SCARED... A Memoir Presented by Monolin Moreno

The Trail of Tears...

In 1837, Samuel Hough...became part of the great East-West movement, which was spurred by the creation of the non-slave Northwest Territory, a transportation revolution, a flood of new immigrants, and government sale of millions of acres of western land after the subjugation and forced removal of American Indians from their ancestral lands...

--A Village in Time by Neil C. Hughes

Everything has a beginning origin,

creation story

the universe, earth, rivers, trees,

you and me...

Manny

Moments

Sage burns in an abalone shell

Smoke spirals to heaven

My thoughts are on a mission

For things to think about

There are many stories to write

But this hummingbird has me on its wings

What happens now will not happen

Again as it is happening

I will not be remembered sitting here

Caught in this cross-fire of solitude

The smoke spiraling to heaven

Will not ascend this way again

Shadows moving across the ground

Have neither tongues nor eyes

***

I remember waking up at dawn on September 14, 1986, hungover like a big dog and putting on a pot of coffee to snap out of it. I got wasted the night before celebrating my thirty-first birthday out at Frank's Corner and only slept a few hours.

The sun was rising above the rooftops and streaming through an open window where I sat at the kitchen table, as cool breezes splashed in across my fact sobering me up. Everybody else was still in bed and the sounds of a train passing through Livingston echoed in the distance.

I was peeking out at the leaves of the big weeping willow tree in the backyard falling down like a shower of the feathers and carpeting down like a shower of tiny feathers and carpeting the ground around it in a circle. Suddenly Grandpa Manuel popped into my mind planting a long twig in the middle of the backyard in 1968, as a gift to us when we first moved here. I never believed it would grow into this big beautiful tree but Grandpa proved me wrong.

In my drunk and drugged stupor I was imaging grandpa's spirit was in the tree trying to reach out to me. That's what I wanted to believe and I whispered almost crying to the tree, "Help me Grandpa, help me." But I got no answer.

When the coffee was ready I got up and went into the bedroom to grab some pens and notebooks and sat back down to start writing out of desperation about my journey on this road of life. I wanted this book to be my gift to the family. But I never realized how hard it was going to be...

This is what I began to write about with the jitters on this morning thirty years ago, how my life evolved into becoming my worst enemy and about the shell of a man I had become...

"It's good to know where you come from so when you get asked to introduce yourself you can say who you are and who your ancestors were."

~~~

SCARED

A Memoir

Monolin "Manny" Moreno

Although we all know the history of what was done to our Native Americans, Manny Moreno, in his memoir, says little about how his life was affected as a man of color...Brown... Even his ancestry was questioned sometime... When I saw the cover picture of Manny, I wondered how this could be questioned... I had always admired Chief Dan George who used to appear on television when I was young and recognized the same strong features in the face of Manny Moreno...

They came to the room and Mom said "Sophie brought these elders to pray over you."
The husband said "Hello Manny, my wife and I would like to pray over you, do you mind?"
"Oh...yeah whatever," I was thinking if it weren't for them being elders I would have told them to go f... themselves. The three of us held hands and began to pray.
As they were praying I felt this electricity flow through my body from my feet to my head and then slowly back down to my feet. A great unexplainable peace came over me. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't think. All my senses were flowing with calmness. When they were done praying they left and I fell into a deep sleep...
I patted around my stomach when I woke up in the dim room and didn't feel the bag. There was only a piece of thick gauze where my gut had been sticking out. She said it was a miracle. That the bag was removed and I was patched back up...
~~~

I have enjoyed reading two of Manny's previous books, The Bridge is Gone, and The Elder, and suggest you read my reviews before you leave today and check these books out as well...

The key thing for me in highly recommending Manny's Memoir is that, even with the plight presented historically to our Native Americans and today, Manny chooses not to blame history. Yet, it is known by many that the movement of American Indians onto reservation land, and the concurrent discrimination of those who were here in the United States...first... led to a life of poverty and homelessness at the same time that, with no jobs available, many had nothing to do and began drinking and using drugs to escape... often staying out all night drinking and drugging at local bars listening to Santana...

While Manny also participated to his detriment, he openly shares  his early life experiences and allows us to realize the life of both he and his friends as they succumbed to hopelessness...

This is not an easy book to read. This is about being a child, children, and adults being forced to take jobs that nobody else is willing to do, it's about becoming an alcoholic or addict and what that meant to some--Death. Manny talks about being SCARED quite often...Manny spoke to my heart...and I believe he will touch many through his powerful words. 

Not only does he share about his own early life but he tracks his family activities as much as he was able to discover. For much of his life, he was mostly involved with Chicano friends. He knew he was Yaqui but could not find many documents of birth or place of origin. Still, his work is a major contribution for both his family and those interested in the history of Native Americans.

Manny shares of discrimination against those with brown skin, even in school and in their towns--"I remember these white business owners in town saying stupid things like, Mexicans are used to being poor, they're happy like that, they're content to have cheap dirty menial jobs and didn't mind living out in Gallo camp cramped like sardines in tiny cinder block shanties and in town in old dilapidated shacks." Seriously? Sometimes I just don't understand some of those people who also have white skin like me...

It was when Manny got involved with his heritage that I felt better, even though he got to that place by going into detox... There is a different approach to the author's writing as he begins to talk about those days. And readers see the man, who had struggled for so many years, awaken as he began to feel better about himself and to meet others who spoke of and celebrated their ancestors.

Many of us have been intrigued by the supernatural surrounding Native Americans, but as Manny shared stories he had experienced in his early life, several were quite scary and inexplicable... at least to me... except the one where he was healed after being prayed for...

Although his latest book is his memoir, I believe there is still much for Manny to share with his readers... It is clear from the various talents he has--artist, poet and writer, that God has presented him with many gifts... In his story, several incidents felt to me that God's intervention had more than once saved his life...

A note about the writing...Manny speaks from his past life, with much street language. There are also minor proofreading errors but not enough to prevent the reader from understanding and placing much value on his story.  Through help from many, Manny continues to speak for his Indian world while becoming recognized as a spiritual leader in ceremonies and the various communities where he shares his ancestral dances and stories for the young. A final personal note from me...when you buy one of Manny's books, as I did this one, you are helping him meet his basic life needs of food and shelter... Through Manny's story, you may find recognition...sympathy... or even despair knowing how our Native Americans live in today's world. Please check this book out as well as his other creative contributions...

GABixlerReviews

Visit Manny's Site!

Welcome, I am Monolin Manny Moreno. I grew-up in the San Joaquin Valley in a small town named Livingston. My roots here go back to 1919 when my grandparents arrived here looking for work, from Sonora, Mexico and Arizona, Yaquis. In those times along the border and south of it, the Revolution was taking place and many Indigenous families came north looking to survive and raise their families. My family Yaqui records date back so far to the late 1700's. I am an Enrolled Member of State Recognized Texas Band of Yaqui Indians.
I grew-up during the 1960's and 70's DE-colonizing my mind. During these times I was writing poetry and painting. I have been writing since I was a boy, inspired and encouraged in part by my mother and an aunt. I accumulated many notebooks over decades and self published small chapbooks along the way. My first book released in 2008 is titled The Bridge is Gone, poetry. My latest release is titled The Elder, a tribute. My memoir, Scared, has just been published.

I work seasonal and the sales of my books helps me to get by another day. I am striving to write and record life in this area but living circumstances make it very difficult. So all proceeds of my books when ordered directly through me go to me.
I have also included videos, interviews and art work as well as some publicity clips on my work.Thank you for dropping by and don't forget to order...Click to my site now...

Manny

Review: The Bridge is Gone! A Common Man's Must Read!

Image by Smithsonian Institution via Flickr

The Bridge is Gone:
Poems by Monolin


By Monolin "Manny" Moreno

Perhaps it was because we are around the same age and have many years to look back on that I so much became involved and appreciated the poetry in The Bridge is Gone by Manny Moreno. Actually, he set me up right from the first page by adding a beautiful image, "Time." In fact, each image throughout the book took more time to study, than to read his words--they are that compelling.

Each of the five drawings, especially the one on the back cover, are worth the price of the book! Each is intricately created, with a basic collage of Indian faces, but then, somehow, nature, God, people, and love radiate from the overall effect and we, who are privileged to see them, are filled with wonder as we stop to study the symmetry, the detail, and imagination flowing from each...

As with his other book, soon to be published, Manny also includes photos from his life and his surroundings, which provides readers with a cultural "inside" that would not easily be found.

Now I must tell you about his poetry! Readers of my reviews have always wanted a sample, so I will include the last one in his book, which, in essence, seems to represent the man I am coming to know:

Common Man

There's a lot of things

I don't understand

I'm just a common man

ask me how the world was created

I'll direct you to the sky

ask me about politics

I'll say lie   cheat   genocide

Imperialistic pride

ask me about religion

I'll say man's plan

ask me about spirituality

I'll say Creator's plan

ask me about anything

I'll say who wants to know?

There's a lot of things

I don't understand

I'm just a common man.

And it is within this poem that we find the essence of this poet--he is a commoner, just like most of us, and his words easily become those that we might think or say, if only we had the gift to poetically share our thoughts. Manny takes us back to our childhood and points out so much of that time has disappeared, with what it is called progress and perhaps it is progress, but it also means that part of our memories no longer exist, except in our minds.

Manny talks of lost love, that keeps him awake, "can't sleep, for a hurt that hurts like hell..."(p. 21) and goes on to say, "I cannot love anybody if I cannot love me..." ((p. 91). But remembers well of his early life, "mom's cooking beckoning us into the house with love. (p. 65)

The most dramatic work must be "Sleepless Night in Stockton" which has 14 parts on 11 pages. Picture a single man, alone in the city, coming home to the quiet apartment, no noise, no people, only his words to help create an escape, trying to unwind, realizing how old he is, remembering his past, his family, yet  his "thoughts find themselves in travail and pow-wow in circles...A Yaqui/Tarascan maneuvering in this reservation of modern-I-zation, everyday a warrior." For he, like all of us, must hold on to what we are..

And then Manny Moreno sings, prays...and catches some z's...

An Introduction provides readers with a little of this poet's personal story, along with over 50 beautifully written poetic stories to complement his days. Now he is an Elder--he has his hand drum, a rattle, sage, sweetgrass and cedar for the fire and will continue to celebrate and pray for our world--where The Bridge is Gone! A Must-Read for we who are the common people of America...

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Review: In Writing A Tribute Writer Shares His Own Destiny...

Image by Oregon State University Archives via Flickr

After Harry Jack's stroke, he asked his "nephew" Manny to pour the water in the sweat lodge

The Elder: 
A Tribute


By Monolin "Manny" Moreno



I was honored to have had the opportunity to read The Elder by Monolin Moreno with Lillian Vallee, a renowned literary professor and translator, providing the Introduction. How many of us show the love we have for another through the creation of a statement of memoriam to that individual (and other elders)?

Indeed, The Elder is so much more than that, for in showing his love and respect for the elders in this book, Manny Moreno has also shown us an important part of his life and the lives and rich culture of his people. I have read many fictional books that are based upon our Native Americans Indian culture and learned much, but none of them have given me the opportunity to love their characters as I did in Manny's book. For it is these individuals who have and are still trying to retain the ceremonial and prayer heritage that was once so much a part of their lives. I am grateful for that experience!

The Elder begins as the funeral is conducted for Harry Jack and Manny comes and says a prayer to Grandfather to receive Harry Jack's spirit. But soon, Manny is enclosed within a blanket. Harry had sponsored Manny and he would be received today into the Black Wolf Gourd Clan and participate as part of that clan as honor is given to Harry Jack. It is as they dance and wept that Harry began to look back as to how and when Manny and Harry had crossed paths.

It had been in the 1980's at a powwow, when there was a dance contest. All of the young were dressed in full ceremonial garb except Harry came with just one feather. As if ordained, Harry won the contest, dancing as he had always danced so many years before... At that event, Manny stumbled literally into Harry and though he immediately apologized. Harry scolded him. This was to be the relationship that seemed to occur over and over for many years, though Manny continued to treat his elder with the respect due.

Manny begins to tell his own story at this point, sharing that his life was essentially one long drunk until one night at an AA meeting he met Chili Willie Burns and Beaver. They encouraged him to go to the Three Rivers Indian Lodge, an alcohol and substance recovery center for Native Americans. Harry Jack was there...

And Manny was for the first time to enter the sweat lodge. While Harry talked about Indian ways, about sobriety, Manny began to feel good and at peace. But then it got hotter and hotter; that first time Manny ran out of the lodge. Harry called him crazy. Beaver came to help him back to his place.

But Manny came back to the Lodge and he stayed...

Both Harry Jack and Manny were stubborn men and they had many "run-ins" over the next decades. However, slowly the love and respect were what held them together until Harry Jack, when he had a stroke, chose Manny as his "nephew" to pour the water for him...

Manny and I are in the same situation now. We are now "the elders" of our respective families. One of the main issues that you cannot fail to miss in Manny's book, is the need to consider and reconsider the treatment of our older family members. As Lillian Vallee states, "his book is a plea for the reintegration of elders into the fabric of our culture." Now, Manny is the elder and he is called upon to give the prayers, to pour the water, to pray over a new-born... He does this while working as a laborer and living with others as possible...

Manny Moreno has his manuscript totally prepared and ready to be published. He is looking for a publisher and I believe The Elder must be placed on the shelves of many. To this end, this reviewer is committing $500 to help with the costs to publish this book. Will YOU help? I am sure Manny will share more about his book with you. Pain of Forgiving is also in manuscript ready for publishing.

The Bridge is Gone was Manny's first book and is available at Amazon or Back40 Publishing (click on article title to go there).