The Golden Sky by EC Stilson Shares Personal Story, Diary About the Death of Her Child

I'm staying at my mom's house a lot. Well, it's not that I'm a pansy or anything. It's just that Cade is gone almost all of the time, and I get lonely. Plus, my mom has a piano, and I need it to pull my mind from things. Ruby loves bobbing to the music, and I figure it's probably good for both of us. That kid is so empathetic you wouldn't believe it. 

I keep playing "Amazing Grace," and a song I wrote for Zeke. I hope this is all some dream, but I always cry at the songs' endings, because they don't take the pain away. I don't bawl or anything. I just cry lightly, so my mom won't hear. She's usually in the kitchen when I play the piano. Ruby stops dancing when I sob, and she cries, too. I keep playing while we cry, just so there's some background noise drowning out our sadness, but I still can't figure why Ruby is upset.  

Zeke, strength of God 

Come now, and strengthen him,

 Love him, and help him through the battle.

 My Baby, it's so hard, 

yet so beautiful.

 God, please give me understanding.

 No matter what may come, 

I will always love you. 

Struggle so deep for a gift so pure. 

I can't imagine life without you. 

Sorrow is around me, 

but it will never drown me;

 Our love will see me through.

 Our love is timeless:

 No beginning or end. 

Our love will tie us;

 I'll never lose you . . .

 I'll never lose you . . .

~~~

Searching 

A path leading to nowhere and one leading to all, 

they are one and the same . . . 

I am lost on this path called life

 and I desperately need answers.

~~~

Everybody talked me into getting an ultrasound, and I'm supposed to go in a few days. Even though I didn't want to, I'm excited now. I hope we'll have a boy. I know it shouldn't matter, but I've always wanted a son—a rowdy little kid, running around the house, pretending he's an airplane. I hope he'll have brown hair and be strong like his daddy. If we have a boy, we can be done having kids. We already have beautiful Ruby, and a little boy would even us out. Like that song says, "a boy for you, and a girl for me." That's what I want, a boy for me. I'll be happy with another girl too, but I really want a boy...

\

It Was You 

Walking down a desolate hallway, 

not knowing what's about to come, 

Wondering every step . . . 

why did you need to take my son? 

The day he was born— 

one of the best days of my life—

 His little hand held mine; It just felt so right. 

I'm thankful for every day 

that I spent with my baby boy. 

Now, you're holding him tight, 

just how he likes. 

You're taking care of him for me. 

Yet, you're holding me right now, 

and you're telling me how you love me. 

You're seeing me through; 

without you, what would I do? 

I love you more, 

I need you more than before. 

You're everything to me. 

Help me be the person 

that you want me to be. 

My baby waits in Heaven; 

Joy fills his little heart. 

His pain has now ended, 

but it still hurts me to be apart. 

God help me live right; 

I want to see my son's face 

when he sees me up in Heaven 

because of your amazing grace!

 I know you have a reason, 

and I know you understand. 

I'll put my faith and trust in you;

without you, how can I stand?

~~~

Do you know anybody who keeps a diary? Have you ever sneaked a peek...or merely wished you could really understand what that person may be thinking about life? I've just finished The Golden Sky by EC Stilson... I knew the reason for the book and I prepared to be sympathetic...and garner enough empathy as I could by a woman who has never had children...or lost one...

I didn't have to prepare... Elisa puts it all right out there--every emotion that she experienced in her past and especially when she lost Zeke, her son who died after months of medical attention and praying to have her son's body recreated, only to realize that was impossible...and allowing him to die...

But life cannot be just about sorrow, the worry, the fear... Elisa writes before and after the loss of Ezekiel (Zeke). Prepare to laugh out loud, cry with her, and even worry about what this young girl, not even out of her teens at the beginning, was able to do in light of all that she faced. Obviously writing was a way for her to cope...

But praying - talking to God was the most precious part of her book... She wonders if God still loves her since she was no longer like a virgin, Mary. No wonder, though, her church had discovered she had sex before marriage...and forced her into an exorcism! Bad enough but the people around her displayed absolutely no empathy or basic understanding of what Elisa really needed to do... After such a reaction from her family and church, she often wondered if God was still there for her and tries to learn more about what was happening "just in case God doesn't have time to heal my boy." 

It is certainly hard to continue to have faith in miracles when so much has been wrong in your life, don't you think? 

On the other hand, perhaps we must face these trials...to come to know who we really are...and, in turn, our relationship with God, the Father. Elisa's life has been full of trials, of pain, of death. But, it was, in the telling, the sharing, of her most innermost thoughts, that she has provided a book that touches to the heart of many who will read her words. Not, necessarily, because we see ourselves in what she's gone through, although many might, but rather how she responded to all that happened. She never stopped loving God, having Him first in her life...

But...she also didn't sit back and just wait, like the one who was given talents in the Bible, and buried them, for fear he would not have them safely available when his master returned. Elisa acted! Sometimes rashly, sometimes unpredictably, sometimes with consequences. But she never stopped writing and trying to work out what God wanted for her...

May we be like Elisa... constantly striving, moving forward, on the path either chosen, or guided by God for her... The journey was hard sometimes, the journey was joyous sometimes, but any reader is bound to see a traveler seeking God's Will in her life, no matter how hard it became. Truly an extraordinary life story, shared through her personal diary.  

Elisa is facing a new pain in her life these days... And, for many of us, the pandemic has caused not only pain, but sudden death to millions as the virus continues to rage across the world. Sometimes you feel so alone, even within the midst of family. I think Stilson's story--stories, look for more thoughts from me on her books--allows us to ponder, to evaluate, to consider "what if" and, indeed, What would Jesus do in any daily situation we may face. For those of us who believe He's alive within us, I'll be sharing about dreams that came to Stilson immediately after her public church disgrace... 

Extraordinary, Heartbreaking, Heartwarming, Provocative... Prepare for your mind and heart to be totally immersed in words that just might be what you need to read, right now, where you are in today's world... I'm thrilled to have read the book as I was recently as of yesterday, starting talking about it to others... It's an important book, for so many reasons! Check it out!

...I cried because I knew I was getting my husband back, and because I knew we'd just made it through the storm. I can't help remembering my dad's speech at Zeke's funeral. "At the end of a storm is a golden sky. Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you'll never walk alone."

~~~

Melanie Jackson's Debut Novel in Miss Henry Series Provides Artistic Lessons With Murder...

"She had thought of making that offer though she had never owned a cat. Marley was fond enough of Juliet, or at least her tuna fish sandwiches which she packed on days when she was painting, to not be put off by the smell of turpentine or her favorite Siena red paint. 
"Though Juliet was likewise warmhearted toward Marley and enjoyed his company when she worked, she had no fondness for his human landlord and therefore withheld offers of adoption which would cause rancor and perhaps retaliatory snooping. Her low opinions of Harvey Allen’s morals and personality were not unique, though he had not aroused her to speechless fury as he had so many of her neighbors. Perhaps because she hadn’t been there long enough for him to discover anything about her. 
"There were things to discover though, and she knew that he might manage the feat someday no matter how discreet she was. Harvey was a professional gossip. 
~~~
Yes, I had to put the cat picture first! I found it on the author's web site!

Portrait of a Gossip:
A Miss Henry Mystery

By Melanie Jackson

First, let me draw your attention to the book cover...

“Juliet, can you explain the difference between an artist and an artisan and a craftsman?” This exasperated question brought her back to the present and she wondered what Asher Temple had said to him. The sheriff was not an unintelligent man, but he was likely a bit out of his depth. For a here-and-now man who probably played softball, liked fishing, and watched American Idol, a crowd that lived in some mental construct, emoted freely, and had no similar connection to reality or pop culture— not even TV— would be an enigma shrouded in mystery.
 “Who do you think will win American Idol?” she asked.
“Er … maybe the boy from Georgia. He’s got a lot of personality and a good voice.”
Juliet nodded. “To answer your question, the difference is ego, mainly. Fortunately my neighbors’ eccentricities haven’t blossomed into full-fledged egomania. In most cases.” He blinked at her answer and then smiled a little, making Juliet realize that he had been looking unusually grim since he arrived. That was hardly surprising, of course, but she preferred the friendlier version of the law. Juliet went on attempting to explain. “Artists are often lost in creativity though. Not just focused on a job, but obsessive to the point of being blind to the needs of anyone or anything else. Things that you would think were standard knowledge, writ large in letters of fire, are sometimes missed. You know that poem about no man being an island? That isn’t true of artists— at least not the young ones who know they are destined for greatness and possibly immortality. Think of the mad scientists from the movies.” The sheriff snorted. “The rest of us— the craftsmen— are happy to create, but we are more competent and workmanlike. We remember to feed ourselves and are aware of others’ feelings and reactions. We don’t feel that art exempts us from good manners or entitles us to special behavior.” At least, not criminal behavior.
“Can they help it, the artists, or are they just…?” He sounded frustrated as he searched for a word, and she supposed that for a non-artistic person, dealing with the creative and sometimes egotistical personalities of a

Harvey (Photo credit: Paul D'Ambra - Australia)

n artists’ colony could be frustrating, especially when they shared no common cultural denominator.
“Born weirdos ” Juliet suggested and then shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’m one of the craftsmen who like to eat.” “And remembers to feed the neighbor’s cat even if she has to leave her own work half-done.”

Harvey (Photo credit: Paul D'Ambra - Australia)

Marley mewed, doing his best to look starved and pitiful. “It won’t work,” Juliet said. But it did actually work. And since Harvey’s house was only about fifty feet above her and he kept Marley’s kibble in a plastic trash can outside the front door, Juliet decided to take a break and get her feline friend some breakfast. She stuck her brush in a jar of turpentine. “Coming?” she asked the cat, who at first seemed uninterested but then decided that, yes, perhaps he was interested enough to bestir himself.
~~~

                                                                     

The cover reflects the setting of the book, which is an artist colony. Other covers for upcoming books are beautifully illustrative as well. This is my first time reading Melanie Jackson, but looking through her web site is a fun experience which only made me want to have more time to read!

Miss Henry is a very unique character. She's retired, so is using her artistic skills to add to her financial stability. You'll find that she probably doesn't need it, but still makes the effort to be working. Painting is quite different from her job with the NSA... But, of course, you know that means that she's going to be involved when criminal activities occur; namely, murder...

And who better to murder than a gossip?! LOL After all, an individual who gossips can kill people just as effectively as a knife or gun, don't you think?

Fortunately the local police knew Miss Henry's background and were quite willing to allow her to participate, by talking more informally with the other artists in the colony. By doing so, we find out a little about painting... And Miss Henry soon discovered that there were quite a number of her neighbors about whom the gossiper had been talking!

Of course, with the security of the compound, it was very likely that somebody within the colony had killed the gossiper! But then Miss Henry discovered that the man had been accepted by the owner of the colony himself... And then, another man was moving in right above the house in which the murder had occurred. And he also had been accepted by the owner himself... 

Juliet was a calm person not prone to hysteria of any sort, but having two men, who were strangers, living above her, one of which was already murdered, did give her pause...he made marionettes out of real bone... Now you know I had to check that out...so I found an example that would break up the tension Juliet was feeling...

Actually, after she got to know the man, as well as several of the other male artists in the colony, she seemed to be having some very friendly times with them! You know, it just takes a good murder case to solve to get to know the people surrounding you!

This short whodunit is fun but not easy...a small challenge for you real mystery solvers, but for those who got involved with the cat, Marley and the male relationships developing like me...just plan on enjoying the time spent with Miss Henry and her sudden turn to whimsy in her designs--solving crime or new friends...? I know... it's Marley who caused her new happiness!

“Yes.” Garret stared at her and then shook his head in admiration and annoyance. “Is there anything you want to tell me about him in return since your sources seem to be as good and maybe better than mine?” 
“Nothing like the horse’s mouth for details,” Juliet agreed. “As long as it isn’t lying, of course. Esteban says that he and Raphael and Mr. Biggers all served together. I am assuming he meant in the armed services and not some sentence in a penitentiary.” 
"Juliet began to add the bumble bee to her drawing. Maybe it looked a little cartoonish— perhaps too large to be true to scale— but it would make for a great children’s shirt. She should have thought of kid’s clothes before. 
“He is a veteran,” Garret admitted. “But he also worked border patrol. Retired after he was shot a second time. I guess he was smart enough to take a hint and get out before it came to a feet-first exit, which is more than some guys manage.” Juliet looked at Garret and then nodded. 
“That feels right. He seems….” She thought about it. “He doesn’t seem like regular law enforcement, not a rules and regulations person, but he is someone working on the side of order.” She didn’t mention the gun.
 “He doesn’t give you the creeps?” Garret asked. “He’s seems snake mean to me.”
 “He probably is,” Juliet agreed, remembering the feel of his hand on her mouth and how easily he’d manhandled her. “At least in the wrong situation. He doesn’t give me the creeps exactly, but I want to know what kind of dreams he has to make those damn puppets. Now those give me the creeps. And I think anyone who buys them has lizards in the brain.” 

~~~

"Lizards on the Brain..."??? Yep, that's a quote directly from Miss Henry...my kind of woman...LOL Enjoy cause it's highly recommended...

GABixlerReviews

Melanie Jackson, an award-winning author of more than fifty novels, stories and poems lives with her writer husband in the California Gold Country with their cat (also a writer who has a page on myspace) and their dog (who is hoping to get a page on facebook as soon as she masters typing). Melanie likes gardening but hates the deer who also like her garden, and she volunteers at a local animal shelter.

Paulette Mahurin Provides Excellent Debut Novel!

I love the cover of this novel by Paulette Mahurin, don't you? It perfectly sets the approximate period of time and allows us to better envision the cast of characters...and what a cast...

Please travel with me back to 1895 into a small town in Nevada. The first thing I learned was that world news was delivered by telegraph and posted centrally to be read by citizens.

the Dreyfus Affair divided France; Booker T. Washington gave his Atlanta address; Richard Olney, United States Secretary of State, expanded the effects of the Monroe Doctrine in settling a boundary dispute between the United Kingdom and Venezuela; and Oscar Wilde was tried and convicted for gross indecency under Britain’s recently passed law that made sex between males a criminal offense.

This poignant story is sad and yet beautiful... Mahurin has put it all right out there in her debut novel--all of the internal feelings in the world that are used to either love and support others or to destroy and hurt. It comes to mind that, in many ways, if the clothes on the cover were updated to the present and some of today's headlines replaced those for that year, that in many parts of the country, this story could easily hone in on what still happens in America. Perhaps that is why the author chose this as her topic? For whatever reason, his historical-looking novel is just as important, timely and relevant today as it was in 1895!

One of the significant additions I especially enjoyed was relevant quotes at the beginning of each chapter by Oscar Wilde. Although he appears in the novel only through news releases, he soon becomes the main individual around which...the gossip begins...

The Gossiper 

by Jean DeBuffet

"In contrast to Mildred, Josie thrived 

on being the center of attention.

Outside of them both being women, 

there was absolutely no similarity 

in appearance between the two. 

Whereas Mildred was a large woman with

 a face masculine in appearance, 

Josie was pretty in a feminine way with

 curved lips and eyebrows that accentuated 

her blue-green eyes and overly

 dilated pupils seeming always to be alert

 like an animal stalking prey. 

Were Josie to have a different personality

 or attitude she could be beautiful, 

like Edra, but her demeanor was so distasteful

 with constant faultfinding in others

 that it cast a dark ugliness over her.

 The mere comparison of Edra to Josie,

 for Mildred, was like comparing good with evil, 

beauty with ugliness, complete opposites 

that had nothing desirable in common."

 http://www.nashersculpturecenter.org

/object.aspx?ObjectID=21. .

Every town, every church, every organization seems to have at least one--she feels it is her responsibility to pinpoint issues of major importance--to be discussed, embellished, passed on, and regurgitated again and again. She also normally has an entourage who are not quite so bold, but who are quite willing to pass on the latest as presented by that woman--the town gossip! I cringe at the potential damage done by this type of woman. I must say that this author has "nailed" her perfectly and I enjoyed very much hating her and wanting her to be...
punished... Did you ever notice that America has a tendency to send such an offender away, rather than dealing with the situation? Nevertheless, the ending was appropriate, for that time...

Mildred Dunlap was the recipient of emotional abuse from this woman since she was a small child... But it had affected her greatly even if she never responded or shared her feelings. Mildred was now a wealthy woman who had inherited much from her father. She quietly used that wealth to help many people in that small town, but she was still hated by some and always someone who the town gossip included whenever she could.

But the latest news about Oscar Wilde had caused her great fear, for she knew that it would result in much discussion about why he had been arrested.

She immediately began to plan how to protect herself and her cousin, Edra, who, after being sexually abused at an early age, lived in fear thereafter, and had ultimately turned to Mildred for the love she needed...

She (and I) both wondered what would have happened if she had never started, but it was too late...

A local woman had died after a long illness, and as it was normal for neighbors to be visiting the home, helping when they could, Mildred decided that she should let him know she was interested... Edra was not happy about her plan...

Mildred thought this would be safe, thinking that he would never consider her seriously because of her own looks! It is impossible to merely tell you what happened in that little town, mostly when Josie opened her mouth!
But, there were also good people in that town...and they simply began to act as they felt they should...

Intense, disturbing, I found myself totally immersed in concern for Mildred and Edra. But I also had great empathy for Gus, a man who ran the local store, who had hidden the truth his entire life, by simply showing another person to the world. We are all so different from each other. Paulette Mahurin shows us, however, that we are all so very much alike! There is much to learn through her story if we open our hearts to what is said.

May this book be read widely and Mahurin's story be recognized for what it says to each of us--all of us!

And just an added note for the present lives we live...That gossiper is easily talking to many more these days. Please watch what you say on whatever social network you join...

Mahurin certainly "shows, not tells" us as this wonderful writer has easily entered into her character's true nature and captured what drives each to do what we choose. Listen and learn and perhaps we can all work to stop the persecution of one of today's citizens named "Mildred Dunlap"! Bullies are alive and well in 2012... History fans will enjoy the context and setting, but this drama deserves far-reading attention. Kudos to the author!


GABixlerReviews

Paulette Mahurin is a Nurse Practitioner who lives in Ojai, California with her husband Terry and their three dogs—Eli, Max, and Bella. She practices women’s health in a rural clinic and writes in her spare time.

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