Jimmy Olsen's Things in Ditches More Fun Than Mysterious...

Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

things in ditches:
a murder mystery

by jimmy olsen

[Ok, ignore the comic book pic, I just had to slide a reference in at least once!]


Another weekend with Jimmy Olsen, this time with many more chuckles! The characters drive the story and I promise you will not be able to guess whodunit! That's because there are so many possibilities, and, besides, we already have a confession! But the action just keeps going even with that confession!

While Dutch Cleland is considering suicide, running away, or just giving himself up, the local police and the sheriff are gearing up for a manhunt. Then there is a small twist, the deceased's husband shows up, and goes after Dutch since he knows that Vicki was once involved with him. Only Dutch gets the best of him and leaves him, thinking he's dead! Two murders--what can he do?!

"That doesn't explain why it led to violence afterwards."
The psychologist smiled. "You look confused. What I'm
asking, if you had a sexual encounter--heat of the
moment--why isn't that enough? How did you get from
there to killing her and trying to end your own life?"
~~~

There's a small town Barney Fife flavor to this story, with someone like Aunt Bee as the town's dispatcher--or, rather, she seems to be the most logical of the group trying to solve the murder... first one they had in years! Vicky had been found in a ditch. As the killer was telling his wife the next morning--he'd not committed adultery this time, this time it was murder... Yes, he really said that... Then they went on to discuss other issues in their lives. Jean was a schoolteacher while Dutch was the town butcher...

They later named him the Butcher of Willow River...said he'd chopped up the body and made hamburgers out of it...You never know what the gossips are going to say--after all there's money in advertising they had a killer in town...

Vicky had been found by Walleye... He had been working the ditches since he was small and sometimes had help from children whose parents had not made them afraid of Walleye. His mother had died and now he lived alone and really didn't have anybody to explain what was right and wrong to his slow mind. He didn't think he was so slow--it was just that everybody else seemed to think and act too fast. So when they took the body that he had found in his ditch to the morgue, Walleye thought about it for a very long time and decided that that body was his. After all, one time a stranger was in town and he'd been taking bottles and cans from his ditch and the Sheriff had told that man that everything in that ditch belonged to Walleye. He would always remember that!

But he didn't tell anybody that he was going to take Vicky back!

www.abqjournal.com
"Walleye stepped around the lame tricycle and looked into the woods. He didn't like woods. Trees tangled around
in odd shapes, all mixed up and dark, hiding stuff. But ditches weren't so bad. There were things to be found in
ditches, especially these, cut wide to keep the trees back from the road and make snow removal easier.
"He scanned the ditch carefully. Gold mine. Plenty of cans, even a few glass bottles. Further in, just beyond
where the tree began, he spotted something white. Maybe a usable piece of plastic.
"If it was plastic and he dared go in there and get it, he'd use it to wrap up the cans and bottles, fix the tricycle
some how and haul the whole works back home. He looked again into the woods. The trees were wet,
dripping. The wind slid through their naked branches, and he didn't care much for the noise it made.
"He crabbed sideways down the incline, keeping an eye on the plastic until he reached the bottom and lost
sight of it. Glancing back, the road seemed far. Dead, soaking grass wetted his filthy trousers, numbing his
skinny legs. He responded with big exaggerated steps across the ditch to the trees, then halted. The trees, dark
dripping hulks flooded by fog made his nostrils tingle with smells of rotting leaves, mushy wood, and damp earth.
He wanted to go back.
"Walleye couldn't explain what happened next. It was a feeling and he wasn't good with feelings, like how he felt
that time Larry his black lab got run down on the highway and he watched blood bubble from his nose and refused
to turn away. Some things were too terrifying to miss...
"There in the leaves a white ghost had arisen from some abandoned grave to eat him. Naked and wide-eyed, she
stared right into him. Wet leaves clung in her yellow hair and she smiled at him with a hungry mouth and he
thought she shrieked his name.
"Walleye's own screams stuck in his throat as he lay panting beside her, fighting for breath, incapable of
looking away.
"It was a pretty lady. Not perfect pretty, like soap ladies on TV. An oval face long in the chin. Not too feminine
nose and eyebrows--thick, bushy, darker than her golden hair. He wanted to concentrate on these things,
and the eyes, because this was the first time he'd seen a naked lady. Though he'd seen his mother's saggy breasts
when he surprised her and she called him naughty.
"The blue eyes held him too. They weren't yet dull and flat like doll eyes and it seemed to Walleye they could
still see. He stared into them and some of his fright drained away.
~~~

Now Charlie was really a decent cop, but he'd just got it into his head that since Dutch had confessed, then all he had to do was find him...And since, the guy he found behind the Butcher Shop was Vicky's husband, then Dutch thought he killed him too... 'Cause Murdock, Vicki's present husband was still alive when he was found, so once out of the hospital, he once again started looking for Dutch! In the meantime, Vicky's first husband came to town to identify the body at Charlie's request, but, of course, by the time he got there, the body had been lost!

It was Charlie's dispatcher that pointed out that there had to be real evidence to prove Dutch had murdered Vicky. So, he did go and interview Jean, Dutch's wife...but she was "standing by her man" even if he had confessed to her... In the meantime, Dutch leaves town to hide out and his best friend, Len Davis, a corporation lawyer, decides he needs to help, so he visits Jean as well...

Well, if you remember the keystone cops, you can imagine how everybody was running around, with both the police, and friends and enemies all out looking for Dutch...

There's one flashback scene that was outrageously funny when Vicky calls Dutch, her first husband, and her present lover, and his wife, all together to amicably discuss Vicky's being in love with the third guy!

And all I got to say is that this book isn't over until the very last page and these twists and turns are solid U-Turns instead of the usual either/or situations...I told you, you'll never really guess how this book is going to end! This is just 99 cents for the Kindle copy right now...Get it! You deserve to laugh today!


GABixlerReviews

About the Author. When I was young I wanted to become two things: a scuba diver and an author. I managed to accomplish both by age fifteen. An ex-Navy frogman in Minneapolis taught me scuba, and I taught myself to write stories that terrified the girls in my study hall. Though I’ve been a high school and university teacher, a draft horse wrangler, bus driver, treasure hunter and sailor, I haven’t changed much over the years. I love diving in warm, clear water and I can’t stop writing stories. Storytelling draws us together, and I like sea stories best.

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• You've Got To Read Poison Makers by Jimmy Olsen when he takes us to The Dominican Republic and Haiti in the 70s!

You've Got To Read Poison Makers by Jimmy Olsen when he takes us to The Dominican Republic and Haiti in the 70s!

"Your parents Mr. Espinosa-Jones," Mr. Yancy wheezed. "I'm about to send their only son in harm's way. This matter must be handled discreetly. I remind you again that Caamano is in the hills, our Presidente surrounded by political enemies, the nation remains suspicious of the U.S., and the energy crisis  threatens our new economy." He caught his breath. "These are more than headlines. If it's even whispered that the United States Ambassador was murdered here in his own residence, we may endure 1965 all over again. You see why I'm concerned?"
~
..."Tell me about Haiti... 
"Oh yes, Three reasons you must go to Haiti Mr. Espinosa- Jones," he told me. The first two are explained in this letter." He handed me a thick packet bound with clear packaging tape. "Explanations - one about voodoo
generally, another about zombies. 
Voodoo is always with us, but zombies? "And the third reason is the girl?" 
"Yes, You must meet her secretly. Too many eyes in this country. After you arrive, she'll make contact..."
~~~

Poison Makers

By Jimmy Olsen

I was going to stage a marathon of Olsen's books, but the first one I read this weekend, Poison Makers, I fell asleep reading last night and finished it first thing this morning! Couldn't wait to have you meet E.J. That's Sr. Espinoza-Jones that is, but by the time you've lived with him through the numerous near-death experiences, you'll think of him as a personal friend and easily call him E.J. In fact you might even call him an extraordinary hero... Wellll, part of the reason why I'm using those two words is because I can't tell you about all the things that got me so excited, else I'll be giving away too much...so maybe I'll throw in a few pics as hints! LOL

E.J, a mulatto whose mother came from Minnesota, is a scuba diving expert, but he also gets pulled into some investigations, although he's not a P.I., nor does he normally carry a gun. In fact, as I think about it, he must be a little bit crazy for doing some of the things he does! LOL... One minute I would be laughing and soon I'd be so scared for him that I literally had trouble breathing--especially when he was having the same trouble...

http://crabbymamma.blogspot.com
"There are stories about crabs, how
they've eaten the eyes from the
corpses of sailors. This crab seemed
large and curious, nibbling gently
at the wrinkled skin across my
stomach, preparing, I thought, to take
a serious bite. It didn't know how angry
I was, how cold and hungry after two
days in a hole. Or how patient I'd
become as it moved sideways along my
belly, keeping its claws pointed up
in defiance..."
~~~

That happens when you are under water, hopefully swimming to save your life, being attacked by crabs, who, upon being knocked out, quickly became dinner, and breakfast, and lunch, and... That wasn't so bad to imagine eating raw crab but when he worried about getting dehydrated and decided to...

Ok, let's go back to the beginning...E. J. was hired by an individual who becomes an intermediary for others, Mr. Yancy, to find out what happened to the Ambassador of the U.S. to  the Dominican Republic. When he's got up that morning, he had watched as the Marines were placing him on the plane to be flown back home.

Mr. Yancy was quick to point out the many political issues that required much discretion, then gave him a packet of materials about voodoo and zombies and told him about travel arrangements for him to travel to Haiti and meet with the Ambassador's daughter.

"He stopped cutting then and came around to face me. The
childlike chubbiness of his face lent his words all the more
gravity. "When I was in Nueva York to visit my brother we
went to a famous church, I forget the name, at the front was
a cross suspended by large chains. The cross was polished
wood. The Savior was not on it." he said. "Jesu-cristo is on
the cross here in Santo Domingo in my church, the church of
my father. Here we have also the blood. We paint it red.  This
is because we have seen the blood and know it is on our hands.
Do not go to Haiti, mi amigo. As the blood of Cristo is real,
evil is real. Lo autentico."
..."Cosme's fear of evil had made me nervous..."
~~~

Finding out who killed the Ambassador, if he indeed was murdered, made sense to E.J., but what was all this about voodoo and zombies? And why should he have to meet his daughter.So, of course, he went to his barber, to ask him what he knew about voodoo! Actually, the barber is an important character, so we do need to know what he said...
"Evil. Perverso."

Olivia Quist was not what E. J. had been expecting. She looked sophisticated, older, but verified that she was just 19. Even then, he couldn't help but feel the mutual attraction that seemed to be happening. But they had a job to do. Even though when they walked through the crowds and held hands, and there was a communion of sorts, E.J. knew he was playing with fire, especially since he was already involved and with a woman who was not to be forgotten so easily...

But Haiti gave him the creeps, especially after
they'd attended their first voodoo ceremony. But
that was just the beginning... Fortunately, E.J.
was a good friend of a local police officer and
they worked together on much of what was to be
done, so that the first death attempt by poison
had both of them taken to the hospital! That was calmly done by a couple who had worked in the Quist home--Dulce and Alejandro! A couple who clearly were out to kill E.J., and were nearly successful! The fascinating thing was that the entire island had been placed on alert, but this couple successfully followed them back to the States and then were back and still following. He later found out that they obviously had been given diplomatic passes, but that didn't explain why the police had not identified them as being wanted for attempted murder!

I wish I could tell you about the scene when E.J. walks into a restaurant nude and has lunch...

Or his maid having "curlers" in her hair during a party that were actually...

But, really, there is so much I want to tell you about this book that there is only one thing I can say--You've got to read it!

This author has a wonderful sense of humor tand slips these little scenes in between thrilling, breath-taking action scenes and what it does for readers is break the tension so much that you've just got to laugh out loud! LOL! Go ahead, I did often in this book, except when...the zombies were around...

And when they pounded the nails in E.J.'s coffin and I read what he was thinking, hearing the sounds and seeing the voodoo crowd standing above him through the cracks between boards...Well, that sure isn't a time to do anything but...

wait for the calvary!

Of course the Calvary was just two...and I so wish I could tell you about that delightful U.S. officer who was planning the next attack on Castro, while his horny wife from Borneo was planning for E.J. and her...

Bottom line, aside from the humorous interludes, this is a fascinating novel that has so many colorfully drawn characters who will grab readers and keep their attention riveted...I'm looking forward to the next in this series! Hear that, Jimmy Olsen! Get writing! And I'm hoping that E.J. and his unforgettable lover become closer next time! Plan for a delightfully entertaining read with Poison Makers!

Do you know how Zombies are made? I do?  NOW!

GABixlerReviews

Jimmy Olsen didn't start writing fiction until he was well past 40. In the tradition of American writers like Jack London and Louis L'Amour, Olsen spent much of his life seeking adventure. He began scuba diving in 1961 at age 13 and continues today. 

A machine-gunner in Vietnam, after two tours he settled down awhile, married, started a family and graduated college with a BS in English. Still at college, he published his first national story in a diving magazine. A year later he moved his family to Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic where he taught at a private American school and started the Republic's first professional diving school, Scuba Dominican, C por A. Hearing rumors of shipwrecks and gold, Olsen and a small group of adventurers discovered the site of the French Man-O-War Imperial and several other vessels. 

After five years in the Caribbean, Olsen completed his MA at the University of Alabama and returned to writing, taking a job with a daily newspaper in Athens, Alabama for a year before becoming an editor back home in Minnesota. This lasted four years before the thirst for adventure overtook him again and he was back in the diving business, traveling to dive destinations from the Caribbean to the South Pacific. The snorkeling scene in Thing In Ditches comes directly from the author's own rich experiences. 

Jimmy Olsen has written two additional novels, Scuba, due to be released next year and YR-71, a Vietnam seafaring adventure set near Da Nang. In addition, he's completed 20 short stories, some set in his native Minnesota and others from around the globe. Several of these have recently been sold and will soon be in print. Olsen continues to travel extensively, returning to the Dominican Republic to dive his old haunts only hours before Hurricane Georges. Equally at home at the keyboard of a computer or his ancient Royal, Olsen spends his writing days in a north woods setting without even the basic comforts such as running water or electricity and at his modern office in the city. He has three children, now grown, and lives with his wife in Minnesota.