Friday, January 26, 2024

Come With Me to Rancho Mirage, CA Where The Heat is High and Murder, Mayhem and Madness Occurs! Presented by Anna Celeste Burke

 

So Posh Even Thugs Wear Armani!

And, supposedly, Irving Berlin wrote White Christmas in the gracious resort with magnificent views of snow-capped mountains in the winter.

I don’t think it has anything to do with God, if there is one, since I’m not too sure about that right now. We’re all just a bunch of imperfect people doing imperfect things. All we can do is pick ourselves up and trudge on. Maybe someday things will make more sense than they do right now.

Jessica dragged herself out of bed, took a quick shower, and dressed in a fresh set of leggings and a t-shirt. When she got to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, she tried not to look at the backyard where the crime scene tape was flapping in the morning breeze. As she was about to sit down and drink her coffee, the doorbell rang. She jumped out of her skin. 

From the back wing, she heard Bernadette holler something about “security company… guard gate called… be there in a minute.” “I’ll get it! You stay put unless you want to meet our new babysitters.” “Of course I do,” Bernadette said, hustling down the hall toward Jessica. Jessica went to the front door and looked through the peephole. A tall man with broad shoulders, stood at the door. He was wearing a polo shirt with the name of the company emblazoned on the shirt and a pair of khakis. Still being cautious, Jessica opened the door with the security chain in place. “Can I see some I.D.?” “Ms. Huntington-Harper, I presume?” “I.D. please.” He reached into a pocket of his khakis and pulled out an identification wallet. He passed it to Jessica who looked at it. The man standing before her matched the picture on the I.D. badge and the name was the same one given to her when she’d called the firm the night before. She breathed a little easier, closed the door to release the security chain, and invited him in. 

Peter March did just that. He marched into the house. His bulky figure almost filled the doorway as he crossed the threshold. “You want coffee?” Bernadette asked as she slid into hostess mode. “That would be great. I understand there’s been trouble.” As he said that, he peered at Jessica’s still blemished face. “Anyone else injured?” he asked. “Brien the pool guy, a friend of ours who went home last night after the latest ruckus,” Jessica said in response to his question. 

“Ruckus, huh? By that do you mean the surreptitious entry into the gated community, breach of your property, and the attempted kidnapping of your house guest?” “Yeah, that’s it. Well, that’s part of the story.” “Tell him about the guy I shot. He’s injured too, in the trasero.” Bernadette pointed to her own behind as she spoke. “You can fill me in a little more, and then I’d like to walk around the house and grounds, if that’s okay with you two. After that I can make a recommendation about how we can best be of service.” As he spoke, he slid the dark glasses he wore to the top of his head. His hair clipped short, was worn almost in a buzz cut. When he raised his hand to move his glasses, Jessica noticed he wore an insignia ring. He caught her looking at it. “Annapolis grad, class of ’82. I served twenty-five years with the Navy before I took on this job, a member of their special forces. Most of our staff members are ex-military or have law enforcement backgrounds. We provide armed response, but avoid the use of more force than necessary. We can talk about what else you can do to make the premises more secure after I do my walk through.” 

“How do you take your coffee Mr. March?” Bernadette asked, smiling sweetly at the massive man trailing after her into the kitchen. Even the hulking Mr. March couldn’t resist St. Bernadette’s enticing smile. He responded with a broad smile that revealed a perfect set of dazzling white teeth. The smile softened the rugged features of his face, etched with years of wear and tear Jessica wasn’t sure she cared to learn more about. He wasn’t an unpleasant man, just daunting. Seeing small scars, one on his jaw and another on his right cheek, Jessica reached up and touch the remnants of the scrape on her face. The area around her eye was no longer tender, but still discolored by faded purple, red, and yellow hues. She felt safer just walking behind the wall of a man. Things would settle down now. They just had to.

~~~

Jessica, the lead character, who had filed for divorce when she caught her husband in their bed with a bimbo, had still not signed the divorce papers; and, indeed, had fallen into depression while she was still carrying them, only getting some relief when she went out and binged shopping at the elite stores of her small community, Rancho Mirage... Or, consider the latest fiasco, when Bernadette woke her up with not only her gay friend but the pool boy in her bed--and Jessica had no idea what they had gotten into! Yeah, she might be rich, but that didn't help much at this point...

She later realized that, only after her best friend, Laura's, husband was murdered and she had been asked to represent his wife, in case she was questioned as the prime suspect, did she begin to move past her depression. On the other hand, her best friend was now drowning in her worries, as they were finding that her husband had been in trouble financially, and it was very possible that she would not only lose her home, but would be in jail if they didn't discover who had murdered her husband...

Quickly, Jessica took charge, once again being able to use her legal experience in helping her friend. Soon, she had pulled together her "cat crew" who would be helping in the investigation. Even Detective Hernandez was willing to share information since she was rich enough to have a dedicated private investigator working on the case, as well as her own pro bono participation...

Who knew that her entire crew would be followed? That became abundantly clear when Jessica was first attacked!

She remembered a favorite quote her mother borrowed from Dorothy Parker and used in response to telephones and doorbells: What fresh hell is this?

And then everybody realized that whoever murdered Laura's husband wasn't going to wait around for any investigation, because the Armenians were involved!

 Even hairline fractures in your soul can shatter under pressure if you don’t work at it—cultivate fortitude and courage—virtues like that.

“Margarit Tilik took a pack out of her purse yesterday and I got a whiff. That reminded me of the odor you described when you first walked into the house Saturday morning. I asked Tommy to pick up a pack so we can check it out. Anyway, Margarit claims that Roger was her driver several days last week, and had been her driver since April. That coincides with the start of those cash payments. Her fiancĂ©, a man named Alan Bedrossian, is the one who hired and paid Roger. Does that name ring a bell either?” “It’s all news to me; the job, the woman, her fiancĂ©, and the little BMW sports car parked outside my house. I’ll bet she’s gorgeous. If she came to the house in that sports car, why does she need a driver?” “Good question. She also works as a courier and translator for Alan Bedrossian. It sounds like he’s the suspicious type and uses the drivers as spies to keep tabs on his sweetheart. Quite the love story, huh?” “Couriers, translators, and spies! Who is Alan Bedrossian? Is he some reclusive billionaire businessman, or a government agent or something?” “Well, not exactly. Now that you mention it, they do kind of remind me of Boris and Natasha, the spies in those old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon shows. He’s a businessman, but not altogether legit. I’m not sure yet how he and Roger hooked up, but Bedrossian’s well-connected to a lot of nasty things. I think he goes to the head of the list as the most unsavory character in the middle of this debacle. His beloved, Margarit, is a close second.” “And Roger’s not too far behind! I just didn’t know the man. Did he change or was I deluded all those years as his wife?” she asked a plaintive tone in her voice.

~~~

I have a hard time placing this book in the cozy mystery genre, even if a number of amateur detectives are part of the crew trying to solve the murder of Laura's husband, Roger, who had been keeping a lot from his wife. Mainly because of the setting! It's hard to feel fear for the main character when she's asked to come to a spa where she will have a scheduled appointment while she learns from a woman who drinks one after another, and slurs her words explaining exactly what had been happening leading up to the murder...

Seriously, folks, you just cannot get too excited when you are enjoying the absurdities of the rich and famous, who, upon learning of a murder, the main character goes out to buy an entire wardrobe for her friend, adding on several items for herself, her housekeeper, and even her friend's sister! And then, in these new clothes, gets attacked, ruining those new clothes so badly that they are immediately thrown away...twice!

On the other, the cat crew that was formed around Jessica revealed a closeness, a concern for each other that only good friends would exhibit. Even the hired PI rapidly is absorbed into the crew, while his boss, upon meeting Jessica, immediately begins to think about adding her to his legal firm now being formed. The characters are each so original that you wonder just how they were conceived--after all, the rich and famous rarely cares or even knows the name of their pool boy, right? But he's right there in the middle, helping to keep everybody safe...

What an escape from reality, isn't it? That's why it is so much fun... But then, readers find little gems of wisdom to ponder, such as the ones included here:

Money, while not the root of all evil, was certainly fertile ground for misguided choices. Her own life of privilege had shown her that.

I think you will enjoy this one and, yes, it has a satisfactory ending that clears everything up! Kudos to the Author, Anna Celeste Burke...


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