm fighting harder to see to it
I was strong and gave my all.

To show my family that I became something
and also for myself.

I want to make my mark in this world
and "not be forgotten."

~~~

After having gone through years of another pandemic, Covid, I think I and, perhaps, many others, will find much in Joe's words as he shared how he just wished he could be touched...seen...

A Gentle Touch

Since I've become infected, I've lost the most valued feeling anyone could lose
and that's intimacy
There's no longer the huma touch of love.

Sure the verbal reassurances is there,
but not to be touched anymore by your partner
is the greatest pain one can feel.

It's partly due to fear
And I'm not sure of the other.

But I always thought pure intimacy was unconditional, 
even having the knowledge of hou you can and cannot
become as I am now.

I truly yearn for the stroking of my body
and caressing my soul...

I'm not really complaining,
only letting others know how we feel,
Loved, yet, alone.

I'm still the same,
warm and truly deserving of a gentle touch,
and the intimacy I once felt.

Wosh I could turn back the hands of time 
to have that again and not just a memory...

Am I asking for too much?

I realize there are changes
but does this have to be one?

I hold love and intimacy so dear,
so why does this have to be taken from me?

~~~

And then a plea, perhaps feeling his time is short...

Hey Mister Man


Hey Mister Man
Can you help me,
I've fallen and I'm so tired?

Hey Mister Man
Can you carry me,
would I be too much of a burden for you?

Hey Mister Man
Can you help, so I can walk by your side,
instead of laying in your arms?

Hey Mister Man
Can You?

~~~





I believe God is continuing to teach and train and help people learn how to solve the many mysteries of science and those diseases that arrive on earth... Just as he has done to continue to move toward, one day, the total elimination of the AIDS Virus... I hope this day, you may consider how you may participate in this endeavor...  Look for my more thoughts on this soon....

God Bless

Gabbie