A Generation Gone Bye--An Unforgettable Family Drama by Mary Lynn Plaisance Eliciting Many Responses For Me...

 

There are many, many stories about three sisters, one of which would be my own. But when I saw the cover of Mary Lynn Plaisance's latest novel, I really had no idea what would be covered other than that there were three women, wearing hats, and looking, well, like an older generation of just about anybody's family... For me, the above song seemed to complement the story that I actually found. Are there "Hungry Ghosts" living in your family--some now dead, but some, still alive?

For it is the memories that each of us have brought from the past into the future... A lot are good memories. Yet, those that hurt us, confused us, or downright angered us, hang around just like hungry ghosts who haunt us sometimes daily, occasionally, or, perhaps, all the time...

The family drama in A Generation Gone Bye has just six main characters. The three sisters who appears on the cover. And their husbands. For three of those, the ghosts of the past are lived daily--in their trying to help those who were also affected by what happened to them. That is the three husbands. Their secrets have been kept all of their lives, until...now. The Now being the book which, you, just may want to also read.

The other three characters are the three sisters. For the most part, just as when I and my two older sisters attended church, we were referred to as "The three sisters." Although my mother never had asked us for a promise, since she had ensured that all of us attended church every time the door opened, we also attended church, as the three sisters on the front cover did. They all wore hats each Sunday. I have to think that the difference was that we grew up in a protestant church, while the three women in the book grew up in the catholic church.

But one of the women attending the catholic church decided she was not happy there. For one, she hated wearing a hat, and would take it off as soon as she left the building. Second, she found what might be called the ritual of the church--repeating the same bits of prayer or scripture or doctrine each Sunday without cease--as, boring. She decided she didn't want to go any more.

This book set me back, memory-wise, to a time when I had just gone on medical leave, from job burnout. I spent the majority of my time either crying or sleeping. I was also totally withdrawn from the outside. I remember my older sister rapidly saying that I needed to get to church, go to the front to be blessed by holy water... While, at the same time, I had also talked with my pastor. He and his wife came to visit me, immediately came to me and prayed for me. As they talked, I listened, saying little. I do remember saying something like, "they have no right to treat people like they do..." My pastor quickly suggested that I needed to visit my doctor and seek assistance. I remember that I immediately noticed the difference in the two recommendations. One to turn to the church and one to turn to somebody who could help me physically, if possible. Having that happen, allowed me to know that I was able to trust my own feelings that I was beyond the point of "prayer..."

Now I quickly point out that I am not saying that prayer is not a very important part of religious belief. Rather, I am one who believes that God gave the gift of healing to many who are now helping us when our body needs attention...and that is a good and right thing to do and does not detract from God's position in our lives.

So, just as my first difference of opinion on a major thing affected me and my sister's relationship, frankly, from then on. So, too, did the relationship of the two sisters begin to change in the book. And, naturally, because there were three sisters, the other was soon involved in discussions related to how the first sister had changed her feelings about not wanting to attend mass again.

Since it was standard that the three couples would traditionally have Sunday dinner, it was during one of these gatherings that the family members started to share their secrets... And discussions began...

“Audrey, now that she’s calmed down, look in her dresser drawers for two slips. We’re going to shower her with all of us dressed in a slip. It’s better than seeing each other naked.” Charlotte giggled. “She’ll be okay. We’ll take our time. She’ll be okay. Don’t worry.” “I feel good helping her. I’m not worried anymore,” Audrey said as she took one of the pills from the bottle. There was no name on the bottle but she assumed it was the pills Barbara was taking because the word antidepressant was handwritten on the small bottle as Charlotte told her. When they began undressing Barbara in her shower and she saw that they were all wearing slips, she began to cry, openly. “I’ve hurt both of you and Mat terribly. I’m so sorry for the things I told all of you. I’m so sorry.” Charlotte and Audrey cried with her while Charlotte was washing her hair. Barbara was still woozy, but she knew what she was saying. All three of them were soaked. “Everything will be okay,” said Audrey. Charlotte told her that she might not remember what she said. Barbara’s answer in the shower echoed that she did know what she was saying. She was sorry. “We all have done wrong in our lives at one time or another,” Charlotte told Barbara. “Right now you’re showing us that you have a beautiful soul and heart, and that’s all that counts.” They all cried and kind of giggled as they showered Barbara singing a song they remembered playing loud in the car when they were young by Bob Marley. Three Little Birds… Mat and Maggie giggled as they could hear them singing in the shower but they didn’t enter the room.

~~~

But when you open up scars, wounds, often the real truth will come out...

You know, folks, it is not an easy situation to learn of when one or more family members share that they have been abused...and that ultimately it has perhaps affected their entire lives and how they are now living.

Mary Lynn Plaisance has taken a touchy, prevalent subject that has been hidden and supported by covering up the offenses for decades. I remember one of my uncles, a baptist minister, would visit and bring small pamphlets talking about the sexual abuse within the catholic church. And, now, this same offense has been discovered within the baptist convention as well...

I believe strongly that if we do not continue to expose the problem... I don't know, even as I write this, I cannot think that things will immediately, or ever, change. However, we must continue to try. Issues covered in this drama are: sexual abuse by religious leaders, family interpersonal relationships, assault victims and their lives,  mindless following (cult), suicide, drug use. Plaisance, with her own brand of writing, does an exceptional drama in exposing, discussing, and recognizing that some, unfortunately, can never accept that the lies they had been told by clergy were, indeed lies. Her ending spotlights, in my opinion, just how some Americans have entered into a cult where lies, hatred, prejudice and violence are part of the web of deceit that is woven by those who are powerful in our daily lives and who take advantage of that power to subjugate and control.

Audrey couldn’t wait for Maggie to come home on Monday to spend the week with her in her own home. Then, she began to wonder what she would do the week after that. “One day at a time…” Audrey thought. She decided to lie down on the sofa to think of things she could do without Luke in her life after Maggie left for her week. “I can’t think of anything I want right now but for Luke to be home with me. Everything should be back the way it was,” she cried, “but I know it can’t. I’m not insane or delusional. Everything will be different.”

One final comment, if you are ever in a position where you question what is happening, just stop and ask yourself: What would Jesus Do? If you do that, knowing of God's Love for Us, you just might know how to handle the many issues that face us, especially today, in a world that has never been so corrupt, at least in my own memory... 

God Bless,

Gabbie