The Elevator by Victoria Shockley May Shock Some Business Men... When Their Sons Starts Reading To Them...

Elevators. I love how they look, with their spotless, mirrored walls; sleek wooden hand rails and rows of brightly lit buttons. In the peaceful silence, when there aren't any passengers, I like to tidy them up, collecting the random trinkets left behind by the hotel patrons--earrings, hair ties, scraps of paper that offer up an insight into the owner's life. Usually, the insight doesn't extend much deeper than a grocery list. You wouldn't believe how many people buy those disgusting artichoke hearts...or at least set out to buy them--maybe it's a good thing they dropped their lists. I especially love seeing all the different types of people that this this elevator. Frazzled women in high-priced denim clutch the sticky hands of bawling toddlers. Young couples giggle, unable to keep their composure and dignity for even the short ride to the next floor. Somber old men with canes and spectacles stare into their reflection in the mirrored walls, wondering to where their youth has escaped.

 The Elevator

By Victoria Shockley

Yet , by far, the most peculiar group of passengers to ever board my elevator

were three businessmen, whom I later came to know as Ryan, William and Barry.

Before I begin my story of these three men, let me introduce myself. My name is Gorobash, better known as Gorb, and I am a gnome... with tatty clothing and a quite prickly attitude--if I do say so myself. I live and work in a fairly upscale London hotel--and maintain elevator 33. It's easy work, and as I said before, I love elevators, so I enjoy my job very much.

OK, so I can go along with this but I admit that I did try other elevators before I decided to enter beautiful elevator 33. Operated by a gnome. You bet I knew what a gnome was--my mother loved to place gnomes and chickens and other things in her yard...Our gnome was laying down on his side but Gorb was right there waiting for me to get in. But did you notice that it looks like he's equipped with a parachute... But this was a very classy hotel and I had a nice room, I hoped, waiting... There was a biker man and woman in the one I rode and some man stood in the corner looking into the mirror, pretending to talk on a phone, but I could tell he was just looking at himself. Anyway, I made it and quickly left, thinking I was very glad I was only on the third floor--I could take the stairs from now on...

The convention was about halfway through when
a sharp-looking chap with clean trimmed black
hair and a navy blue suit boarded my elevator.
He looked nervous, with shifty eyes and slightly
sweaty palms--being much shorter than normal
folk, we gnomes notice these things. He offered
not so much as a "good day"...
If I'm being entirely truthful, I have to admit
that I'm ashamed of what happened next. Before
I could inquire as to what floor the man wanted
to go, he opened his briefcase, out of which spilled
a tangle of glinting, gleaming, shiny jewelry. I
don't believe I've mentioned this yet, but I
adore shiny objects. I go made for them. I can't
help it; I think the desire to collect pretty items
is just pre-programming into gnomes' brains...
~~~

Don't you wonder sometimes who Fairy Tales are written for? Me, I watch Grimm every week, and have watched other movies based upon these stories... So I felt quite comfortable sitting back to get into the story, which undoubtedly would have a great moral...

I didn't realize it then, but during the short time
of distraction, the sneaky chap had messed
with my elevator...
~~~

How about you? Have you wondered whether authors really are directing the moral of the story to the parents, the adults who will read the book to their children
or maybe for their siblings, hoping they will be forced to read...and learn...

Because this Fairy Tale is definitely going to teach you...about the importance of Teamwork. Actually it is not too early to learn about that, is there, since children will begin to interact with others as soon as they enter school or when they join a sports team. Right?

Well, a group of businessmen entered and it seemed every floor had stops until 3 were left who were heading for the 7th floor, to a special meeting they had been told about...

There was enough time for Gorb to get them to introduce themselves. And about that time, the
elevator stopped.

So what does Gorb do? You'd think he would go about repairing his elevator...but, no... he started to tell these men a...wait for it... a Fairy Tale!

Well, as you can guess, that didn't go over well and the men started complaining. Gorb just talked them down! The funny part of this for me was that Gorb was using his personal evaluation of each of the men, to create the story, but we don't know whether each saw himself or merely started listening and learning! But it did work...

http://www.englishblog.com/2013/03/
Once upon a time, in a kingdom called Eggslandia, there lived King Hamalot, Queen Omelettia, and their three trip sons
Benedict, Sunni and Scramblio. Now, in Eggslandia, one could become kind at the age of 21, and the previous ruler
would be required to relinquish the throne. If he refused, he would be forcibly removed from power...
~~~

You know from some of my articles that I question the suitability of books as are marketed. While I wholeheartedly recommend this book, I have to admit that I doubt children, except maybe older or teens would be interested. In my opinion, after working over 40 years with many different people, I would market this book under Humor...If I were still working, I can think of many of the people I met in the work environment that needed a little nudge toward teamwork! This is perfect. Hand it to that individual that you can't get along with, and say, "hey, I just read this and thought it had some good points--maybe we can talk about it sometime..."

Or, if you're really brave, pass it out at the next staff meeting... Not kidding here!

This is very well written, is fresh and new and easy to digest and yet get the point across. Victoria, hope you don't mind my alternative genre, but having been a manager/director for many years, a light-hearted yet positive statement is a wonderful tool...for adults...

In my opinion, better consider your audience...when you share your pedagogical thoughts in the future! You've done a great job!

GABixlerReviews

Currently I’m a senior at North Carolina State University, with a major in English and a minor in French. I’m taking extra courses in order to graduate a year early (May of 2014) and continue on to graduate school. Ultimately I’m planning to pursue a career in professional writing or editing. My GPA falls in the top 7 percent of my class, and I am ranked #7 in GPA of the 100 undergraduate English majors in the university. I was also chosen as the College of Humanities & Social Sciences Student of the Month for January, 2013, and in the same month I was accepted into the English Honors Program, reserved for only the most highly motivated students.

Jutta Profijt Creates Fun New Character in Dust Angel!

Eclectic Kitchen design by Other Metro Design-build Farinelli Construction Inc

"The shock took my breath away.
"There was a man in the cooler.
"He was stretched out on the floor.
"He wasn't moving.
"The guy lying motionless in front of me was a bum. Like the guy
handing around Lauenstein's front gate the day before. Could it be
the same guy? Had he sneaked onto the property in search of a place
to sleep and settled on the cooler? My mind was spinning like a
merry-go-round. I tried to stop it and focus. Had his coat looked like
this one? Was he the same height? Well, this was a man in any case;
at least I was sure about that.
"My attempt to distract myself by wondering about his identity failed.
The issue was not whether this was the same man as the day before;
the issue was why he was lying motionless in my customer's walk-in-
cooler...this man was dead..."

~~~

Dust Angel

By Jutta Profijt
  Translated by
  Erik J. Macki


Yes, I enjoyed Morgue Drawer Four and even more Morgue Drawer Next Door (Click over for my reviews), but Corinna Leyendecker, the main character in Profijt's latest novel, Dust Angel, touched my heart...maybe because she got fired, like I did after effectively working with a company for years...sure, I can empathize greatly with her! She also discovered that she really didn't mind leaving that job--yes, that definitely got my attention... But the business she went into? Whoa... I think I'll stick with book reviewing...  I know I'm mixing reality and fiction, but who cares? That's why we can escape into fiction! Right?!

Do you get the idea that Jutta Profijt is a lot of fun to read? She is! She doesn't "write" humor, her characters live it. That makes a great difference for me since I'm not into making jokes about people and situations like many comedians do these days. Corinna just gets into situations from where you enjoy seeing her "extract" herself...like with the dead body...

And no, she's not a new "dead ghost" to contend with, LOL as it was in her earlier books... In fact, I'm hoping this is the first in a series for her...

After all, a woman who runs a "Dust Angel" business is going to have lots of opportunity to get into trouble, even while she manages her ever-growing business! Essentially, she decided to aim her business toward wealthy men, mostly, who needed and could afford a company to manage his home activities on his behalf.

"...and guts when I informed Greg I was taking the
furniture in my study/bedroom/asylum with me.
All of it. First he turned pale and then red--but there
was no way he could ignore the fact that we'd paid
for the firniture in the apartment jointly...
"You could take the bed with you; Soledad doesn't
like it anyway." he offered instead.
"I need office furniture,"I told him. "You never
used your study for work anyway. With me the
furniture will finally be put to good use."
"He had no argument to obstruct my plan, so I
got the office furniture...
"Now I am sitting in my stylish office, typing up
this account while a dead body lies in the trunk of
my car, which I can dimly make out through the
window from where I sit...Oops. I've given away
too much, and I still need to tell the rest of the
story...That way, later on, no one can say I founded
my business expressly to perpetrate criminal
intrigues in the homes of my well-to-do
clients..."
~~~

Now Corinna had help with naming her company and other marketing activities from one of her previous co-workers, which initially seemed strange since she was one of the "creative" staff who could not be touched when jobs had to be eliminated.

Well, Troll had another reason, but you can find out all about that because Troll and Corinna become best friends...

Not like the other co-worker with whom she had been living, with benefits, it seemed from his standpoint... Of course, Corinna had assumed they were having a relationship before he brought another woman into their apartment...and bed...

Now here's where I started my admiration for Corinna! She didn't move out quickly as he suggested. Instead she moved into "his" den, "his" sanctuary! And she didn't continue to do any of the cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.

And when she left, she took all the furniture out of the den (which they had purchased together with other furniture for the apartment)...and thus had a beautiful new office for her business! I loved how she handled his rejection--as if it didn't matter to her any more than it did to him! I loved it!

Corinna had always been close to her grandmother who would give her sound advice as well. In this case, she introduced her to her first employee--an experienced woman, even with a degree! And they got along, even though Lisbeth continued to call her new boss, "child..."

So Corinna managed the contacts, while Lisbeth handled the actual cleaning activities, which worked out fine and to their mutual satisfaction. Until the day Lisbeth was sick with the flu and Corinna had to take her place at one of the largest homes with the strangest client. It was while she was working that Corinna discovered the body of a man lying on the floor of the large walk-in freezer...

Yes, she is too afraid of losing her business to just leave it there, apparently because she had forgotten to lock the outside door to the freezer! So she put the body into the trunk of her car...where, because she had so many other previously scheduled commitments which she couldn't afford to reschedule, the body stayed for...days...

Then the real fun started!

Readers will enjoy how she came up with her idea for her business during one of the many interviews she had to continue in the advertising business. I also enjoyed Troll taking Corinna to a speed-dating event (and why!) Me, I also enjoyed what happened to Soledad later...and Gregg! Ok, if you're not into a little revenge, well...just ignore that part. However, there wasn't anything I would have changed in this delightful new group of characters, given to either to love or hate... With this one, Jutta has moved into a favorite author for me, so I highly recommend her for your consideration if you enjoy the humor of everyday life...and a dead body or two...


GABixlerReviews

Jutta Profjt was born in 1967 in Ratingen, Germany. After finishing school, she lived abroad working as an au pair, an importer-exporter, a coach to executives and students, and a business-English instructor. She published her first novel in 2003 and today works as a freelance writer and translator. Her first novel feature coroner Martin Gansewein, Morgue Drawer Four, was shortlisted for German's 2010 Friedrich Glauser Prize for best crime novel.

Kudos from me also to Erik J. Macki, Translator... He has done all of Jutta's books and I've found them excellent!

Erik J. Macki worked as a cherry-orchard tour guide, copy editor, Web developer, and German and French teacher before settling into his translation career--probably an inevitable choice, as he has collected foreign-language grammars, dictionaries, and language-learning books since childhood and to this day is not above diagramming sentences when duty calls. A former resident of Cologne and Munster, Germany, and of Tours, France, he did his graduate work in Germanic and comparative syntax. He now translates books for adults and children as well as nonfiction material from his home in Seattle, where he lives with his family and their black Lab, Zephyr.

If You're Not Into SitCom Humor...Don't Bother...

Trail of the Spellmans


By Lisa Lutz


I promise, I didn't know that this book was primarily the humor genre--I don't seem to have a sense of humor like many have, so I don't usually read the genre. I thought the book was about PI's and there was a few cases that were interesting, although all of them involved following people, except one client who had OCD and used the private investigator as a backup to make sure someone was dealing with his compulsions so he wouldn't lose his job. None of the situations take much to figure out--I had all of them resolved after the first introduction of each case...

The book was well written although the majority was about the Spellman family itself and the ongoing drama that apparently revolves around the members. The story is told from the point of view of the daughter, Isabel, who clearly has a handle on how the investigative business should be run, but also clearly, contrary to the back cover's statement, is just as dysfunctional as the rest of those who live there. I must admit that the writer's use of footnoting was, for me, completely frustrating from the reader's standpoint since the footnotes were merely attempts to increase the humor, which it didn't, in my opinion. For me, it just increased reading time and was disruptive.

Let me tell you a little more about the cases covered:

Two parents hired them to follow their daughter who had entered college, to keep track of her activities.
A wife hired them to follow her husband and keep her informed where he was and when he was to return home.
A brother hired them to follow his sister and report back to him.

But the investigator assigned the first case, made up false reports to turn in...get the idea of strange actions. Of course the investigator is the youngest daughter in the family and to punish her for what she did, had her car taken away from her, without anybody explaining why...Funny? You decide...

Isabel did have a basic and healthy attitude about how the job should be done, although the ending action was, in my opinion, quite unethical and, quite naturally backfired on her.

Sorry, I didn't even smile once. Some of the scenes were sad, such as with the client who had OCD and while Isabel did explain everything to him, they did do as much as could be expected as private investigators. I guess I have to admit that most of it was boring for me, since I don't find making fun of dysfunctional family members something that should be done. On the other hand, knowing that many people do enjoy sitcom type of humor, the book itself was fast-paced, except for the footnotes, and certainly should be considered by those who routinely enjoy the humor genre...

You decide...

Book Received Via
Amazon Vine


GABixlerReviews