Wednesday, November 15, 2023

Ruminating on The Gospel of Thomas - A Single Christian Woman - Open Memoir - The Early Years

 

Among all the astonishing documents accidentally—or fatefully—unearthed in 1945 near the desert village of Nag Hammadi in Upper Egypt, the Gospel of Thomas has made the greatest impact on our understanding of Christianity. The first English rendering of this text was published in 1959 and was greeted with intense interest by scholars and theologians alike. But the impact of this document was soon felt far beyond the circles of specialists, almost as though an audible recording of the voice of Jesus had been discovered. That is to say that even across the reaches of millennial time and even through the curtain of translation from languages known to but a few, for many of us the words in this text have the power to touch an unknown part of ourselves that brings with it an undeniable recognition of truth and hope. When it was said of Jesus, by those who were at first bewildered by him, that he spoke “as one having authority,” what is surely meant is that he and his teaching authenticated itself by their power to awaken that same hidden, self-authenticating part of the human heart and mind. 
Here we have the key to approaching the fundamental category that scholars and theologians have applied to this document and those like it—the technical term gnosticism. It is a word that in fact points to something of great importance to our understanding of all the spiritual traditions of the world and, as such, of great importance to our understanding of human life itself. 
When scholars apply the label gnostic to the documents found at Nag Hammadi, they are generally assigning them to the current of religious doctrines and practices that flourished in the early centuries of the Christian era and were condemned as heresy in a movement spearheaded in the second century by the redoubtable bishop of Lyons, Irenaeus. The eventual result of this condemnation was the widespread suppression of these heresies and the relentless destruction of their constitutive texts. Until now, most of what was known of these teachings was based on the adversarial accounts of them provided in Irenaeus’s vastly influential work, Against the Heresies. The immense historical significance of the Nag Hammadi documents consists in the likelihood that they were buried by members of some of these communities in order to preserve them from the storm of the ecclesiastical book burning of the time. Thus, nearly two thousand years after the suppression of these so-called heresies, we now suddenly have the opportunity to look directly at aspects of their teachings instead of seeing them largely through the eyes of their enemies. But although the texts themselves can now be directly seen for the first time in nearly two thousand years, really to see them is a task that invites us to something much more demanding and joyous than simply reading them off the pages of ancient scrolls or modern translations and interpreting them according to familiar habits of intellectual analysis. It is not for nothing that in this document the very first words of Jesus, here called by the Aramaic name Yeshua, are these: “Whoever lives the interpretation of these words will no longer taste death.” Is this merely a figure of speech? Or do these words speak to some kind of knowledge and knowing that have an action upon the very flesh and blood of a human being, an action that is incomparably more penetrating than anything we call “knowledge” or “knowing”—including even our inspired moments of intellectual insight or passionate realization? Is there some kind of knowing that can transform our being to the point—dare we imagine—of bringing forth a life that does not die when the body dies? 
Such knowing as this is inseparable from the action of faith—considered not simply as a set of emotionally charged beliefs, but as a movement within the human psyche that generates a magnetic current flowing between our individual human life and the source of human life itself; and that deposits into our human life the spiritualized matter of what is called the “new Adam”; and that enables a man or woman actually to answer in an entirely new way the great cry of St. Paul: “For the good that I would, that I do not; and that which I hate, that do I,” or, in other words, to answer with the actions of love rather than with brittle promises of future virtue. Such transformational knowing actually has little or nothing to do with what we ordinarily call thought. It has to do with energy, the energy of consciousness. This energy is at the heart of what is signified by the ancient word gnosis, from which gnosticism is derived. 
In applying the term gnosticism to these teachings, scholars and theologians understandably call our attention to the emphasis that most of the Nag Hammadi documents place on the role of knowledge in the religious life—in apparent contrast to the demand for faith that became the central tenet of the Church over the centuries, especially in the West. There are numerous other doctrines that are sometimes identified with gnosticism—such as its apparent metaphysical dualism and condemnation of the world. But it is the notion of gnosis as transformational knowing that is of utmost importance and that cries out for deeper inquiry in the world we now live in, a world—a civilization—which is deeply, perhaps fatally, afflicted with an ever-widening disconnect between what we know with the mind and what we know in our heart and in our instincts. 
Both in our civilization and in our personal lives, the growth of knowledge far outstrips the growth of being, endlessly complicating our existence and taking away from us far more than it gives us. In relation to the advances and applications of scientific knowledge, we are like children restlessly sitting at the controls of a locomotive. Without a corresponding growth of inner, moral power, our intellectual power seems now to be carrying us toward disaster—in the form of the catastrophic destruction of the natural world, in the decay of ethical values, in the secrets of biological life falling under the sway of blind commerce or blind superstition, and above all, in the impending worldwide nuclear terror. May we not therefore say, as Plato said 2,500 years ago, that such “knowledge” as we have does not really deserve the label knowledge? Can we listen to him as he tells us that knowledge without virtue can neither bring us good nor show us truth? This is to say that such knowing as we have is not transformational; it does not elevate our level of being and it does not nourish the development of moral power. It is only the fully developed human being, which means only the fully developed human mind in which the intuition of objective value is an essential component, that can see the world as it really is, and that, through its action upon our instincts and impulses, can lead us toward the capability to act in the service of the Good. 
The present text is offered to us by Jean-Yves Leloup not so much as a commentary on these words of Jesus, but “as a meditation that arises from the tilled earth of our silence.” I take this to mean that it is through the author’s own inner opening toward the Self that his scholarly and theological skills take their ultimate direction in translating and interpreting what he rightly calls “this sublime jewel of a gospel.” In other words, there may be, and I believe there are, two kinds or levels of knowing operating in this book. On one level, the visible level of words and concepts, there are the insights and explanations that will help every serious reader think in a new way about the meaning of the teaching of Jesus, a way that does not in any way deny the greatness of Christian doctrine that has brought comfort to countless millions of men and women throughout the ages. But for Leloup, this kind of knowing about the Christian religion, precious as it is, is secondary to a deeper kind given through the grace that is the fruit of the inner work of meditation. And what words can characterize passage to this deeper level of knowing? Leloup puts it this way: “There exists a relative consciousness formed and acquired through readings, encounters, and the thoughts of others.” And he goes on to say: “But there is also a consciousness that arises directly from knowledge of ourselves, of the ‘Living One’ within us. It is toward this consciousness, this gnosis, that Yeshua invites us in the Gospel of Thomas—not in order to become ‘good Christians,’ but to become christs—in other words, gnostics, or awakened human beings.” This deeper knowing may properly be called pure consciousness—or, perhaps more precisely, the pure energy of consciousness. It is an energy, no doubt itself existing at many levels, that can be allowed to descend into the body, heart, and mind and, through its own active force, make of us the being called anthropos, the awakened, fully human being. This energy is not what we ordinarily call thought. But it is this energy that has the power to do what we have wrongly imagined our ordinary thought can do: It can direct all our functions, including our mental thought. This book, therefore—as is true of Jean-Yves Leloup’s presentations of the Gospel of Mary and the Gospel of Philip (which are also gnostic texts)—is in itself a step toward the work of the mind that desperately needs to be rediscovered in our era. The proper work of the mind is to function at two levels, the level of silence and the level of expression. And it is expression that is secondary—that is, truth in the form of words and formulations can come only out of silence, the state of the pure energy of consciousness anterior to its assumption of forms; words; ideas; associations; the organization of impressions, images, programs . . . The mind alone—the mind that is not nourished by the silence of the fertile void of pure Being—as such is incapable of guiding human life. The ordinary, isolated intellect, no matter how brilliant or inspired, has not the energy to command our thoughts, words, impulses, memories and experiences in a way that conforms to truth and the Good. This, in sum, is the tragedy of our era, of our knowledge in the modern world. All that science has brought us—the phenomenal, wondrous discoveries it has brought us about life, matter and the universe—will eventually bring us nothing but destruction because we have forgotten that the mind alone cannot direct itself or the whole of ourselves. It does not have the energy for this. It is an energy that must come from another, higher level within the human psyche, a level that is experienced as silence. Whatever we wish to call it, then—gnosticism, esotericism, mysticism, each in its authentic rather than imitative form—spiritual work has to do with energy rather than solely with what we call thought. Gnosis is a force, not just a set of ideas, symbols, or concepts. To the extent that we render our religious or moral teachings only in words, no matter how beautiful or systematic, we are bound to become the prey of academicism, dogmatism, or fanaticism. What our modern world has suffered from most of all is runaway ideology, the agitated attachment to ideas that thereby become the playthings of infrahuman energies. This is the great danger of all ideologies, whether political, religious, or academic. “Is it possible,” Leloup asks, “to read these logia [these sayings of Yeshua] in a way that allows them to make their way into the mind and the heart of our humanity, leading us into a voyage of transformation, toward a full realization of our being?” Within this question lie both the effort and the reward, the demand and the gift, offered by this and all truly sacred writings. What would it mean to attend to our inner state of being even as we try with all our might to grasp the meaning of these sayings—alone in our room or in our exchanges with companions and colleagues or, for that matter, in our inner confrontations with all the views that we may have previously taken as the sole truth? What would it bring to us now to keep a quiet mind alongside the passionate commitment to independent thought that once brought such hope to our modern world? “It is my belief,” Leloup concludes, “that it is from this ground [of inner silence], rather than from mental agitation, that these words [of Yeshua] can bear their fruit of light.” (italics mine)
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Last year I came across The Gospel of Thomas and wanted to know more. Some of you may recall that I see myself in the Disciple, Thomas, more than any other. I acknowledge that I am a doubter, just as Thomas was said to be... I am always the one asking "Why?" questioning what is going on, what is true...

So I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it was Thomas who recorded all of the words of wisdom that Jesus, our Lord had spoken...My first thought--why was this book not part of the Bible? I've recorded "minutes" in religious and professional business meetings so I knew just how important they are in ensuring the truth of what had happened and decided upon during meetings. (Now, of course, all the technology provides that documentation...) And learning that, indeed, the Bible does not contain many documents/books  that were created during His life, I was once again reminded that, in my opinion, the Bible is an inspired book as opposed to those who have the opinion that it is the Word of God.

I don't remember how I first came to learn the word, ruminating--I liked the sound of it rolling from my tongue... It means to think deeply about something. I remember as a young girl that I would start to read the Bible. I did read it through one time. It was hard. The King James Version, which was the norm at that time is extremely difficult to understand. Although, I do also remember by memory, for instance, the words from the poetic Psalms in that version which I had memorized... 
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want, He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me besides still waters; he restoreth my soul. He guideth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea though I walk through the valley, of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me. Thy prepareth a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over... Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life... And I shall dwell in the House of the Lord forever!

But I continued to search, buying various versions of the Bible, until I could "understand..." For, in my opinion, if the book was from God, then it should be understandable, right? That's when I began to doubt... I remember the "begats." Well, that's how a lot of people referred to the genealogy (my word) section of the Bible. There was no way I could see that God would place this in the main part of His book--surely it would be an Appendix, at least? Ok, Ok, I'm being a little dramatic, and using my personal experience, but I think many of you will understand that as I read, listened and learned, I began to see the... inconsistencies... and question things that were included as, supposedly, Words of God...

About 20 years ago I was attending a church where we had a "Free to be Thin" Bible study group. There were two previous leaders who needed to stop and I was asked to continue the group... I wasn't trying to be flippant, but I said to the pastor, "Are you sure you want me, a single woman, to be leading a group of women many of whom are married?" He gave me a book to read, indicating that if I accepted it, I would be fine."

The next time I was at the church, after finishing the book, which was about family from the Bible... I went up to the pastor and asked? "When will you be able to make the arrangements for me? He looked at me quizzically, "What?" I went on, the book you gave me says that the church is responsible for providing the "living" for single women and I'm just asking as a single woman, when will you start?" Well, I couldn't continue that through to the finish, and started to laugh...as he did..." And I, of course, took over the classes... 

One night, one woman who was quite overweight, started crying and talking about her being abused as a young girl... I knew the feeling and we talked there together. My older sister was there and she later wrote to me. She lamented that she obviously had not been a good sister, since I had never shared my own early life within the family... (but that's for another time...)

But this was just one sample where I thought about whether a book, written thousands of years ago, which had been written by other people, other than Jesus, could actually continue to be what was needed in today's world. But, as you can see, sometimes what is taught is so outdated that it is, essentially, not worthy of acceptance. I quickly point out that I do not oppose the Bible, rather, I believe that having many people interpret, reinterpret, and allow contradictions to be included without explanation, is, at best, to be questioned.

It was later in life when I found the Bible, The Way. It is the "Living Bible" which became popular and, indeed, I learned about it on campus as I was working with a student group to schedule a meeting...

It is in this book where I sounded out and wrote the words: "Praise You Jesus! along with Asciliup to Tito!' when I first was baptized with the Holy Spirit over 50 years ago.

And it was with this book, that I once did what many of you may have also done... One day, I thought I'd try what somebody else had told me "if I open the book randomly, I may get an answer... So, my question was, What will my future hold?" or something like that. Well, somewhere in the book, I might have marked it... But what and where in the Bible I cannot specifically recall.

You see, the passage was about being married with children... And, at that age, I was looking to begin working and having a career... I look back on that day often... While just opening the book might not have been a time of revelation from God, I do believe that He heard me speak my own plan for my future... and allowed it to happen... For all of those who wonder, I've never had the desire to be married. Sure, I've wanted to be in love, but I never looked beyond that, except once... That, too, is for a later chapter...

Through one version of the Bible after the other, there was not one which felt real, you know what I mean? Slowly, I began to realize that when I was involved in any religious issue, the Words of Jesus, were what would come to me... A logical reason of course could be that I love music and having sung and memorized so many about Jesus, that my mind would automatically move to those words. 

On the other hand, why, when I needed to share with someone, would His Spirit bring forth only His Words?

Recently, my nephew, who has in the past considered being a minister, posted online about repentance or going to Hell...a fairly lengthy diatribe. I responded, how I wished that he would think about what Jesus would be talking about--reminding him that when He came upon the woman, surrounded by men ready to stone her to death, that He spoke His words... I pointed out that Jesus did not even speak of Hell when addressing any of those individuals... Instead, we might ask "What would Jesus Do?" within each situation we may face...


The Way allowed me to read The Bible... But His Spirit always brings me to the Words spoken by Jesus...

In reading The Gospel of Thomas, I recognized all of His words, but thought how wonderful to be able to have just one book which provided His words... And then the book went into a new section which turned out to be somebody's interpretation of those words. 

I'm not quite through with this book, but I have once again begun to question the interpretation... At least in comparison to my own experiences with Him. For it seems, that, once again, a learned individual is trying to explain... Yet, Jesus said it was simple, we were to become as little children and open our hearts to Him...


I was 13 when I asked to be baptized, Just as Jesus asked John the Baptist to baptize Him... I was young enough yet old enough to Believe Him...


Matthew 18:2-5

2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."



I have found that it doesn't take years of studying to know... It took a young child to realize that I Am A Child of the King! Though we may continue to learn and recognize His greatness, it is only to learn to Know Him as we would do with our earthy Friends. He is with us always... Even when we turn away, perhaps, for a short time, consumed with our own Will, which He gave to us... Even now, He waits... as even earthly parents wait...with their love to give us... With one major difference. If We Have Asked Him to Come In... It is There He Awaits...


Thinking back over my life, I remember the times when I've turned away, not from Him, per se but chose my own will over His. You see, some would call it my conscience. But what is your conscience other than an awareness that there is some outside Being that has embedded each of us with the knowledge of right versus wrong...?

But one thing I do know, that I know, that I know. When I asked Jesus to come into my heart many years ago, He came. He Lives Within Me... And as to knowing Him? I believe that we do indeed continue to learn more about Him, as we are able... but, never, would He ever ask that we feel pressured to study, doggedly, to ensure we know Him...Because He has all the time in the world... And, when, I decided that I would, possibly, always be A Single Christian Woman, then that was His accepting that I had chosen and He would never override what I needed to do to become what I am today...

And one of those gifts He gave me, was a love of reading...and discernment about what I read... And, further, when I doubt, question or ask Why? Somehow a certain book that I should read has come to me...

As recorded by Thomas:
1    Yeshua said: Whoever lives the interpretation of these words will no longer taste death. 2    Yeshua said: Whoever searches must continue to search until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed; and being disturbed, they will marvel and will reign over All. 3    Yeshua said: If those who guide you say: Look, the Kingdom is in the sky, then the birds are closer than you. If they say: Look, it is in the sea, then the fish already know it. The Kingdom is inside you, and it is outside you. When you know yourself, then you will be known, and you will know that you are the child of the Living Father; but if you do not know yourself, you will live in vain and you will be vanity. 4    Yeshua said: An aged person will not hesitate to ask a seven-day-old infant about the Place of Life, and that person will live. Many of the first will make themselves last, and they will become One. 5    Yeshua said: Recognize what is in front of you, and what is hidden from you will be revealed. There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed...


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