From the Man Known for His "It Has To be Said" Videos, Frank Schaeffer, Now Presents, perhaps, His Own Personal Love Story Memoir...

How about this: Genie’s easygoing intelligence and friendly, unpretentious, graceful kindness always makes her an instant hit with the wisest, most empathetic people. And Genie is my wife, lover, and best friend.

If I’d “repented” and rejoined the fold, we could have used the well-tried model of Christian-leader-screws-up-blames-Satan-repents, then is “called” back to a GOD CASH “ministry.”

I first met Frank Schaeffer on Facebook, when I was there the First Time which lasted about 15+ years. Then I've followed him on YouTube since... His commentaries are always timely, so this latest one on Tucker would not have been known to me and many of us who do not follow "conservative news." We've learned from Fox News what that normally includes--Lies!

Shaeffer has been stead-fast, as with many others, who saw DJT as the man he was right from the beginning... I had finally found somebody who I knew I could trust... Why? because one of the first videos I listened to was his accounting of what occurred at a meeting with evangelical christians related to Trump. Yes, he and his father was there... Soon thereafter, he chose to break away from religion, while continuing to pray and recognize God as part of his life. He says it many other ways, but I saw through his protestations as a cover of his shame in what was being planned... 

Since then, whenever I catch his videos, I save them as favorites automatically, knowing that there will be a time when I want to hear his opinion. I don't recall a time when, after listening to the entire video, that I have not agreed with his opinion and/or learned from it. But I never had really gotten to know Frank, the man--the man who daily lived, seemingly for his family and for speaking truth... Learning he babysat daily was an interesting "plus" for this man who had rejected religion without rejecting God's love... So, when he started talking about his latest book, which he was going to give away free on YouTube, I went ahead and bought it to start reading... 

The book is written in shorts--as is his videos... Thus you can read a day's writing, or you can continue to read based upon a topic being covered. I found this was a convenient way to also keep reading other books to keep my blog readers busy. LOL It took me longer to read the entire book, but I believe breaking it down to easily come back provided an opportunity to better digest and learn from what was being said...

The basic premise is to Find the joy and happiness in your life through Love... His use of his companion, Zip, to spotlight his message was delightful, but when you read it, you will find that it is, more, a memoir, of his life with his family. Beginning with the time he was still involved with his family's "cult" as he now calls it... which, fully stated, was a "cult of male domination..."

Having never know a father, I found Frank Schaeffer's story to be a compelling one. To be able to find his true love and continue to live a life you'd learned from your family, and begin to see what really loving a woman and a family calls for, is a unique experience from a man who, late in his life, has become willing to share a story which, in my opinion, should be read by every male now alive. The contrast of what is being taught through christian nationalism is so far different that readers will immediately know that Frank is a man you can know and trust. In his family life, he may have his personal opinions, but he would never, after many years, attempt to become the dominant figure of the family--that was never intended. He shares his life with his wife as his primary soulmate we have always heard about... But many never really believed it... Read his story to learn.

His Latest Video... - Re Hate, of Any Kind...

And predictability is what my parents stripped their children of by volunteering us into an “open home” where we had to save our “guests” for Jesus, as they wandered around stoned, awake at all hours, or sometimes threatening suicide during a “bad drug trip.” An animal, be it a human animal child or a dog like Zip, who doesn’t know when the food will appear or what other animal (or mentally deranged human) will wander in, can discern no consistent schedule and so experiences constant distress. That is never what happens to Zip, let alone to my grandchildren I do childcare for, but describes my three sisters’ and my childhood in a nutshell.

Zip doesn’t read but teaches everyone around him by brilliant, generous, and kind example. If Zip could read and write, here’s what Zip might say:

• There are no small moments!  There is just the time you have— right now!  Life is not about some “big plan!”

• Your life is about how you interact with others!  The “important” meeting you’ll go to is no more significant than the extra moment you spend talking to the woman delivering a package.

• ALONE IS BAD!  TOGETHER IS GOOD!  CONNECT!  Alienation and isolation, distrust and disconnection from others never end well.  Bluntly: evolution wants lonely people dead. The surgeon general said so. 

 Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an urgent warning about the epidemic of loneliness and social isolation. He said “Loneliness and social isolation increase the risk for premature death by 26% and 29% respectively … lacking social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. … Poor or insufficient social connection is associated with increased risk of disease, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of Stroke. Furthermore is associated with increased risk for anxiety, depression and dementia.” 

These days when I hug Genie while we’re standing in the kitchen, in hallways, bedrooms, or on a walk with Zip, my arms wrapped around her tightly, my hands clasped behind her back, Genie makes the most comfortable sighing mmmm sound. This happiest of all sounds of deep contentment makes me feel deliriously joyful.

~~~

Zip leads the family in their acceptance of friendliness and joy, as, whenever the mail comes, and he hears the mail being delivered, Zip runs from wherever he is to say Hi! Barking to say hello to Elena, he will wait to have Frank open the door so they can visit! Everybody in the neighborhood knows Elena and comes out, even if they have a Trump sign in their yard. He is friendly to his neighbors and goes to the local Hispanic church, participating as a leader... It's nice to know that friendliness can override the hate of this administration...

Classical tapes play in the background of Genie's work area, or even children's stories when babysitting occurs. But, it has to be known that this couple also acquired every 1960s rock album made...

By age 6, granddaughter Nora could sing all the songs from two of the albums by the Beatles! LOL

Soon readers will begin to relax and enjoy how this family lives--together always--but in such a friendly environment that you'll begin to feel the "vibe" of living and loving... But Frank admits it took him longer to find the "bliss..."

Isolating someone from friends and family is the hallmark of a controlling abuser. In the earlier days of our marriage, Genie had to travel to visit her family and friends because I denied her the pleasure of hosting family and friends in our home. My anti-visitor phobia took longer to get over than anything else. Get over are the wrong words to describe what happened. I should rather say: I took longer to learn to behave differently. I still regard visitors as intruders. I still love a shut door. The difference is, the older version of me welcomes guests and family these days, for Genie’s sake. My coping and changing behavior was only possible when I learned to separate feelings (unreliable) from actions (measurable). I learned Genie and I did not live in my house but in our home.  I learned that life with Genie was not about finding myself, but about finding ourselves.  I learned that how I act could (eventually with enough brain-changing repetition) become who I am.  I learned that being “happy” all the time isn’t what life is about.  I learned to stop excusing my shitty behavior as a reaction to the way my parents trashed our home’s privacy and take responsibility for how I was behaving.

Now, you might question how long that actually took, so I can only say that this was on page 54 and there was still 300 pages to read... I'd say that's a statement that you can go with, especially since, I have to confess, I'm like Frank... I've always been an introvert who enjoys books behind a closed door, more than "some people..." especially right now seeing the hate and violence... Still, there is always time to keep learning... Schaeffer's admissions allow each of us to keep trying...

But there is no doubt about it, Zip has played a major part in changing the public figure of Frank Schaeffer! Cats do that for me--but then I never had a childhood like Frank had...

Why do I interrupt my writing for Zip? Maybe he fulfills a physiological need. As Jessica Pierce says, biologists have discovered physiological explanations for why we enjoy touching and being touched by our dogs. Sensory neurons are found in mammals, including in us. These neurons stimulate the release of the hormone oxytocin when we pet dogs. And oxytocin plays an important role in bonding, trust, and wound-healing. And Pierce says we shouldn’t underestimate how much can be communicated between dogs and humans. Besides holding or petting them we also communicate well with dogs. Pierce writes, “It is how somebody says the words, or when, or with what look in their eye that tells us what we really need to know. They talk with their ears, eyes, face, and body.” Dogs speak to us the same way. They know to follow a pointing finger, and they follow the direction of our gaze. They can make inferences about the reliability of the human giving the cues, responding more consistently to reliable human sources they trust. Pierce writes, “Researchers believe that dogs evolved their vocal repertoire to facilitate communication with us. And we are actually quite adept at reading their signals, too. For example, humans are good at accurately interpreting dog emotions by quality of barks.” And just as dogs follow our gaze they seem to expect us to follow theirs.[21] So I know what Zip needs, and he “reads” me too. That paw on my wrist as I type says, “SEE ME.” I like being seen too. I like Zip’s healing touch. When Zip looks up at me and I hold his gaze, he is communicating. It is not a stretch to say he is saying, I love you. And Zip has made me into a kinder person. Pierce says “a correlation between positive relationships with pets and the development of humane attitudes toward animals in general, as well as the expansion of empathy for other people.” A study found that, in preschool children, empathy for animals is correlated with empathy toward other schoolchildren. Children with strongest bonds to animals showed the highest empathy scores.[22] In our home there is no question that Zip sets a “tone” of caring. He softens the mood. Being with Zip all day puts Genie and me into a certain frame of mind that can be described as cheerful kindness.

Readers will find that Schaeffer is also well read and there will be references documenting the basis upon which he writes--including a list of footnotes in the print copy I have... Do enjoy reading this book. It's free if you wish...below... or if you wish to support this writer's ongoing commitment to helping our world be retained as a democracy... it can be found on Amazon... 

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