Talking with Kelsey Carlee, Author of Double-Crossed & Unraveled - A Memoir - A Couple Surprises

 

I woke up this morning singing this song in my sleep. I awoke just as the words were "For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, Forever... Amen... I knew that God wanted me to post this song with this post - Another God Incident in my life - I was led to this song, sung by Rhema Marvanne, who asked that her song be shared... Rhema sings the song, as I would sing it. I knew this was the child I had been led to to open this post... I believe that God is speaking to us today. To those who are listening for His Word... It was Jesus who spoke of allowing children to come to Him... I firmly believe that it was my early life, in getting to know Jesus and that He loved me, that I was led to this day to speak out... I thank Kelsey and Rory who agreed to participate in this extremely personal discussion...  I believe it is what Jesus wants us to know about how America--the world--have and are treating His children. People are speaking out. Memoirs are being written, fictional writers are including these things in their stories... and I also am writing an Open Memoir, some of which is included in this post... 

If you have read yesterday's post about Kelsey's book, Double-Crossed & Unraveled, you will already understand that the topics covered in this book are extremely revealing of Kelsey's early life years. I quickly was invested in knowing more about Kelsey. Her life was so different than mine in so many ways. Yet it was alike in one way... Please note that there are three generations included in this discussion. All of them are still living in America. I am one of them. I was led this morning to differentiate the responders simply by color. Readers will undoubtedly see who is speaking; however, I am led to say that we are mere representatives of children living in today's world...

And Jesus is Crying for His Children...

~~~

Once in a while, I've bought a book purely because of its cover. I pictured the author creating this one. Then on the inside, there is also an almost magical use of dots and dashes, as if a secret code...To me, this means that the writer has an important statement to make and she wanted to do it--her way... I could relate... While reading the book, I was curious to know more, so I've asked the author to come to Book Readers Heaven to talk about about what was covered. But, further, I wanted to look at the issues from a time perspective, from my own experiences, the author's...and from a later time period... I knew just who to contact... 

I am incredibly glad that you reached out to me! I cannot wait to see this on your blog and link it to my website. It really means a lot that you are asking these questions and your words about my cover art and the use of morse code (as when we are abused, we use secret codes and hiding things to protect ourselves, especially when the abuse is at the hands of family members).

With that said, I drew my cover art while sitting on my front porch with a pencil on a blank piece of paper. It represents the innocent girl I once was, sitting on the steps of the arched stairway in Seattle right before fleeing the Fat Tuesday Mardigras riot. The MMI represents the year 2001, the morse code along the bottom reads Seattle, and in the cobblestone is a memorial plaque for a young man who gave his life helping a young woman up from the ground.

I want to do a comparative look... I believe it is a contrast that must be considered as we move forward in today's world... Primary issues are dating, car privileges, sexual activity, parent interaction, peer relationships... Based upon the book, but also based upon sharing today's thoughts and opinions...

Was religion a part of your early life? Did it play a part in your teen relationships/dating? Was there religious instructions regarding sex? How does religion fit in your present life?

I have to admit that I've been amazed at the differences of those who are much younger than me. Reading this story reminded me as to just how times have changed. I think that is an important factor since each of us normally have at least a memory or living grandparents, as well as parents. Each generation appears to be quite different--and yet--very much the same... I hope this discussion will  bring that out to be considered...

For me, living in a small town, the church was the only real center of gathering. We had two churches where I grew up. Both were protestant. We did have BYF, Baptist Youth Fellowship which was merely meeting by age groups and studying scripture or related learning materials. There was NO discussions or guidance on dating, teen relationships, or religious instructions regarding sex. I was baptized at 13 and have been active in one church or another for all my life, up until recently when health issues resulted in several surgeries and a need to stay at home. Of course, Covid led to much of that time period. Earlier, though, an incident at church resulted in my leaving... I have a wonderful relationship with God through His Holy Spirit, which is, perhaps, extraordinary at times...

I remember there was little about religion in your book, until the very end. So, could you share a little, please.  

Religion was very much a part of my early life. I never had any instruction regarding sex as I attended private school. I don’t currently practice organized religion, but I very much believe in God. 

Yes, Christianity. I received no religious training. In fact, religion did not play any part in my teen years. By that time, I had stopped participating in church. And, religion is not a part of my present life.

I was baptized at 13 when I was attending a small Baptist country church. Do you mean you went to a religious school? If so, I guess I am surprised that you had freedom of the car...Me? My older sister wouldn't even let me drive, until she wanted to go out on a date with a new guy and wanted me to drive our carpool members home. LOL, I stood up to her and said no, you wouldn't let me drive before, and I'm sure not going to drive after not driving for years!

Was incest or sexual abuse an early event in your life? What did you do about telling what happened? Do you believe that what happened affected your life, short-term? long-term?

I'm single and never married, by the way, and I realized that I didn't ask too many personal questions, so, are you married? Involved?Any children? And, if you have children, what are you doing, if anything, about talking about sex? 

I am not currently married. I have loved and trusted, but sexual experiences do not have any influence on that current decision. It’s just a personal choice to be single at this season in my life. 

I am married and have a young child.

 Although there was no talk about the early experiences in the book, I do want to include some basic info. I know it is sometimes difficult to share about what happened when you had no ability to control what was happening. I have to believe that what I remember was true, but I'd be happy to have you provide any feedback if you wish.

I don't know when and how my first sexual abuse happened. What I remember is that, when a certain uncle died, it was as if my mind remembered something. In those days, a body was often "shown" at home prior to burial. I remember the house clearly. It was one where you could walk all the way around the floor, going from room to room, coming out where you started. That day, it was in a room which was rarely used for routine events. I remember that I walked around and around and around the circle of rooms, crying deeply and whispering to myself "I'm glad he's dead. I'm glad he's dead. I'm glad he's dead. And when I came into the room again where he was, I would cry even more, because I felt guilty for being glad he was dead... I would imagine that I was at least 8 or 9 when he died. I heard people saying that I must have really liked him, which made me feel even more guilty... I WAS GLAD HE WAS DEAD... Struggling with guilt did not change my mind about my feelings about his death!

Again I don't remember my age, but there were three other individuals who I remember touched me inappropriately, all in my family. I've shared a little with my two sisters in later years. Neither of their responses held my respect for their answers. All four individuals were also active church members. I never told anybody what had happened, really, until the time when the "Me-Too" movement began... 

I agree with what you said about the “me too” movement, which makes it much easier to talk about these types of things that happen.  I was six when I was first sexually abused by my uncle. I didn’t speak up for many years, until it happened again when I was in my early teens. Incest was normalized in my family, and my talking about it was quickly dismissed. I always knew it was wrong, but no one was ever shocked to hear about it until I told someone in a hospital. I think it very much influenced my life and my ability to trust others. It’s a very deep betrayal to be molested by a family member under the guise of love.

The way you phrased that last sentence, set me back to wondering about something, so this might be a time to bring the issue up... I was the baby of four children; my mother was pregnant for me when my father was killed in an accident. I wondered if things would have been different if there had been a man in our home. What you mention as "normalized," I wondered about whether this was part of normal curiosity of children at various ages... Although I've obviously heard stories about "playing doctor" but I, too, always knew it was wrong, so what or how is secret touches determined to be "wrong" by the child (even if they never share what happened with anybody)? Many years have passed and I am still not able to trust many people...

I also agree that things may have turned out very differently if there hadn’t been an absence, emotionally in my own case, of a man and protector in the house. I think this definitely contributed to the situation. I didn't tell anyone until years later. The result for me was long-term since I do not easily trust others...

I was molested by a member of my family. I didn't tell anybody until years later when my best friend shared a little about her own life with me. I remember she included that she had lost her trust and I agreed that was the same for me. 

When did you start to date? Was that a parental determination or was there a discussion and agreement? Were you satisfied with the final decision?

Did you learn how to drive and at what age? Were you allowed to drive? Did this affect how you interacted with your peers? As you look back, would you have done something different?

I don't remember dating was even discussed with me. We lived in a small town, so being the baby of the family, there was enough of an age difference with my sisters that there was nobody nearby to be my friend. My childhood "boyfriend" (we liked each other, LOL) was allowed to date much younger than I would be allowed, so it was not until the 7th grade when I started riding a bus to junior high that I even got to be friends with my peers. At school we hung around together. One of my friends was Black and there were few of her race in our age group... the other was involved so he and his friend joined us for lunches. Me, by that age, I was very overweight and although I had good friends of both sexes, dating never came into the picture during high school. 

I first began to date at fifteen. There was never any discussion with my parents. I learned to drive when I was fifteen, and I had my permit by sixteen. I was allowed to take the car, and it very much affected my interaction with peers as none of them had driving privileges or access to a vehicle. While reflecting, I realize that I can’t change the past when I think about whether I would have done anything differently. There are certainly things that I wish had never happened in my life, though. 

I started dating when I was 14. It was my decision and I informed my parents. They had rules where I could see them and how often. I was never happy with their decisions. I did learn to drive at 16 but was not allowed to drive. So, I was forced to sneak out to hang out with my friends. I felt I had no choice so I wouldn't have done anything differently.

When was your first intimate sexual experience? When was sex first involved with dating? Is your sex life important to you?

I was going to say 23, but then I realized that it was earlier, probably around 20 when I had double-dated with my best friend who didn't want to go out with somebody she had just met. Both were businessmen. from out-of-town. We stayed out all night and met again for breakfast. John was the perfect man with whom to be involved. I admitted I was a virgin and he was very kind and said that our intimacy would not change that... I was happy to learn from somebody who put me first.

My first intimate sexual experience was with my first serious boyfriend, and we’d been together just shy of a year. I was fifteen, and this was the first time that sex was involved in dating for me. It was a consensual sexual experience. I am currently celibate and do not engage in sexual activity by choice. I am happy with that decision, as intimacy can be uncomfortable for me.

Dating which included sex began at 15. My sex life has been important to me.

Has pain ever been a part of any sexual experience? What did you do if it was? And, if it was, what did you decide about it or its effect on your life? Do you feel now that pain is a part of the sexual experience?

I think whatever experience that I had when I was very young must have been painful. Somehow I was sheltered from rape or anything like that--that I know of. And I had made a decision after reading some erotic books (from England) where, supposedly, young girls were sent to places to be "trained" for their future with men... I made a firm decision that I would never be willingly involved with pain as part of making love. It was, I believe, God watching over me, even then...

Pain has been a part of several of my experiences with sexual activity. I have been raped by individuals I thought I loved and trusted. I picked up the pieces and moved on with my life afterwards, feeling that I had no other choice. I decided not to let it take hold of my emotions or life. I didn’t speak of it for many years, but I decided that sharing my story might help someone else who had been through something similar. I wrote my book in hopes that others may be able to relate, as I wish that I had that for myself when I was in the trenches of suffering from abuse. Like you, I think that pain shouldn’t ever be a part of the sexual experience, and as an adult, I now realize that what I went through was not normal and was actually horrific.

I have to ask a follow up on this question. I got very emotional about your continuing a relationship which included physical abuse. You definitely were raped, but what I couldn't understand since it was going on for so long, how would your parents "not" know? Especially when the two boys had taken you away from your porch, what followed, and then for your having no support from your mother... Please, if you can, share a little about your mother in particular. Did she use the texting as you included? Why? Was there no rules ever set for time, how the car was used...and, if there was, was part of the problem that you didn't agree with them, so thought you'd ignore them? 

You ask a valid question as to why the abuse in my early relationships was allowed to continue. Throughout my lifetime, I have often asked myself that same question and have been unable to come up with an answer that makes any real sense. There were certainly a lot of concerned individuals whose names are redacted from my records with child protective services. I believe that my parents didn’t recognize the signs of abuse, and I hid them well, such as covering bruises with concealer and making up excuses. It was role reversal in a way with my mother, in that I would try to shelter her from knowing the truth in the beginning. As to why she initially blamed Cole for my EtOH overdose and now Howie and Drew, who were very clearly the ones involved, I think it comes down to shock. If I had been my own mother, I certainly would have been in shock to be woken to see myself in that state. I have at times wondered how differently things may have turned out if she had owned that mistake, those boys had been held accountable, and justice had been served in relation to that incident. At the end of my book, in the unsent letter I wrote to Howie, I reference judgment day. I believe that at the end of our lives, we will have to answer to God about the decisions we chose to make or didn't make. Writing my story down from start to finish was my own way of finding peace and justice for myself in hopes of setting it down. It also produced a tangible account that I was able to share with others. When I was going through my youth, I wished more than anything that there could be one other person to personally understand what I was going through. Abuse thrives in isolation, so being able to share my story with others has been healing and also helpful. The e-mails and letters in the book are in SIC format. I believe in her mind that she honestly believed that I was best off going to A.A. meetings and attending treatment groups. She gave me the car keys to attend these, which was ultimately where I met others who had serious drug problems, were in legal trouble, and hadn’t just dabbled socially with pot use. In later discussions, I would learn that she didn’t want me to turn out as she had. Her rule for using the car was that I was home before the bars closed and drunk drivers were out on the road, which I didn't understand the meaning behind until later in my life. I believe that when we know better, we do better.

Pain has been a part of some of my sexual experiences but it was always as part of a discussion with my partner and never the type that would be considered abuse. Specifically, I would decide on a day to day basis whether something experimental would be involved. I've always felt that I was in control of that involvement. It rarely happens for the most part...

Have you ever had an abortion? What do you think about abortion in the context of your personal health... What kind of contraceptives do you use if any

I have strong feelings about abortion. I believe it is a personal issue that should never have any legal ramifications. It is a part of women's health that can often be used to save the involved woman's life. I do not believe that abortion is a religious issue! I further believe that a mother's life is more important than ever mandating a birth. Too many women already die in childbirth because of medical issues. The law should not be part of it!

In response to the abortion question, I have never had an abortion procedure. I took birth control when I was younger, as my mother didn't want me to be a teen mother as she had been. I have also taken the Plan B morning after pill one time after having been raped, and I was thankful for the local Planned Parenthood clinic. Personally, I could never have an abortion. Having children is not something that I will be able to do, so contraceptive use is not relevant for me. On that note, I will say that I believe abortion should be the choice of a woman and that "her body, her choice" is applicable. I also believe that past a certain stage of development, a fetus has developed enough that terminating its life is a complicated decision, and it’s a fine line. In my opinion, certain cases, such as rape and incest, should be treated differently. No woman should be forced to carry her rapist's baby to term unless she chooses to do so. I understand that it is a controversial topic, but those are my thoughts on the subject.

I am one of the many women who have had a miscarriage and who also had a difficult birth. It was my body that was involved in those issues. Nobody should be included in those decisions except as the woman wishes. It is not a legal issue! It is a medical issue. No different from any other medical issues where the law are not involved! In my opinion, it is also not a religious issue...

After I had already been talking about putting this discussion together, I went on to another book... I am providing a portion of that book as it relates to this discussion--the second and new participant's story...

After VBS, I scanned the adults leaving the building. “Did you get a lift?” Conrad asked. He patted his truck and told me to climb in. I was honored. Conrad was young and popular, especially with the kids. Preachers had dedicated their lives to God, and were cut from a different, more holy, cloth. We generally idolized them as being better than us and so I felt special as I climbed into his truck and cranked the window. We drove down Highway 89 and saw a hitchhiker. “Scoot over,” Conrad said. “I’m going to do a good deed.” “What?” This seemed foreign, reckless, and invigorating. I had an appropriate fear of strange men on the side of the road but not for people in the church. There were good guys and bad guys, and the formula for telling which was which was easy: church people were good, everyone else was suspicious. But Conrad was joking. He sped past the hitchhiker, and I was relieved. After winding down the long gravel road to my house, he shifted into neutral, pulled the emergency brake, and asked, “Mind if I grab some water?” I wasn’t supposed to bring boys in the house when my parents weren’t home, a new rule now that I was no longer in elementary school. But Conrad wasn’t a boy. He was twenty-three, eleven years older than me. Plus, he was a preacher. He picked up on my uncertainty. “For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ,” he said. “Verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.” “You memorized a Bible verse in case you ever needed to ask for a drink?” He flashed a grin. “Did it work?” We climbed the stairs and walked past a porch swing my dad made. The door wasn’t locked, and the kitchen still smelled of bacon grease. I handed him tap water. He tossed back the water and thudded the glass on the table. “Gotta go. Catch you tomorrow?” He didn’t look at me as he headed out the door. A few seconds later, however, his face appeared through the screen door. “Forgot my keys.” I let him in, and we looked on the countertops, near the sink. Nothing. “Check your pockets?” I asked. He reached into his front right one and his left. No keys. “Maybe you left them in the ignition?” He left the kitchen, and I followed him. “Your keys won’t be in there.” He walked into my grandmother’s old room we’d repurposed after her recent death. There was a love seat along the wall, and her power-lift chair in the corner. Suddenly, his hand was on my face, and he turned me to him. He was looking at me in a funny way. At school, we played a staring game, the first one to look away loses. But this was different. I wanted to look away, at the floor or my hands—anywhere but his eyes—but looking away felt like defeat. He held my gaze, then leaned in and hugged me. I awkwardly accepted the embrace. But after I pulled away from him, he kissed me, moved me onto the small sofa, and climbed on top of me. I froze as his hands slid into the bra I’d only recently started wearing and reached for my zippers and buttons. A few things happened all at once. First, my sexual purity—vow or not—was shattered. Second, I became “damaged,” ruined for all future love interests. He moved on me, his thin lips and pointy tongue on my mouth. It happened so quickly. There was no fumbling, no exploration, just direct and confident motions toward parts of me normally covered in clothing. Parts that had never been touched. He was fast and deliberate, like doing combat maneuvers. Then it was over. He climbed off me, stood up, and smiled. “Well, look at this.” Conrad patted his back pocket and pulled out a key. “If it’d been a snake, it would’ve bit me.” He smiled, before a sober expression passed over his face. “You can’t tell anyone about this. We really shouldn’t have done it.” He tucked a wisp of hair behind my ears. “If people think a preacher’s a hypocrite, they might not believe in God.” And with that one comment, I gained a secret burdened with the weight of other people’s eternal salvation. He walked to the door. “Catch ya tomorrow, okay?” The screen door slammed shut, locking me inside with my shame. What happened on my dead grandmother’s love seat was reserved for married people. At the same time, I was conflicted. He was a preacher, and he chose me over his deeply held biblical beliefs because he liked me. I was special. I was a different person the next day, walking back into vacation Bible school. Older. I didn’t need a scarlet letter to know I was a trampled rose now with no chance at getting my life right. I pushed this dread away. For the first time in my life, my real life conflicted with my spiritual life, and I was adrift, and I didn’t know how to fix it. It was a dreadful feeling to have ruined your life at such an early age. For months, Conrad popped by the house to visit my parents, before secretly stealing visits with me on the porch for some variations of the same activity. Preachers weren’t inerrant, but they did hold the keys to salvation. Men made the rules—both the patriarchs of the Bible and the church. Conditioned to appreciate any attention men in spiritual authority might give, to obey their teachings, and even alleviate any of their inconveniences, I never even considered putting a stop to this. All of this must’ve been okay, I decided, because he’d one day ask me to be his wife. I’d been told this sort of thing should happen only within the confines of a marriage bed. He’d said that, and I believed my church’s moral instruction. But the secret I carried was cumbersome, and I spent all of my efforts trying to carry it alone. While Conrad attended Wednesday night services, I sat in the pew stealing glances in his direction. He never met my gaze. After a few months, he hadn’t dropped by the house in a while, and he was keeping his distance from me at church. At first, this seemed like a romantic cat-and-mouse game. It took me a few weeks to realize, with a sinking sensation, that it was just abandonment. He’d ruined me and left. I’d thought my relationship with Conrad meant I was “in,” but it shoved me “out.” The warmth and comfort I’d always felt from church was replaced with a cold dread. At first, I still sat with the youth group on what we called the “amen pew,” dropped coins into the collection plate, and volunteered to read the Bible passages. But my innocent, wide-eyed faith was gone, and all of these familiar activities now felt like they were happening on a stage. I was acting. I’d learned about sin when I’d gotten baptized “for the remission of my sins” the previous summer at camp. I’d emerged from the swimming pool waters spiritually pure and clean. But that evening at church camp, I’d laughed at a joke someone made at another’s expense. I was crushed that I hadn’t been able to live a full day without sinning, and I didn’t know how to tap back into that sensation of purity. The only way I knew how to achieve this was to “go forward” during the “song of invitation” after every sermon, as preachers asked wayward souls to come forward and either get baptized or confess their sins. When I got back home after camp, I walked down that long, lonely aisle as the congregation warbled the words of “Just As I Am.” The preacher looked surprised to see me, since such public confessions were usually reserved for public sin like an unwed pregnancy or upcoming jail time—something obvious a person couldn’t hide. When the preacher handed me a white index card to document the reason for my public confession, I didn’t know what to put. I checked the box for “unspoken sin.” My desire for absolution, of course, embarrassed my family, who had been shocked to see me walk down that aisle. I’m sure all the people in the congregation had assumed I’d been caught up in something scandalous. Truth was, I was keenly aware of my own shortcomings and had no idea how to deal with them. Now that I truly had a scandal, I was too ashamed to go forward. You can’t go forward during every service, and I’d already wasted my shot over something trivial. Plus, I couldn’t go forward as Conrad sat on the front row glaring at me. The church convinced me sin would send me straight to hell. Once this was my inevitable eternal destination, I resigned myself to it. I had no recourse. I wanted to be pure again, but I was too damaged for that now. A hard carapace formed around me, a shell of cynicism to protect me from my newfound lack of hope. I started skipping Wednesday night class and sneaked off with a friend named Henry who was two years older, someone who was already on “the outside” ever since his parents’ divorce. Henry and I pretended to go to class but instead walked the long rural road in the dark, learning to smoke cigarettes together and popping mints before we returned to the building. He didn’t ask why I was suddenly morose, and I never asked about his parents’ divorce. We were malcontents, wondering if any of the church teachings were real. When I went back to school that fall, my moral standards slipped. Any time my friends and I weren’t directly supervised—between classes, in the locker rooms—we played a game in which we held our breath while friends pressed down on our sternums. We passed out in each other’s arms, coming groggily back to the harsh reality of school with great reluctance. It was dangerous and terrifying, but I enjoyed the lightheaded, skin-tingling sensation of not being present in my own body. At sleepovers with my school friends, I watched Freddy Krueger movies, smoked Marlboro Lights, and pretended to like beer. One day, a school counselor conducted a special gathering of eighth graders. She wrote her name on the board in cursive: Ms. Shaw. My cheerleading friends shot me a sideways glance. Nothing screamed “lesbian” more than her short hair and her identifying as a “Ms.” I’d never known anyone to identify as a Ms. That was just something we’d learned about in grammar lessons, a question on an elementary school test. The only way it would come up in real life is when we didn’t know whether a lady was married and didn’t want to offend her. It’s a whole different matter when someone chooses it. “First, I’m going to define sex abuse.” Ms. Shaw’s speech was the first time anyone had ever introduced the concept of kids having bodily autonomy. While she sat on a stool at the front of the class, I picked at my fingernails. A football player slapped me on the back of the head. “Listen to the butch, will ya?” He made a V with his fingers and a sexual gesture with his tongue. My friends giggled. My skin grew hot, but I laughed too. “If you’re ever touched in a sexual way by an adult,” she continued, “please tell a trusted adult.” My heart pounded, though I didn’t believe I was a victim of anything. I had secretly dated a preacher and we’d broken up. If anything, I was responsible, since I’d let him come into the house and caused him to stumble. A pedophile was a guy behind the wheel of an ice cream truck, not someone who loved me. Conrad had loved me, at least, until I did something to lose that love. What? I didn’t know. But I’d never heard we were too young to consent or that adults who pursued us were predatory. If Ms. Shaw explained these concepts on that day, I didn’t hear it over the thudding of my heart. I contemplated making a secret appointment with her and confessing everything, asking for help. “If you’re ever in a bad situation, my door’s always open.” She climbed down off the stool as my friends made snarky comments behind me. She said all the right things and her office was right down the hall. But I was like a drunk swimmer unable to grab onto the life preserver because I didn’t identify that sinking sensation as drowning. My heart was broken, but that was the cost of what I’d done. Conrad had taken away my innocence, my church community, my relationship with my parents, and my faith. He had also messed up my perspective of other romantic possibilities. When guys my age had an interest in me, I clammed up and expected the worst. I couldn’t go back in time and be casual about romance again. I used to fall in and out of love so innocently that I didn’t even identify it as love. I’d taken love for granted...

This is a First Major Thrust of

my Open Memoir

A Single Christian Woman:

Is Sex All That?

This will be posted on Both of my Blogs

Be Prepared For Links

All Participants are Welcome

Formally or By Comment

There are none so Blind than 

People Who Will Not See...

When I had cataracts removed,

I had to wear glasses to keep my eyes from bright lights...

Are we wearing dark glasses rather than

seeing the Light of Jesus?

Do you Hear What I Hear above the noise of the World?

Watch for More Books on Today's Issues!

and God Bless Us All

Gabby

Donald Trump Is Not My Savior - By Michael Brown, PhD - Review and Discussion

 

About the Author

Michael Brown is a Jewish believer in Jesus (he came to faith in 1971 as a heroin-shooting, LSD-using, hippie rock drummer) and he holds a Ph.D. in Near Eastern Languages and Literatures from New York University. He's written more than 40 books, including wake-up calls to the Church of America, scholarly monographs and commentaries on biblical subjects, a series of volumes on answering Jewish objections to Jesus, and much-discussed books on today's hottest cultural issues. He has spoken throughout America and in more than 30 countries, and he hosts the nationally syndicated, daily talk radio show "The Line of Fire." He is the founder and president of FIRE School of Ministry in Concord, NC and serves as a visiting or adjunct professor at a number of seminaries. He and his wife Nancy have been married since 1976 and have two wonderful daughters and four incredible grandchildren. His heart beats to see a gospel-based moral and cultural revolution in this generation.

I had starting reading this book several times, but various medical issues always seemed to interrupt and prevent an ongoing analysis--which I very much wanted to do. Now that we are in the midst of the former president again running for the presidency, I felt a more urgent need. In doing so, I want to share three caveats for myself. 

1. Up until I heard those infamous words about "grabbing..." I had little or no interest in following politics. Like many Americans, I had spent all of my life working to earn a living while also studying for possible promotional opportunities. Thus, in reading this book which referenced issues pre-Trump, I did learn from the book, some of which I was able, to some extent, accept what was being said--as he saw it.

2. I had long ago turned from the belief that the Bible was a factual word of God, for a number of reasons. I have always believed in this being a God-inspired set of both historical value as well as a compilation of those direct words from Jesus. It is a well-known fact that there were many documents available to individuals living in those times. And, that, those materials were then reviewed by many, some of which were ultimately included in the Bible that has generally been used for centuries. I had accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 13. I found the Bible hard to understand. But it was not until I learned from a dear friend who was a member of the Catholic Church, that she did not even own a Bible. Instead, at that time, it was the Priest who taught about the book. Since then, there were many issues I have found revelatory and which caused me to become in my own mind, a "doubting thomas..." Indeed, during my more than 50 years being in a protestant church, I can not remember at any time that the issues of our culture were ever addressed. 

3. I had been the last child to a mother of four, when my father was killed in a mine accident. I watched as my mother worked day and night to provide food and shelter to us. It was quite understandable for me, in my opinion, to become a woman who became self-sufficient, and an individual who knew that she could be required to one day also take care of herself, and possibly others. I became interested in women's rights and indeed participated in ways by which women could be sure that they could be self-reliant. There were two instances in this book that I personally found offensive on behalf of women: "I’m not just talking about his silly attacks on Megyn Kelly (blood), Carly Fiorina (face)..."Frankly, Trump's statements, including the two Brown mentions are, in my mind and many others, not just silly attacks! especially coming from a presidential nominee! 

And another omission of relevance to women's religious and personal freedom... While Brown alluded to King David and Bathsheba, I have never heard this discussed by any pastor... Indeed, as we now learn of, for instance,  one Ohio 10-year-old child being raped by a relative, that the republicans refuse to recognize incest as an exception. It seems to me that by claiming that the Bible is fully God's Word, that this tale in itself could easily be construed by men/boys that rape of siblings is quite alright! And that lusting after another's wife, and murdering her husband, is also God's Word. Clearly, at a minimum, Calling the historical references within the Bible as God's Word can be misleading to, especially, new young Christians!

With these caveats about me, the reader, I began to read from an awareness that I, indeed, was a never-Trumper as defined in Dr. Brown's book. It is therefore incumbent upon me to verify upfront, that my analysis of the book, Donald Trump Is Not My Savior, is based upon several basic assumptions. For one, up until everything started to happen, I was not aware that I was anything but a Christian. And I was not aware that I was without religious freedom as the Evangelical Christians claimed. And, you are correct, there is a reference to christians being murdered. However, that is no different, it seems to me, than anybody else being murdered for one reason or another. It certainly did not actually change my religious freedom, rather my life would have been taken. There is little reference to anything else as being the cause for being willing to make a deal with Donald Trump. My thoughts are shared by others including Frank Shaeffer... Son of Francis Shaeffer, for evangelist around the time period of Billy Graham.

It all started when my sister told me that I had to sign up as a republican when I mentioned I wanted to vote. (Note that I had lived in a different state prior to this discussion) I was told that all Christians were republican! NOT! I initially signed up as an Independent, not wanting to be tied to anybody purely for the sake of party. When I saw the continued "Trump Effect," I chose to change to vote in support of the Democratic Party. I have not changed my opinion regarding that decision. Indeed, I found many issues in Brown's narrative about which I could speak knowledgeable. For instance, Brown's assertion that the past president doing the bidding of the Evangelical Christians to put conservative judges on the Supreme Court and other courts was given high praise... Apparently, he had NO problem with the republican party STOPPING Obama from placing now, AG Garland, on the Supreme Court. In fact, it became apparent that republicans routinely tried to hold or stop anything that President Obama tried to get through Congress. Considering that Brown admits that he watches little television and that, in his view, it was biased, it seems to me that the breadth of Dr. Brown's actual knowledge may very well be lacking, and, in turn, detrimental to his book's conclusions.

To create the book that is now titled Donald Trump Is Not My Savior, AND get it published quickly which he felt a need to do, Brown actually took a series of previously written articles, created a front and back to those and added an index of footnotes. Actually, it turned out well and is easily useful. Want to know how Dr. Brown felt about this or that, then check the chapter titles and go directly to that article. You will find, however, that, perhaps, many issues that you may have been concerned about, during the Trump years may not be covered. For instance, While Trump published a book called The Art of the Deal, it was ghostwritten and that man later regretted his taking on this project. It is not known whether that was on purpose or just an attempt to deal with those issues that concerned him most. I will say that Brown has been vocal--indeed very vocal--about his ongoing concern about Trump as president for the nation. He even wrote trying to Trump questioning that Trump said his favorite book was the Bible, yet he, as well as most of the country clearly saw that he didn't even know what the Bible said...

Dr. Brown is an excellent communicator. But he made one basic mistake I've seen before, at least from my review experience--and probably will be seen by many others. Dr. Brown wrote as if we all knew what he was talking about! Let's hope that he really didn't expect us to stop and research the background of all of the "negative" statements for which he provided no justification. So, that, whenever he started to justify his decisions, it was based upon his assumption that surely his readers would feel the same as he. Let me be very specific as Dr. Brown provides a set of apparent concerns or beliefs that are the base foundation for Evangelical Christians.

Dr. Brown points out that one conflict for Evangelical Christians was deciding to accept the bad with the good of Mr. Trump...or... vote for Hillary Clinton. Now, I've never been especially impressed with Hillary. But, let's face it! She's a woman! A woman who would understand what women wanted to have dealt with in the country... I am a woman. I saw that on the day of the inauguration, that thousands and thousands of women went to Washington to protest Trump's selection! There us no doubt in my mind, given the large turnout about the Trump presidency (as well as the massive turmoil now taking place re women's health issues) that women in America, as a majority do not support Trump nor banning abortion.

So expecting us to understand why voting for Trump over Clinton was, certainly, not as inevitable as Dr. Brown thought that it should be... Indeed, for me, this just confirmed a, perhaps, long-time bias by conservatives regarding the role of women in the world. Proven, in my opinion, by the mass of marching women that day.

Taking this a step further. Dr. Brown pointed out that Hillary was Pro-Choice. Conservative Evangelical Christians are not. Nuf said? I think not! I am Pro-Choice, simply because I do not believe that the government, the president, the congress or any other official has the right to decide what a woman does about her body. Their are several religious issues that I would pinpoint. Years ago, the separation of church and state was formally adopted. Indeed, I believe that many immigrants were and are coming to America through the years based upon a desire to have freedom of religion as well as other freedoms. I fail to see why this group of Christians feel that they have already had Religious Freedom, just as all Americans do...as promised and protected by the Constitution.

Could it mean that what is actually being said is that conservatives are prejudiced against anybody who does not support their stated conservative values? We have watched as Donald Trump incited prejudice, hate and violence against anybody and everybody that opposed him...while treating the Evangelical group as special? Is that what this is really about? I will stop and just say that this book will not provide an answer. 

What I do know, having seen what happened personally, heard the foul words and misinformation from Donald Trump, is that the Holy Trinity--God, the Father, Christ, the Son, and the Holy Spirit that lives within me KNOWS that did not support or condone the actions of this man.  Dr. Brown, et.al., refers to a little known Biblical story when God used a little known man in the Bible to do something that was apparently wanted by God. I will quickly say that I believe that people can be chosen to act on His behalf. Indeed, I was involved in, what many would call, a miraculous happening years ago. 

The key difference is that, in my opinion, if republicans and evangelical christians claim that abortion is a sin, then why, or why, does the same group refuse to do anything about REAL MURDERS. Specifically, while some want to say that a child is born at the point of sexual intercourse...then, why and how can this same group refuse to ban guns?!

My personal opinion has not faltered from the first I learned about the pro-choice versus pro-life argument. If Christians really cared--as opposed to using abortion as a political issue--then Christians would be working day and night to stop the murder of already-born children!!! Yet, they do not!

Let's stop there a minute... Freedom means, just that, freedom, right? Democracy means that we have freedom. Even God gave us freedom (our will to decide) Yet, here is one segment of America who wants to have the government restrict that freedom! By stating that they are after--wait for it--Religious Freedom... back to that later...

Moving on to the belief by Evangelical Christians that those who have "chosen" a different sexual orientation must be "controlled" by law, so that, they have no freedom whatsoever. Now, I will quickly point out that some issues need to be addressed and determined. Use of restrooms is one of those items to be considered. Discussion and negotiation does not, however, require that those individuals must lose their freedom to please Evangelical Christians. It has been clear to me, after knowing individuals who call have a different sexual orientation,  that these individuals do not choose to be what they are. Let's face it, why would anybody choose to live a life in which they had been, often, beaten, killed or simply bullied because they had different sexual desires? It has been years since I have evaluated what I did know: God made us in His Image. God has a preordained plan for each of us, though still controlled by our own will. God asks us to love one another not to attempt to change them. If those are not sufficient to ensure that we accept all in His Love, then, merely a final. Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged. We simply do not know God's Mind. Yet, so many attempt to act in hateful ways for those who are different than they are... WWJD - What Would Jesus Do? 

Let's get specific... If you hate somebody so badly that you want to not make a cake for a gay marriage, then that is your problem. As a service business owner, however, it is your responsibility to perform that request or simply to say, sorry I'm not able to do so. It does not make it necessary to have a law preventing those individuals from their basic freedoms...

The United States Bill of Rights - Original First 10

        Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Amendment VII

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

And that brings us back to one final political requirement. Ensure Evangelical Christians Religious Freedom. Frankly, Dr. Brown's continued reference to this was an amazing and confusing statement to explain why he was voting for Trump. Do we not, under the constitution, already have religious freedom? Do only Evangelical Christians not have religious freedom? Or, is it that nobody else other Evangelical Christians have the right to claim religious freedom? Could it be that as America has grown and prospered as a nation, that those with other beliefs wishing to come to our nation increased because of that same need for religious freedom... And, by desiring the same freedom, have resulted in a democracy that is made up of many different religions, all of whom worship their God, but in a different way. Is this not the basis upon which the United States was built--to provide all who seek it with Religious Freedom...

From where I sit, I learned that God asked us to go out and tell people about his son Jesus... That is our mission. 

He also asked us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

God is Love. God Created Us in His Image...

The only difference is based upon the individual people with whom we are now living as Americans. God calls us to Love, Not Hate... 

We are all, each one of God's Children, entitled to Religious Freedom, Freedom to be the People that God made us to be. Freedom to make mistakes and seek His help and support and guidance. Freedom FROM HATE, DISCRIMINATION, PREJUDICE, AND VIOLENCE AGAINST ANY ONE OF US...

I rest my case...In my opinion, I believe the conservative body of Evangelical Christians, together with the Republican Party, has acted against the Laws of the United States as well as the Laws of God: Specifically, those used to discriminate against all of our neighbors, those that are used to prevent the free will of each of us, and those that speak to judge instead of Love.

Note that it is not my intention to specify all that I found to be undefined, stated prejudicially, or lacking in proof or documentation. That is for possible readers to ascertain. The book serves as an excellent documentary of which I found extremely helpful, in knowing exactly why the Evangelical Christian chose, yes, chose to support Donald J. Trump as president.

As stated earlier, I learned about issues that I have not earlier learned about myself. However, I learned nothing that would, in my opinion, justify choosing Mr. Trump to serve as a United States President.

In fact, here's a final quote from Dr. Brown: "As for transforming the culture, that is the role of the church through the many facets of the gospel." You know, I've been an active church participant for well over 50 years. I have also watched how things have changed for the better--and for the worse during those years. Let me just say one thing, I have never seen or heard of any major attempts on the part of these Evangelical Christians" or the Republican Party, who now want to control our culture and our religious freedoms... We have already seen how that will happen: By changing our history classes to support what white supremacists want to have said. We have already seen that having lost Roe/Wade, that major medical situations are being forced on our doctors, parents and single women, all of who have no less rights than any Evangelical Christian! Or Republican! We have more gun murders (of especially children) than any other country in the world. We ourselves ARE those that are using drugs; otherwise, surely our police could ensure they are gone... (And please don't try to say that we need a WALL) Get real! The only reason drug lords come here is because Americans are using them. And IF THAT EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN GROUP HAS DONE ANYTHING TO STOP IT...IT SURELY HAS NOT BEEN ENOUGH!  Human Trafficking increases; while Evangelicals cry for the unborn and ignore the millions who are abused, hungry, assaulted by incest or raped, given access to drugs and alcohol by parents or others... 

I don't know about you, but having been governed by this MAGA group, I'd like to know exactly what in the world has happened to those who claim to be "christian..." Because Donald Trump Should Never Have Ever Been Supported Politically and I hold the Evangelical Christian group responsible. God Bless the people in America who are now working hard to ensure that the corruption of this group can do no further damage to our nation!

God Bless,

GABixler

I'm now reading I Judge No One: A Political Life of Jesus. So far, I'm finding it both informative and interesting. Want to check out other books about God? Use keywords God, God Incident, Jesus, Agnostic, Christian, Atheist, memoir, to search for books on Book Readers Heaven. 

One thing I've always lived by: God has his own timetable and really doesn't need us to make his decisions for Him. I learned that especially when I read The Late Great Planet Earth back in the 80s I think it was. The author was sure that the second coming was soon and even gave a date. The date passed... as have many others. Then I was reminded when, after I was Baptized with the Holy Spirit, I was told that gifts of the spirit weren't being given these days... Who knew? Especially when He'd already visited with me and shared His Great Encompassing Warmth and Love... And now, right now, He wants us to trust in Him, His Love. Abandon feelings incited of hate, prejudice, anger, violence, and recognize that this has all been disinformation by those seeking political power. Be Alert. Be Careful. Be Aware that even The Supreme Court has come under suspicion of corruption... Do your own research. Read books, but read books from different sides of the issue. Form Your Own Opinion. God Has Given Us Free Will! He has given us His Love. He will Guide you; lean on Him not on Those who do not speak Truth. God's Truth. Listen to News. Sure it may be slanted...but if you're not sure, do some online research and listen to those talking about what is happening right now. I recommend Frank Shaeffer. His inside involvement with the Evangelical Christian group has been a good counterbalance for me, as has been books written by those personally involved in politics during the last 6 years. One think I recommend... find Dino or other Christian videos and listen to them. Allow the calmness to bring you peace and then listen. You just might feel The Holy Spirit pulling you in the right direction for what you need to know... He is The Great I Am. and God Loves us Just as we Are... And, Know that Jesus says I Judge No One. So, why should we?

With Continued Incitement of Lies and Violence, Republican Party Continues to Provokes and "Use" Americans to Gain Power

 

Each morning as I awake, I start thinking about writing about the wonderful books I've been reading, only to turn on the News and Learn of Still Anothr Mass Shooting!

Have you noticed that many television stations are pulling out specific past programs to highlight what is now happening in America... All over America, there are people striving to stop what has and is happening to America... Many writers are also using topics that are on the nightly news in one way or another, again, normally to show the "good over evil" theme... For surely, there is indeed a fight between good and evil... and right now, evil is winning... In my opinion, because they are allowed to, for whatever reason... And, it appears that, also my opinion, most of this incitement is coming from the republican party...

Take for instance, the Law and Order program last night. (The third video aboves highlights the theme.) Freedom of Speech Versus Use of Speech to Incite Hate and Violence. Let me just say that the man who incited hate and violence in white boys, was found guilty!!!

Yet republicans continues  to incite... Mike Pompeo chose to name One Woman the most dangerous person in the world... Is this garbage dissemination for real? 

Former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo speaks during a Republican Jewish Coalition Annual Leadership Meeting in Las Vegas on November 18, 2022.

Weingarten pushed back hard on Twitter. “I know that Mike Pompeo is running for president, and frankly, I don’t know whether to characterize his characterization ... as ridiculous or dangerous,” she wrote.

Weingarten accused Pompeo of defending “the Middle East’s tyrants,” “undermining Ukraine,” and kowtowing to Trump instead of “fighting 4 freedom.”

“So Mike, let me make it easy for you,” Weingarten continued in her Twitter thread. “We fight for freedom, democracy, and an economy that works for all. We fight for what kids & communities need. Strong public schools that are safe and welcoming, where kids learn how to think & work with others. That’s the American Dream!” (Click to read the rest of the news story...

Of course, all those running for office, or those who are now in congress or will be coming on board in January...are telling lies and spreading and inciting disinformation...

It is quite easy, therefore, to immediately tie all of the recent mass shootings to the republican party as well. Why? Well, we all know that answer don't we? But, just to clarify...I'm sharing what happens when the republicans refuse to stop assault guns used to murder in large numbers 

 Mass Murder at Walmart last night

Mass Murder at Community social club November 21

Mass Murder on college campuses days ago...

And it's extremely hard for me, especially, to see that supposed Christians have supported all of this such as January 6th!

The thing is, most of us are so confused because of the lies and disinformation, that we cannot know WHO TO BELIEVE! When I was told that if I was a Christian, I had to vote for republicans... Then, I've sat watching all the incitement of hate, prejudice, and so many lies... One thing I cling to is that God Is Love. Surely, He does not expect us to believe those who claim being a christian when at the same time, we see that republicans have for many years refused to do just one thing: Ban the military style guns which have and are being used to murder innocents, including our children... I find only one solace, I see those speaking out, those voting out extremists who claim to be christian, but talk of war, hate...instead of loving our neighbors...

I have NO choice. I must believe those who seek to eliminate the hate, the violence... Can we justify to ourselves, our God, doing something differently?

Bottom Line for me, though is this: Where were the Christians' outrage when ball games began to be played on our supposed Sabbath, and so many watch or play and even left church early (where I attended) to get to games! 

Or consider that Christians have made no public concern about the fact that TV and Movie, and Game stars pull in more of an audience than do church leaders...

Or consider that many Christians have allowed and made Santa Claus and the Bunny Rabbit more important on two of the most important Christian celebrations...allowing their children to see just how much parents supposedly follow Christ our Savior...

Or consider that sexual abuse, human trafficking of children and teens, especially, and drugs are part of many lives of those who claim to be Christians... No wonder young people are having more and more problems with mental issues, given the hypocrisy seen... while their parents scream and even kill for changing laws on abortion, while supporting political leaders who "approve" of incest, rape, and lack of medical care for women... How could we possibly expect Americans to believe that we should be a "Christian" nation?!

God Bless

Gabbie

 

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson - Talking About A Banned Book with Velshi and Author

A COMMENT ABOUT CENSORSHIP - By the Author - These are scary days in which to raise teenagers. I know. I’ve had four of them. Part of the problem is that we have a generation that has been exposed to unprecedented amounts of sexual behavior in the media and on the Internet. They see it, they talk about it, their hormones react, and a lot of kids wind up in painful situations.

Literature is the safe and traditional vehicle through which we learn about the world and pass on values from one generation to the next. Books save lives. Contemporary young adult literature surprises some people, because it is an accurate reflection of the way today’s teenagers talk, think, and behave. But these books must be honest in order to connect to the teen reader. America’s teens are desperate for responsible, trustworthy adults to create situations in which they can discuss the issues that are of the highest concern for them. Reading and discussing books is one of the most effective ways to get teens to think through and learn about the challenges of adolescence. Most of the censorship I see is fear-driven. I respect that. The world is a very scary place. It is a terrifying place in which to raise children, and in particular, teenagers. It is human nature to nurture and protect children as they grow into adulthood. But censoring books that deal with difficult, adolescent issues does not protect anybody. Quite the opposite. It leaves kids in darkness and makes them vulnerable. Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance. Our children cannot afford to have the truth of the world withheld from them. They need us to be brave enough to give them great books so they can learn how to grow up into the men and women we want them to be.--Included in the book, Speak (along with discussion guide, sexual assault survivor kit resources.

U.S. Department of Justice, 44 percent of rape victims are under the age of 18 and 46 percent of those victims are between the ages of 12–15. It makes adults uncomfortable to acknowledge this, but our inability to speak clearly and openly about sexual issues endangers our children. It is immoral not to discuss this with them.

Whenever I get a chance, I watch Velshi's Banned Book Club, hosted on MSNBC. This morning it discussed The Lord of the Flies, but I was more interested and had bought the last book discussed which was Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. The book was originally published in 2011, has sold over 2.5M copies, has received awards, made into a movie, and has now been featured in The Philadelphia Citizen. An interesting interview should be heard first, as the author laments that her book(s) continue to be viewed as worthy of being...banned...

Laurie Halse Anderson’s YA novel Speak poignantly explores the immediate aftermath and emotional repercussions of sexual assault, along with the concept of consent. It is among the first young adult works to explore this reality. Speak has appeared on the American Library Association’s “Top 100 Most Banned and Challenged Books” since its publication in 1999 — climbing higher on the list each year. Read on at

As I've mentioned before, the right of choice, for me, is always immediately associated with rape/incest... Thus the actions of the Supreme Court, whose members are now controlled by the far-right republicans, as well as republican leaders all over the United States are quickly now being responded to by action by women and men all over the country, who are working to ensure these rights that were arbitrarily lost by, we all know, purely by political actions, are to be reinstated.

Statements like, "Don't Say Gay," are similar in intent to incite fear and/or anger, just as much as those who are presently running for congress who claim that they will force abortion to be banned across the nation. And, further, and most important, that they will make no exceptions! Not for the mother's life, not for rape...and not for incest! Even the elimination of birth control is being discussed... 

I am a Christian; I do not condone abortion as a means of birth control, which many often claim is the "primary" way abortion is being used. However, I very much believe that child birth is known to be a dangerous situation, and I believe that the health care before, during, and after birth is a period during which many choices might need to be made, for valid, personal reasons. To return to a point where we no longer can feel secure in proper and effective medical care during pregnancies is totally unacceptable... and, to show a parallel of its importance.  Consider the Afghan women who are now being forced to wear the full-body clothing, as well as having loss of loss of their rights to education! Forced upon them by tyrannical, domineering men!

It appears that Trump has ultimately incited...and indeed allowed misogyny to break free to those men who do not feel a need to have a "partner" in their relationships. Rather, they prefer to be the dominating individual in any relationship. This certainly is not based upon God's love, yet it is being puched down our throats by those republicans now in office who have started what is being considered a catastrophe by the majority of women...and many men... in our country.

CODE BREAKING 

Hairwoman has been buying new earrings. One pair hangs all the way down to her shoulders. Another has bells in them like the pair Heather gave me at Christmas. I guess I can’t wear mine anymore. There should be a law. 

It’s Nathaniel Hawthorne Month in English. Poor Nathaniel. Does he know what they’ve done to him? We are reading The Scarlet Letter one sentence at a time, tearing it up and chewing on its bones.

It’s all about SYMBOLISM, says Hairwoman. Every word chosen by Nathaniel, every comma, every paragraph break—these were all done on purpose. To get a decent grade in her class, we have to figure out what he was really trying to say. Why couldn’t he just say what he meant? Would they pin scarlet letters on his chest? B for blunt, S for straightforward? I can’t whine too much. Some of it is fun. It’s like a code, breaking into his head and finding the key to his secrets. 

Like the whole guilt thing. Of course you know the minister feels guilty and Hester feels guilty, but Nathaniel wants us to know this is a big deal. If he kept repeating, “She felt guilty, she felt guilty, she felt guilty,” it would be a boring book and no one would buy it. So he planted SYMBOLS, like the weather, and the whole light and dark thing, to show us how poor Hester feels. I wonder if Hester tried to say no. She’s kind of quiet. We would get along. I can see us, living in the woods, her wearing that A, me with an S maybe, S for silent, for stupid, for scared. S for silly. For shame. So the code-breaking part was fun for the first lesson, but a little of it goes a long way. 

Hairwoman is hammering it to death. Hairwoman: “The description of the house with bits of glass embedded in the walls—what does it mean?” Utter silence from the class. A fly left over from fall buzzes against the cold window. A locker slams in the hall. Hairwoman answers her own question. “Think of what that would look like, a wall with glass embedded in it. It would … reflect? Sparkle? Shine on sunny days  maybe. Come on, people, I shouldn’t have to do this by myself. Glass in the wall. We use that on top of prison walls nowadays. Hawthorne is showing us that the house is a prison, or a dangerous place maybe. It is hurtful. Now, I asked you to find some examples of the use of color. Who can list a few pages where color is described?” 

The fly buzzes a farewell buzz and dies.

~~~

Note from Gabby: If I had Hairwoman for a teacher, 

I'd be saying the same as Melinda! Boooring...

Melinda is the main character of Speak. The book is written somewhat like a diary--as if, she writes there only when she has something important to say... Such as when her English teacher forces the entire class to explore, analyze, and discuss the selected book for this year,.. and determines that it should be read and digested...one sentence at a time... Can you even imagine this? No wonder Melinda had flashes of being a good student...and then, just ignoring the whole class topic scene...

Of course, after she was raped, at age 13, and didn't tell anybody, she had a lot to think about besides school, parents, and friends. Like, how she really hated the fact that she didn't scream and get him off of her... how she didn't know how to share this, after, when she came back to the beach party, crying, her best friend slapped her in the face for calling the cops... And, especially, just how did she think she could ever tell her parents, especially since they didn't know she had been at a party, drank enough beer to be considered drunk, and that, at first, thought it was cool that a senior thought her cute enough to ask her to go for a walk with him... And that, when he asked, she didn't realize what he was asking and by the time she did and started speaking, that he held his hand over her mouth and proceeded...

Melinda decided that, since she didn't immediately speak to the police and parents, that she just wouldn't say anything...And she began to not "speak" any more than she had to. Her parents at one point even took her to a doctor, with whom she wouldn't speak, of course. Little by little she began to return to her usual activities, most of the time being alone. She even had discovered a rarely used closet at school, where she smuggled in a blanket and had several books and pictures, one of Maya Angelou (which the librarian had to take down, because one of her books was being banned), and others which she was creating herself in the one class, Art, for which she had some personal connection. Fortunately the teacher was empathetic and chose to spend a little more time in clarifying what the meaning of art could mean to her personally.

But then, her supposed friend--the one that had slapped her on the night of her rape and had spoiled the party calling the cops, began to date the senior who had raped her... She felt she had to tell her, but could she?

Since Anderson has written the books, thousands of teens have contacted her sharing how much her book meant to her. She was gratified that it included boys, and so she wrote a book, Twisted, hoping she could have sufficient knowledge and empathy to have it respond to boys needs... Apparently it has... Yet many continue to call for a banning of her books!

I found myself reliving my early "me too" situations--ones that I've never shared. Thankfully, none led to rape, but, even so, they were of incestuous actions which were traumatic in a different way from that of a rape by a stranger, I think, but just as destructive of a young girl's ability to...trust...

If I had a daughter, I would make an effort to share with her. As the author clearly states, it is immoral not to...

Too bad, many men do not see anything wrong with rape, including incest... If they only knew--and took the time to learn about their potential girlfriends before they even think about having sex...  One of the results would have been that a court case would never had been needed to determine that a girl/ woman always must have complete control of her own body.

Make sure you get the latest edition of this book, including the additional supporting materials... Get it for yourself...and then another copy for any young teen that you love and have enough concern about her future to initiate a discussion on this very important subject...