Children today are tyrants.
They contradict their parents, gobble their food
and tyrannize their teachers.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me,
but I think she enjoyed it.
A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
Insanity is hereditary;
you can get it from your children.
Insomnia: A contagious disease
transmitted from babies to parents.
Parents of young children should realize that few
people, and maybe no one, will find their children
as enchanting as they do.
Children are given us
to discourage our better emotions.
--Hector Hugh Munro
Never have children, only grandchildren.
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of
God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
We've been trying to have a kid. Well, she was
trying, I just laid there.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into
action. They rented out my room
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