Friday, August 20, 2021

It's Friday again...and I'm now in a Pensive Mood...


  • I wrote a little bit this week about the Bible story of the Talents. Do you remember what it's about?
  • I feel that God has given talents to doctors, scientists, nurses, and even President Biden and others who are daily placing themselves in danger to stop the spread of Covid...
  • And God, when prayers are sent up by those who had not taken advantage of the talents already provided to fight Covid, must wonder, "Why have you not acted to share in the wealth of the talents I've given to doctors, et.al., to meeting your needs in this time when an enemy has sent a deadly virus... Therefore, I will take the talent I gave you and add it to those of the many who are fighting so hard to save as many lives as possible on my behalf...
  • ~~~
  • Thoughts!?

 I started to read earlier, taking a break, but the new book was about a older woman, facing her death...I was almost immediately pulled back into my own life as I see the years fly by, while, sometimes, the days seem so long...

It's quiet now. My caretaker was here to mow. He has become a friend, who also takes out my garbage as often as he is here...Now, I can feel his frustration, as he stayed away from me, explaining that his sister and other family members have contracted Covid. Thankfully, it is not the Delta strain. This is the first I've seen him in over a week, so it was good to see him even though I didn't have a friend to share a few words with...

He's also been my driver and helper with groceries. But he's had to make adjustments to his schedule to deal with his heavy lawn care jobs as well as the issues for his home and family. I knew it was coming, but have no alternatives to my own needs at this time...

Except, that, this morning, I received my second large delivery order from Walmart through their new program. I had taken the initiative to accept the test trial for it and found myself caught within the "mess" of a new system being implemented without total debugging and testing... I have to chuckle because it reminded me of the "mess" Biden is now dealing with in Afghanistan.  Sure, it, too, is a mess... After all, Trump had signed a deal with having Americans out of Afghan by May and so Biden had early announced that they would be leaving. I was happy and so were many Americans. Now I wonder what Trump and the Taliban leaders said.  I've learned that deals were being made for months... Who really knows... What we do know is that the leader of Afghanistan and its military swiftly left. Now, as iis often the case, the public immediately started to complain when the "mess" started. Yes, Biden is taking responsibility... At least this leader is accepting responsibility and working hard to deal with this along with the other major issues he inherited.

This past week, I also had been active... It was to my benefit to have Walmart succeed--otherwise, I didn't know how I would get my food and other supplies. So, like Biden, I recognized the mess after trying to place my first order... It went fairly well, even though the frozen dinners were soggy... So, I've been spending a lot of time on studying the Walmart system, working with it, and submitting suggestions or problems I've found. You see, after I placed my first order, I placed another one...and it disappeared, along with an e-mail order that had been sent as part of their new pickup-delivery... So during that period, I lost hours of food selection as I had also lost a complete order. Yeah, like me and others, including Biden, I was frustrated...and, in my opinion, Biden is dealing with it well, given all the crap that is happening these days...

So, after several days, I notified a contact at Walmart and shared that the improvements to the computer system was 100%... I offered a few more suggestions about procedure...then I felt like I was part of the process when I received my full order this morning and filled my freezer and refrigerator...dinners, yogurt, cereal...all simple easy-to-fix things that I eat as a single person, now somewhat disabled...

Unfortunately, federal laws prevents delivery of my meds...so I have not been able to pick up what is waiting after my last doctor visit... I did check with Walmart about delivery by mail, but the rep was honest and pointed out the potential problems of using that method... In the meantime, I'm grateful that the meds were not those that were necessary to maintain, for instance, my blood pressure, etc.

What has happened is that I find I have had to become more self-dependent than I have ever been before...

Right now, I'm not able to drive and it seems everything I need to do requires visits to this place or that... I got new glasses, but am still not totally satisfactory, even though I had gone in to have them checked twice...more frustration, of course. I cancelled the two other tests they wanted me to have... Also had to tell my primary physician that I couldn't come back to talk more because I didn't have a driver...

Even now as I write, I am beginning to have pain as I am sitting. For those who haven't heard, I learned that my left hip is deteriorating. My new primary doctor mentioned it on my first visit when I talked about the auto accident I had in March last year. When she indicated what my hip looked like, I was shocked...I had never been told before--yes, you guessed it, I had become frustrated with my last doctor's office and had moved because I knew I needed a good doctor's support and wasn't getting it.

Fortunately, I had an excellent doctor for my surgery to remove a brain tumor. At that time, he also order physical therapy to ensure I could regain balance and walking skills. If I had only that issue--brain surgery--I probably would have been fine. But learning about my hip deterioration set off an entirely new issue, in most ways, more difficult to deal with than surgery of the brain.

Right now, I am unable to walk without a walker...Imagine not being able to even go to the bathroom without a walker to ensure that your ankle, your knee, your lower leg, or your hip will not give out as you take a step and cause a fall. I am fine otherwise, but right now and for the last few months, I have been trying to get approval for somebody to help me with driving, and other daily activities. Bureaucracy is alive and well...

And I have encountered many people who do not do the job to meet the needs of me, the customer... Contrary to how I was able to work with Walmart to get my needs attended to, I find I keep being referred from one place or another, or actually firing individuals who were doing more harm to me (mentally and emotionally) than helping...

You know, God gave me over 70 years of relatively good health and I am so grateful. I wonder, sometimes, if he placed me in these situations to reveal and, perhaps, commiserate with others who are struggling to survive within the world we live in today if only by reading about another's experiences...

My doctor asked me recently when I confessed being depressed, whether or not I had considered suicide... My resounding "No" was surely spoken through me from the Holy Spirit that dwells within me... Am I as strong as Job in facing all these issues? Afraid Not! But I don't need to be... God loves me as I am and cares for me, even if my day is so bad that I don't even say good morning to Him... He realizes my pain... And, if I should feel better...but can only get out a few words, it is normally these:


You know, I don't profess to understand what is happening in today's world, but I know He doesn't mind my seeking and asking questions... Sometimes His word comes into my mind to, maybe, even share with others. Sometimes He just makes me wait...and wonder...

But I know He Loves Me. And, even if I no longer sing in public as this elderly lady and her family does...I'll still be singing in my mind:

And if you are feeling old or alone...or like Mary Eddy, when I used to sing this song as a duet when we sang on a local radio station, with Rev. Joe Jordan, in Morgantown, W.V., when her son had died, we knew that, somewhere, somebody was listening who the song had been sent to, especially in response to their pain or fears... So, if the pain and suffering...and the shock of death has toughed you because of one issue or another...just say the words..."Lord, help me today, show me the way...one day at a time!"

God Bless
Glenda



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