Lukas took the stairs to the second floor, anger and frustration hitting him like salt in a fresh wound. He'd been so sure that the Cunningham Memorial incident had been a fluke. Now it appeared that the medical world was filled with narcissists with control issues.
All was quiet and Lukas knew he should be trying to sleep, but he couldn't get certain people off his mind. He went upstairs to ICU and nodded at the nurse who sat at the central desk. Mercy sat with her head bowed by the side of her daughter's bed. She still wore her stained T-shirt and cut-off denim shorts. Lukas stepped over to the nurse. "Do you have a cot we can set up beside the bed for Dr. Richmond?" "Yes but we’ve been so busy here I haven't been able to leave, and we're short an aide tonight." "Tell me where to find the cot." She gave him directions and he returned in a few moments with a narrow fold-out sleeping chair and a set of scrubs. He carried them to the end of Tedi's bed. "Mercy?" he called softly. She raised her head and looked up at him. Her eyes focused on what he held. "You need sleep," he said. "And since Tedi's out of danger, you can relax. These scrubs will be more comfortable than those clothes." He placed the scrubs on the arm of the chair in which she sat, then tossed down a comb that he had purchased from a vending machine in the cafeteria. "Go change while I set up this cot." She didn't move. She stared at him. For a moment tears filled her dark eyes, but they did not fall this time. Without saying a word, she picked up the stack of items and walked out. Lukas folded out the sleeping chair closely enough to Tedi's bed that Mercy could reach out and touch her. He spread a sheet and a blanket over it, then grabbed a pillow from a nearby empty bed. When Mercy came back in, she wore the blue scrubs and had combed the tangles out of her hair. She still looked pale and tired. And quite beautiful. "Thanks Lukas. I feel a lot better." "You don't look any better. You need sleep." "No wonder you don't date much." She sat down on the cot and watched Tedi's breathing in silence. Lukas leaned against the next bed and observed the silence with her. "I blew it so badly tonight," she said at last. "I upset Tedi and I showed my weakness to Theo." “Like a mama tiger. You should have seen Claudia. If I hadn't made her stay with Tedi, she'd have come in there and ripped into Mr. Zimmerman herself." He chuckled at the memory. Mercy shot him a glance and a wan smile, then patted the other end of the cot. He sat. "What did you overhear?" she asked. "Everything. You know there's no soundproofing in that ER, and you didn't even shut the door. Tedi was the only one in, so...." He shrugged. “If we didn't already know what a nasty character your ex-husband is, we do now. I don't think it came as a great shock to anyone." "Sometimes I hate living in a small town." "Why? Because everybody knows everybody else's business? At least someone cares." She shook her head. "They don't care here more than they do in a big city. They simply have less to keep them occupied, so they occupy themselves in the lives of others." She paused, glanced toward the nurse, and lowered her voice. "I’ve had my name linked to a respectable married physician in the hospital because I took off at the same time he did for a conference last year." "Did it cause much trouble?" "I didn't give it a chance. I threatened to recommend dismissal for a tech who couldn't keep her mouth shut or her mind out of the gutter, and then I warned the wife about it." She grimaced. "It was insulting and distasteful." "I know the feeling." Mercy glanced at him. "You too?" "I was amazed at the rumors that circulated about women I supposedly dated or had secret affairs with, especially when it involved women I'd never met." He glanced at her. "Some people in KC still think I'm a baby daddy—a term I abhor—even though blood tests proved the child was not mine.” “Did the mother claim you were the father?” Mercy asked. Lukas nodded. “She was a nurse I worked with when I started my residency, and for some crazy reason she decided I was going to be the one true love of her life. Unfortunately she was the daughter of the director of internal medicine. When I didn't see things her way, she complained to her dad and to my trainer about me. She said she thought I was manic depressive and accused me of sexual harassment." "You don't seem bipolar to me." "I’m not. Maybe a little obsessive-compulsive.” “So that’s why you’re so thorough with my patients in ER.” Mercy settled more comfortably. “Tell me more about this nurse.” “She insisted that I was endangering the patients in my manic state. She charted orders I never gave and had other docs questioning my judgment. They held a meeting and decided I was to be reviewed by a psychiatrist, then they made sure I couldn’t make the appointment—lied about the time. I was fired soon after. When this nurse then turned up pregnant, she spread the word that I was the father and that I had seduced her." Mercy shook her head in amazement. "Surely nobody believed—I mean, you're not...you know...the seducing kind." He grinned. “Thank you. I think.” “Please tell me more. Your drama is distracting me from mine right now.” "The hospital tried to use the paternity suit against me later when I took them to court. And as far as I know, there has only been one Immaculate Conception in history." Mercy raised her eyebrows. Lukas felt his face grow warm. "I'm a normal healthy male who happens to believe in purity before marriage and monogamy after." "You're a Christian." She made it sound almost like an accusation. "I am.” "My mother's a Christian," she said. "She has been since my father died. She's always preaching to me about things she's read in the Bible, great `spiritual truths' she's suddenly discovered. She doesn't push me too much, but I can tell I frustrate her at times because of my beliefs." "What do you believe?" She shot him a warning glance. "Don't you start, too." "I'm not. I'm asking what you believe." "I'm not sure you would call it belief. Maybe you'd call it lack of belief." She glanced over at her sleeping daughter and shook her head. "I know this is trite but I still have trouble believing in a so-called loving God who would allow so much injustice in my life and my daughter's." "I felt that way after I watched my mother die of cancer,” Lukas said. “She was a great lady who helped half the people in town over the years. It's hard to watch your loved ones hurting." "Did you ever come to terms with it?" Mercy asked. He shrugged. "I'm sure you don't want to hear my `great spiritual truths' any more than you want to hear your mother's." "I'll humor you this once." "It was a gradual thing. It took place over the months of grieving after Mom's death. Even as I continued to lay blame at God's door, I became aware of His patience with me—not only in the Bible, but in the fellow believers in my church who continued to love and support me emotionally, even though I wasn't always nice or faithful in attendance. One elderly lady in my parents' church came to talk to me one day. I asked her why a loving God would allow so much suffering." Mercy focused on him more intently. “What did she say?" "She asked if I would have preferred a dictatorship." Mercy flitted her fingers through the air. “I've heard all about that from Mom. Adam and Eve were given a free will and chose to sin. And now we're paying for their sin." "No, we're paying for our own. Everyone but Christ has chosen sin from the beginning of time." "What do you call sin?" "Do you want my own personal interpretation?" "The Ten Commandments are based on two rules, which are to love God and to love your neighbor. If you do these two things, you'll never break any other of God's laws." "So since we've broken these laws," Mercy said dryly, "God's going to make us pay. He punishes us. We either love Him or else." He understood the bitterness in her voice. "I have to remind myself often that suffering was not in God's original plan," he told her. "It doesn't seem fair, but my father once reminded me that we should look for God in the one who's hurting, not in the cause of pain itself.” Mercy held his gaze. “You believe that?" “Absolutely. Do you think I'm crazy?" She thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No. I think you’re strong and wise.” Okay, wow. That sounded so good coming from her. “Not just smart, but wise,” she said. “You make belief almost reachable.” “It is.” “But what about my grandmother? Mom believed she wasn't a Christian. If you don't believe she went to heaven, do you think she's in hell?" Lukas leaned forward. "Mercy, before your grandmother died, she gained consciousness enough to speak. She told me to let her go, that she was ready. Only God can know for sure, but I had a very strong impression she was at peace, like my mother was when she died." Mercy's eyes filled again with tears. "But you can't know for sure." "Only God can know for sure. I'm still learning to trust Him during the times I have doubts, and I still fail, but He has proven that He has our ultimate good as a goal. Otherwise, there would have been no Christ, no death, no Resurrection." Mercy turned her attention back to her daughter, who slept within reach. "Thanks for telling me about your experience in Kansas City. I hate what they did to you. I hate medical politics." “I do too.” She sat in silence a little longer. "Do you know why Theodore has custody of Tedi?" "You were hospitalized for depression and he used it against you in court." She straightened a bit. “See what I mean about small towns?" "Where were you hospitalized?" "Lakeland in Springfield. My father had just died of alcoholic cirrhosis and Theodore and I were going through a nasty divorce at the time." Mercy leaned forward to check Tedi, then sat back. "I wasn't hospitalized for simple depression, I was forcibly committed for attempted suicide—which was a setup." He held her gaze. He'd heard most of this—after all, as she'd said, the gossip mill was alive and well in Knolls. He'd like to hear the truth from her. "I was depressed," she said. "Who wouldn't be in a situation like that?" "I suppose you overheard Theo's announcement about one of the whippings I received from my father. I had never come to terms with that, and it had happened a few times when Mom wasn't around. But I didn't attempt suicide. What I did do was take a couple of extra Valium to kill the pain. Unfortunately, in my drugged state I decided I needed help for depression and went to see the wrong doctor at the wrong time. He was a friend of Theo's." She spread her hands, as if the rest was obvious. "It was a divorce-court tactic. That doctor is out of practice now—he lost his license two years later for unprofessional conduct with a female patient.” “Good,” Lukas said. “Unfortunately, there are a lot of corrupt people like that in the world, and they haven't all had their hands slapped yet for their corruption.” Mercy looked down at the comb in her hand, then up at Lukas. "Thanks for getting all this stuff together for me.” "It was my pleasure." Mercy smiled. "Sorry if I sound as if I'm wallowing in self-pity. I wanted you to know the truth." "I already know the truth. You're the kind of physician who was willing to answer a disaster drill when no one else cared, and you were willing to spend your own money—which you probably couldn't afford—to help people in need. You’re a mama tiger whose cub loves her very much." She leaned back, as if to get a better look at him in the dim light. "Do you speak at motivational seminars?" "I say it as I see it." "I've been called a man-hater." He touched the stubby growth of hair on his face. "I've always considered myself a man. You've never been hateful with me." "You're...different." "Would you have gone to so much trouble to treat Clarence Knight if you truly hated men?" She seemed to think about it a moment. "I like Darlene. I admire them both." "Anyone would be distrustful of men if your ex were a typical example. I hope he isn't." “What about Jarvis George?” she asked. “What about the Littles? There are plenty of jerks to go around.” Lukas had to admit those were solid examples of jerkhood. He spread his hands. “I apologize for the male species.” She chuckled and her face lit up, and he enjoyed it. "Would you think I was horrible if I told you I enjoyed socking him in the mouth tonight?" she asked. "I wanted to do the same." She grimaced. "I'll pay for that moment of glory, though." "Do you think he'll file charges?" "And cut off his gravy train? No way. Why else do you think he's keeping Tedi?" "Maybe that's why he treats you so badly." “What do you mean?” she asked. “Male pride. It was obvious that the remark you made about your insurance covering Tedi's expenses made him angry. If he feels dependent on you he'll take it out on you and maybe even Tedi." Tedi stirred as if in response to the sound of her name. Mercy stood and leaned over her daughter. "Okay, Honey?" "Yeah," Tedi said hoarsely. She raised her head and looked around the room, her dark eyes apprehensive. "Dad here?" "No." Tedi relaxed and lay back. Mercy brushed a tendril of long dark hair back from her daughter's face. Lukas marveled at how much alike the two looked. Tedi's eyes even held the same wary sadness in them as Mercy's. "Do you want to talk about why you were in that barn?" Mercy asked. Tedi lay there for a moment without replying, almost as if she hadn't heard the question. Then she said, "I can't." Mercy touched her daughter's face. "You mean you're afraid to?" Tedi didn't reply. Mercy's face tightened. "Are you afraid of your father?" Tedi's eyes filled with tears. "You can't say anything to him. Please. I don't want you to go back to the hospital and I don't want to have to stop seeing you." "Is that why you didn't want me to try to get custody?" Tedi slowly nodded. Mercy touched Tedi's shoulder. "The bruises, honey. Did your dad do that?" Tedi's face contorted with more tears. "Please don't ask me, Mom." Lukas saw Mercy's fist clench, but her voice remained gentle. "I can’t let this keep happening.”
~~~
When religion enters a family environment, it can result in one of two things. It will bring the family closer, or separate it even further. We saw the greatest division in the United States, when, in 2015, the evangelical christian group leaders chose to get involved in politics and chose to support the republican party candidate. We have all seen what happened then, and what is happening now... Religion can be divisive...
Having God within you normally doesn't lead to anything but love, at least in your personal life. Take for instance, a new ER doctor who has just been hired at a community hospital--hired as a decision of the president and the board. Not participating in that decision was the present head of the ER... who brings in the pride and division...
And then we have another doctor, Dr. Mercy, who is a wonderful talented doctor, who is already a member of the staff, as her grandmother was rushed to the hospital and was seen by the new ER Doctor Lucas Bower. The elderly woman had entered with a signed DNR decision, so the doctor prepared to work with her as she was possibly meeting her death.
That is, until her daughter got to the hospital that day. She was recently converted to Christianity and had been learning all of these amazing possibilities from her new book, The Bible. When she learned that the DNR was already being implemented, she stopped it immediately in rage, wanting the time for her mother to actually say...she...believed... Ultimately even Mercy who was called over to the ER, got involved and supported that her grandmother's wishes was to not attempt resuscitation. The mother was adamant and made her decision be the priority--after all, she had donated much to the hospital and was influential with top administrators...
What readers know was that Dr. Bower had discussed her condition with the grandmother and had known that her wishes was indeed to be allowed to die. And did... Her daughter was furious! She was in retribution mode for that doctor from that point on--readers watch as that drama all plays out...
In the meantime, Dr. Bower was becoming popular with both the staff and the patients even if several who had interacted with the main doctor there demanded that they continue only with the head of the department. What readers will read about is a hospital that has become dysfunctional, while a new president is attempting to regain stability and return it to the level of constant care demanded for the community...
The latest condemnation of Tylenol and all the other devastation events happening in today's medical world under the present Secretary of Health began to flood my mind, together with the chaos initiated by those who act on the basis of their need for power as opposed for the good of the patients... That description fit the head of the ER and we watch as he began his efforts to ensure that Dr. Bower would not be at the hospital for long... With life and death being a primary event in the ER environment, tension grew as power struggles move forward. Yet the constant flow of patients in and out creates a page-turning situation often...
In a different family drama for Dr. Mercy, we find that she has a daughter that she loves dearly, but who has been awarded custody to the father. The continuous, heartbreaking events with which the 10-year-old Tedi is forced to deal, based upon a decision that was based upon lies, will literally bring readers into emotional empathy for this child who was being forced into an environment that she just couldn't handle...
This is not the type of book which is easy to talk about... Past hurts and pain in multiple characters are exposed in both positive and negative ways, but always are tearjerkers... I became involved enough that it became a Personal Favorite for 2025. Let's face it when family dysfunctions occur, it is often caused by those within--or without--who manipulate situations to cause emotional divides. I hope the selected excerpt gives sufficient awareness to generate the emotional trauma within and surrounding this book. Highly recommended.
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