Open Memoir: Emotionally Damaged - I Believe in Evil But--Is it The D....?

 

This is meant to be satiric...I thought I'd better say that up front today--yes, I guess it is today even though, once again, I got up in the middle of the night... You know, folks, I wouldn't say that I've spent a lot of time expanding my vocabulary, because, simply, I want to know what each word means when I use it... I call myself a literalist... Actually, I didn't even know that word was "real" before I checked... What I meant when I made myself a literalist was that I take words in a literal fashion...

As I mentioned earlier, I had decided to read the latest book from Lin Wilder--a writer I much admire. So, when in the front of the book, I read this:

Writing Plausible Liars has reintroduced me to the inescapable fact that delving deep into what we know is unnatural and indefensible forces a plunge into the problem of evil. What is it? Why does it exist? Then we must look at it and name it.

Evil - It even sounds "bad." And, placing a D in front of the word, well, that zoomed me back to Sunday School, maybe around 7 or 8--old enough to think about things, but too young to really know for sure...

There was a song that we children would sing--"Let the Sunshine In..." I got to thinking about the words to that song... I decided then and have never changed my decision, that questioned: Why in the world if the D was so bad, would you sing about him? I decided then and there that I would never even want to even say the word! And I don't!

Something happened yesterday. I think I'll write about it separately... But I found myself asking "Again?" Why? Is the world really going downhill so much--from an educational/training basis that our culture is, indeed, being dumbed down? Of course, I didn't say those words, even in my mind, but I had to "find" the right words to share my story. OK? Anyway, given that my disability came about from Job Burnout, I was finding it more and more difficult, even fearful, that I could be pushed into rage so easily--and often--when something "inefficient" happened... And it seemed to be happening more often...

And, then, just as the children's song had come to me, so, too, a voice from the past came with "You can tell if you're working for God, if the D has taken notice..."

Ok, you can laugh at that, 'cause I at least smiled... Was that D watching all that I'm trying to do in my reading certain books and sharing them? And then, folks, I grinned broadly and the tension eased from earlier... And my mind pulled up the time I became a whistleblower for the good of the university, even though it could have led to what happened later... In any event, for the first time in my life, I was able to recognize that I needed to go back and start reading Lin's book again and pay attention... I didn't want to have my mind cluttered or confused... for it's an important book, I believe, about our children...

But beyond that decision, I also started looking perhaps differently about what is happening in America and "how" and "why" it is being done. In my opinion, honestly, I don't think we can use Mr. D as the reason. I believe that each of us chooses to be who we are... Or, if we didn't choose, we were influenced by early events in interactions with others. I knew this to be true for me; and what I've read so far in Plausible Liars, I could see where this was also playing a part in Lin's book... Although I would admit I do accept that there are supernatural elements in  this world, even if I don't want to name one of them...

I've included two political videos that, in my opinion, supports my opinions. In Mary Trump's first book, she provided background information on the Trump family and, specifically, Trump's father. It appears that early on the family began to "use" government funds in any way possible to gain income... Could this have been a lead-in to where he is now? Certainly, money appears to have been the god of their lives... 

Then the other for Fox News which has a longer reputation, but is illustrative of those agencies who chose to support conservative "issues" because of, shall we use the word fanaticism, at least for some people, in their learned beliefs and those people wanted to watch programs that supported what they believed... Maybe not simple to imagine, but we must know that money and power, as well as prejudice are often chosen in making daily decisions--bad or good.

I remember when I was young, I had a friend who lived nearby and later married who I learned was in the KKK. I remembered my friend as being gentle and kind...Had her husband changed her by his racist actions? But that was a time when nobody really talked about it and, therefore, it was gossip and we had no idea whether the people were actually acting on that prejudice. Still, the memory lingers as I began to meet when I traveled by bus to another town for school in 7th grade and made my first Black friend and a Catholic girl. Those were the days of Archie Bunker and Movin' on Up shouted out that we were a nation where Black people were our neighbors... Marian, Carolyn and I remained close friend through graduation from high school... 

Now I look back and can realize that even though there was talk or reference to discrimination; i.e., "don't date a Catholic boy..." I didn't pay attention to the innuendos...  I would live my life in this same way, meeting each person on a level field and treating them with respect and courtesy, even when personally I felt an aversion... And when did that happen? Well, mostly when rudeness, disrespect and downright nastiness took place...

For when, as a child I had song the song, Into My Heart, I took it literally and believed He was now a part of me... (long before I had experienced the Baptism of the Holy Spirit) And, during those long nights deep into depression, when I tossed and turned, I would sing those songs I had learned as a child--His child until I fell asleep... This, then, perhaps, is a beginning of true healing for me... I don't know what that means, even as I write it, but I can feel, and know...

Watch for God & Country - I believe it May be a Film We all Need to see...

Jesus Loves His Children

Gabby

Douglas Clegg's Horror Novels So Good I Won't Be Reading Them...

Cover of Nightmare House
I love this original cover for this book! It certainly better defines the story--and what a story!

Stet Fortuna Domus.
It was the carving above the keystone of the house: May the House’s Fortune Stand. 
The old man stole that phrase from another Harrow, but it fit this place. At least it fit his wishes for his Harrow. 
A telling moment: when I was six years old and on one of my infrequent but wonderful stays at my grandfather’s estate, he told me that there were three things to watch for in the world. While I could not—ten minutes later—remember a single one, what I remember now is the warmth of his hand, the musty smell of the ill-fitting suit that must’ve lived most of the year within a mothballed closet, and the way he could not stop looking at me as if I were the most important child in the world even with my lies and games and pouts and stolen gingerbread men from the kitchen. 
It was the only time I felt this in my childhood. I never forgot that moment. Even now, I can’t judge him beyond knowing that my grandfather loved me and wanted all of this for me. 
It was the house—and what it held. 
I would never call a work of architecture evil; nor would I suggest that a house could be anything but a benign presence. It is always the human element that corrodes the stones and the wood and the brick and the foundation. It is the human heart that bends the floors and burns the rooms and imbues the structure with the spirit of error and false remembrance. 
                                                             ~~~

Nightmare House 

Book 1 of The Harrow 
 Haunting Series

By Douglas Clegg

Readers, you will probably never read another review like this one... I just finished Book 1 in a series from prolific author Douglas Clegg. It will be the first and last novel I read by an excellent Horror writer... I used to enjoy that genre when I was young. Now, I can recognize that his work rivals Stephen King's, who I also no longer read...LOL In fact, check out the excerpt above, his writing is quite wonderfully sinister, isn't it?

Clegg's older books came out on Kindle and that's how I was enticed...I always love the titles and succumb to temptation. But now I know--Clegg writes too well; his work is too realistic, too memorable...However, if you are still an avid horror fan, I will quickly highly recommend this series and his other books. Yes, I can tell by just one book that others will be just as good or better. In fact, I'd like to know what happens in this series--but I don't want to actually read them to find out! I know that makes sense, right?!

“Look!” Alf cried out, his voice echoing in
 the chamber, while he stumbled into a dark corner
of the turret room. “Over here, I found something!
 Something big!”
 And that’s when they found the remains of a
 human body in a recessed corner of the room.
 Finding a body came with its own set of problems—
particularly a corpse that had been rotting
 for several years by the look of it
(so saith Maggie, not showing on her face half
the horror that Ethan felt must have been on his).
 Maggie pulled Alf back, completely against his will,
 practically lifting him by the elbows.
 Ethan convinced Maggie—who then went
 to look at the corpse with better lamplight—
that they should all just go downstairs and telephone
 for the police like sane people. 
Alf proclaimed his hunger halfway down
 the banister to the first floor; Maggie made
 some grumblings about a woman’s work
 never being done; Ethan volunteered to make
sandwiches but Maggie pushed him away,
told him to
“make your blasted call to the coppers,”
and so, another remarkable evening in
Harrow began.~~~

I've always loved Gothic and this book reeks of it! Nightmare House is not the corny ghost story, although there are ghosts--untold numbers of ghosts!

And the house is more castle and has secret rooms,  above and below the main house...Normally such fun for me!

But this house really is evil...

I'm not sure that the total reason has come out in this first in series, but this is what I know. The entire structure was brought stone by stone from somewhere overseas...

There were also stolen artifacts brought to create an area as close to Egyptian tombs as possible...

In addition, the man who built the structure brought in psychics, mediums and other evil people such as Lizzie Borden, to have seances and who knows what other evil things...

Ethan had just inherited everything from his grandfather and had immediately come to Harrow House. He remembered happy times and warm love from him when he had visited in his younger years, even though his father and mother had been estranged from his grandfather. In fact, Ethan, himself, had never gotten along with his father, so wasn't surprised that Harrow House had come to him.

Only two servants were still there when Ethan came. Wentworth was the housekeeper and it appeared that she had expected some part of the inheritance but was congenial for the most part. Maggie--he had seen her first on the property and instantly knew that he loved her...

And it was with Maggie and her son Alfred that they first visited the Turret Room. Ethan had noticed that the window he had once enjoyed seeing his Grandfather from, was now bricked over. When Maggie didn't have the key, she showed him how to open the door with a ladies' hat pin!

But when the inner door was also locked and boarded, he had to get a pickax .. Once that was broken through, there was now a wall of bricks! They also broke through that!

Alf was the one that saw something in a far corner, that turned out to be a body...Maggie examined the clothes, etc., and proclaimed that she was a fairly young woman...

Shall we just say that, at that point, all hell broke loose!?!

The suspense of what they find, the description of being invaded, been possessed, was tantalizingly creepy! Fortunately, I was reading during the day because this was the type of story when, just at the truly terrifying parts, written so simplistically and straight-forward, that you do not want to try to sleep immediately afterward!

Who is the woman? Why was she locked away? We do learn that her name is Matilde...

And Matilde now IS Harrow House... Come visit if you dare, but don't expect to leave alive... unless you are escorted immediately to...an asylum...

Best horror novel I've read in a very long time... If you happen to have read the series, let me know what happens at the end...to save my curiosity that is no longer working when true horror comes into the picture! LOL Enjoyment for those brave enough...


GABixlerReviews

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Here's my current bio:

When Douglas Clegg was ten years old, he stood on the steps of the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacan, Mexico and vowed he would be a writer and travel the world. At sixteen, he stood within the arched doorways of the Alhambra in Spain after reading Lorca; at 21, he got lost in London, generally in the vicinity of Piccadilly Circus, living out every frame of Hogarth's The Rake's Progress in a condensed span of time; at the age of 23 he strayed along the boulevards of Paris with a yellow pad scribbling out a terrible novel that he destroyed soon after; but it wasn't until he was 27 -- in a lilliputian apartment in Hollywood, California -- that he sat down to write his first novel with any degree of conviction.

Clegg is the award-winning author of Neverland and Isis, among many other novels. He lives with his husband of more than 23 years in a house called Villa Diodati. Included in and around that household is a menagerie of animals, including cat, dog, mouse, rabbit and possibly more than 35 goldfish. He has written many books and more short stories. Recently, he wrote a new introduction for Mary Shelley's Frankenstein for the Signet Classics edition. He invites readers to subscribe to his email newsletter at http://DouglasClegg.com to keep up-to-date with his current and upcoming books in both print and ebook.

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Christine Dougherty Presents Astounding Free Will Drama!

Cover of God Told Me To
"Carrie looked.
"It was red faced, ugly, its head smooshed on one side, white hair covering its forehead and shoulders, a blister on its puckered asshole of a mouth, tiny veins visible under its thin, pale skin and Carrie had been
horrified.
"Ugh, what's wrong with it? Get
it away from me!"
~~~

The Devil Stood Up


By Christine Dougherty


While I was without a Kindle, I received requests that I couldn't deal with--this was one of them. Interestingly, I had recently received another request from a writer who had the big D as a primary character and I chose not to read it. This one has been out a year, so, still catching up with e-books, I read this novel...

Wow! I am so thankful I did! I use the word "astounding" to explain my "wonder" and amazement of this story. Christine Dougherty has blasted us--all we who are human, LOL--with blunt reality and points the finger right back at us! WE have free will... So don't hide behind that old mantra, "the devil made me do it..." or even  (in my words), "God told me to..." Interestingly, this phrase brought up a book reference! For those who claim this, including suicide bombers, the criminally insane, and even other religious fanatics, Dougherty throws back...YOU decided, YOU are the one with free will...

Brave young writer, isn't she?!!!

Whether you believe in God, the Devil, or not, Dougherty looks into our eyes and tells us, we are the ones who choose to do right or wrong... I loved her message!

"The Devil rolled over, swiping a knotted forearm
across his dripping brow. Half asleep, struggling,
uncomfortable, The Litany of the evils of the
world slipped through his unconsciousness like
fine wisps of acrid smoke, intertwining, interweaving,
noxious, and necessary.
"This is how he thought of the million threads of
evil that bound his mind, they were: The Litany.
"The evil of the world spiked sharply, spoiling his
sleep, but he could not stop it any more than he
could have stopped time or stopped the evil itself.
He rolled, almost coming awake, flirting with full
consciousness, and then settled as the streaming
evil flatlined, becoming bearable again.
"This body, even, was uncomfortable: difficult to
position with grace and never entirely at rest, not
really. He'd never gotten used to it, never become
accustomed to losing grace. The weight, the stink
and yes, even the sight of it was unbearable,
because in Heaven, there'd been no ugliness, no
stink, no uncomfortable body, only awareness
and beauty.
"The Devil had never been a human, but knew
them well enough by now to this that this must
be what if felt like, to be in a body. Heavy.
Tethered. Stinking...
"...He punished one no harder than the others.
His place was not that of judgment. Only to
punish and punish and punish, until God
Himself saw fit to take this job from him, and
lift him back, weightless, bodyless to heaven
and to grace..."
~~~

Now, at first, I wasn't totally willing to accept the story line. As I thought about it, however, Lucifer was an angel at first, but he sinned, according to historical accounts. He thought he was above God...

But did that mean he would always be in direct opposition to God's will? While you explore that thought, let me tell you just a little about this exciting drama...

I've never been able to say the name without cringing, so I'm going to just say The D... OK? Anyway, the D calls it a litany--each and every day, every single thing that WE decide to do that we know (or don't know) is wrong, falls on him...I'll let you read the description but essentially he's lying down, bloodied, horribly affected by each and every sin/wrong that humans commit!

If some of you say, Cool!, you need to read this book...sure, it's a horror novel in description and tone, but, believe me, there's lots more going on in this drama and a message that will force each of us to take notice and acknowledge, yes, acknowledge that all that we do is through Free Will...

But, one day, something horrible happens and the D has reached his boiling point, literally. He painfully forces himself from underneath all of the piles of hateful emotions and screams! Not This Time!

The majority of us are selfish people, at least sometimes--we choose what we do every second, every minute...so when a your man who had chosen to become a drug addict chose to commit suicide, the D was there to step into his body!

But that young man had a sister. And she had been there when he jumped...

And also saw him, get up, brush himself off, and walk away!

She followed the Devil...

Carrie Walsh is the human who brought the Devil...and her lawyer who got her off for killing her child. Sound like something out of our headlines? You bet! One excerpt I read said this book looked at good and evil... Indeed I've said that often myself in reviews...

But this book, I think, really should be taken much more personally... I've always used "Know Thyself" to consider what I do in life. My opinion is that Dougherty is saying the same thing. We all have the potential for good or evil inside of us...you know, those seven deadly sins that one movie covered...or all the other small things we choose to do that, really, normally evolve around selfishness, self-centeredness, pride, fear and doubt, etc... 

While I might have spent time getting to know myself, still I was confronted! But this wasn't horror or hard for me to do. And, if you have never really tried to look at yourself objectively, I suggest you begin... This book may just be the one to help you as you decide whether to choose drugs, alcoholic or other substances that give some type of escape... Drug cartels choose to sell because millions all over the world choose to buy. Their reason is simple--greed.  A suicide bomber is "influenced" to kill himself because of the story there are "virgins" waiting... Get real! When I choose a doughnut, it was my choice, not the D... No difference!

This book needs to be read by all. Do you dare to find out that you can't blame...the Devil...Yes, A Must-Read recommendation from me.

GABixlerReviews

Christine Dougherty lives in South Jersey with her husband, dog and two cats. Visit her online at: www.christinedoughertybooks.com

Follow her blog: http://whatchriswrites.blogspot.com/

Review: The Object of Evil by Chris Duryea

The Object of Evil

By Chris Duryea



New Moon Publishing
ISBN: 1450585531
695 Pages

 
 
 
 
Working at any company where the boss is constantly abusive sometimes results in job burnout--sometimes even a desire for payback. What happens if that good employee opens his mind and heart to retribution? Do those thoughts allow something else to enter? Can evil itself take advantage of a situation where an individual just can't take it anymore?

Chris Duryea presents readers with an in-depth look into these questions in her novel The Object of Evil. Will you, the reader, be able to answer the question of whether evil exists as an entity or whether it is merely the will of each individual as they choose each action?

Daryl Tempest is a vice-president and manager of operations at a lumber yard located close to the Mexican border to serve both customers in the U.S. as well as Mexico. While physically located far away from the home office, Simon Snath, the company's owner and president, is constantly checking in with Daryl by phone, even waking him at night, without any concern for Daryl's personal life. He wants to know where Daryl is, why he didn't immediately return his calls, if he was out, and wants immediate, complete action as he directs, even if what he demands is not part of his operation...
Especially when he asks Daryl to cover for him and lie to his wife when Simon is out somewhere with one of his women...

Daryl has a great crew working for him--they enjoy each other, but work hard to keep things going, except for one man, Freddie, who really should have been fired long ago. There's always at least one of those in every office, right? Somehow they find a way to get the ear of the boss's boss and begin to use it...

Because of the economy, sales of lumber have been greatly reduced. But Snath doesn't accept that as an issue and continues to demand sales. He also forces bad equipment and older lumber from his own mill into Daryl's operation, taking no excuses for not dealing with whatever he decides! Daryl had once liked Simon; however, when he moved into this job and reported directly to Simon, things started changing and Daryl was becoming more and more frustrated, Somebody who wants to do a good job will always become irritated and angry when they are doomed to fail by something or someone over which the individual has no control or power...

It was after a weekend trip that Daryl and Sharon, his lover, took to Mexico that it really started. There in Mexico, Daryl was drawn into a tiny shop where there were beautifully crafted masks and he chose one and brought it into his home. Little things started to happen, like his dog hiding, scared in his bedroom when he came home. And that mask seemed to glow at certain times. It also seemed that somebody was in his home or someone running away could be heard. And then Daryl started to get phone calls, Sometimes his name was Leo, sometimes Vincent. He always sounded like Simon if somebody else answered the phone, so everytime he called, anybody else assumed he was talking to his boss...

Daryl was told that he was going to be helped to handle things... Freddie was the first to die, then his wife...

Chris Duryea goes into the nitty-gritty in telling her story, The Object of Evil. Watch as Daryl becomes more and more angry as he finds he's being set up and then acts, even if it means losing his job. But the question to be answered, does he have help?

Book Received
From the Author

G. A. Bixler

Review: Spotlighted Reviewer Bettie Corbin Tucker Presents Beau!

Beau


Lorraine Agnew
www.lorraineagnew.com
ISBN: 1450554970
240 Pages









After reading Beau, a book of fiction by Lorraine Agnew, readers will find themselves thinking much more about life after death. Once our time on earth has expired, what can we expect? And what about guardian angels, do they really exist? Many individuals may think back to a time when they sensed an unseen presence near them, or perhaps they heard a voice whispering softly in their ears, offering personal advice and guidance. Sometimes they listened; other times they didn’t. If they didn’t, there may have been consequences to face.

Catherine Amelia Kramer, a young attractive woman, died three times before crossing over to the Realm of Spirit. Once was a suicide attempt, the second involved an automobile accident, and the third time she was taking part in a rescue effort. Beau, her youthful guardian angel had sparking blue eyes and was immersed in a beautiful white light. He wore a long white coat and a western-styled duster, while straddled atop a great white stallion. But this guardian angel, who had been killed in a rodeo accident, took his ego with him when he “crossed over.” He believed that his untimely death wasn’t fair; however, he was Catherine’s personal guardian angel who was supposed to escort her into the Realm of Spirit after she died. But, because of his ego, he had failed two times and Catherine was brought back to life, even though she wasn’t altogether convinced that this is what she wanted. The third time she cheated death, it wasn’t because of Beau. After first seeing her guardian angel, she would sense his presence when she needed comfort. In the middle of the night, she imagined that he was holding her hand. She trusted Beau, but that proved to be a mistake!

Beau was angry that, under his guardianship, he had lost Catherine twice. From that time on, he began acting like a jealous lover and resorted to doing evil things, hoping to make her so despondent that she would take her own life. His wicked behavior resulted in an enforcement angel being assigned to investigate his actions.

Readers will be introduced, not only to many angels, but also to earthly characters who influence Catherine’s life. Among them are three men whom she loved, her immediate family, close friends—and even a medium. The medium plays an important part in this fast-paced, unfolding drama.

When Beau seeks help from the angry spirit of Adolph Hitler, there are unpredictable and dramatic twists that will keep readers turning the pages with anticipation. Allow the author’s words to take you from the Realm of Matter to the Realm of Spirit and on into the Realm of Light; however, don’t expect to stay long when you visit the dark space.

This book is extremely well-written, the characters are convincing, and the plot is intriguing. I highly recommend Beau as a “must read.”



Bettie Corbin Tucker
For Independent Professional Reviewers