It all began because I’d stopped at the grocery store for some carrots. Who would have thought that could be dangerous? It was enough to make me want to stay home for the rest of my life.
I knew he was planning something I wasn’t going to be happy about. It made me mad, but worse was that other feeling I’d been trying to bury under layers of anger. Deep inside where I didn’t want to admit it, I was scared to death.
He started humming along to the radio, and turned up the volume. How someone like him liked country music was a puzzle to me. It just didn’t seem to fit him at all. In an effort to understand, I tuned into the beat and pretty soon I was nodding my head in time with the rhythm. It was an upbeat song, which surprised me. Maybe that was why he liked it. I would have thought a trained assassin would go for the dark, heavy-metal stuff.
Monday morning began rainy and wet, perfect for a funeral. I donned my wig and glasses, but decided not to wear my black clothes even though they were the right color. I was getting tired of black. Besides, I wanted to wear the new clothes I got at the mall. As I drove to the funeral, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t care much for funerals in the first place, but I was worried that with my abilities, I would pick up a lot of the family’s grief and sadness. I really didn’t want to cry, but some funerals were sad with all the goodbyes, even when the deceased wasn’t someone you knew. That, along with listening to all those minds, could be disturbing. I mean, wouldn’t most of them be thinking about Johnny? Of course, the murderer probably would be too, and that was what I wanted, right? If I actually heard the murderer, I sure hoped I could figure out who it was in the crowd. I arrived about ten minutes early. Not early enough for the viewing, but hopefully in time to get a good seat in the back. Usually those were the first to go, but if I was the murderer, that’s where I’d sit, and I was hoping the proximity would help me ‘hear’ him. Or her if it was a woman, I mean, who knew? The place was filling up, and there weren’t many seats left. So much for my plans. Uncle Joey and Ramos were sitting up front, but I didn’t want to go up there. I scanned the back again, hoping to find a small space I could squeeze into. Number Five was sitting on a row close to the back, and he caught my eye. He motioned me over, and I happily squeezed in beside him. “Thanks for letting me sit here,” I said, truly grateful. “No problem,” he answered. “I have to admit I am surprised to see you here. I didn’t think you knew Johnny that well.” “Oh, I’m not here for Johnny as much as for Uncle Joey. He was pretty upset about Johnny’s death.” Number Five smiled. “I didn’t know Mr. Manetto was your Uncle.” Oops. “Oh, yeah… on my mother’s side.” My mother would kill me if she ever found out I’d said this. “Ah… I thought you were involved because of other reasons.” He was thinking it was because of things I had no control of. “Oh, I am… I mean… well… you know how it is.” I was trying not to say too much, but if he was a cop, I didn’t want him to think I was really working for Uncle Joey of my own free will. I smiled and he just smiled back. Maybe now was a good time to do a little probing of my own. I whispered, “I think Uncle Joey has a good idea about who killed Johnny.” “Really? Did he tell you?” Number Five was suddenly tense. His whole body tightened up, and he focused all of his attention on me. “No,” I said quickly, hoping he’d calm down. Why was this upsetting him so much? “But he has informants everywhere, even in the police department.” I hoped he took that as a warning. “Oh.” He relaxed, and I let out my breath. I puzzled him. He was wondering why I’d bring up the cops, since he was the one who took care of them. Maybe I didn’t know as much as I thought. Or maybe I knew a lot more than he was giving me credit for. Whatever the case, it was time he did some real checking up on me. Oh great. Now I’d just made things worse. What was I thinking? The funeral services began, and the conversation around us stopped. Everyone stood as the funeral directors brought the casket down the aisle with the family following behind. I didn’t want to listen to any of them, their grief and anger was too fresh. Besides, I already knew none of them did it. After everyone sat down, I got down to business. I tried to pick out individual thoughts, and concentrated on the back row. I figured I’d move forward row by row, that way I wouldn’t miss anyone. At first, all I got were random thoughts, none of them telling me anything important. I scanned up through the crowd, listening for anything that sounded remotely incriminating. There were a lot of people who would miss Johnny. He was a good person even though he was a bad guy. Everybody seemed to agree about that, but I wasn’t sure it made sense. Many were angry that he’d been killed so violently, but that came with the territory. They just hoped Uncle Joey would take revenge. Soon, my mind began to overload. I could no longer pick out individual thoughts because there were so many. It was like being in a crowded room with everyone talking at the same time. I used all of my concentration to pick up those stray thoughts that told me they were glad he was dead, but it was almost like looking for a needle in a haystack. I tried blocking out thoughts and then listening again, but that didn’t make them any clearer. I tried everything I could think of, but all it got me was a pounding headache. The funeral was nearly over when I knew I had to get out of there, even if it was just for a few minutes. I excused myself to Number Five, realizing I didn’t even know his name, and nearly collapsed when I got outside the doors. I found a drinking fountain, and swallowed some aspirin, then wandered around until I found an empty room. I sank into a soft chair, and closed my eyes, grateful for the silence. After a few minutes my headache dulled to something bearable, and I could breathe again. I relaxed and decided I couldn’t go back in there. The stress was too much. I wasn’t sure what I’d tell Uncle Joey, but I’d figure that out later. After a while the voices of people leaving the service reached me, and I knew it was over. I reluctantly left my chair, and searched for Uncle Joey. He would probably want a report, and if I gave it to him here, then maybe I could go home. I wandered into the foyer and spotted Ramos standing beside Uncle Joey in a watchful stance. He looked like a bodyguard, and it hit me that Uncle Joey was a standing target for the killer. If someone took him out now, my troubles would be over. That didn’t make me feel as glad as I would have thought. I didn’t like Uncle Joey, and I hated being in his service, but I still didn’t like the thoughts of him being gunned down in cold blood. What was wrong with me? Was I showing signs of that hostage syndrome thing? I hoped not. It was probably just that I didn’t like to see people get killed. Now if he were holding a gun to my head, it would be different. The crowd had thinned considerably when Uncle Joey spotted me. His smile was friendly, and he motioned me over with an outstretched arm. “I’m glad to see you made it. You look a little pale, are you all right?” “I’m okay now. It was a little stressful in there.” “I didn’t see you come in.” “I sat in the back by Number Five, but I got a headache, and had to leave for the last few minutes of the service.” “Number Five?” “Yeah, the guy you saw me talking to in the parking garage, on your surveillance camera. I don’t know his name, so that’s what I call him.” “Oh, yes I remember now. Why don’t we head over to my office? We can order some food, and discuss what you found.” “Well, I really didn’t find anything—” “That’s okay. I have some other things I need to talk to you about.” He held the doors open for me, and I took a breath of fresh air. The rain had stopped, and the sun was shining. A big rainbow hung over the cemetery like a benediction, and took my breath away. “That’s something isn’t it?” I said. “Yes. Somehow, it makes me feel okay about Johnny. I hope he’s in a better place.” I was surprised to hear that coming from a hardened crime boss like Uncle Joey. “I’m not all bad, Shelby.” He didn’t like the look of surprise on my face. “Oh…no, of course not.” “You can come with us, my car’s over there.” “No, wait. I brought my car. I might as well meet you at the office.” He looked around until he spotted it. “I know you went car shopping over the weekend, did you have any luck?” Did he know everything? “No, not yet.” “I know someone who can get you a good deal. You can have anything on the lot for less than half of what they’re asking. I’ll call him, and tell him you’re coming. I just got a new car myself. It’s right over there.” He pointed it out, and we started walking toward it. “Oh, you mean that black one? Now why doesn’t that surprise me? You know, you really should try a different color some time.” “But I like black. He’s got another one on the lot just like it that you could get. It’s a great car with all the bells and whistles. It even has a remote start. Ramos, show her how it can start from here.” Did he really think I’d want a car just like his? I had to admit, however, that it looked pretty sleek, lots more fun to drive than a van. Ramos pulled the keys out of his pocket and pushed a button. The engine sputtered for a second, and then sprang to life with a huge unnatural roar. Why did it sound so strange? Suddenly, the car exploded in a fiery blast of shattering glass and metal. The blast threw me to the ground, and I cringed as showering sparks and metal fell around me. Ramos and Uncle Joey were beside me, and before I knew it, Ramos pulled me under him, shielding me with his body. We stayed like that until the last of the flying debris came to rest. For a fleeting second Ramos’s eyes met mine, then traveled to my lips. I could feel a rush of pure desire pulse through him before he quickly jerked to his feet. He turned to Uncle Joey, checking to see if he was injured. “I’m all right,” Uncle Joey muttered. Ramos helped him to his feet. “Check Shelby.” Ramos dutifully took my hands and pulled me up. I was shaking so bad it was hard to stand without his help. “Are you okay?” he asked. My mouth didn’t seem to be working so I just nodded. What was going on? What had happened? We all stood there in shock, watching flames shoot out from the car. The black smoke billowed up, and the air was thick with the smell of burning rubber and gasoline. Soon people were gathering around us, and I heard a siren in the distance. Someone asked if that was our car, and Uncle Joey nodded. His hair was sticking up on one side, and there was a smudge of dirt on his face. A trickle of blood ran down the side of Ramos’s face, making him look more dangerous than ever. His hair was sticking up too, and I panicked, hoping my wig hadn’t blown off my head. I frantically reached up and let out my breath to find it was still there. It seemed a little crooked so I straightened it the best I could, and caught a fleeting smile from Ramos. He nodded, then quickly turned away, puzzled and uncomfortable with the protective feelings I aroused in him. I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. It was good he felt that way, wasn’t it? At least it would make it harder to kill me, and that was a plus. I inspected my new skirt and cardigan and gasped. Not only were they spotted with something black, but covered with charred holes where the material was burned away. That’s when it hit me that I’d almost been killed. Again...
~~~
In many ways, this book reminded me of my one and only long-time favorite movie not to be replaced, yet... that I saw over a decade ago! The main character is a homemaker who gets involved--with other things! And throws her family into confusion and fun for readers! Colleen Helme has taken this basic concept of a Mom and, during the midst of accomplishing her daily meal preparation--today will be chicken soup--for which she needs carrots--because nobody's heard of soup without carrots, right--so decides to stop at a local store...
Which happens to include a branch bank...
Which happens to be robbed during her visit...
Which happens to include the robber shooting two people...
As she stands there watching him do the shooting!
Confusion immediately reigns, but the shooter had the chance to also see the woman watching and he took a shot at her! She is hit, the bullet enters her skull...
Shelby Nichols, in this first book of her adventures, is a delightful mix of innocence and a recognition of how her life has become somewhat boring... That is, after she gets shot... And after she discovers that she can hear what other people are thinking...
And, of course, one of the things that changes is that she has become involved with Dimples (a cop who is in charge of th bank robbery/shooting and she knows and remembers only as the delightful dimples that he happens to reveal on his handsome face. So, while the police encourage her to be alert and contact them if she sees anybody following her, she goes back to her regular life, which becomes confusing as she hears what her husband and two children plan to say, and answers--before they actually speak...
Shelby begins to see what her new skill is, but is afraid of what that may mean to her life (as she should be!).
Because the very first time she is out walking, she is confronted with the guy who shot her... That is, until he is shot and killed, saving her life (2nd near-death experience)... The shooter quickly comes to see if she is alright, and explains what she should do: Call the cops as soon as he leaves, explain that he was about to shoot her and somebody nearby shot him instead... Most importantly she did not see who murdered the murderer...
Enter the "genteel" mob boss that owns a legitimate business, but was interested in knowing who had robbed the local store/bank. His "fixer" figured that guy was going to ensure there was nobody still living who had seen him--and had already entered the hospital and killed the other witness--so had decided the easier way to find the thief was to follow his other witness... Thankfully he was correct and Shelby was saved by the mob's paid assassin...
If you haven't guessed by now, while this is a great mystery, with some suspense on multiple levels of the plots, it really is a fun and humorous story as well... So, sit back and enjoy! Because what happens next is not a return to her normal life...
Ramos, the fixer/assassin is one of my favorite characters in additiion to Shelby... Because, having saved Shelby, he seems to have noticed just how charming a woman she is and easy and fun to talk to. Shelby never flirts because she does love her husband, which will be demonstrated several times in a little side hustle happening at her husband's law offie, she does both resent his need to be there all the time, but, also that she feels, interestingly, safe with him...
Until she is being called in to give her report to the mob boss, as to how and why Ramos had killed a man in her presence... Ramos was asked to leave during that interview and we learn just how the man has become so successful in his business. Because when he starts questioning what had happened at th bank as well as later, his probing led to a slight revelation from Shelby, which he quickly pursued... Shelby in the past had never needed to lie. Now she was having a hard time with all of the events... When she was then threatened that something might happen to her family, Shelby explained that based upon her head injury, she had become able to read people's minds...
And that, if you even have to be told, resulted in her becoming the unwilling personal assistant to the mob boss. Her job was to sit, listen and report back what the other individual had actually been thinking during any meeting! Having to explain all this to her husband was taking her skills of lying to a whole new level...
Especially, when she learned that her husband had a new lawyer in his office, who Shelby quifkly saw that he was after her husband for personal attention... but, even worse, later learned that she had a personal relationship to the mob boss! In other words, Shelby was caught in the middle between her husband's colleague and her forced relationship with a new boss that was demanding of her time with her new job in his company!
What a mess! But when one of the second in command to the boss was murdered, along with his son, talk of a possible takeover attempt came to the front. Especially, when at the funeral of his friends, there was an attempt to blow up the boss' car when they left the funeral home... And since Shelby would have been in that car, she was quite ready to seek out and share as much information as she could find to help discover who had committed the latest murders and attempted murders! But, I have to say, that the climax was more funny with chaotic confusion rather than an exciting adventurous conclusion... Loved it!
Highly recommended!
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