Thursday, May 19, 2011

BRH To Nominate Kevin Kierstead For Onion Vacancy...

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The Unbitten Onion

Kevin A Kierstead




No, I had never heard of The Onion before reading The Unbitten Onion. For those of you who have and enjoy reading it, I recommend you consider Kevin A. Kierstead's collection of 34 "news stories!"

Ranging in content from politics to life stories, Kierstead provides readers with his unique humorous thoughts on such matters as one bored cop who arrests himself to Ozzy claiming violins are gay...

Now, according to the latest World News from the Onion:
Nation Down To Last Hundred Grown-Ups
'Mature Adults Could Be Gone Within 50 Years,' Experts Say
MAY 19, 2011 | ISSUE 47•20
I want to firmly state, without doubt, I am one of those mature adults! And I will be gone within 50 years...

The Unbitten OnionOf course, I didn't have to take such a bold position regarding some of Kierstead's news:

  • I am not prejudiced and just don't care whether violins are gay or not...
  • Personally, I feel the bored cop performed his job responsibilities quite admirably.
On other stories, I will offer the following comments:
  • No, I didn't see the late Pope at Denny's, but I do go there for great breakfasts and know that any Pope would be pleased with his breakfast if he chose Denny's over some other restaurants which I will not name...
  • I applaud the dead person who refused to speak at her funeral. She was probably relieved to finally be away from a husband who would demand she do so.
  • For the worker who was 7 minutes late and threatened with police action--better start keeping a CYA file and be prepared for what some companies do to workers these days...
  • Gallagher's going after his audience with a Sledge-o-matic didn't surprise me--that man is crazy!
  • Pearl Harbor was an accident? We should forgive and forget then, now that we know the truth.
  • The 81-year-old woman who agrees her place is in her home is undoubtedly one of those immature individuals identified by the Onion who will live long and prosper...
  • Regarding the family whose monopoly game is still going after six years--May you all get "go to jail" cards and never be able to leave...
  • All political news provided, although potentially news worthy, is being ignored on penalty of potential lawsuits and premature death (I need to live as many of those 50 years as is possible; the world needs me.
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Humor lovers-- this collection of news starts back in 2003. If you know there were things you missed during those years, you just might want to read The Unbitten Onion for Keirstead's take on many important topics from your past...

Frankly, his articles are so well written, I am amazed that he's not reporting live from The Onion--maybe a column, Kevin's Korner...

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