I've been reading one of Tim Speiss' book, Christianity:A Successful Failure. It's a well-researched and learned book, so much so, that I have become just a little bit sad. Because I know it is true. Thoughts tumble as I write. I went to YouTube for two songs, Let There Be Peace on Earth, and War, What Is It Good For...
Instead, all these songs started popping up--I'm not kidding... Can God indeed be watching what is happening in our World? Of course, but can He be so involved? Yet each morning, I open my computer and see His tears. This morning, I looked closer and saw the pain in His eyes. The deep pain of knowing that We Need His Help. Yet we have turned from him...
I've started writing "My memoirs" for want of a better term to use. Actually, in my heart I call them self-help. I'm hoping that somebody who reads my words, listens to the songs that either come from my mind, or, I believe, from His Spirit (you decide), may find one or more answers to let them know that what they are experiencing, are living, well, that you're not alone...
Way back when I was taking a non-verbal communication class at WVU, taught by Enid Portnoy, she asked the class members to use one word to describe our best communication skill. I promptly said Listen. You see, I've been a listener all of my life. Or, to use a comparison, I've been listening to writers all of my life, as their reader... Some words have been joyful, fun, helpful. Others have been painful, hurt, and lost. I've never been able to remember even the story lines of most books, but I remember the emotions that a particular writer shared with me...
I was talking to my friend Rachel, yesterday, and I was sharing more about what going through Job Burnout (Emotionally Damaged) has done. I mention to her that I used to be able to share conversations with friends. Who, I now find, I'm not sure how to do that. She mentioned that she used to argue with her brother all the time. I woke up thinking about that conversation. I realized that, as usual, I had always played the role of listener in just about any conversation I've ever had. Even in business, I could initiate conversations, but it was my interest in listening that led me to be responsive to those with whom I worked, at least for the majority of my career.
Was it the changes made to my brain through overwork that have affected me? Or, was it my own realization that, instead of always listening, I wanted to speak my mind? Does it matter? I don't think so, really. As my "adopted" nephew taught me--It is What It Is... Now, after 7 decades of my life, I find I am to speak. Or, His Spirit quickly inserted (Wow), or, yes, or, am I still continuing to Listen... But it is My Savior to whom I am now listening with open ears... (Yes, this was the next popup vid, that I had paused...
I've been crying, as you might have guessed... For I looked up at the search line on YouTube, and there were my typed words, War, What Is it Good For... During the last few days, I had noticed that they had not been moving forward to new songs, but just waited... Now, this morning, each song has just come forth. Two, I didn't use...but knew they were relevant to what I was originally going to say... So, I've decided to stop this post right here...
I believe this is God's Message to You. All of You, I have accepted Jesus/Joshua as my Savior. My friend. If you believe my words, just stop and picture His tears, His eyes. Yes the picture was painted by a man. But, I can attest to this, we are selected to speak for Him. You will know we are Christians by our Love...
God Bless
Gabbie
No comments:
Post a Comment