“Stuff it. He’s got enough to do as it is.
Besides, don’t you know you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”
“Hogwash. We’re old.
We learn new tricks all the time.”
“Such a mensch, my son-in-law!” Flossie reached up and patted his cheek. “It was so sweet of you to do this for us. I read the cards this morning and they even indicated magic and mystery—reminded me of that old Beatles song Magical Mystery Tour.
Flossie plopped into her chair just as the orchestra began to play a John Phillip Sousa march and the lights dimmed. A stream of waiters carrying trays of Baked Alaska adorned with flashing sparklers marched around the dining room in step with the music. Their waist-length red jackets, worn over crisp white trousers, featured epaulets trimmed with gold braid. Their snazzy uniforms added to the spirit of a wonderful parade. Most of the other diners were excited, but Flossie was bummed.
“I didn’t learn a darn thing. She couldn’t get rid of me fast enough.” “Well, Old Girl, I guess this show’s a wrap. Ali Kazaam won’t be zapping any more assistants with his electronic doodads, his murderer has been caught, and the elusive Jade will remain an enigma. It was an exciting cruise, though, with some mystery theater thrown in to keep us on our toes.” Flossie scooped a few morsels off her plate into a napkin and tucked them into her handbag. “I’ll bring these to Waldo. I think he deserves some extra treats for his part in sniffing out the bad guys.” “You can say that again. Waldo got quite a workout. I’m glad we left him in the cabin tonight.
To think, Goldie thought this cruise would be relaxing. Hah!” Before they left the table, Red gave Flossie and Sterling hugs and told them how great it had been to have them on his ship. “Sorry about the murder, but I really didn’t have any control over that.”
“Oy, it was a real shame that arrogant Sheik bit the dust, but it sure made things exciting for us.” Red shrugged. “That it did, but I could do without that kind of excitement. I might not see you in the morning because I’ll have my hands full with the passengers disembarking.” “Don’t worry about us, Red. Flossie and I will find our way off the ship with no problem.” “Just the same, I arranged for you to be in the first group of passengers to leave. Deke Hand, one of my crew members, will come to your cabins, help you with the whole process and hand you off to Godiva. I talked to her last night and she’ll be waiting at the dock. Take care of my favorite service dog, okay? I’ll miss old Waldo.”
~~~
What a Fun Story! I've been on several cruises, but never ones that resulted in my finding a dead body! And that's not even the whole story... He had been murdered! Ok, we knew that somewhere along the way there was going to be at least one murder, else it wouldn't be a mystery where amateur detectives actually solve the case! But... Most of the time, one of the detectives would not have verbally accosted the victim... Oy vey, what a mess!
So, let's begin at the beginning. Two retired magician act members--Sterling Silver and his sister-in-law, Flossie Silver, who was his assistant--but is also the proud mother of a set of twins--Godiva and Goldie--and Waldo the Wonder Dog. They now all of are living in small bungalows on the estate of Godiva who is a rich widow who arranges for the "oldsters" to go on a cruise. Goldie only comes for a visit from her primary home in Alaska, to help in this time of Distress, yes, with a capital D!
Red Pepper, Goldie's husband, is Captain of a cruise ship, the Aurora Borealis... and after much discussion among the family, Red agreed to host Sterling and Flossie on a cruise when it would be hosting magicians from all over! And, with a little bit of truth-twisting, Waldo was to become Sterling's service dog because he was prone to "fits" and Waldo could tell when one was coming on and help...
Thing was, when Sterling actually had the "fit" for which he would be later jailed, Waldo did little, to help Sterling, because he was later very busy finding the body of Sheik Ali Kazaam... who was twisted between several deck chairs and discovered on an evening stroll during which Flossie pointed out that Sterling really shouldn't have made such a fuss after performance. The key point for Sterling was that the Sheik used electronic gizmos and the Sheik's former assistant had been electrocuted during their last rehearsal... Now, she had been replaced by another beautiful woman who could also be accidentally hurt because the Sheik had chosen these dangerous tools rather than learn the old, but safer vaudeville magic...
Even though Sterling was very upset, he, nonetheless, was personally attracted to the turban that the Sheik wore! And, when they found the Sheik and Flossie had gone for help, Sterling had picked up the turban between the deck chairs and stuffed it down deep into Flossie's large bag in which she always carried possible needs, including water, a sweater...and more... That would prove to be the worst mistake that Sterling had ever made, or at least...the latest!
Of course, the investigation begins onboard; however, everybody there, including Red's family members were not only allowed to leave, but he had arranged for them to leave as part of the first group and would be met by Red's Wife, Flossie's daughter...
Actually, once they had left the ship is when the major work on the murder mystery begins... And it becomes quite complex, even if readers can begin to identify the villains. While the plot may be simple and fun, the complexity is found in the characters and how they play their roles... Flossie is certain, when she finds out that Sterling had stolen the turban, that it would lead to bad luck and began to read the cards to find out exactly what could happen. While the two daughters got together, comparing their clothes and personalities that were so different even as twins and then settled down to work.
Godiva was a newspaper columnist, called Ask G.O.D. for Advice and they had so many submissions, they picked the very "worst" to print:
Dear G.O.D., A few weeks ago I got sick and my husband said he would take care of the house. In a couple of days, when I felt better, I walked around and everything looked fine until I opened the dishwasher. I don’t know what he was thinking, but there in the top basket along with the glasses and cups were two toilet bowl brushes, a pair of old sneakers and the mud flaps from his pickup truck. Now I can’t bear to eat off my dishes. I’m using paper cups and plastic spoons. He says the hot water sanitizes everything and I’m just acting crazy, but I’m ready to throw the bum out with the dishwater. What should I do?
So readers will enjoy reading a number of letters from the many who seek advice... and I have to say, the responses are just as explosive as you will ever see in similar columns you might have read. I love this silly little addition to our reading pleasure.
By the way, did I mention that the main characters, Sterling and Flossie are in their eighties?! And, it was very clear that Flossie had the deeper drive to solve what happened... Her persistence in chasing after those with whom she wanted to speak is intense and when it results in not having moved the case further, she quickly acknowledges she shoulda, coulda, woulda figured it out if only... Actually, though, I could be wrong, but I think this book will have a follow-up story... Otherwise, there's a lot of rare jewels that are floating somewhere around the world, only waiting for Sterling and Flossie to get back on the trail! And I'll be waiting to follow them wherever they travel... I'm hooked on this fantastic and endearing family who comes together for any crisis... Got to love them all!
“Hmmmph. Who’d ever thought you’d have a jade Buddha, a gaudy menorah, and a huge jewel-encrusted gold cross all in the same display? Either she’s got a sense of humor, or can’t make up her mind. Wanna go in?”
~
Flossie jumped in before her daughter could say anything, “I just don’t get it, with your sister’s looks and all her money you’d think she’d find the prince—not the frog. But, what does she do? She attracts another schlemiel.”
~~~
GABixlerReviews
Thank you so much for this wonderful review. I'm going to share it. By the way, the oldsters were also prominently featured in the second book in the series, TERROR IN A TEAPOT.
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