Book Readers Heaven: Open Memoir: A Single Christian Woman: Is Sex...All...That?! Feedback Came Quick - Confusion and Loss of Trust... choice of God Over Family...

Of course, New York has finalized a civil case where Donald Trump has been required to repay New York for criminal transactions on his company's tax activities...

As mentioned, I had become somewhat of a fanatic in watching CNN once the Tape had been released and the talk about Trump's affairs was making headlines. I immediately registered as an Independent because I wanted to vote not on a party line, but based upon credentials... I quickly learned that in Pennsylvania I could not vote in the primary as an Independent.

I had already been sickened by Mr. Trump's personality--making fun of the disabled, talking about women routinely. His disgusting display during the presidential debate with Candidate Clinton was just another nail on the hammer that had already been pounded down again and again.

My sister and I used to have lunch every week, along with grocery shopping or yard sales... I don't remember how the election came up, but I did say that I had registered as an Independent. We were sitting in front of her house, as she was getting ready to get out and turned completely around and said, "If you are a Christian, you must vote Republican."

I remember that I looked at her, saying little, but I did make it known I would not vote for Trump. I remember referring to the "knee" bending issue incited by Trump. She again asked, looking at me, "Do you think I am a racist?" I looked at her and said, "I don't really know..." She quickly pointed out the one Black woman she was friends with... I chose to say nothing... She was head of a food bank, where our church routinely donated each Thanksgiving. They had gotten to be close at some level... I, on the other hand, had a best friends with non-whites beginning at the time I first attended school with multi-racial students...

As many of you will remember this began the divide between republicans and democrats at that early stage. Those who chose to vote democrat saw Donald Trump as a conman, a liar, and most of all, a man who incited hatred and violence... I attested out the waters of my "not" being a republican at a family gathering. I got laughs about the tape from one nephew who said that I should hear what was said in a locker room. I said something like, but he is running for president. He just shrugged...

But, this same topic came up at a funeral! In my opinion, that type of issue should never be brought up in a place of supposed sorrow. Yet, there was my sister agreeing with the wife of a nephew, who I had never even been introduced to...but they were talking loud enough for me and others to hear nearby. They were talking about the disrespect to the flag... Finally, I asked, "Do you know "why" he was kneeling? I got blank stares... It was clear that they didn't know. I doubted that they would car that in was a silent protest against the death of so many black men by police officers... It was clear that their candidate didn't care...so...

And, then, once again, perhaps one of the last lunches I had with my sister, once again something came up. The issue was the Women's March...

My sister made some type of negative reference to the hats they were wearing (related to the "grabbing" tape by Trump). I started laughing, I thought it was funny. She didn't like my laughing and said, "Well, he won."

I quickly said, "not the popular vote! Hilary won!" I kid you not, she was shocked. She and I am sure millions of people in the United States did not note that Hilary Clinton had been the people's choice!

Not Donald Trump!

Soon, it started online. One of the books written by a brilliant and prolific author had been posted in my Reviewers Roundup Group. I believe it was this one. It was by another of my nephew's, my brother's son... My brother was, of course, a Republican. You know what, at that point, I just laughed to myself, deleting his rude remark. I laughed, because this was one of the rather basic books of those that I had already read...

Later, on another of my posts, he again commented, with his sister stating, you know, Dad always loved Nixon... as if, that made it alright to be insulting and rude to their aunt... Not!

As all of these things came flooding to me, I remembered one call I had with my brother, during the time we were both having trouble at work. I listened to him and he helped me explore how to handle what was happening to me. But, I remembered that during one of those phone calls, I said something about something that my sister had told me about him. Quickly he asked where I had heard that? I told it it had come to me through his sister through his daughter. He didn't say anything more about what had been said, but, rather, said, that he would be sure to never share any further personal information with his daughter. It was at that time, he began to call me only when he was alone... I don't know whether it was to keep his family from knowing that he continued talking to me, or whether he just felt more free to talk about what was happening on his job. Because it was obvious that he could not trust anybody in his family who might hear what he said about his situation.

Which leads me to the bottom line issue. At least for me... But I really think, for many, many others in America since Trump's campaign and selection by the electoral college as the president...

And this was greatly compounded by the fact that evangelical christians had made a deal with Trump... and that news head the papers and television! For me, I was devastated... Because, given what had happened, I knew that I would be even more isolated from my family... Yet, there really wasn't any choice for me...

Once I had heard Frank Schaeffer... and started to follow him on Facebook and YouTube, I knew that I had to made a decision--a hard decision--but that had to be done... At that time, I chose God over my Family...

Just to finish out this post, I had another confrontation when abortion once again became a dividing issue related to politics... It was another niece, one I call(ed?) a friend who stared at me and said "surely, you don't support abortion!" I started crying immediately and she, in love, reacted. I told her of my feelings since childhood that I could not understand why so much emphasis could be on something that was not even born yet, while at the same time so many children all over the world are being abused, neglected, raped, sold into human trafficking... At that point, both of us stopped and somehow changed the subject... Both of us obviously had strong feelings. It had to be accepted. Mostly, I think that relationship has been saved...

And then there is my other nephew. He's a good man, but he grew up listening to Rush Limbaugh, and all things conservative and, of course, a republican. You know, back in the 1900s none of these differences met much... we were friends, even though I wished he wouldn't have idolized Limbaugh... But then the deal was made... And we now know that it what has incited are those who are members of KKK, white supremacy, prejudice against non-whites... and using violence as a result... He and I hav gone back and forth, trying to discuss... but when you include politics where I see all that is terrible happening incited by trump, he hears only conservative issues coming from sites he visits, which I've never even heard of... How do you bridge past the tension of confusion, realizing someone's past connections are so embedded that it has become a major part of their lives... Lives of aloneness, distrust, and, perhaps, even fear... How do you explain that what you talk about is based upon research of news across the nation, while his is from his "trusted" sources, such as Fox who all of us know, but maybe he doesn't, that they were sued millions for lying about the last election...

And, I hope, after listening to Frank Shaeffer, having what they used to call a "come to Jesus" moment, has, for the most part fought to highlight exactly what the deal was with Trump: He was asked to move the U.S. facility in Israel...and he was to place as many conservative judges in the courts, based upon a list provided by the Heritage Foundation...and then he could do anything he wanted... They won...but the United States seems to have lost so much...

We know now that was a deal with a Devil that has divided the country into two sections...

Yet, here is the result of that deal...

For many, like me, we have had to choose a political party that we see is acting on behalf of all America...

But, after making that decision, doesn't give you answers, does it?

I believe that I am now living what God's plan is for me at this point in my life. The books that I'm reading are answering questions that have confused and resulted in pain and suffering...

May God continue to Bless This Book Readers Heaven

To Reach Those Individuals who need answers... from those books... and from His Holy Spirit's presence...